They sat there in silence for a while. Mary prayed Blake would fall asleep, or leave. Nick shifted on the wood floor and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “You okay?” he asked.
“Of course, I have you.”
He stiffened against her, and she caught a breath. “I don’t have you?” she whispered. She couldn’t hear Blake unless he yelled, so she hoped he couldn’t hear them.
Nick blew out a breath but didn’t say anything.
“Nick,” she murmured. “I’ve made it pretty obvious how much I want to be with you. Please … if you care for me at all, please talk to me. Tell me why you think we can’t be together.” She didn’t like the way she’d put that. What if she was giving him an excuse to not be together?
Chapter Thirteen
Nick was scared, terrified, but it had nothing to do with Mary’s crazy ex having an automatic weapon and a seemingly unending supply of bullets. Nick briefly wondered if the man had run out of bullets, if that’s why he’d paused for so long, but he didn’t feel like the timing was right for him to make a move. He’d had an ability in the Army to know when to act: when to fall back, when to advance, when to stay put. The only time it had failed him was when they drove over an IED and it tore through the unarmored belly of the Humvee Jax was driving. That’s why he’d been so angry at the Lord. He’d closed His heavenly assistance the moment Nick had needed it the most. But now his intuition was back. He wasn’t going to waste time analyzing right now, but he did mutter an internal prayer of thanks.
This situation reminded him of being pinned down in a cave in Afghanistan with his men. He’d known exactly how long to wait and they, somewhat patiently, waited for over twenty hours. When they moved, the Taliban had mostly drifted off to sleep and Nick and his squad had been able to blaze a path to safety with only minor injuries.
At the same time this situation had nothing in common to that cave. He hadn’t been holding the beautiful woman of his dreams in that cave, and though his men’s safety had been his top priority, just like Mary’s was now, his men had their own weapons and were every bit as well trained as he was.
Right now his instinct was saying to stay put, but he really wished he could be in the action. He’d rather face down ten men with guns than talk through with Mary why they shouldn’t be together. The thought of hurting her was worse than even the fear of sharing too much, though both fears were pretty huge.
He shifted again, the pain in his hamstring wasn’t anything compared to the burning on his face, shoulder, chest, and arm that had never seemed to ease in the days following the explosion, but his leg still hurt. The bullet was definitely lodged in his femur. Mary’s soft weight settled more firmly against him, effectively distracting him from his wound and the worries of keeping her safe.
He loved everything about this woman, if only he could believe he was worthy of her. Maybe being on speaking terms with God again could help. It could be the key. Nick wanted to heal, deal with the nightmare without coming unglued inside for days. He wished he could be ready to take on the world like he used to be, have some kind of purpose that would make him a man who could stand by Mary Coulter’s side. Today had been much different than the usual day after the nightmare. Because of this incredible woman.
“It’s okay, Nick.” She looked up at him with her dark eyes, so trusting and kind and open. “If you can’t share … it’s okay.”
Nick could feel what it cost her to give him this out. She wanted to be with him. She cared for him. Those gifts were huge to him, no matter that he felt he should tell her to run from him. She might do just that if he revealed all the heavy guilt and anguish inside of him.
He stroked her back, liking seeing her in his too-big t-shirt. “I …” He cleared his throat and tried again. “I want to share with you.”
She gave him a tremulous smile. Her eyes were shining at him. He hoped she wouldn’t cry. A crying Mary might break him in two.
He studied the wall and started talking while he waited for a prompting from above that it was time to take out her ex.
He quietly told her all about his squad and how they’d grown to trust each other, become a brotherhood. Jax, Chris, Treven, and Logan. He shared some of their experiences together, no mission details, but some of the ways they’d fought free and even bragged a little bit about the different kudos they’d received as a squad. Mary responded, encouraged, laughed, and smiled as he talked. He realized he should’ve been more worried about the shooter outside the door or maybe taking action since the guy had gone so quiet, but he still felt prompted to wait, and sharing all of this with Mary was more therapeutic than anything he’d done.
When he got to the story of a routine perimeter check in a Hummer gone so wrong, he tried to simply relay the facts but found himself choked up. He wasn’t humiliated by sharing his weakness, instead he was strengthened. Thanks to Mary. She softly murmured her understanding, and stayed close, as he slowly made it through the story, finishing sharing about Jax’s little one and Logan’s family being so understanding and reminding him of his own.
As he finished talking, all was quiet. Night was falling outside but all was still around him, even his fears. Maybe the Lord hadn’t given up on him, no matter how bitter Nick had been.
“Thank you for sharing with me,” Mary said. So simple, so understated, but he felt her words clear through. It had meant the world to her that he’d shared.
“You should feel very special,” he murmured. “I’ve officially shared more with you than anyone, including my therapist.”
Mary tilted her head, but he couldn’t see her very clearly in the darkening gloom. “You haven’t told your mom or Gavin?”
Nick shook his head shortly. “I’ve been putting on a pretty good happy front since I got home.”
“Do they believe it?”
He laughed shortly. “I doubt it. But you know how patient those two are. They’d wait until doomsday before forcing anything out of me.”
“You have an amazing family.”
He swallowed hard. She was right. He had the best family. He used to tell Mama everything before Papa’s accident, then Mama had been incredibly busy and Nick transferred that trust to his oldest brother. Gavin was a pretty serious guy and a great listener. The only advice Nick had ever hated from his brother was him cautioning Nick to not pursue Mary in high school.
Nick appreciated the weight of Mary in his arms now. Maybe everything they’d gone through would make the wait all the sweeter. Maybe it would all work out, if he could let his pain go and fully trust in the Lord again.
“You’re a naturally happy person,” she stated.
Nick considered that. “Yeah, I always have been but life kind of takes the happy out of you. Lately, I’ve been hiding behind the happy.”
“You think we could find your natural happiness again … the two of us?” Mary’s voice was quiet, almost timid.
Nick considered that. If anyone made him happy, it was Mary.
Suddenly a strong impression came over him.
“Mary,” he whispered.
“Yes?” She glanced up at him, so beautiful, so trusting.
Nick pushed her down to the floor and commanded, “Don’t move.”
He scrambled for his assault rifle just as a renewed volley of bullets slammed into the door and his temporary barricade. Glancing back at Mary, he saw she was staring up at him. He nodded to her. “It’ll be okay.”
Bullets ripped through the mattress and the box springs, some going over the dresser and hitting the wall. Nick hefted his rifle, comforted with the rightness of the familiar weapon in his hands.
He turned back to Mary and nudged the Glock toward her. “If I don’t make it, shoot him with that.”
“What?” Her eyes widened and she started to sit up.
“Stay down,” Nick said. “It’ll be fine. Just, last resort. The safety’s off. Just point and pull the trigger.” He gave her a cocky grin. “Don’t worry. I’ll make it.”
&nb
sp; With that he edged to the side of the dresser. Maybe he should’ve made his move sooner. The man must’ve gone for bullets during the quiet lull when Nick had poured his heart out to Mary. He couldn’t find it in him to regret it or to doubt the Lord’s inspiration right now. Mary was a healing balm for him. He’d protect her … no matter what.
Mary could hardly catch a breath her heart was racing so fast. Bullet after bullet slammed through the door, and it sounded like the mattress and box springs were shredded as the bullets were now hitting regularly and with more velocity into the dresser and the wall above them. Nick was to the edge of the dresser now, and she was terrified that he was going to throw himself out there in the middle of all those bullets. If he didn’t make it … she couldn’t let herself think about those horrible words or she might jump up and beg Blake to take her to protect Nick.
The window behind Mary shattered from a bullet. Glass shards fell to the floor and splattered against her legs. She cowered on the floor, feeling the bite of glass on the back of her neck, arms, and legs.
She heard the mattress and box springs crash back against the bed frame and the shattered door fling open. Glancing up, she saw Nick dodge around the end of the dresser.
“No!” Mary screamed.
It seemed the number of bullets doubled for a horrifically-long, drawn out moment, she heard a muffled thud, and then silence. The quiet was almost more unnerving than the bullets had been. She prayed with everything in her that it was Blake who had thudded. She heard something that sounded like metal skidding across wood.
When another beat passed without any reassurance from Nick, she eased across the floor getting stabbed by pieces of glass. Grabbing the pistol he’d left for her with trembling fingers, she felt a little bit of reassurance, but she didn’t care if Blake hurt her. All that mattered was Nick being okay.
Mary said another prayer then stood on shaky legs. She thought that might be the result of all the fear and worry as much as the wound to her calf. Nick’s broad back filled the doorway. She couldn’t see Blake. Relief rushed through her.
“Nick,” she breathed. Dropping the gun, she hurried through the destroyed room. Pieces of mattress, sheetrock, wood, and insulation littered the floor. There were hundreds of holes in the wall.
Nick turned and gave her a confident smile, his large gun held loosely in his hands. She felt wobbly as she hurried toward him.
Suddenly a hand darted up, grabbing for Nick’s gun.
“Nick!” Mary screamed a warning.
Nick ripped his gun from Blake’s hand and jabbed the butt of it against his forehead. Blake sagged back onto the floor and didn’t move.
Mary gasped for air, horror rolling in waves over her. She reached the doorway. Nick gripped his gun in his right hand as he turned to her. Blake was definitely out.
“Well, I guess that settles the question of if he’s dead or not.”
Mary held back a sob. She stared down at Blake’s crumpled form. There was blood coming from wounds on his arm, stomach, and leg. His forehead was bright red from Nick smacking it with the gun. Blake’s gun was at the other edge of the loft. Nick must have kicked it away when he reached him. Mary felt sick. She couldn’t believe she’d ever thought she loved Blake. How could he be this insane? Shooting up the house? Trying to kill her and Nick?
She wrapped both arms around Nick’s waist and leaned her head on his chest. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
He encircled her with his left arm. “Always.” He winked cockily at her. “Do you feel up to driving to cell service and calling the police?” He glanced down at Blake without much emotion on his face. “I don’t want you alone with this loser if he wakes up again, and sadly, I should put some pressure on his wounds so he doesn’t bleed out. Humanity and all of that.”
She swallowed hard. She would’ve preferred staying close to Nick but she respected that he wouldn’t let Blake die, and she really appreciated him not asking her to stay in the cabin alone with Blake.
“Of course,” she answered brightly. “Where are the keys?”
Nick ushered her back into the room, as if he didn’t want to leave her close to Blake. He fished the keys out of the pocket of his pants and handed them to her. Giving her a quick hug, he helped her over Blake’s body and said, “Thanks, Mare. Be careful.”
Mary nodded. There was so much she wanted to say. They hadn’t come close to finishing their conversation, and all she wanted was to hold him close and kiss him a lot more. Yet she felt like he was distancing himself from her again, putting on his confident smile and shutting everyone out. Including her.
She couldn’t do anything about it right now, and it was probably just that he was being professional and focusing on what needed to get done. She couldn’t be the needy woman, especially at this moment.
They needed the police and an ambulance for Blake and also for both of them. She gave him a brave smile and walked slowly to the stairs, favoring her left leg. If only she could stay and make sure everything was okay with her and Nick.
Chapter Fourteen
The next few hours passed in a blur to Nick. The police and ambulance came. He and Mary were taken to the hospital in Glenwood Springs. He wished he could see her, but they had to put him under to operate on his leg. Apparently the bullet had lodged in his femur, ripping through his quadricep muscle. He would be on crutches for a while.
When he came to, he was in a dimly lit hospital room. It must’ve been early morning as there was no light coming through the shades. He saw a shape in an easy chair by the wall. It looked like a woman’s shape.
“Mare?” he croaked out.
The woman straightened and stood. “Nick?”
Nick bit down his disappointment. Cassie. Not Mary. He hadn’t had a chance to finish his conversation with her, and he found that he wanted to. He still needed to muddle so many things out in his mind, what to do with his life, if he could be worthy of Mary, how to rebuild his trust in the Lord, but he selfishly wanted her by his side.
Cassie walked to his side, hiding a yawn. “Can I get you anything?”
Of course that was her first question. Cassie had spent her adult life helping children, and she was such a natural nurturer.
“Water,” he managed.
“Ice chips?” She smiled and held up the cup.
Nick reached for them, grateful his arms were cooperating. His lower body still felt numb. He dropped the spoon on the table and threw the cup up to his face. Chunks of ice slammed against his lips. He shook the cup to break up the mass and was able to get a mouthful. Sucking on the ice cooled his mouth and felt like heaven sliding down his throat. For some reason all the awful memories of waking up in that hospital on the base were prodding at him. He said a prayer for help, and then was able to shove that emptiness and darkness away. It was in the past, he wanted to heal from it. No, he wanted to be done with it.
“Where’s Mary?” he asked in not quite as croaky of a voice.
Cassie smiled softly. “She got her wound stitched up and cleaned, kissed her parents and Chelsea, told them to go home, and has been waiting with Mama and I through the night.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost four a.m.”
“Where are Mama and Mary?”
“Mama was so upset. I wonder if this brought back all the feelings of you being injured before and her not able to be there.”
Nick nodded. He didn’t understand why he felt so guilty about that. There’d been no reason for his family to come when he’d been fine, just needed his skin to heal, and it wasn’t like Mama could leave Papa anyway.
“Who’s with Papa and the kids?”
“Jed, and Gavin and Kari are flying home.”
“This is no big deal,” he said. He’d cut his brother’s honeymoon trip short? Granted it’d been almost two weeks now but Gavin deserved some stress-free happiness.
“You’re a big deal to us.”
Nick could only give her a tentative smile.
/> Cassie smoothed the blanket. “Anyway, Mama was a bit out of control. The doctor finally forced her to take a sedative. She’s sleeping in the waiting room.”
That made him feel horrible. His mama had been so upset that they’d had to medicate her. “And Mary?”
“I think all the stress and the pain pills they gave her knocked her out too.” She pointed.
Nick arched up and could see in the corner of the room a body curled around a blanket on the floor. “Mary.” He smiled. She was here. She’d probably hurt worse from sleeping on the hospital floor than she would from the gunshot wound.
He turned back to Cassie who was watching him closely. “You and Mary?” she guessed.
Nick shrugged. He didn’t want to give his sister false hope, but he was filled with it. He wanted to be worthy of that beautiful, kind, light-filled, and accomplished woman.
Cassie raised her eyebrows. “You’ve loved her your whole life. What are you waiting for?”
Nick blinked at her. “Perceptive, aren’t you?”
Cassie smiled. “Yes, I am.” She stepped closer. “What’s wrong, bro?”
“I’m trying but I still … worry I’m not worthy of her.” There. He’d said it.
Cassie’s eyes narrowed and she looked much more like her feisty twin sister, Ella, than her usually mild-mannered self. “Worthy of her? What kind of crap is that? You’re one of the best men I know. Any woman would be thrilled to be with you.”
Nick appreciated the sentiment. “You have to say that stuff, you’re my sister.”
Cassie leaned closer to him and Nick couldn’t believe how fierce she looked. “I’ve learned a thing or two on my missions, and I know that you’re amazing.”
Nick had to look away. “Thanks,” he mumbled.
Cassie didn’t say anything.
Nick finally lifted his gaze to hers. She was watching him steadily. He felt like she was his pastor, and it was time to spill all of his sins. Cassie kind of had that ability to pull crap out that you didn’t want anybody to see.
The Strong Family Romance Collection Page 87