by Lola Gabriel
“Um, we raise her to be strong and fearless and kind,” Noah said, not really sure what his father was asking him.
His father smiled sadly. “I don’t doubt that you would. You would be a good father, Noah, and unless Chessa has changed dramatically from the girl I once knew, she would make an excellent mother. That’s not my concern. My concern is what would happen if your firstborn child was a girl rather than a boy. What would happen if she didn’t produce a male heir? With Raina, there’s no danger of that.”
“That’s what this is about? You’re worried we’ll have a girl?”
“Well, of course. Aren’t you?”
“Not really. Would a female alpha really be that big of a problem?”
“It’s never been done before.”
Noah shrugged. “That doesn’t mean it couldn’t work.”
“I suppose not. Who knows? Maybe it would be exactly what the pack needs. But the fact remains that we might never find out.”
Noah felt a stirring of excitement inside of him. His father had used the word ‘might.’ It wasn’t exactly agreement, but it wasn’t an outright refusal. He fought to control himself and not show any emotion. If he wanted his father to see he was serious about this, then he needed to be rational, logical.
“Maybe not. But if Chessa doesn’t have the Sanmere protein, it won’t change anything. I need her, Dad.”
“Noah,” Gideon said, his tone low, warning Noah not to push him on this. Noah ignored the warning and ploughed on.
“Here’s the deal,” he said. “If Chessa doesn’t have Sanmere in her blood, she can’t turn. So, we could have seventy or so happy years. And once her time is up, I would be ready to fulfil my duty to the pack. I would have experienced love, real love, and I could then take a mate and produce an heir.”
Gideon banged his fist on the desk and jumped to his feet. He began pacing behind the desk.
“There is no way in hell you are going gallivanting off with some mortal and bringing the name of this family into disrepute!” he snarled.
“Plenty of other bears do it,” Noah pointed out.
“And they aren’t the heir to the alpha position, and so they can. How do you think it would look? My son cavorting with a mortal! I forbid it, Noah.”
“You forbid it?” Noah said, getting to his feet. “I came here to compromise with you, and that’s your answer? You forbid it?”
“Yes. And I’m sorry.” His father sighed. “I don’t want to hurt you, Noah. But my duty is to the pack. And as the alpha, I have to make the tough decisions. The ones that might make my son hate me.”
Noah shook his head. “I don’t hate you. And I get what you’re saying. But you’re running the pack based on a bunch of archaic rules. Times have changed, Dad! No one will care if the alpha is a girl. No one will care if I’m with a mortal, as long as they know that one day, they’ll get their heir.”
“And what about Raina?” his father asked. “You think it’s fair to her to leave her sidelined until your mortal toy expires?”
“Don’t you dare speak about Chessa that way!” Noah cried.
“That’s the way the pack will talk about her, Noah. You better get used to it if you’re serious about this. You better get used to the pack laughing at you behind your back, not respecting you. Now you see why I forbid it?”
Noah ignored his father’s taunts, refusing to rise to his bait. Instead, he thought of Raina and how he should handle that part of it. The truth was, Noah had barely thought of Raina since he had held Chessa in his arms again. But it wasn’t like she would be upset that she didn’t get to mate with him. And if he was the one to call it off, then she had fulfilled her duty to the pack, and her father would be reinstated.
“I’ll talk to Raina,” he assured his father. “She’ll understand. She’ll have seventy years to find true love. If she does, then I’ll find another mate. And if she doesn’t, then we’ll agree to be mated after Chessa’s life is over.”
“You think it’s easy to find a female bear that’s not already mated?”
“No, I don’t,” Noah answered. “But you’re the one who taught me that nothing worth having is ever easy.”
“I did teach you that,” Gideon recalled. “And I hope you see how it applies to this situation. I appreciate that it won’t be easy for you to walk away from Chessa, but that’s what must happen. I’ve heard you out, Noah, and I really have considered your request. But I must insist that you end this thing with Chessa now. I’m not a monster. Go to her, explain it all to her, and say your goodbyes. And then come back here, ready to be a man and accept your fate.”
“I can’t do that,” Noah said. “I won’t.”
“But you must,” his father insisted.
Noah opened his mouth, ready to make his arguments again, but he knew it would be pointless. His father’s mind was made up. And once that happened, there was no changing it. Noah sat down heavily on the chair he had vacated. He put his elbows on the desk and rested his face in his palms for a moment as his world came crashing down around him. His mind whirled. What should he do? Leave the pack? Leave Chessa? He didn’t want to do either, but his father had left him with no other choice. He slowly lowered his arms and looked at his father, his decision made.
“Then I must tell you—”
“Wait,” he heard his mother say. She stood in the doorway to his father’s office, and she walked over to where Noah was sitting. “Stop before you say something you can’t take back.”
“How long have you been listening, Sophia?” Gideon asked as she sat down beside Noah.
“Long enough,” she replied. She turned to Noah and took his hand in both of hers. Her eyes pleaded with him to hear her out. She wouldn’t change his mind, but he felt he owed her this chance to speak. “Noah, son, you know I love you. More than anything. And I want more than anything for you to be happy. But your father is right.”
When Noah opened his mouth to interrupt, she kept talking, and he bit his tongue, staying silent and letting her finish.
“Noah, you have a responsibility to the pack. To your father and me. And you can’t be with a mortal. It’s not just unheard of, it’s ludicrous. But…” She turned to Gideon, her expression begging him to listen to her and to indulge her. “Gideon, I’m not ready to lose my son. And that’s what’s going to happen if we can’t even meet him halfway. Noah is right, too. A female alpha isn’t the worst thing in the world.”
“What are you saying, Sophia?” Gideon asked, beating Noah to the question.
“I’m saying we should compromise. We’ll have Chessa’s blood tested if she agrees to it. And if she’s got the Sanmere protein in her blood, then Noah can take her as his mate. If she hasn’t, then Noah has to agree to walk away from her and marry Raina.”
“Okay,” Gideon said, somewhat reluctantly. “I can live with that if Noah agrees.”
Noah nodded his head. “Okay. It’s a deal.”
“Right. I’ll call the lab,” his father said. “Talk to Chessa. If she agrees to be tested, go to the lab at any time.”
Noah nodded and stood up.
“Thank you,” he said. His mom followed him out of the office.
“I wish I could have done more Noah,” she said.
“I know,” Noah smiled. “You gave us a chance. I guess that’s all I can really ask for right now.”
He left the house and walked slowly along the street, his mind racing. He had been about to tell his father he was leaving the pack when his mother had spoken up. Her intervention had surprised him. Normally, she stayed well away from pack business.
He knew in his heart that if Chessa’s blood didn’t come back positive, he would leave. It would hurt like hell to walk away from his family, his brothers and sisters, but it would hurt him more to walk away from Chessa.
Noah pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and called Raina.
“Good news,” he said. “But keep it to yourself until it’s official.”
“I
will,” Raina said. “What is it?”
“I’ve spoken to my parents, and they’ve agreed to have Chessa tested for the Sanmere protein. If she has it, you’re off the hook, and because it’ll be me who ended the arrangement, you’ll have fulfilled your end of the deal, so your dad won’t lose out.”
“That’s fantastic news,” Raina replied. “So, I take it your reunion with her went well last night then?”
“Better than I ever could have hoped,” Noah laughed.
“I should probably be offended that you sound this pleased about not having me to marry me,” Raina said.
Noah’s immediate instinct was to apologize, but he could hear the laughter in Raina’s voice, and he remembered their conversation from the night before.
“Yeah, you probably should be, but don’t tell me you’re not equally pleased to hear this.”
“Yeah. The idea of marrying you wasn’t great, to be fair.”
“Thanks for that,” Noah said.
“You’re welcome. Now, on a more serious note, what happens if she doesn’t have the protein?”
“You said it yourself, Raina. Every instinct in me is telling me Chessa is my mate. That means she has to have it, right?”
“It means there’s a damned good chance of it. But you have to know there’s a chance she might not have it.”
“I have considered it. And if she hasn’t, then I’ll walk away from the pack and this life and spend her mortal years right by her side. I’ll find a way to convince her that I’ll be happier with a few years with her than with an eternity with someone else.”
“Let’s just hope she has it,” Raina said.
Noah knew she wasn’t convinced he would leave the pack if it came to it. He wasn’t entirely sure himself. He was sure that he would do it, but it would be incredibly hard to convince Chessa it didn’t matter that he was immortal and she wasn’t. He hadn’t even been able to do it when she was eighteen and the future seemed so far away. He had no idea how to do it now. All he knew for sure was that he had to give it his best shot.
“Keep me updated, alright?” Raina said.
“I will,” Noah promised. He ended the call.
Please let Chessa have the Sanmere protein, he thought to himself, a silent wish that he was putting everything on.
6
“You’re very happy this morning,” Ally said as Chessa handed her the tray with her breakfast on it.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Chessa grinned. She sat down in the armchair beside her mom’s bed and began to nibble on a piece of toast.
She was deliriously happy. Last night with Noah had been everything to her, and now that he thought he had a way they could be together without her being a burden to him, her heart was happy again.
“I didn’t mean it that way,” her mom replied. “I just wondered what had changed.”
Chessa shrugged off the question. She shifted in the chair, trying to find a way to sit so that her battered clit wasn’t pressing against the seam in her jeans. She welcomed the throbbing feeling in one way; it was a reminder of Noah filling her, claiming her. But in another way, it made her eager for more, and she had to keep reminding herself that this could all come to nothing, and then she would have to walk away from Noah again. She wasn’t sure she was strong enough to do that.
“Does it have something to do with Noah, by any chance?” Ally asked.
Chessa frowned. “Why would you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Her mom smiled. “Maybe because he was here with you last night.”
“What? How did you know?” Chessa demanded, feeling her cheeks turning pink.
“I might be sick, Chessa, but I’m not deaf. I heard the door opening at stupid o’clock, and I peeked out the window and saw Noah leaving. I kind of suspected you’d gone to meet up with him when I found your note, so I couldn’t resist.”
“Shit. Sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you,” Chessa said, wondering exactly how much her mom had heard.
“You didn’t wake me. I was on my way back from the bathroom when I heard the door.”
“Do you like Noah, Mom?” Chessa asked, moving the conversation onto what she hoped was safer ground.
“You know I do. He was always polite, very mature for his age. And I never did really work out why you two split up.”
“It was complicated. It still is,” Chessa said.
“Do you love him?”
She nodded. “More than anything.”
“Then it’s only complicated if you let it be complicated. As long as you love each other, everything else is just window dressing. You can get through anything together.”
“I hope you’re right.”
The doorbell rang, and Chessa frowned slightly.
“Are you expecting anyone?” she asked.
“Nope,” Ally replied with a grin. “I’d be willing to bet it’s Prince Charming himself.”
Chessa stood up and went to the window. She looked down to the garden and saw Noah looking up. She lifted the curtain, her heart thudding when he smiled up at her. She raised two fingers, telling him to give her two minutes. She let the curtain fall back down, but she didn’t immediately turn back to her mom. She had to take a second to calm herself down, to stop her heart from racing and to stop the thoughts of last night flooding her head.
“Who is it, hon?” Ally asked, and Chessa knew she couldn’t stall any longer.
“Prince Charming in the flesh,” she answered.
“Go talk to him, Chess. Make it work. I’ll be okay here. I’ve got a new Netflix series I want to binge on, and I’m going to take a shower soon.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Chessa asked, well aware that her mom was letting her know she’d be doing things to drown out any noise they might make.
“I’m sure. Now go, before he gives up and leaves.”
Chessa hurried down the stairs. She paused at the bottom, peering into the mirror that hung there. She ran her fingers through her hair, making sure it wasn’t a complete mess. She smiled at her reflection, enjoying seeing the red streaks in her hair. They seemed daring, not like her. And she hoped she could be as daring with Noah. She hurried to the door and pulled it open.
“Hi,” she said.
The rest of her words were cut off as Noah pulled her into his arms and kissed her full on the mouth. Her stomach fluttered as she eagerly returned his kiss. Finally, Noah stepped back. He held her by the tops of her arms, looking her up and down appreciatively.
“Hi,” he greeted. Chessa laughed and shook her head.
“Come on in,” she said. “You want some coffee?”
“Sure, thanks,” Noah said.
Chessa directed him to the lounge and went to the kitchen to fetch their coffee. As she poured two mugs of steaming coffee, she reminded herself that nothing had changed. She and Noah couldn’t work. His kiss told her otherwise, though.
Maybe I should just let myself be with him. After all, we could have twenty or thirty good years before I start to become a burden on him, and I could leave then. I could live without having kids.
She couldn’t bear to start something with Noah knowing it would end that way. She took the coffee through to the lounge with slightly shaking hands. She smiled at Noah and set a cup down in front of him on the coffee table. He sat on the couch, reminding Chessa of what had happened in that very spot last night. She shook her head, trying to shake away the memory. She sat down in a chair opposite Noah, determined not to let this get out of hand, no matter what happened.
“I won’t bite you,” Noah grinned.
“Shame,” Chessa said with a wink. Damn it. She had to stop. “So, what can I do for you?” she asked.
“Agree to be my wife,” Noah said. Chessa opened her mouth to protest, and Noah laughed. “I’m kidding. Not about wanting you to be my mate, but about asking you that way. I’ve talked to my parents.”
“And?” Chessa prompted. She barely dared to hope there was a way for h
er and Noah to be together, but she couldn’t help it. Noah was happy, playful. It wasn’t the way he would be if his parents had told him there was no hope for them.
“A couple of years ago, I found out why some women survive being turned immortal and others don’t. There’s a protein called Sanmere. The humans who have it can become immortal successfully with no risks. My parents have agreed to allow you to be tested. Are you willing to do it, Chessa?”
“So, let me get this straight. If I have this protein, I can turn into a bear with no risks and we can be together for all eternity?” Chessa asked, wanting confirmation. Noah nodded. “And if I don’t, then I can’t be turned successfully?”
Noah nodded again.
“What are the chances of me having this stuff? Is it common?” Even though Chessa wanted to believe this would be easy, she couldn’t let herself. Not yet. Not until she knew for sure.
“Honestly, no, it’s pretty rare,” Noah said. “But I really think you have it.”
“Really think I have it, or just want me to have it?”
“Chess, every instinct in my body tells me that you’re my mate. My instincts are rarely wrong, and for my animal side to be telling me that, it means it senses one of its own.”
“Okay…” Chessa nodded, still trying to force herself not to get her hopes up. It was easy to imagine Noah mistaking longing for something with a certainty it would happen. “So what test do I have to take? Walk through fire? Fight to the death with some other fair maiden?”
“Fair maiden?” Noah laughed. “You make it sound like a fairy tale.”
Chessa secretly thought it was Noah who believed this was a fairy tale, but she held back the comment. They might not have much more time together, and she didn’t want to spend what little they might have arguing with him.
“Seriously, though, what would I have to do?” she pressed him, suddenly nervous now that he seemed to be avoiding the question.
“Don’t worry about that, it’s just a simple blood test. We’ll go to my father’s lab, and they’ll take a blood sample and test it.”