by Erin Bevan
There it is.
She had no idea what she did to him with that little sound. One that had him so twisted, he was ready to start firing rounds like a one-man army.
His desires had him so needy, he feared he’d smash her into the wall if he kept going. He wanted her, all of her. Now.
Take it slow.
He eased up, allowing them both to breath and think.
As if thinking could really happen right now.
“Wow,” she panted and placed her fingertips to her lips. “What was that? All of it?”
What I’ve been waiting to do for years. “The chemistry you were worried we might not have. Be my wife, Alex. Marry me.”
“Max…I thought about it a lot last night and…” She hesitated and her blue eyes clouded with concern.
He needed to kiss her again. He’d keep kissing her until she stopped doubting. Leaning down, he took her mouth again, slow and steady, the buildup smoldering his insides. “Marry me, Alex. For you, for this baby.” He placed his palm to her now flat stomach. “Marry me.”
“Max,” she said his name like it pained her as she twisted from his grasp. Keeping her back toward him, she strolled to the counter, and tapped her fingers on the countertop before she turned. Working her lip between her teeth, she kept her gaze on his chest instead of his eyes.
His heart pounded as a ball of leaded dread dropped into his stomach. She was still going to say no.
After all of that? After it was a no-brainer how good they could be together?
Of course, she would say no. He hadn’t given her enough time not to doubt him. To prove he can be something, someone, different for her.
And him practically raping her mouth as he held her against the wall was not proving he had changed. Quite the opposite, in fact.
“I think we could be rushing this.”
Rushing this. Absolutely they were rushing, for her sake, and for his. If she said no, he’d never get the courage again to make this work.
“Time is of the essence, is it not?”
“Right.” Biting her bottom lip, she rubbed her hands together and stared down at the ground. “It is, and that’s my fault, but you’ve never been one to commit.”
“Not this again.” He ran his hands through his hair, tempted to pull it out. How could he make her see?
“Yes, this again. Do you really think you can do this?”
How could either of them predict the future?
“I think you think too much, Alex.”
“Max.” She straightened. “This is a big deal. How do I know we aren’t making a giant mistake, ruining our friendship?”
“You don’t, and neither do I.”
“Well that’s not good enough, and I don’t want to lose you,” her voice escalated.
“And I don’t want to lose you. Listen. Come here. Just stop thinking so much. Feel.” Pulling her back into his arms, he pressed his lips to hers again, pouring his heart, his soul and everything he had into the kiss as if his life depended on it, because it did. Alex was his life. His best friend. If she said no, he’d lose that. Lose her. Forever. He’d always been an idiot when it came to her, moving too slow or too fast, but if she said no to this, what did he have? A company, a campaign, but no one to celebrate the victories with. No one to love.
After he’d poured everything into his kiss, showing her the words he couldn’t offer her, he pulled back. “I think we’d better stop.” Or he wouldn’t be able to.
“Yeah.” She ran a hand through her hair, her pants as heavy as his. “You’re right.” She glanced down at her feet and bit her lip before she glanced back at him again and if her face didn’t scream come get me then he was a virgin.
Moving in a lusty haze, he had her back against the wall again, while she had her hands around his back and their lips locked in an erratic version of the Texas Two Step. Gripping her hips, he reached for the elastic of her shorts, his mind light and dizzy like he was lust drunk on the verge of madness. Her hands roved over him, nearly everywhere, and every place she touched, he tingled. He’d waited so long to explore what they could be together, how good they could be together.
This was it. This was their chance.
“Max, stop.” She pushed against his chest. “I don’t think…”
His heart dropped to his knees as he stopped kissing her and tapped into that self-restraint he’d wanted to toss away, but he wouldn’t dare pressure her. If she wasn’t in it one hundred percent with him, he didn’t want her in it at all. “Would you like to stop, Alex?”
“I…I don’t know. I can’t think straight.”
He may have been and done a lot of things in his life but taking advantage of a woman wasn’t on his list, and he’d be damned if he started today.
“I won’t do anything without your permission.”
“Okay…I think…” She pressed her eyes close concentrating and let out a deep breath. “I think we should stop.”
Max released his hands from her and nodded as defeat sank in his belly.
Give her time, Max.
“I won’t rush you, Alex.” He gripped her hips and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head.
When he pulled back, she peered at him, her cheeks flushed. “Oh, Max.” Tears welled in her eyes, confusion marring her features all over again.
He pulled her in close, hugging her, holding her, fearing what was to come.
She would say no.
And what they had would be over. He couldn’t keep her as his best friend if he couldn’t have her for his. He’d waited all these years. He didn’t want to wait any longer. “Marry me, Alex?” he asked in a whisper.
“Max, look at me.” She stepped back staring up at him.
The fear in her gaze faded as a tear slipped from her eye. “Yes.”
“Yes?”
Did he hear her right? He stepped back, taking her hands in his, and searched her face for doubt, for correction.
“Yes. I will marry you. For this baby, and for your campaign and business.”
For her baby. For his campaign. Business. But not for love? Not because she loved him.
“It’s like we’ll be business partners.”
Business partners? He didn’t want a business partner. He already had one of those. He wanted someone to come home to, to love, and to share his life with. Finally, someone who would stick around.
“That is what you wanted, right?” Alex stepped away from him toward her kitchen, avoiding eye contact. “A modern-day marriage of convenience. I’m sure we can make it work. At least, for a little while. And then when the time is right we’ll get divorced. ” Alex shrugged nonchalantly and turned to grab her coffee cup.
Divorced? Not the words he wanted to hear coming from his future wife. But if he disagreed, she may never decide to marry him. He had so much to prove to her that he was worth sticking around for. His biological parents may not have thought so and his adopted father may not have thought so either, but he’d be sure he proved to Alex he was worth her loyalty, however he had to do it.
“Of course,” he agreed. “Whatever you think is best.”
10
Whatever I think is best?
He hadn’t even blinked when she said divorce. Not even an ounce of surprise. He expected them to divorce.
Well fine. At least she knew where she stood.
“And Max.” Alex said pointedly as she tapped the lid of her coffee. “Just because we’re getting married to help each other out, it doesn’t mean I expect special…” she stopped not really wanting to say the word.
“Special what, Alex?” His green eyes got all yummy and intense looking and she forgot for a second he’d just irritated her with the whole divorce expectation bit.
“Treatment,” she said the word with confidence. Maybe with too much confidence because the minute she said the word his lip quirked and heat rose in her cheeks again, and her body temperature soared matching that of her morning drink. Scolding.
“Y
ou don’t like how I treat you?” He scooted closer to her, his bottom pressed against the counter as he faced her.
“Well…” she shrugged.
Remain confident. Don’t cower!
Of course she liked how he had treated her and wanted more special treatment from him, but no. Just no. If he didn’t want to be with her forever, they didn’t need to be with each other even once. Look at how much of a mess she’d already made.
“I mean, I think I could, it’s just that I think it might be best if we don’t mix business with pleasure.”
Smooth going there ex-lax.
“What I mean to say is, this marriage is, after all, only a business arrangement. When you find someone you really love and want to marry, or I do, it’ll just make the break that much easier. You’re my best friend, Max. I don’t want sex to ruin that.”
“Oh.” Max flipped his gaze away before he reached for the donut box again. “Fair enough but the special treatment I was referring to was the donuts, and me just being your friend.” He flipped the lid open and cast a half-smile her way before he turned his gaze all business. “But, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from owning my own company, Alex, is that you can’t have all business and no pleasure.”
He was goading her.
“Owning Hot Sauce King is much different than agreeing to marry someone. This is a legal, binding contract. It means something. Or at least, it’s supposed to.”
“You don’t think I sign legal binding contracts on a regular basis? You don’t think they mean something?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I know they do. That’s not what I mean. I’m saying you can’t compare hot sauce to marriage. It doesn’t work. And I’m not just one of your bimbos you toss away.”
He studied her, his stare hard, and she suddenly felt as vulnerable as she did panting against her wall with little room between them.
“Alex.” He took a step closer. “If I did anything to make you feel that you weren’t important to me, I am sorry. You matter more to me than any other woman I’ve ever known, besides my mother.”
Her heart did a little skitter-skatter and she suddenly felt like a huge heel.
“But I think hot sauce and marriage is a great comparison. Some people like their hot sauce hot, while some like it sweet, some like it tangy, and some like it full of flavorful surprises. Don’t you think a marriage can be the same way?”
The closer he came, the harder it was to breathe.
You matter more to me than any other woman.
In all the years with Chris, she’d never been this excited. She took a step back from him, needing a bit of space.
Max circled in front of her causing her back to press against the counter. He placed his hands on the countertop for balance as he trapped her again, like he’d done with the wall. His body stood so close, almost touching hers as he stared into her eyes. Determination flashed in his gaze.
Her blood pulsed, causing her heart to beat a chaotic rhythm, while extra blood pooled to a place that needed to be dormant. She didn’t know if it was the pregnancy hormones racing through her body that made her feel so out of control or the one hundred ninety pounds of sexy-as-hell Max blocking her escape. When had he become so good looking, and when had he decided to look at her like she was his next catch?
But she didn’t want to be his next catch. She wanted to be his only catch. And until he could prove himself, there had to be some hard and fast rules.
Like number one: No sex. Ever.
“Max, we have to set up some ground rules if we are really going to do this.” Alex placed her hands back on his chest giving him a little shove backward.
His steps faltered. “Ground rules?” He quirked an eyebrow. “I never liked playing by the rules, Alex.”
“Yeah. Well, too bad.” Alex crossed her arms.
“Okay.” He raised a hand in the air and sighed. “Lay it on me. What is it?”
“Number one. What just could have happened over th…there.” She waved a hand toward the wall and stared down at her feet getting her wits back. “Can’t happen again. No sex and no kissing.” She pointed a finger at him. “None.”
“What? No kissing? Come on, Alex.” Max crossed his arms and stared at her like she’d asked him to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in Arabic. “I don’t think that’s going to be believable. I mean, when we get married, we will have to kiss at the altar.”
Damn, he was right.
“Okay, fine.” She waved her hands in the air before she pointed a finger at him. “That’s the exception.”
Max placed his hands in his pockets and bounced on his toes slightly, leaning down and looking at her as he spoke. “Fair enough, but what about when we’re in public, I can assure you we won’t need to do massive displays of affection, but people will wonder if we aren’t friendly toward each other.”
“Friendly, yes. We’re always friendly.”
“Not what I’m referring to and you know it.”
“What exactly are you referring to?”
“Couples who are engaged might show affection every once in a while. A kiss here. A hand hold there.” He shrugged like kissing and hand holding were no big deal. But it was a big deal. To her. When he came near her, touched her, her wires got crossed.
However, he was right. They would have to do those things.
“Okay, kissing and holding hands but,” she raised a finger in the air, tapping her nail to his chest, “only if it seems necessary for the occasion. But how do we know if it’s necessary?” She dropped her finger from his chest.
This was getting very confusing.
“We play it by ear?” He shrugged.
“Yes. Good.” She paced. “We play it by ear.”
Is that how everything would work…by ear? How would these rules really work if there was no set rule? Besides the no sex. They were never having sex.
“Anything else?”
There had to be more, but him staring at her like she was an amusement park and her roller coaster didn’t go all the way to the top had her self-assuredness flustered.
“Yes.” She stopped and stared at him again. “Other women are off limits. No other women while we’re together, not even so much as flirting with them.”
“Okay, I can handle that. But just so you know, I haven’t been with another woman since you’ve been with another—” He stopped and cleared his throat.
“Another what?”
He rolled his eyes and grabbed a donut off the counter. “Another man.” He drew out the word man like he had a bad taste on his tongue.
“Are you mad?”
“No.” He shrugged and took a bite of his donut. “Not at all. Anything else?”
She paced back and forth. What else could she lay on him? Truth was, she didn’t have the right to lay anything on him. He was doing all of this for her, and what she really wanted to lay on him would break her number one rule.
“No.” She shook her head. “I can’t think of anything right now. Are we clear?”
“So you’re saying.” He dropped his donut and grabbed her hands pulling her in front of him. “I can’t be with other woman, and I can’t be with you, right?” Tracing his fingers over her shoulder, he played with the strap of her top.
“Right.” She nodded, flipping her gaze to his talented fingers on her shoulder. The strap slowly slid down her arm, and she glanced back to Max, calculating his next move.
“Then I suppose I can’t change your mind about sex being completely off the table for us?” Max slid the other strap off her shoulder.
Horny bastard.
“Of course it’s off the table, Max.” She raised her straps back up to their proper spots. “I’ve already told you, I’m not one of your little groupies you can sleep with and toss to the side. Besides, when we decide it’s the right time for a divorce, it’ll just make things so much easier not mixing business and pleasure. And then you can be with whomever you want.”
“Then, I expect the
same rules to apply to you.” He crossed his arms. “You’re not allowed to sleep with other men, or flirt with other men while we’re together.”
As if she even had the desire to.
“Of course,” she bristled. “There’s no one I want to be with.”
“No one?” Max quirked a brow.
“No.” Alex stood straighter. “No one.”
“Oh, I don’t believe that.”
He rubbed her shoulders, her tank top straps twisting between his fingers. He smelled of his musky aftershave and Ivory soap again. He was making her dizzy and horny. Who knew Ivory soap could be such an aphrodisiac? And if she didn’t love him, she’d really hate him right now.
“Well, believe it,” she said with more authority than she’d used all morning.
“But, what if our chemistry gets the best of us and we can’t help ourselves like a few minutes ago? Then what?”
“We do not have chemistry.”
If she told herself that enough times she might believe it.
“Liar.”
Well, he had her pegged there. “Doesn’t matter what we have. We can…”
He let go of her strap, letting them fall down her arms again making the low cut of her top slip farther down her barely covered breasts. His fingertips moved across her collarbone as her fortitude slowly sank like a ship taking on water.
“We can…” she started again then stopped as he moved his fingers down the side of her tank top, grazing her breasts through her shirt with his fingertips.
“We can do what? What were you saying?”
“I…I don’t remember.” Her breathing did that stupid in and out huffy thing again like so many women in Max’s past had when they’d talked to him. She’d always rolled her eyes and thought they were complete idiots. Now she understood. She was the idiot. When he got so close, staring at her with those intense green, you-want-me-to-take-you eyes she couldn’t form a coherent sentence. Especially with her body tingling all over like she’d been shocked by static cling.
She wanted to cling to him like static.
Years of grade-school memories, high school, college, all of it flashed through her mind. All the late-night study sessions, the parties, the weekends where they vegged out eating pizza and chips, even the weeks they spent designing his campaign signs. They’d always done everything together…except this. What if it didn’t work?