“Beck needs to run through the traditions with you,” Dane says, going straight to the refrigerator. “Perhaps if you understood them, and their origins, you might not be so uncomfortable.”
“I’ll review them with him,” I agree, pulling myself up onto a stool, “but I don’t think it’ll make any difference. I grew up living a humble life, and I’ve never liked being the center of attention. I think it’s something I’ll always struggle with.”
“Want something?” he asks, propping the refrigerator door open with his hip.
You. I’m quick to shield the thought from him.
“Do we have beer or wine coolers?”
“We have everything. Glennev is determined to make you feel at home.”
“In that case, I’ll have a wine cooler. I need something to take the edge off my nerves.”
He pours my drink into a wine glass, pops the lid on his beer, and walks toward me, offering me the glass. Our fingers brush in the exchange, sending fiery tingles zipping up and down my arm, but he whips his hand back fast, as if electrocuted, and pain slices a line straight through my heart.
I hang my head as I sip my drink, forcing the wine down over the messy ball of emotion lodged in my throat, desperately fighting tears. I’m overwrought and tired as weeks of anguish and fretful nights finally catch up to me, and I don’t have the mental strength to brush Dane’s rejection off so easily this time.
I feel his eyes on me, watching my heaving shoulders, and I’m sure my emotions are reaching him through our bond. I’m on the verge of a meltdown, and I can’t do that in front of him. Taking my wine, I slide off the stool and head toward the bedrooms.
“Alinthia.” He calls after me, torment clear in his voice.
“Don’t, Dane. Just don’t. I can’t deal with it tonight.”
“I’m sorry.”
I know he is. His genuine remorse trickles through the line, but his apology means jack shit when every time he flinches or pushes me away it tears another strip off my fragile heart.
CHAPTER 8
Beck
“She’s freaking out,” Coop say, after escorting Ellya and Tav out of our chambers.
“She was barely even present just now,” Maddox agrees. “And both her friends noticed.”
“It’s understandable. Today was a lot to take in,” Dane concurs.
“So how do we support her through this?” I ask.
“Run through all the traditions with her,” Dane says, taking another beer from the refrigerator. “Explain where they originated from. While I don’t think it’ll eliminate her anxiety, at least she might feel more prepared in future situations.”
“I was already planning to do that, as well as focusing on preparing for her awakening,” I say, sipping my water as I scroll through some research files Tav sent me earlier on my iPad.
“She likes to feel in control,” Coop says. “It helps with her confidence. I know I’m scheduled to help with her training, but I think I should work with her on mind exercises and meditation. That will help her relax as well as feel more in control.”
“I agree,” Dane says, draining half his beer in one go. “And Maddox and Donovan can work with her on strengthening her physical abilities. Keeping her busy and distracted will help.”
“There’s little fear of not being distracted with all the shit we’ve got going down,” Coop says.
“If Arantu strikes Earth, she’ll be devastated,” I add. “She’ll feel like it’s her fault.”
“Then let’s hope these new arrivals tomorrow are easy to win over,” Maddox says while cleaning up the kitchen.
“We haven’t mentioned the biggest thing of all,” Coop says, drumming his fingers idly off the top of the table. We all look at him. “Love. We need to ensure she feels loved, wanted, and cherished all the time.” No one looks at Dane, but the unspoken sentiment lingers in the air.
“We can do that,” I say after a few minutes of tense silence when it’s clear Dane isn’t going to say anything. “And our new agreement helps.”
“What new agreement?” Dane asks, slurring his words a little. I’m not surprised after the eight beers he’s drunk in the last couple hours.
“We’re each spending two nights with her,” Maddox says, glancing at me from behind Dane’s shoulder with a troubled expression.
“I didn’t agree to that!” Dane snaps.
“You weren’t included in the arrangement,” Coop barks back, and his chair scrapes as he slams it back. “For obvious reasons.” He looks at me. “I’m going to say goodnight to her, and then I’m crashing. I’m beat. See you all in the morning.”
“I’m going out,” Dane blurts before disappearing.
Maddox and I exchange worried looks but neither of us says anything. Dane needs to work through the stuff in his head, but I’ve every faith in him to come out okay on the other side. Our brother is strong. Possibly the strongest of all of us and he’ll deal with it in his own way.
Still, it’s hard to sit back and watch him beat himself up. Oh, he does a good job of hiding it, but we can all see it. And the strain between him and Alinthia is evident every time they’re together. In public, they present a united front and they appear to be working better than ever, but behind closed doors it’s a different story.
Alinthia isn’t as experienced at shielding her emotions as the rest of us, and she’s projecting more than she realizes. Dane’s rejection is getting to her, and she’s hurting. Her pain is my pain, and I want to wipe it all away. To smother her in my love so she doesn’t remember. I close my iPad and stand. “Night, Maddox.”
“Look after our girl.”
“You can count on it.”
I knock softly on her door even though I know Coop isn’t in there.
“You can come in, Beck. I’m alone.”
I step into her room, closing the door quietly behind me. My heart jackhammers inside my rib cage as I pad toward the bed, and butterflies scatter in my chest. The room is bathed in darkness, but I detect her slim frame, curled into a fetal position under the silk comforter. “I can sleep in my own room if you’d rather be alone.” I say it even though I’m hoping she doesn’t send me away.
“I need you. Don’t go,” she whispers, sitting up in the bed and opening her arms for me.
I fall into her embrace, wrapping my arms around her as I cradle her to my chest. I rest my chin atop her head as we hug, and if I were to die in this moment, I’d die happy. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” She peers up at me. “And I know you’re ready, but—”
I press my fingers to her lips, silencing her. “I don’t expect anything tonight but to hold you and comfort you. That’s all I want.”
Tears prick her eyes. “When we make love for the first time, you deserve to have me fully present and in the moment,” she chokes out, clearly overcome with emotion. “And now isn’t that time. I’m sorry.”
I run my hands down over her long blonde hair. “You never have to apologize. Especially for that. Getting to sleep beside you and wake up with you in my arms is heaven to me.”
Her lower lip wobbles, and she bursts out crying. Panic bubbles up my throat as I consider I must’ve said the wrong thing.
“No, Beck. It’s the opposite. It’s the sweetest thing ever, and you’ve no idea how much I needed to hear that now.”
I exhale deeply as my panic subsides. “This is all new to me, and I don’t want to let you down.”
She swipes at the tears rolling down her cheeks. “You could never let me down. None of you ever do.” Her eyes drop low and she frowns. “What’s that?” she asks, pointing at the bottle jutting out from the pockets of my pajama pants.
“Massage oil,” I admit. “I thought, maybe, I could massage you?” Heat creeps up my neck, and I hate that I’m so awkward around anything romantic or even remotely sexual.
She smiles and my heart soars in my chest. “That sounds wonderful. How do you want me?”
“Lie on y
our stomach with your arms stretched out a little at your sides.”
She pulls out of my embrace, lifting the hem of her sleep top and whipping it off in one quick move, leaving her naked from the waist up. I’ve touched her before, but I’ve never seen her breasts bare, and my cock instantly hardens as my eyes rake over her perfect tits, watching as her nipples turn to stiff peaks under my attentive gaze. Fuck it. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, because now, I’m painfully turned on and my thoughts have drifted to sex again.
“Lie down.” My voice sounds strangled, and her soft smile is glorious as she obeys, flinging back the covers and lying facedown on the bed in only a tiny pair of sleep shorts that does nothing to help with the tent situation in my pants.
I rub some oil in my hands, warming them up, as Coop suggested, before positioning myself between her legs as I lean over and begin massaging her bare back. Her shoulders are corded into knots, and her body oozes stress. I rub circles on her skin, working my way from her shoulders down her back, digging my thumbs in deep to loosen the obvious knots.
Her skin is like silk under my fingers, and my hands flatten as I explore more of her gorgeous body. My palms slide along her side, caressing and massaging, and she emits these little whimpers that make my heart sing. She sucks in a sharp gasp when my fingers brush against the side of her tits, and her ass jerks up.
“Is this okay?” I whisper, pressing my mouth close to her ear.
“Feels so good,” she murmurs, thrusting her hips into the bed. “Don’t stop.”
I add more oil to my palms, growing in confidence as I continue massaging her, doing my best to ignore how my body is overheating at the physical contact and how much louder her little whimpers of pleasure are getting.
Thank you, Coop, I think, loving my brother for his selfless suggestion. I would never have thought of doing this otherwise, but it pleases me enormously to know her muscles are relaxing under my hands. That it’s my touch causing her to cry out and writhe on the bed.
“Turn over,” I blurt before I lose my nerve.
Ever so slowly, she flips around, and I move my hands to her stomach, keeping my gaze locked on her beautiful, big blue eyes as I massage her front. “Is this okay?” I whisper as my hands move up her body.
“Yes, Beck,” she pants, and her neck and face are flushed, her eyes draped with desire. “Anything you want to do to me is okay.”
I move my hands to her breasts, kneading them gently, and she closes her eyes, moaning contentedly as I caress her beautiful body. Precum leaks out of my cock, and I hope I don’t embarrass myself and come in my pants. “You’re so beautiful,” I tell her, leaning down to kiss her mouth. “And I love touching you.”
She winds her fingers in my hair, pulling me down so I’m flush on top of her. “I love how you make me feel, Beck. You’re making me feel so good.”
“I want to make you come,” I whisper into her ear. “With my mouth.”
“I’d love that,” she rasps before I claim her mouth in a searing-hot kiss I feel all the way through to my toes. I worship her mouth with my lips and my tongue before beginning a slow perusal of her body. I kiss my way down her neck and across her collarbone, sweeping my lips along the soft curves of her tits, licking a path down her stomach until I reach the band of her shorts. She lifts her hips without question, and I drag her shorts down her legs, leaving her completely naked in front of me.
My cock leaks again, and I’m aching for her. Her eyes drift to the bulge in my pants, and I sense she’s about to change her mind, but I don’t want to be inside her tonight, not with sadness still clinging to her skin. “This is about you,” I say before she can speak. “Only about you.” I push her thighs apart and bury my head between her legs, closing my eyes and inhaling her scent.
I’m not really sure what I’m doing, but I go on instinct, running my tongue up and down her hot folds, and she bucks her hips up, grabbing my head and holding me firmly there. “That feels so good, Beck. Keep going.”
Bolstered by her words, I swipe at her repeatedly, licking my way along her slit before plunging my tongue inside her. She cries out, fisting handfuls of my hair, and I take that as a good sign. I continue sucking and licking her, and she’s moaning and thrusting her groin in my face. “Suck on my clit, Beck,” she pants, “and put your fingers inside me at the same time.”
I plunge two fingers inside her as my mouth suctions over the little bundle of nerves, and she falls apart, crying and screaming, writhing and bucking, while pleading with me to keep going.
When she’s finally sated, I climb up her body, still tasting her on my lips, anxiously surveying her expression. “Was that okay?”
She pulls me down beside her, wrapping her legs around mine. “That was fucking incredible.” She grins at me before pecking my lips. “You’re a natural, and I love that your lips are glistening from me.” She sits up abruptly, straddling me, and my cock jerks so badly I’m scared I’ll come on the spot. Leaning down, she presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I want to reciprocate.” Cupping my face, she adds. “No, I need to reciprocate. I need to taste you. Can I?”
I nod, and every nerve ending and cell stands on high alert as she shimmies her way down my body. I lift my hips as she yanks my pajamas down, and my cock springs free, still oozing precum from the crown.
Her tongue darts out, and she licks it clean, sending shards of pleasure shooting up and down my spine. She’s stroked me to release before, but I’ve never felt her tongue on me, and as she takes me slowly into her mouth, I succumb to the incredible sensations washing over my entire body.
She takes her time, nipping, licking, and sucking, and I’m thrusting into her mouth, unable to stop the needy motion of my body even if I wanted to. She stays with me, pumping the base of my cock harder as her lips suction tighter and tighter, and then I’m coming, roaring her name as I spurt into her mouth, knowing nothing between us will be the same from now on.
Not now I’ve gotten a taste of what’s to come.
And I’m still starving for her.
I think I always will be.
Because she’s the only girl I’ve ever been intimate with, and that’s the way it will always stay.
CHAPTER 9
Alinthia
My melancholy has lifted thanks to Beck’s loving attention and a great sleep. Waking up in his arms made me incredibly happy, and I feel so much closer to him after last night.
I can’t stop touching him now.
It’s like this invisible barrier has been lifted between us, and I’m free to touch him at will. Before, I was always conscious that he wasn’t ready, but I finally feel like we are on the same page. He’s been very touchy-feely with me today too, and I know the others have noticed, but all I sense from them is happiness. I’m sure they probably think we had sex, but I’m glad we didn’t, because I meant what I said. Beck’s first time deserves to be special, and I want to give him that experience and more.
I don’t know how Dane feels about this latest development in our relationship because he only surfaced five minutes before we had to leave with dark, bruising shadows under his bloodshot eyes, his breath reeking of stale beer, and wearing his usual impassive mask, hiding what he’s thinking and feeling.
“I’m worried about Dane,” I silently convey to Maddox as we follow Denzil to the auditorium where I’ll address all the newcomers. Glennev sent word that the extractions went smoothly, and now all five hundred and sixty-three former government prisoners are new guests at the compound.
“We’re worried about him too, but he’ll deal with it. We’ve seen him go through shit before, and he always handles it.” He takes my hand in his much larger one. “Try not to worry. He’ll be okay.”
I don’t think this is like all those other times, but I don’t say it. I’m not sure if the guys genuinely buy into that theory or if they’re just saying it to appease me, but I get the sense I’m the only one who truly sees how lost and broken Dane is. How t
raumatized he is, and I hate this constant helpless feeling slithering in my veins. I need to talk to my mom. She might know how I can help him.
“Everyone is waiting,” Glennev says when we enter the enclosed room at the back of the auditorium. The hum of hundreds of voices can be heard through the walls, and butterflies flood my stomach.
“Were there any problems with the transfer?” Dane asks as Donovan clips a small circular device to each of our shirts.
“These are digital receptors,” Donovan explains. “Once you step foot into the auditorium, they will automatically activate, enabling you to speak as normal, but they will project your voice so everyone can hear.”
I nod, fingering the small chip, marveling again at the tech Glennev has at his disposal.
“How amenable are the new residents?” Dane asks, staring at the wall, and I know he’s using his ability to scan the audience for any signs of trouble. Coop is also on high alert, his body rigidly still as he listens to the crowd outside with the same agenda.
Worry lines crease Glennev’s brow. “The majority are amenable, but we had a few issues. Some tried to escape, but they were caught. A few had to be restrained when they arrived here, but for the most part, I think the crowd is susceptible.”
“Let’s just go do this,” I say, getting more anxious with each passing minute. “We won’t know until we address them.” I gulp back bile, lifting my chin as I give myself a silent pep talk.
Glennev and his advisors move forward, flanked by Donovan and Denzil. Beck slips his hand in mine as we follow them with Maddox, Dane, and Coop right behind us.
The noise is deafening as the door is opened and we step out onto the podium. Glennev walks confidently toward the front of the stage, and the crowd gradually hushes. I feel the weight of hundreds of eyeballs, and a trickle of sweat rolls between my breasts. Very subtly, I draw deep breaths, in and out, removing my hand from Beck’s as Dane maneuvers himself beside me.
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