Feeling as though I were coming apart at the seams, I couldn’t process what he was saying.
“Please, Audrey. Can you go?”
I stood on numb legs and walked back to the picnic, loading a plate with several kinds of pie. I sat next to Valerie, needing her near. I took a bite of pie, swallowing down the sadness, and let myself hope that it would just take some time for us to find our new normal.
“That’s a lot of pie,” Valerie said, leaning over to inspect my plate.
“Don’t judge my pie,” I said, shoving in a big bite of coconut cream.
“Are you okay? I saw you walk off with Keaton.”
“We talked.”
A commotion on the other side of the food table interrupted our whispered conversation. All heads swiveled that direction. Adam Jones stood beside Rick Hall and several bigger, older guys. What was Adam doing with them? He was only a freshman. Adam’s brother Clay was the one yelling, his face red and his fists clenched as he got in Rick’s face.
Rick crossed his arms over his chest and stood like a tree trunk, smirking as if the yelling were amusing to him. Clay grabbed Adam’s arm, and Adam jerked away, which made Rick look even more pleased.
I held my breath when I saw Johnny and his other friend Graham approach the scene. Johnny, hands calmly at his side, said something I couldn’t hear, and Rick laughed. Adam scowled, but walked away. Johnny and Graham followed, and Johnny did not look happy.
Chatter erupted around me as people discussed the drama—it seemed to me that some people wished someone had thrown a punch—but my eyes followed Johnny. He broke off from his friends and walked to a tree and sat in the shade under it, beside his mother.
“That boy has always been far too aggressive,” Keaton’s mom said, her voice dripping with disgust.
“Which boy?” I asked, a seed of anger sprouting in me. If she said anyone other than Rick Hall, I didn’t know what I’d do.
“All of them, frankly.” She waved her hand dismissively. “But did you hear the way Clayton Jones was shouting? And don’t get me started on Johnny Bright.”
“Oh, I don’t know that I’d call either of them aggressive,” my dad said. “Johnny was always a sweet little kid.”
I looked at Dad in surprise. Did he know Johnny very well? Dad never talked about his patients except in vague terms, so I knew it was useless to ask. It didn’t escape my attention that Mama sat silently, staring at her lap. She hated confrontations and drama.
Dianne wasn’t phased. “Well, I wonder what all the yelling was about.” She craned her neck trying to spot them again.
It was then that Keaton returned. “Guys like that are always yelling about something,” he said. “Or vandalizing something or hurting someone.”
I silently fumed, clenching and unclenching my hands. I realized Keaton probably didn’t think very highly of Johnny after the night of our kiss, and he was upset right now, but still. He didn’t even know Johnny.
I stared around at my friends and family. Valerie wouldn’t meet my eyes. How had they all interpreted the scene in such a different way from me? Suddenly I couldn’t stay silent anymore. I didn’t see the point. “Johnny clearly de-escalated that situation. He was looking out for Clay, who was looking out for Adam. It’s Rick who was the problem.”
Dianne looked at me in surprise. “Well, yes, Rick Hall is certainly part of the problem.” The rest of the group went silent. I could feel their eyes on me.
Ruby, glancing between her mother and me and likely feeling the tension, said, “I think Mom only meant that a picnic isn’t the proper place for a fight.”
“Passionate emotions don’t care if they’re at a picnic,” Aunt Glory remarked, and I felt her hand land on my shoulder. “Who wants more pie?”
I looked at Glory gratefully before standing and walking off. I hit the sidewalk and headed toward home. What had gotten into me? They were probably talking about me right now, wondering what was wrong with poor, crazy Audrey. My hands were shaking and my heart was thumping in my chest. It was ridiculous. I’d barely said anything, so why was I so upset?
I breathed a sigh of relief when I turned at the next intersection, glad I was out of everyone’s line of sight, when I felt Johnny’s presence at my elbow.
Chapter 12
Johnny
I fell into step beside Audrey, taking in her flushed cheeks and crossed arms. She’d fled the picnic like a shot, so I gave my mother a quick word and went after her. “You want company?”
Her face held in an angry glare, she said in a stiff voice, “Sure.”
She continued to storm up the street so quickly we were almost jogging. “Where are we headed?”
“I’m going home.”
She was clearly upset about something. The color drained from my face as I realized she probably saw that confrontation with Rick. “Listen, I didn’t hit Rick, and I wouldn’t have. Even if he threw a punch my plan was to grab my boys and walk away. I swear, Audrey, I wasn’t going to fight.”
“I know.”
Her arms were still crossed and she looked determinedly forward, stalking up the street. “You know?”
“Yes. I couldn’t hear what you said, but I saw, and you handled it well.”
“Then what happened? Did that jerk Keaton do something?”
She stopped then and glared at me. “There you go, doing the same thing they did—judging someone when you don’t know him.”
I held my hands up in surrender. “Okay, I get it. Keaton’s off-limits.”
“Exactly. I don’t want you to talk badly about him.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
She looked at me skeptically. “Are you going to do everything I ask you to?”
I grinned. “Probably. You make good points.”
She studied me a moment, as if trying to figure me out, then continued walking, but at a slower pace this time. “I told Keaton I don’t have feelings for him. It’s over. I probably just lost one of my best friends. And then they were saying things about Clay, and I don’t know him very well, but I’ve always thought he was nice, and then they dragged you into it, and I don’t know. It’s been a crazy afternoon. I just want to go home.”
I clenched my jaw. I didn’t like the idea of her defending me to her family.
“Johnny?”
I didn’t look at her. Couldn’t.
“What is it?” she asked.
I took a slow breath. When I decided I was going to try, that I wanted to be a part of Audrey’s life and have her be a part of mine, I promised myself I’d always be honest with her. I’d try my best to be open and tell her what I was thinking. I’d earn her trust and treat her with respect. These things, and many others, were things my mom had taught me throughout my life. She found ways to weave them into the conversation, mostly when she cut my hair or when she drove me to school. I’d had girlfriends before. But I’d never done it right. I wasn’t going to screw this up.
I met her eyes. “Your family doesn’t like me.”
Her mouth popped open and she put a hand on my forearm. “No, Johnny. No. It wasn’t them saying things about you and Clay. It was Keaton’s mom.”
I was glad for that, but I couldn’t think about much other than her hand on my arm. She seemed to realize it at the same time, and she jerked her hand away. The blush rose on her cheeks, and I made a fist so I wouldn’t reach out to touch her.
We walked a few more blocks and all too soon we were at her house. It was a beautiful white two-story with a huge front porch and light gray shutters. There were flowers blooming everywhere, and a huge shade tree in the corner of the yard. I’d walked past this house a million times, never imagining I’d be here with Audrey.
She walked to the front porch, turning back when she realized I wasn’t following. I stood at the end of her driveway, unsure what I should do. I could not mess this up.
“Well, come on. Sit with me,” she said, her head tilted adorably to the side. Lord, she was beautiful. I wanted
to put my hands in her long, blonde hair and stare into those big, gorgeous eyes. I wanted...I cleared my throat to stop that line of thinking. “Your family isn’t home,” I said.
“That’s okay, come sit on the porch with me. I owe you some lemonade.”
I took a few steps forward, keeping my eyes on hers while I crossed the lawn. When I reached her, I shook my head. “We’re not keeping score, Audrey. I don’t do that.”
“Oh.” She clasped her hands together nervously.
I smiled. “I’m not thirsty, but I’d like to sit and talk with you, if you’re sure it’s okay.”
“Okay,” she said, but she didn’t make a move to sit.
I walked around her and sat on the porch swing, leaving the decision of whether or not she sat beside me up to her.
She glanced toward the two wicker chairs next to the swing, and then to the empty space beside me in the swing. I rested my elbow on the armrest, and fiddled with the chain, acting like her choice didn’t make a difference to me.
She bit her lip and approached the swing. She sat gingerly next to me, taking care that we weren’t touching. For a moment we were both silent. The air around us grew thick, swirling with the tension this closeness created. My heart thumped in my chest, faster and faster. Electric heat invaded me, consumed me. God, we weren’t even touching.
I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, and when our eyes met, she froze, holding her breath. She felt it, too. She had to be feeling it.
I needed to slow this down, to ease into it, or else I could picture her jumping off this swing and running away. I stretched my leg out in front of me and pushed against the porch, swinging us lightly.
“You’re sure you don’t want a drink?”
“No, thanks.”
She sat back, relaxing the slightest bit. “What was going on between Clay and Rick?” she asked.
“Rick’s testing Clay’s brother Adam.”
“Testing him? What does that mean?”
I ran a hand down my face. I didn’t want to tell her this. I didn’t want her to know it. I wanted to be honest, though. I took my time thinking of the right way to say it. “Rick’s into some bad stuff. I don’t want to give you details, but suffice it to say it’s criminal stuff. He’s acting like he’s Adam’s new best friend, and easing him into bigger crimes by having him commit small crimes here and there. Adam’s falling for it, seems to want to be involved in it, and Clay doesn’t know what to do. I’m trying to help him out, but I don’t know if I’m making a difference.”
“Wow,” she said. “That’s...I didn’t know stuff like that went on in Alden.”
“I know that sounds bad, but it’s small time stuff. Really my life is pretty boring. I go to work. Mom and I take turns cooking. I hang out with my friends. And I try to keep Adam from getting in trouble.”
“And you walk upset girls home from upsetting picnics.”
He smiled. “Yeah. Just this one girl, though.”
We swung in silence for a while as I worked up the courage to ask what I wanted to know. “So you told Keaton it’s over?”
She tensed. “Yes. And I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me.” She turned toward me. “You know the worst part, though?”
I nodded.
“I’m relieved. He’s hurting, and I feel utterly and completely relieved.”
“That can’t be the worst part, because that’s a good thing. It means you did the right thing—you listened to your gut.”
Her mouth pulled up in a small smile. “You sound like my Aunt Glory.
“Is that good or bad?”
“It’s good.”
“Hey, Keaton will come around. It might take a little time, but he won’t throw your friendship out over this.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because, Audrey, I’ve been trying to figure out how to get to know you for years now. I’ll take whatever I can get, and I’m sure Keaton’s the same.”
Her eyes widened in surprise and searched mine. She scooted slightly farther away on the swing.
I’d gone too far, given her too much too soon. I needed to reel it in. “So how do you like working at Meadowlark?”
We talked about our jobs for a while, and our families. I didn’t have much to say on that last account, as it was only Mom and me, but she seemed to like my stories of our traditions. I tried to memorize everything she told me about her sisters and her parents, and her Aunt Glory and cousin Tyler. Talking about them seemed to relax her, so I kept asking question after question.
As the shadow of the house moved across the grass, I pulled out my phone to check the time. “I bet the picnic’s about over. I better go before your family gets home.”
She looked at me in surprise. “Why? It’s okay that you’re here, Johnny. It really is.”
I stood. I did not agree. If her parents saw me here, with her, after what had happened at the picnic, it would not make a good impression. “Maybe some other time.”
“Does that mean you’ll be back?”
I held her gaze. “Whenever you’ll let me.”
She blinked at me, her mouth slightly parted. I wanted to kiss that surprise right off her face, but put it out of my mind. It was far too soon for that. Plus, I didn’t want any of our kisses associated with Keaton in any way, so today was not the day. “Will you be at the fireworks tonight?” I asked.
“Yeah. You?”
I nodded, having decided right then that I was going.
The words hung in the air, neither of us quite sure, or quite brave enough to say, what it meant.
“Thank you for walking me home,” she said. “I’m sorry you’ll have to walk all the way back to the park for your motorcycle.”
I waited until she looked right in my eyes. “It was worth it.”
I walked around the perimeter of the crowd, scanning for Audrey. It was already dark, and the fireworks would be starting any minute. Families sat on blankets, kids ran around, and babies napped in strollers. As soon as the fireworks started, the kids would be still and the babies would wake.
I caught sight of Dr. Sparrow talking with an older woman. I looked to his left, and sure enough, Audrey and the rest of her family sat on a blanket on the hillside. My nerves settled at having laid eyes on her.
I thought about approaching, but I still didn’t know how her family would react. I wished I could walk straight over and sit down beside her, joining her family like it was as natural as breathing, like the whole town already knew I belonged with them. With Audrey. But it wouldn’t be like that. People would talk. People would say things to her parents. Her parents could forbid her to see me. Her sisters might not like me. She mentioned they worry about her. “More than they need to,” she’d said, and I’d understood it to mean they weren’t sure about her talking to me. So I stayed at the back of the park, behind everyone else.
As if she could feel my gaze, she turned slowly toward me. She whispered something to Valerie, then stood and walked straight toward me.
I startled. I hadn’t expected her to do that. I looked around, seeing who was nearby that might notice. But I was alone in this section of the park, the nearest group was a dozen feet in front of me. Before I had a chance to settle my racing heart, Audrey stood in front of me, glowing in her white dress, with a huge smile on her face.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hey.”
“You came.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I said I would.”
“Do you always come to the fireworks, Johnny?” There was a teasing glint in her eyes.
“Not since I was a kid.”
“What made you decide to come tonight?” She grinned up at me. “Anything in particular?”
She was flirting with me. Actually flirting, and it made me want to howl at the moon in the clear sky above us.
The opening fireworks shot through the dark, casting red and blue light on her face. “They’re starting,” she said, and turned so she could see better
. She tipped her head up to the sky, not making a move to return to her family. She stood right beside me, as if she didn’t care if anyone in the crowd happened to turn back and see us. As if she belonged there.
As she watched explosion after explosion color the sky, I watched her. Her lips were slightly parted, pink and luscious. Her eyes were wide, her long lashes casting a shadow on her cheeks every time the sparks lit the sky. Longing filled my gut, and restless energy coursed through me
“Isn’t this beautiful?” she asked, glancing my way.
“Yes.”
She held my eyes for a moment, before turning back to the sky. The grand finale burst across the blackness, causing me to squint and making my ears go numb. In the silence that followed, I heard someone say, “Where’s Audrey?”
She looked at me. “Come say hi to my family?”
My chest felt tight. I should meet them. That would be the noble thing to do. But I didn’t want them to end what was between us before it even started. I couldn’t do it. Not yet. I didn’t know if I could handle them telling her I wasn’t good enough. It was cowardly, and it made me ashamed of myself. So ashamed, I couldn’t come up with any words. I shook my head.
She tipped her head to the side, but she offered me a small smile. “Okay. Bye, Johnny.”
As she strode off to her family, her skirt swishing around her thighs, I could still feel the booming of the fireworks echoing in my chest.
Chapter 13
Audrey
I felt like a wilted leaf, hot and pitiful and droopy, as I walked home from Ruby and Keaton’s house. Keaton hadn’t been there, and I’d only gone because he was at work. It had been good to spend the day with Ruby. I’d wanted the chance to talk to her alone and tell her that Keaton and I weren’t going to be together.
It turned out that Keaton had already told his family. Ruby seemed to know that it wasn’t just Keaton’s heart that was broken, that it hurt me, too. Though she lamented that we’d never be “real” sisters, she comforted me and almost had me believing everything would be okay by the time I left.
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