He smiled to himself as he hurried back upstairs, stacked his weapon bags and gun cases in the closet, and then unpacked his toiletries from his bag. Luckily her parents and Chelsea had been all kinds of helpful, directing him how to find this place and being very supportive of him staying with her to protect her from her ex.
His gut churned. That loser had no rights to Mary. It made him wonder why a beautiful, accomplished sweetheart would ever fall for a jerk like that in the first place.
He pushed those thoughts away as he grabbed clean clothes and his toiletries before walking out onto the landing. He didn’t usually shower twice a day, but Mary had him all stirred up and hopefully a shower would calm him down so he could sleep. The other option was a second workout of the day. Unfortunately, he hadn’t seen any kind of weight-lifting equipment. He’d go a bit nuts without his daily workout. Nobody wanted him any level of nuts. He’d have to do what he could, running outside and figuring out some adaptations. At least he could do pushups, burpees, and maybe pullups on the interesting modern staircase that was open front and back. He could hold on to a stair from the backside and hopefully angle so he didn’t hit his head on the stairs above.
Walking out of his bedroom door, he saw that Mary’s bedroom door was slightly cracked and the bathroom door was shut tight with a light underneath it. He piled his clothes and products on a small side table in the loft then rested his shoulder against the doorjamb of her bedroom door. No reason not to have another interaction with her. After dinner back in Vail, he would’ve told you he was going to get a kiss, but it hadn’t happened. Blake had derailed his plans, but Nick was good at adaptation. Mary was a shade off with him right now. That was understandable with a manipulative, cheating ex showing up and now the two of them alone in a cabin. Maybe he should reassure her that he’d stuck to the Christian morals of his youth and would never risk being too physical with her, but a kiss definitely wasn’t out of line.
The door opened, warm light and a beautiful woman spilled out of the bathroom. Mary glimpsed him and cried out. She put a hand over her mouth and cussed him, “Don’t scare me like that.”
“Sorry.” He straightened and started toward her, fighting a smile. “I could kiss you better.”
Mary froze, maybe shocked by his abrupt manner. He eased in close, his heart thumping quicker and quicker. It was finally their time. His and Mary’s. Forget the stupid ex. Forget that he’d spent so many years trying to convince her they were just friends. Forget that he was a headcase still healing from PTSD. He wanted Mary, and he wanted her now.
He stopped right in front of her. Close enough to reach out and pull her in, but he wouldn’t force her.
“Always with the teasing,” she said.
He cocked his head to the side and lost his smile. “I’m not teasing,” he insisted.
Mary put her hand on his chest, right over his heart. The simple touch of her hand had his heart going even faster. He inched closer. This was happening. Right now.
“Remember at our graduation party? You kept teasing me about kissing you that night too.”
Nick’s stomach filled with ice as he remembered. “Yeah, and then I saw you kissing Jared Maughan.”
She pulled a face then giggled. “Gross. Jared Maughan kissed me. I definitely did not instigate or encourage that one.”
“Really?” That was good news. That had bugged him throughout the years. Jared was a nice guy but a straight-laced bore. He hoped that wasn’t Mary’s type. Nick wanted to be Mary’s only type.
“Thanks for being my friend,” Mary said. “And thanks for being here.”
Friend? He’d always claimed they were friends, but he wanted to move onto something more now, substantially more.
Mary went onto tiptoes and softly kissed his cheek. The warmth and sensual softness of her lips shot desire and happiness through him. He sucked in a breath and fought to keep his equilibrium. How would her lips on his feel if the mere press of them against his cheek could have him reeling like this?
She looked up at him, so beautiful, innocent, and appealing. Nick moistened his lips, trying to think clearly. He wanted to express this right, tell her exactly how he felt about her. He needed to be even more direct than what he’d said at her bedroom door a few hours ago. Yet maybe he should forget words right now and just go for a thorough kiss.
Mary fell back on her heels, her eyes shuttered. She slipped to the side and around him to her room. “Goodnight, Nick,” she said softly before she shut the door.
Nick stood there, staring at the closed door. He usually thought of himself as having decent reaction time. How had he completely failed on that one? He should’ve grabbed her and kissed her while he had the chance. Yet she’d shut the door, said goodnight. He’d messed up what could’ve been the perfect opportunity.
Gathering his clothes and toiletries he headed for the shower. The only comfort he could find was that they would be alone for a few days at least. Somehow, someway, he was going to tell her how he felt, and if she returned it, he’d kiss her long and hard.
Mary paced her room as she listened to the shower going then listened to the bathroom door open and close, and then Nick’s bedroom door open and close. She’d been so brave, reaching up and kissing him on the cheek. Nick had surprised and disappointed her. He hadn’t given her any of his appealing looks or smiles. He’d stared at her with wide eyes, as if she’d grown two heads, and hadn’t said anything or reached for her or fulfilled any of her dreams.
Dang it. Why had he come after her to this remote cabin if he didn’t want her? She could see why hearing about how idiotic she’d been to fall for Blake would’ve made him not interested in her anymore. Why was he staying then? Just his inherent protective qualities? Dang it, again.
She finally forced herself to climb under the covers. The mattress, pillow, and sheets were all nice and clean, but she couldn’t settle down. She tossed and turned. She punched the pillow, flipped it over, tried to pray, and tried to meditate. There was no sleep coming tonight. It was after one a.m. when she heard a loud, piercing yell of, “No!”
Mary jumped, clinging to the sheets and blankets for supposed protection. Was that Nick?
“No!” The yell came again.
Mary scrambled out of bed and padded across the wood floor. She cracked her door, eased across the space and waited next to Nick’s closed door. The dim nightlights gave her enough of a glow to see. If she heard the yell again, she was going in.
“No … not Jax …” This time it was more of a low groan than a scream.
Mary pushed on the door handle and swung it wide. She could just make out Nick’s large frame filling the double bed. He was too big for that bed. She should’ve insisted he sleep in the master. He twisted in the bed and moaned out, “Not Treven ... No!”
The scream ripped through Mary. It was unnerving. She was more than tempted to shut the door and hide back under her covers, pray his nightmare stopped and they both could get some sleep.
She couldn’t leave him like this. Tiptoeing toward him, she reached the bed just as he thrashed and yelled, “Lo-gan!”
She jumped, but then she quickly sat on the bed and grabbed his shoulders. “Nick,” she spoke sharply, shaking him. “Wake up.”
Nick jerked up. She released him and scooted back. His chest was glistening with sweat, and he was panting for air. Tears traced down his rugged cheeks. His eyes traveled over her face then he murmured, “Mary?”
“It’s me. You were having a nightmare.”
He nodded shortly and scooted back against the headboard, away from her. His eyes hooded and he folded his arms across his broad chest. The muscles in his arms, shoulders, and chest popped. There was some scarring she could see on his right side, even in the dim light, but it only added to his appeal. She would’ve thought he was the most attractive man she’d ever seen … if he hadn’t just moved away from her. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected when waking him up. She’d done it to stop the nightmare for
him, but maybe in the back of her mind she’d hoped for a hug or at least a thank you.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked bravely. Very bravely considering how standoffish and cold he was acting.
“No,” he said shortly. He didn’t smile. He didn’t give her any kind of encouragement. It was as if a stranger had taken over Nick’s body who didn’t even know her, and she was intruding on his private moment.
“Okay,” she drew out.
She stood and backed away, unable for some reason to pull her gaze from his well-built body and stern face. Nick’s face was never stern. He was happy and awesome. Even though he hadn’t grabbed her and kissed her earlier tonight like she wanted, she thought he cared about her, wanted to be around her.
When his expression didn’t change, except maybe to harden further, she whirled and hurried out of his room, slamming the door behind her. She rushed into her room and crumpled onto the bed. That had gone … horribly. Maybe him not kissing her earlier, after she’d so bravely kissed his cheek, was the signal he was trying to send. He was only here to protect her. Maybe Nick wasn’t interested in her, at all.
Chapter Eight
Nick didn’t sleep much the rest of the night. He never did after the nightmare that put everything back in horrific perspective for him. He called himself all kinds of names for treating Mary like that. She’d lit up the room when she’d come in and all he’d wanted to do was bury himself in her arms and let her heal him.
Yet he couldn’t. She’d seen the nasty scars on his chest, shoulder, and upper arm and had obviously heard him screaming out in his sleep for his buddies, probably had noticed the tears on his face. He couldn’t be wussy enough to break down and ask her to hold him and share all of his secrets.
Holding her sounded like heaven, but the rest gave him cold sweats worse than his nightmares did. He hadn’t even shared with his own mother what had happened to give him the scars. He’d lost three of his closest friends. The scars were a stark reminder of how he’d failed them, failed their families. Jax had a beautiful wife and a baby boy he’d never met, never would meet. Treven was a bigger jokester than Nick; he missed him.
And Logan … he passed a hand over his face. Logan was the baby of the group. He was just fresh out of college, passed his training to be a Ranger and assigned to their squad when Isaac had retired. Nick could still remember seeing the kid Skyping his family. Logan had a big family like Nick. He’d watched them saying goodbye on Christmas, unable to tear his eyes away as it reminded him so much of his own family. He’d heard the tears in Logan’s voice as he said a prayer over his family, and then told his mama how much he loved her. The thing that really got him was when Logan’s older brother had hugged the silently-weeping mom tight and told Logan, “Don’t worry, bro, I got her. I’ll give her an extra hug for you this time, just get home to us safe so you can hug her soon.”
Nick and the only other survivor Chris had gone to see each of the families after they’d both recovered and been shipped back to the states. Logan’s family had about ripped Nick apart. They each took turns hugging him, telling Nick how Logan had admired and loved him, telling him “thank you” over and over again for being a great friend to Logan, for coming to see them, for his own service to their country. He loved those people. And he’d failed to bring their son home to them. How would his mama have survived if he’d been the one to die? He couldn’t let himself think about it.
Passing a hand over his face, he wiped the humiliating wetness away. He was certain he’d never in his life shed a tear for anything but allergies before that explosion. Now he found himself crying through the night after he had the nightmare, praying no one would find him and see how weak and messed up he was. He couldn’t have shared any of this with Mary. She’d know he was certifiably insane. He laughed harshly at himself. He was, had the certificate and everything. What kind of talented and smart woman would want to be with someone who was broken like him? It was probably good the nightmare had come tonight and reminded him he needed to keep his distance from Mary. Protect her from her ex? No, he needed to protect her from the darkness inside of him.
The sky was lightening outside. Nick forced himself out of bed and dug some workout clothes and running shoes out of his bag. He’d go for a run then do a workout with whatever he could use inside and outside of the cabin. By the time Mary woke up he’d have breakfast started and a smile back on his face. He’d watch out for her until the ex either went away or Nick could scare him away; he’d have fun being around her and pretend all was well. It was clearer than ever that he shouldn’t try for a relationship with her or lead her on by kissing her and telling her how much he cared. Thank heavens their kisses had been near misses, and she hadn’t been behind her bedroom door at her parents’ house when he’d spilled his guts. It wasn’t right to saddle someone incredible like Mary with someone messed up like him. He’d just have to learn to live with that truth.
Mary awoke to the sun shining through the windows and a loud crack followed by a thump sound. She grabbed the extra pillow and put it over her face, wishing she could just stay in bed. She had no clue what time she’d drifted off last night, but the way her forehead ached she was certain it had been really late in the night or really early this morning.
The rhythmic crack-thump continued. She slid out of bed, stretching, and edged to the window. Looking out she could see Nick across the yard next to the forest. His shirt was off and his broad back was to the window. He was chopping through a huge pile of wood. As he lifted the wood onto the flat stump, and then raised his ax to chop, she watched. She found her forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window, drinking in the sight of the sculpted muscles in his back. The smooth skin moved over the incredible display of muscle. His naturally-tanned skin glistened, sparkling with the morning sun.
Mary let herself watch, and drool, for a few seconds then she rushed to throw on a Lululemon t-shirt and shorts, Smartwool socks, and Brooks running shoes, brush her teeth in the next-door bathroom, and then race down the stairs and outside. Nick had been off with her last night, but what did she expect after he’d had an obviously disturbing nightmare. She simply wanted to be close to him this morning.
She thought he heard her approaching, but he kept whacking new logs. He bent to pick up another untouched log, she stepped closer and murmured, “Nick.”
He whirled around, clinging to the ax. He probably should’ve looked threatening to her, so strong and holding the ax in a menacing position. Most people would probably be backing up right now. Mary could never be afraid of him. She stepped closer, her eyes tracing over his abdomen, chest, shoulders, and arms in the bright light of morning. He was glorious.
He slowly lowered then released the ax, breathing quickly and staring at her. He didn’t say anything as she approached and reached out to him. He flinched away before her fingers grazed the scars on his right shoulder.
Forcing an obviously fake smile, he bent down and scooped up his t-shirt. He hurriedly pulled it on, covering up that glorious chest, and then he gave her his devil-may-care grin. “Morning, Mary,” he said all bright and cheery.
“Don’t you ‘morning, Mary’ me,” she threw at him. “Why are you covering up?”
His smile stayed in place, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t need you gawking over me, now do I?” He gave her a broad wink. “I went on a great run on the trails while you slept in. Do you want to do a loop with me?”
“Yeah, I do.” What she really wanted was for him to be honest, be real with her, but that didn’t seem like it was happening this morning.
He inclined his head. They set off at a brisk walk then broke into a jog. The trail was wide enough they could chat, but though Mary had dozens of questions racing through her head about his nightmares, his scars, why he was pretending like nothing was wrong, and if he was ever going to kiss her, she didn’t know how to give voice to any of them casually.
“A little different than running through Bo
ston?” He tilted his head to the thick trees surrounding them, mostly pine and aspen.
“Yeah,” she chuckled. “A bit different, I’m not used to running without a crowd of people around. But we have some great running trails: the Fens, Charles River, even Boston Common if you go early enough to avoid the crowds.”
“You’ll have to give me the tour around Boston sometime,” he said casually.
Mary glanced quickly at him. Was he serious? “You’ve never been?”
“No. East Coast cities aren’t really high on my list of travel destinations. Boston only had one thing I wanted to see the past seven years.”
Mary’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t mean …
“Red Sox games,” he said with a teasing twinkle in his eyes.
Mary was tempted to shove him. She laughed instead, sensing it wasn’t the time to push him for answers. “They are pretty great. Is this a little different than running in … Afghanistan?”
“Yeah.” His eyes darkened and a storm started brewing there. He quickly pasted on his smile again and said, “So, we hide from the ex for the next few days, he gets bored and leaves, you go back to your family and life as usual?”
Mary shrugged. She didn’t want life as usual. She wanted him. “Hopefully.”
“Unless you want to go back home sooner. I can just pummel the guy then he’ll crawl back to Boston like the worm he is.” He flashed her his appealing grin.
Mary smiled. “I usually don’t condone violence but you pummeling Blake would be fun to watch.”
He arched his eyebrows and jumped over a fallen log. Mary focused on where her feet were falling. They were going at a good pace, and she was conditioned to run at sea level. Her breathing was becoming more and more labored. Nick didn’t seem affected, at all. He had been back in Colorado longer than her, and it was obvious he was in perfect shape.
The Strong Family Romance Collection Page 83