I like to watch the sunrise from the back porch, and there’s something truly amazing about watching the world in all it’s golden, untarnished beauty before most people awaken.
Dane is on the porch when I step outside, clutching my short robe against my body, and I hesitate for a moment. We haven’t had any arguments this week, but I still feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him. Glennev hasn’t contacted me yet about the therapy appointment, but Dane mentioned he’s sick and holed up in his suite at the base. I hope he didn’t pick up something nasty that day he was here.
“Come join me,” Dane says, not even looking over at me. He pats the empty deck chair beside him. “Have a beer.” He pulls a beer out of the ice bucket on the table beside him, handing it to me. Our fingers brush, and my skin tingles all over. As usual.
We sip our beers in silence, for ages, both of us just staring out at the vast property, listening to the birds chirrup and the sound of little creatures roaming through the woodland. “Can you hear that?” I ask, looking questionably at him. “The sound of animals scurrying through the woods.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t hear that far. Your superhearing ability must be developing.”
“Yeah.” I drain my beer, and he hands me another one without asking.
I pull my knees up to my chest, taking a quick drink. “It’s so peaceful out here. I wish we could stay here until I awaken. While the base in Egypt has everything we need, it feels claustrophobic at times.”
“Try being chained to a wall in a small, dirty dungeon, and then tell me it feels claustrophobic,” he says, slurring his words. My eyes flit to the myriad of empty bottles at his feet, but that’s nothing new. Since he returned from Xzanthar, Dane has been knocking back beers on the regular.
I don’t know how to respond to his statement, so I say nothing, my body tensing with apprehension, as I wait for him to blow a gasket.
“It’s ironic,” he continues, still slurring his words. “I thought I was protecting you, but you’re the one I need protecting from now.”
My brow puckers. “What does that mean? I’m no risk to you, Dane.”
He climbs out of his chair, and the bottle he was holding between his legs rolls to the floor, shattering into pieces. My heart beats faster as he leans down over me. “I just want to try something,” he whispers. “Keep still.” He closes his eyes and leans in, pressing his lips against mine. I barely move my mouth at first, afraid to kiss him back, but as he angles his head and deepens the kiss, I risk it, gliding my lips against his, wondering if I’m dreaming, because this feels surreal.
His kiss grows more insistent, and I’m a blazing inferno of need as months of pent-up longing and frustration twist inside me. I act instinctually, forgetting his request, as I drag one finger down along his chest.
He rips his mouth from mine superfast, and a primitive roar escapes his lips as his hands wrap around my neck. “Bitch!” He squeezes hard, and his eyes glaze over, his nostrils flaring and lip curling into a sneer as he strangles me.
“Dane! It’s me, Alinthia. I can’t breathe.”
“I fucking hate you!” he yells. “And you’re going to die!”
“Dane, please.” I’m gasping for air, tugging on his hands, trying to pull them off. But it’s no use. He’s locked inside his head. Not even aware of his surroundings. I’ve no choice but to use my gift because I’m close to losing consciousness. I summon my firepower, and it trickles down my arms into my hands as I press my fingers into his flesh. It takes enormous control to restrain myself, so I’m only channeling a tenth of my power, because I can hardly fucking breathe, and my body has gone into panic mode, but I do, because I don’t want to hurt him.
He jerks back twenty seconds later, releasing me, and I gasp, sucking lungsful of air deep into me while willing my body to calm down.
Dane drops to his butt on the porch, staring at me with a look of horror on his face.
Tears are pouring down my face, and I’m on the verge of a meltdown. I can’t believe he just did that. That he forced me to do that. “Is this why you hate me? Because I’m her to you?”
He puts his hands over his ears, shaking his head as he rocks back and forth.
“Dane.” My voice is hoarse as I carefully crawl toward him.
“No!” He jumps up. “Don’t touch me! Don’t come near me.” He pounds his fists into the wall, leaving a mark. “I can’t be around you,” he says, shooting me a look that is one hundred percent anguish. “Stay the fuck away from me. Don’t come looking.”
“Dane! No!” I reach for him, but it’s too late.
He’s already teleported away.
CHAPTER 24
“I’m worried sick,” I tell the others the following night when Dane still hasn’t returned. “He’s been gone a day and a half. What if he’s hurt or he’s harmed himself?”
“He wouldn’t do that,” Maddox says.
“You didn’t see him. He wasn’t in his right state of mind.”
“Yeah. We know.” Coop glares at the marks on my neck left by Dane’s fingers.
“He didn’t know what he was doing. He was in a trance.”
“You’re obviously a better person than me, because I can’t forgive him that easily,” Coop says.
“Sure, you can.” I cup his face. “He’s your brother, and he’s been there for you when you needed him. Now, the tables have turned.”
“But he hurt you,” Coop says, drawing me into his body. “He keeps hurting you. How long do we go on making excuses for him?”
Maddox and Beck look away, equally conflicted.
“None of us know exactly what he endured. All we know is Alandra and Zorc were two of the most evil creatures in existence and they tortured him for weeks.” I step back, eyeballing them all. “It’s not easy to forgive him, and I can’t hide how I’m feeling from any of you, so you know how troubled I am, but we’re a team. Through good times and bad times. And we can’t ever lose sight of that or we lose sight of who we are. I think part of the reason why we’re all feeling strong emotions, in different ways, is because there’s a disruption in our bond.”
Beck nods. “I’ve come to the same conclusion.”
“So how do we fix it?” Maddox asks, folding his bulky arms.
“Dane needs professional help. I don’t want to force him into it.” I snort, rolling my eyes. “Who am I kidding? There’s no forcing that man into anything. But I think we can use gentle persuasion. The four of us need to unite to support him, and that means all of you have got to stop burying your heads in the sand.”
All three guys look away, unable to meet my gaze, proving my point. “Dane’s in denial, and you guys are in denial. Ignoring his behavior, and hoping it will right itself, is not the way to handle this. He needs us to confront him about this. We love him and we must take decisive action before he completely spirals; if he hasn’t already. What happened to him has traumatized him. I’ve been Googling it, and I think he might have PTSD.” I shrug. “Or maybe he doesn’t, but that’s the point. He needs to be assessed by a professional who can determine his condition and prescribe a treatment plan. If we continue like this, everything will fall apart, and we can’t let that happen because there are too many people relying on us.”
“You’re right,” Beck says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “And we’ll support you.”
“Agreed.” Maddox says.
“Me too,” Coop sheepishly admits, his remorse filtering through our connection.
“Don’t feel guilty, Coop. You were defending me and that’s admirable. But Dane needs someone in his corner too because he’s drowning in self-loathing.”
“What do you propose?” Maddox asks.
“I know where he is and I’m going to talk to him.”
“We’ll come,” Maddox says.
“No.” Coop shakes his head. “Let Alinthia go alone. If we all show up, he’ll think we’ve ganged up on him.”
“That’s exactly w
hy I want to go by myself. I’ll keep my shields down so you can listen if you want. If I need any help, I’ll call for you.”
“Okay. Where is he?”
“At this dive bar the next town over.” My supersight doesn’t work as well as Dane’s yet, so I can’t actually see him in there, but that’s where the bond is leading me, and I trust in it. When I get there, if I don’t sense him, I won’t go inside. Simple as.
Coop frowns. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
I smirk. “Seriously? You think I can’t hold my own?” Flames dance atop my palms. “I’ll fireball anyone who dares breathe on me. How about that?”
He pulls me into a hard kiss. “You’re so sexy when you turn all badass.”
I roll my eyes, smoothing a hand down over my shirt. “Only you would get turned on by that.”
“It’s not only him,” Maddox adds, winking.
“It gets me going too,” Beck admits, and we all gawk at him.
“What?” He prods his finger in the air. “You don’t own the monopoly on flirting around here.”
“Little brother’s all grown up,” Coop teases, grabbing Beck into a headlock.
“Good luck with those two,” I joke, kissing Maddox briefly.
“Let us know if you need us,” he says, pulling my face back to him for another kiss. “And if he acts like he did yesterday morning you turn around and come home.”
“I’ll be fine. Catch you later.”
I lower to the ground around the corner from the bar, walking the last few feet so no one sees me and freaks out. I haven’t ventured outside Eaton Lake since my identity was revealed, so I’m prepared for a hostile reception.
The bond tingles as I draw close to the building, confirming Dane’s inside. I scan the paint peeling the walls and broken sign hanging by a thread over the building with trepidation, as I step foot inside.
The room is covered in a layer of smoke that clogs my throat and stings my eyes. Loud music blasts from a jukebox in the corner. Battered, circular wooden tables and matching chairs fill most of the floor space with every spare seat occupied. A long, narrow bar is propped against the wall on the right-hand side, and I gravitate toward it.
It doesn’t take long to locate Dane, and my stomach drops to my toes as I take in the scene. He’s sitting on a stool at the bar, his elbows propped up on the counter, with a line of empty bottles and shot glasses cluttering the space in front of him. But it’s the cheap brunette, in the short leather skirt, fishnet stockings, and bra top, draped all over him that drives the final stake through my heart.
I stop on the spot, unable to make my feet move as the worst pain rips through my heart. Intense pressure settles on my chest, and it feels like I’ve been repeatedly punched in the gut. I’m winded, gasping for air, struggling to breathe over the lump clogging my throat.
That bitch is running her hands through his hair, and even though he pays her zero attention, it does nothing to ease my pain.
His spine stiffens, and I know he’s just sensed me. Removing her hands, he spins around on his stool to face me. About ten feet separate us, but it might as well be an entire ocean. His expression gives nothing away, and it’s like looking into a never-ending abyss. His eyes are empty, soulless, and his apathy levels another blow to my self-confidence. My lower lip wobbles as the girl frowns, glancing between Dane and me with narrowed eyes.
“Go home, Tori,” Dane slurs, staring blankly at me through red-rimmed bloodshot eyes.
Swallowing my pride and the messy ball of emotion clogging my throat, I shake my head, remembering why I came here. “Not without you.” I hate how weak I sound but I’m unable to disguise my fragile emotional state.
“I’m not going home with you.” He wraps his arm around the brunette’s waist. “Just leave me alone.”
Somehow, I force my legs to move, but they’re as fragile as my heart, and I walk toward him on shaking limbs. “Please, Dane. Don’t do this. This will ruin everything.” My voice trembles, and I can’t even look at that bitch because I’m terrified I’ll zap her into nothing.
“He doesn’t want you,” she purrs, circling her arms around his neck and pushing her tits into his chest. She’s so busy shooting daggers at me she doesn’t notice him flinching, but I do.
“If you do this. If you stay here, with her, we’re done. I mean it.” I pin him with a loaded look. “I’ve had enough.”
“Good for you.” Dane downs a shot and then another one. “Why are you still here?” he questions when he’s finished, arching a brow and staring at me with that impassive mask he wears. I want to slap it off his face, and beat him bloody, until I’ve knocked some sense into his thick skull. “Get lost, Tori. I’m busy.”
He pulls the girl onto his lap, and I’m officially done. Cracks splinter all over my heart, ripping it into shreds, and tears prick the back of my eyes. The lump in my throat is so painful it feels like I’m physically choking, and my chest is heaving as hidden sobs build and build up to a crescendo. I know I’ve only got seconds to get out of here before I fall apart. I refuse to give that bitch the satisfaction, so I turn on my heel and race out of there with tears streaming down my face.
Pain lances me from all sides, and it’s like every part of my body is taking hit after hit, blow after blow. Wracking sobs tear from my throat, and the pain slicing through my chest is so intense it feels like I’m dying. Agonized howls rip through the air as I throw my shields up, blocking the guys out even as they’re imploring me to tell them exactly where I am. I stumble away from the bar on shaky legs, and I’m so upset I can’t summon the strength to superspeed or fly. I’m racked with pain, and when the skies open, sending torrential rainfall spilling to the ground below, it’s as if the universe agrees. My tears mingle with the rain as I amble along the quiet country road with my heart splintering in my chest. Once the floodgates open, I can’t stop them, and I slump to the ground at the side of the road, sobbing and shaking and hurting so bad I wonder if I’ll ever recover from this.
Months of rejection and pain resurface, taunting me even further, and I scream from the pit of my lungs, raging at Dane and this horrible world we exist in. A world that has broken him and broken me. Tears continue to leak out of my eyes as I scream and scream, and the urge to slam my head into a wall, or pound my fists until they bleed, is almost overwhelming. I’m consumed with so much pain and rage and I need a physical release.
I scramble to my feet, running along the middle of the road, sobbing, with rain soaking my clothes and plastering my hair to my face. I can’t see properly but I don’t care. I just want to keep running, to feel the burning sensation in my legs as I push my limbs to breaking point; to match the pain pummeling my heart from the inside out. To put as much distance between me and Dane as I can.
I can’t believe he’s done this to me. How much does he think I can take? And what have I ever done to deserve this? All I’ve ever tried to do is get close to him. I love him. I used to think, deep down, hidden behind that dark, protective exterior, he loved me too. But you don’t treat the girl you love like this.
I’m ambushed from the side as the shrill sound of brakes screeching tickles my eardrums. Dane grips my arms tight as we crash through the fence, sliding across the muddy field until we come to a halt in the middle of the space. He’s heavy on top of me, and all my pent-up anger bubbles to the surface. “Get the fuck off me!” I roar, shoving at his shoulders and scooting back at the same time. Mud sloshes all around me as rain continues to pelt us from above.
“What the fuck was that?” he roars.
“Fuck off and leave me alone.” I climb to my feet, falling several times in the mud, sobbing in frustration and pain and the worst form of heartache I’ve ever endured. Breaking Jensen’s heart almost killed me, but this is on a whole new level of pain.
“You could’ve died or been seriously injured!” he yells, grabbing onto my elbow and pulling me back. He loses his footing, and we both go down. Mud flies into my eyes and
splatters my hair, and I furiously swipe at my face with the sleeve of my shirt.
“What the hell are you talking about? And why the fuck do you even care?”
“You didn’t even see that truck! It was about to run you down.”
“So?” In this moment, death is almost welcome.
“So?” he yells, gripping my face tight. “What the fuck do you mean, so?”
“Go to hell, Dane.” I slap at his chest. “Go back to your whore. It’s obvious you’d rather be with her than me.”
He laughs, and something snaps inside me. I pound on his chest with my fists, pushing him flat on his back and straddling him as I unleash all my fury on his body. I slap and punch and scratch him, screaming and crying as my fists lash out in a violent rage I have no control over.
“Stop!” Grabbing my wrists, he flips us around so I’m underneath him. The muddy field is cold under my back, but I barely feel it with the heat rolling off Dane’s body in waves.
“She means nothing, and I didn’t kiss her or touch her. I didn’t even want company, but she wouldn’t fucking go away.”
I kick him in the stomach and crawl away from him. “You’re a fucking liar!” I hiss. “You put your arm around her waist and pulled her onto your lap!” I screech, struggling to my feet. “News flash! That was touching her.”
“You know what I meant. I didn’t touch her any place that mattered.” He stands, shrugging like it’s no biggie, and it’s another sucker punch in the gut.
“It. Matters. To. Me.” My chest heaves, and a shuddering breath leaves my lips, as tears cascade down my cheeks. “You won’t let me get within five feet of you without freaking, but you let some slut in a sleazy bar feel you up?” I swipe at the angry, hot tears running down my face. “How could you do that to me?” I croak, and a loud sob travels up my throat. He hangs his head, but he doesn’t say anything. “How would you feel if you saw other guys touching me like that?” I’m not sure why I blurt that because Dane has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t give a shit about me.
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