“It wasn’t me,” he croaked as he got nearer to us and let the EMT take her out of his arms. “It was Rob,” he gasped, falling to his knees in front of me, struggling to get oxygen into his lungs.
“Rob?” Levi growled next to me. “Rob who?”
At that moment, I couldn’t have told you who anyone was, apart from the woman who was getting an oxygen mask put over her face while they stuck shit to her body and looked at a screen. Just then, they pulled her dress up, and I saw her bare stomach, the perfect mound that my son was making…
I’d never in my life felt anything like it. It was like someone had reached into me and ripped my heart out of my chest. No drama, no bullshit, it was like my world was ending as one of them signaled to the other, slammed the door shut, and then the sound of the siren started screaming over the noise the fire was making.
Did you know that fire made a noise? It was surreal. It had its own screaming noise too, along with a roar.
“Tate,” Levi shook me, but I couldn’t look away from the lights moving quickly down the street away from me. Lily was in that ambulance. My son was in it. “Tate, fucking snap out of it, you asshole,” he roared, giving my face a slap. “She needs you, so grow a pair of fucking balls and let’s go. Lily needs you.”
Out of all of that, it was the last three words that snapped me out of it. Sure, I’d get him back for slapping me in the face later, I might have been out of it at the time but I could still feel it. For now, Lily needed me, and where she was, I was. She and the baby were my priority, and anything else could wait.
“This one needs to go now!” another voice yelled, and I turned around to see them working on Lily’s dad, one paramedic pumping his chest, while another one steered the gurney onto the waiting ambulance.
How the fuck did this happen?
Looking down at Chris who was still on his knees on the floor, his shoulders shaking, I met Levi’s eyes and nodded. At the same time, we bent and hooked our arms under his, picking him up and taking his weight.
“Come on, man,” I grunted, moving so that my arm supported him around his back. “You need to get to the hospital.”
I’m not going to lie, his panting worried me. I’m also going to divulge the epiphany I had in that second. The man had carried Lily out of the burning bar. He could have left and stood outside it waiting for one of the firemen to do it, but he hadn’t. He’d gone above and beyond for her, and at the same time for my son. I owed him.
The epiphany was – even someone you think is scum can open your eyes to what humans are capable of. They can teach you a valuable lesson that helps steer you through life, seeing the world through different eyes than you did before. Even someone who had done something really shitty can turn around and atone for their sins with one single act of humanity.
That’s what he’d done tonight.
Later on, I’d find out in turn that someone I’d overlooked could do the most heinous thing that almost cost me everything. Their reasoning was ridiculous, it was weightless, and the consequences of it almost took lives.
So, I’m not sure my epiphany outweighed that last discovery, but it sure as hell changed me as a man.
Seventeen
Tate
When we’d arrived, we’d passed Chris off to a doctor who was waiting with a gurney to assess him. I’d sat in the back of the truck with him the whole way encouraging him to keep breathing as he wheezed and coughed. As we’d pulled into the hospital’s parking lot, Levi had driven right up to the entrance and screeched to a stop, falling out and yelling for a medic – a freaking medic like we were in a war movie.
Once they’d wheeled Chris away, I tracked down a nurse in amongst the mayhem going on in the ER.
“Lilith James? She’s my fiancée.”
“This way,” she pulled me toward a door, and then down a hallway.
“My brother’s just parking, he’ll be here soon,” I mumbled, following blindly behind her.
All around me I could hear the bleeping of those monitors that they attach to people to see what their heart rate is and whatever else. There were also people yelling at each other to get stuff and clear spaces. It was terrifying.
“I’ll send him down to you,” she reassured me. “What’s his name?”
“Who?”
“Your brother?”
I think the shock was setting in, because I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. “Which one?”
Giving me an understanding smile, she replied, “The one who drove you here.”
“Oh, Levi. Why?” The whole time I was answering, I was distractedly watching the door of the room in front of us.
What did it mean that she was in an actual room? Was that good news? Did it mean she just needed privacy?
“I’ll send him down to you when he gets here, ok? Just sit here, and someone will be out to talk to you,” she pointed at a plastic chair that I hadn’t noticed sitting next to the door.
I didn’t want to sit down. I wanted to rewind time by two hours and demand they close it up for the night. I wanted to scream and find who the fucking Rob guy was, then rip his heart out so he could feel the pain I was feeling.
I wanted Lily, and I wanted to feel my baby kicking my hand like he’d been doing for the last three months. Nothing in the world could compare to the feeling of both of the people who make up your world underneath the palm of your hand.
I don’t know how long I stood there watching the door, but it felt like hours had passed when Levi walked up to me with the nurse beside him.
“Any news?” he asked, giving me a hug.
This is where I started to struggle emotionally again. We were a close family, we were all each other’s best friends, but me and my brothers weren’t huggers. We might smack the other one on the back like men do, but we didn’t physically go up and hug one another unless it was needed.
I hated and loved that he was hugging me right now.
“I’ll go and see what I can find out,” the nurse told us, giving my arm a squeeze and walking over to the door.
“Thanks, babe,” Levi called.
In another world, I’d have laughed at him calling her babe. Levi Townsend never called anyone babe. The softest and squishiest he got was with Luna, Noah’s wife, and that’s because they’d been best friends since they were kids, and she’d been through a fuck ton. But a random nurse?
In this world though, all of those inconsequential thoughts flew through my head and landed with a thud somewhere behind ‘Didn’t-Give-A-Shitsville’. They were just random thoughts that meant nothing right now.
“Yo,” a familiar voice shouted from the end of the hallway, getting both of our attention.
Right there, standing like a wall of support and love was my family. Mom was on the phone with tears falling down her face as she looked at me and shook her head, but the rest were standing tall and firm.
They didn’t need to say anything because they knew there wasn’t anything that they could say to change what was going on right now, and that’s not why they were there, anyway. They were there to support us and make sure that no matter what, they were there to catch us.
Swallowing over the lump in my throat, I closed my eyes with relief, and let my head thud back down onto Levi’s shoulder.
“I gotchu, fam,” he muttered in my ear, repeating something that Lily had started saying as a joke recently.
She didn’t have any siblings, so mine had taken her under their wings and welcomed her into the family in the sibling way – with lots of shit. In return, whenever someone asked for a drink, or they needed something, she’d snort, do a fist bump in the air and say, “I gotchu, fam.”
“Fuck,” I croaked as I lifted my hands and held onto the sides of my head.
“Don’t you do it,” Archer’s voice warned from beside us. “Don’t you dare break. Your woman is in there with your baby, you stand tall and be her steel rod, you hear?” When I nodded, he gave my shoulder a shake and repeated, “
Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” I snapped, turning around to glare at him. “I fucking hear you.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he gave me a small smile. “Well, fucking good then.”
Taking a deep breath, I moved, so I was leaning against the wall and looked back toward the door. Seconds later, Levi started snickering. When we both looked over at him, he shrugged and said, “He said steel rod. That’s so dirty.”
Glaring at him, I looked at the sign behind him and grimaced, but it was Archer who beat me to it. “That’s not as bad as discharge.”
The door opened as he started making gagging noises and out came the nurse with a look on her face I couldn’t read.
“What is it? Is she ok?”
As she crossed the small space in the hallway, she caught sight of Archer and did a double take. Then again, it could be the fact that my family were now standing right next to us that made her do that, but regardless she did it and then turned back to me. “She’s breathing and conscious, but she’s inhaled a lot of smoke. The baby’s showing signs of distress, though…”
“He’s still alive?”
“Yes, but they’re giving her something to help his lungs before they take her to into surgery.”
“Surgery? What does she need done?” None of it was making sense. She was breathing on her own, she was awake, but she needed surgery?
“They need to get the baby out, sir. He’s in distress now.”
As she said this, the door opened, and they pushed the bed with Lily on it through it.
“We’re heading up now. OR2 is free and Dr. Kapinsky is waiting for us. Are you Tate?”
Nodding my head, I started walking quickly behind them with my family and the nurse behind me.
“Ok, we have her signature to go ahead with emergency c-section. Depending on what anesthetic we end up using, you can be in there with her, so long as you get changed quick enough. Once we get set up to start, if you’re not in we can’t let you enter. Do you understand?”
In the history of stupid questions, given the situation, that one had to rank close to the number one spot on the list. “Yes, what do I need to wear? Is she ok?”
We were now in the elevator, and just as the doors shut behind me, the doctor nodded at the bed with his head and said, “Ask her yourself!” Just as a cold hand touched my fingers.
Someone had cleaned a lot of the muck off her face, but there were still smears and patches all over it. Leaning down, I didn’t bother looking for a clean spot, I just rested my forehead against hers and tried to stay calm. “You scared me.”
Nodding slightly, she swallowed loudly and awkwardly. “He’s going to be ok.”
Not moving my head from where it was, I looked out the corner of my eye and saw her rubbing her bump. I don’t know if it was wishful thinking, or if it was real, but I swear I saw a lump appear under the skin like he was giving her a high five.
“I love you, Lily,” I said shuddering as the first tear won the war and escaped. “And when this is done, the three of us are going to be a family. You’re going to marry me…”
“Yeah,” she replied faintly, scaring me for a second with how weak it sounded. “But it’s a girl.”
Pulling my head up, I looked down at her suspiciously. “How do you know?”
“Women always know,” the doctor grumbled, reminding us we weren’t alone. In fact, there were a grand total of five people in that elevator, all the men agreeing with him, including the nurse who was nodding her head.
At that moment, there was a noise and the doors of the elevator started to open. We’d only gone up two floors, but it felt like we’d gone up forty. Turning to face the hallway, I came face to face with my rock, one who was panting and holding up a hand as he used the other one to brace himself against the wall. My brother.
“S’cool, on you go,” he gasped, moving the hand that had been in the air to his side. “Holy shit, that’s a lot of stairs.”
Walking out ahead of them, I grabbed him up in a hug, ignoring the groan that came out of him. “Thank you.”
“No… man… al… ah, fuck that hurts,” he groaned, pushing me away and stumbling over to one of the plastic chairs against the wall. “I’m here,” he pointed his finger at the floor, and then waved us to go past. “Baby… time.”
Twenty-nine minutes later…
“Ok, Ms. James. We’re just making our way to the… oh, that’s a lot of hair,” the doctor said from the other side of the curtain.
“Jesus Christ,” Lily’s croaky voice tried to yell. “I did my best, ok? I haven’t seen my genie in a long time. Did you see the size of my… ow, stop pulling on it.”
“I meant that the baby has a lot of hair, Ms. James,” came the dry response, followed by snorts and chuckles.
“Oh, right,” she muttered, letting her head fall back down onto the cushioning of the bed with a thud. “Wait, it has hair?”
“Oh, yes. A full, thick, head of hair. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it in all my years getting these little fellas out of their mama’s bellies.”
Throughout the exchange, I didn’t say one word because my eyes were too busy looking at the machine reading Lily’s heart rate and whatever else it was doing. I didn’t understand what any of it meant, but at this moment, so long as none of them said zero, I was happy.
A tugging on my beard got my attention. “Go see it’s hair. I want to know what color it is,” she whispered to me, nodding her head toward the business end of the situation.
When I frantically shook my head back at her, she glared at me and did it again.
To be honest, I was scared they were going to kick me out and make Lily go through all of this without me. I didn’t know if it was like in a library or something, but I didn’t want to risk it.
“Go,” she hissed.
Seeing how much she wanted the answer to the question, I grew a set of balls and stood up. With my height, I could see over the curtain without moving around the barrier - something which I knew that I shouldn’t have done.
* * *
“There we go, Mr. Townsend. That’s the last one in now,” a familiar voice told me.
Opening my eyes, I almost screamed at the strength of the light someone was shining on me. If that was one of my brothers I was going to kill them.
“Switch it off, asshole,” I growled, reaching out and trying to grab it out of their hands.
“Stay still, Tate,” the same voice said. “We’re just finishing up, and then you can go and see Lily and your beautiful baby.”
They could finish whatever they were doing without me, I was going to see Lily and my son. Getting up, I almost hit my head on the bright light still being shone at me, and ended up with something being stuck on my beard.
“What the hell?” I growled, wincing when the nurse pulled it back off again, taking some of my beard with it.
“We’re just covering the stitches, and then you can go. It’s two seconds, Tate,” she said as she unwrapped something, and then put a new dressing over my eyebrow.
Normally, we were the most respectful family. It might not seem it, especially right now, but we were. That said, I was getting anxious to get to her, and me and anxiety didn’t mesh well together – and that was an understatement. We were like oil and water.
“You’re done, I’m done, we’re done. Now let me up!”
“Tate,” Levi’s voice snapped, and I turned to see him glaring at me. “Be nice.”
“You be nice. I’m getting shit stuck on me and lights shone in my face, and somewhere in this hospital are Lily and my baby. Guess who’s not with them? Yeah, fucking me.”
It was the nurse who stopped the argument from exploding, a bit like my head was doing at that moment. “He’s right, Mr. Townsend. Ok, Tate, let’s go and meet your baby.”
It’s amazing the difference those words made on my emotions. One second I was ready to rip my brother’s head off, the next I was grinning like I’d just b
een handed the world, which I kind of had.
Getting to my feet and wincing as my head protested the use of the brain that was rattling around inside it (who would have thought basic cognitive functions would have been so taxing?), I followed behind her, leaning on Levi when he appeared beside me again. That was our way – you fought, you made up, you fought again, you gave an atomic wedgie, you put laxatives in their dinner, you made up, it always ended up with us supporting each other like Levi was doing now.
“Have you seen him?” I asked him as we got back into the elevator that I‘d taken before with Lily. Jesus, he’d still been in her stomach then, and now he was outside of it. That was such a surreal thought.
What did he look like? Was his head a normal size? Did they cut the right thing and not his dick?
“Nope,” he said excitedly. “But I’ve heard all about him.”
I didn’t miss the look between him and the nurse, but I didn’t pay it much attention as I watched the numbers light up inside the elevator for the second time that night. When it made the noise as it reached the right floor, I moved forward so that my chest was against the doors, enabling me to squeeze between them as they opened.
“It’s down the hall,” the nurse chuckled, walking past me and pointing. “This way.”
“How long is this frickin’ thing?”
“We get a lot of patients so we have a lot of rooms,” she shrugged, still walking down the never ending hallway.
I wasn’t sure if I could ask it, but I figured what the hell. I was scared to get the answer given how he’d been the last time I saw him, but I needed it all the same. He was family. “How’s Lily’s dad, Peter James?”
“He’s in surgery still, but the last we heard he was doing better,” she replied, looking around us to make sure no one was around to hear her.
“Lily’s mom is on her way,” Levi added, getting my attention. “Mom was on the phone to her when we were waiting outside the room Lily was in before they took her to surgery. She’s told them they can talk to us in her absence, but she expects to be here in the next…” he checked his watch, “hour or so.”
Tainted Gold: Providence Gold Series Book Three Page 19