by Kate Stewart
“It seems bad now, endless even, but when it’s over, you’ll realize it was worth fighting for.” Tabitha lifted her head from the textbook, and they both regarded me curiously.
“Do you think you’ll ever go back?” Tabitha shyly questioned. I suppressed a groan. How did we go from talking about high school math to my love life?
“Why? You tired of us already?” I joked to avoid answering.
“Having you here is awesome. It’s just so obvious you’re in love with my cousin. Why would you leave him?”
I had their attention as they waited for my reason. Saying I didn’t love him was an easy lie when the truth was so complicated. “I left Angel because love is war… and we both lost.”
Caylen crawled from my lap when he was done eating and headed straight for the decorated tree in the corner. We were a week away from Christmas, and my excitement was nonexistent. Stability was the one thing I wanted to give to Caylen this year. The Garretts had been nothing but welcoming, but I never let myself forget this was temporary.
When Caylen started to pull the ornaments off the tree, I took him upstairs for his bath. “One of these days,” I said as I washed his hair, “you and I are going to be just fine.”
He responded by splashing the water and laughing outrageously when suds caked my cheeks and hair. After his bath, I read to him one of the books Michelle loaned me until he fell asleep. Downstairs, Anna was packing to leave as Tim waited by the door, dressed in his uniform for his shift. Michelle usually picked her up from the city and Tim would take her back. It was humbling how much they have done for me and how little they asked in return. I haven’t known this kind of warmth since my mother died. It often made me envious of Tabitha.
Anna hugged me on her way to the door. “I’ll see you in a few days, but call me if anything weird happens.”
I pulled back with a frown. “Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I just have a feeling. But it’s not a bad one,” she rushed to assure when my frown deepened.
I promised to call her and settled on the couch to finally watch the scary movie Tabitha’s been bugging me about. She was too afraid to watch it alone, and Anna flat out refused, so that left me. Always the lamb and never the butcher.
I wasn’t able to concentrate on the move, however, because Anna’s words kept ringing in my head. It brought back the fear that returning to the estate was inevitable. No one had ever expected Angel to stay away this long. Tim had already assured me that I wouldn’t be going anywhere I didn’t want to, but accepting his promise meant putting them at risk. I could never do that.
Anger burned in my gut.
How could Angel ever expect me to call the estate my home? It would always be a prison.
I went to bed afraid for tomorrow, and it was all because of a feeling.
Augustine had been right.
Running didn’t make me free.
I didn’t get much sleep thinking about it, and the next morning I cried in the shower. I hadn’t allowed myself to cry since Angel flat out told me I couldn’t take care of myself.
My tears had dried, and I was toweling off when I heard heavy footsteps. Tabitha was at school, hopefully passing her geometry test, and Michelle and Tim were both at work. I didn’t allow myself time to consider who it might be. I rushed out of the bathroom and to the spare bedroom where Caylen and I slept. I locked the door and snatched the lamp from the nightstand while Caylen was busy pulling off his socks. Of course, the Garretts would be robbed while I was home alone.
I could hear the footsteps on the stairs now. They weren’t even trying to be quiet as they reached the landing. When I heard the knock on my door a moment later, my arm lowered as I stared at the door. The spare bedroom was at the end of the hall, which means the burglar had come straight to my room. Did they know I was here? Why would a burglar bother knocking?
“Princess?”
My legs threatened to give out when I recognized Z’s voice. I rushed to the door and unlocked it to find both Lucas and Z standing on the other side. They were both dressed in gray suits, Lucas’s a slightly darker shade than Z’s.
“What are you two doing here?” I screamed.
Z’s grin broadened while Lucas’s frown deepened. “We’re here to pick you up.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you. How did you even get in here?”
Lucas snorted. “Really?” he questioned cockily. I forget that their criminal talents stretched so wide that picking a simple lock was child’s play. After all, I’d done it myself.
And now, here I am, I reminded myself with a twinge of bitterness.
“Sorry, princess. It’s not really an option.” They muscled their way into the bedroom. Caylen clapped excitedly when he saw them and lifted his arms like the little traitor he was. Lucas was the first to grab and hold him while Z tickled him. His happy squeals made me forget momentarily that these men were loyal to Angel first.
“We’ll be downstairs while you get dressed.” I was ready to feign agreement and call Tim as soon as they were out of the room until I realized they were leaving with Caylen.
“Ten minutes, princess. We can’t be late.”
“Where are you taking us?”
“That’s for you to see.”
“Dress warm. It’s nippy!” Z called as Lucas shut the door. I quickly dressed in jeans and a red blouse. They were dressed in suits, which meant we weren’t exactly taking a walk in the park. I grabbed clothes for Caylen before heading downstairs and finding them in the kitchen helping themselves to the Garretts food.
“Seriously?”
Z was dipping celery in a jar of peanut butter. How could they just break into someone’s home, terrorize their guests, and eat their food?
“I know,” he grumbled. “Normally, I wouldn’t eat celery, but they don’t have any apples.”
“Unbelievable,” I muttered as I dressed Caylen. Lucas helped himself to one of Tabitha’s blueberry pop tarts. I’d make sure to tell her exactly who the culprit was when she found one missing. That girl does not play about her blueberry pop tarts.
We left a few minutes later, and I grew nervous when we reached the city. I began to think I’d never see this place again. It didn’t exactly hold fond memories for me, but it did remind me of a time when I was free. I suppose I should take some responsibility for this new course my life had taken.
I hadn’t just looked back into the past. I’d stepped into it.
Chapter 26
ANGEL
I MISSED HER. I missed the hell out of her. And the worst part of all was keeping the promise that I’d stay the fuck away. I fingered her wedding ring in my pocket and tried to focus on the barrage of questions.
“Mr. Knight, it’s been three years since your father’s death. No one can ignore the obvious delay in your confession.”
My lawyer took a healthy swig of his water as he scribbled furiously on his legal pad. He played his part as the nervous lawyer well, though he had vehemently disagreed with my plan. The prosecutor also played his part. Getting District Attorney Patrick Turner, who had been in my pocket for years, to convince a judge to reopen my father’s murder case had been easy. Turner was more than willing to help me prove my guilt since he’d been trying to get out from under my thumb. As a last resort, if I couldn’t convince the court, I’d found Milly’s substitute from that night and paid her handsomely to testify that I’d threatened her. She’d truly believed Theo had killed Art, but money worked wonders.
“What are you asking?”
“The court would like to know, why now?”
I was ready to answer when the courtroom doors opened, and Lucas slipped inside. His absence this morning had been puzzling, but when he shifted, revealing the reason, my fist balled in my pants pocket. She looked confused as she walked through the door carrying Caylen. Z walked in behind them, and they all found a seat in the front row. It wasn’t until Mian started to lower herself on the wooden bench
that she noticed me. It seemed as if her legs had given out when she finally sat.
Lucas might have thought bringing her here would make me change my mind, but it only made me more determined. She may not know how to fill the hole in her heart, but I did. It wasn’t a change of heart that led me here. It was a change in the rhythm. It now beat for her.
With my eyes drinking in Mian, possibly for the last time, I spoke into the mic.
Chapter 27
MIAN
“For three years, my mom lived in guilt because of the choice I had made. She wanted to be punished—to be judged by the law and by God. I wouldn't let her. Four months ago, she went missing, and I don’t know if she’s dead, but I'm hoping the truth will either bring her home or bring her peace.”
I was grateful no one was paying attention to me. I couldn’t have hidden my confusion if I had been the one on the stand. Bea had spent the last moments of her life tied to a chair and forced to hear in detail about her husband’s infidelity—forced to remember why she’d killed him. The memory of her blood oozing from the sound of her head was still too vivid.
I tore my attention from Angel to lock gazes with Lucas. His eyes warned me to stay calm, but how could I?
Bea wasn’t missing.
She had been murdered.
And they had discarded her for no one to ever find. My stomach turned while my heart wept for her. It wept for Mom, and even for Art and Alon.
Death wasn’t just inevitable. It was endless.
“I was taught by my father to protect my mother at any cost. I knew that night I’d already lost her, but I chose to hold onto her and sent an innocent man to prison.”
My breath caught in my throat. I could feel my heart beating hard and fast against my chest.
“And that innocent man is Theodore Ross?” The man questioning Angel gestured toward the table on the right. I gasped when I noticed my father sitting at the table. He was hunched over, his hand covering his eyes, and it looked as if he were taking deep breaths.
“Yes.”
What was Angel doing?
I couldn’t grasp what was happening. Why was Angel on the stand admitting that he had framed my father for murder? Didn’t he understand the consequences?
I wanted my father back, but was I willing to sacrifice Angel for him?
I started to rise, to call out to him, to stop him, but Z grabbed my hand, keeping me in my seat.
“So, you’re saying your reason for coming forward is simply for moral liberation? You don’t stand to gain from your confession?”
“I’m saying the rest my life has been summed up to one choice.” Our eyes locked, though my vision of him through my tears had blurred.
“And I’ve made it.”
He chose me.
Chapter 28
MIAN
Three years later…
“I hate group projects,” I muttered to myself. I’d logged on to check my school email and found a thread of new emails from three of my classmates who I had been assigned to work with. We have to create an interactive media design for the website of an international technology conglomerate that didn’t exist. At the end of the semester, we would have to then rebrand the company with a better design. Each project was worth twenty percent of our grade and my teammates were already bickering non-stop on whose idea was better.
Each of their ideas was good, and I saw no reason why we couldn’t incorporate them all, so I sent them an email with a proposal. I knew I wouldn’t have to wait long for their explosion, but I logged out of my email anyway and headed for the door.
I was already late.
Ten minutes later, I pulled up behind the other long line of cars at the curb and waited. I made it on time with a few minutes to spare thanks to my road rage, so I checked my email. My classmates were surprisingly on board with my proposal for the website. I sent a quick response to their questions and input and logged back off.
The school doors opened moments later, and the small class of preschoolers ran out to meet their parents and nannies. I hopped out of my SUV. I wanted a white Mustang with double black stripes and blacked out rims, but my father insisted I get the four-door tank because it was safer. I met Caylen at the rear door as he ran up the sidewalk.
“Hi, Mommy!”
“Hey, buddy. Have a good day?”
“Yes, but I sort of got in trouble.” I paused from helping him into the booster seat.
“Say what?”
“Uncle Augustine said something about butts, so I told Miss Caroline, but she got mad.”
I groaned knowing exactly the kind of jokes Augustine liked to tell despite his audience. “Was it supposed to be funny?”
“How should I know? I didn’t get it.”
My phone rang as I finished buckling him in. “We’re going to have a talk when we get home,” I warned which earned me a loud sigh. I hid my smile as I answered the phone.
“What’s up?”
“I’m starting to think I’d be happier as a full-time barista,” Anna groaned. “Seriously, if I play my cards right, I could be manager one day.” Anna currently worked as a part-time barista at one of the campus coffee shops while she was studying Biology.
“You’re not going to quit school, Anna, so if you’re looking for encouragement, then you should have tried your luck with Tabitha.”
She snorted over the line. “I called her first actually. I just knew for sure I’d get her to talk me into quitting, but she called me a trooper and hung up.”
“You are a trooper. You’ve just started your third year. Before you know it, you’ll be able to practice medicine. Your dreams are bigger than your woes. Remember that. ”
“You do realize that I have at least eight more years before that happens, right?”
“Jesus, Anna, when did you become such a pessimist?”
“Day one of organic chem.” She giggled.
I laughed because buried underneath all that bitterness was the lighthearted Anna. We never spoke of it, but I suspected most of her unhappiness wasn’t because of school.
It was a broken heart.
A year and a half ago Lucas and Anna decided to give a relationship a try. It had been going well until six months later when Z left Chicago after tracking down his mother. No one could believe she had been alive after all this time. When he left, he wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Lucas, where he was going, but he’d kept in contact.
Until one day, the phone calls suddenly stopped.
Anna would never say more than it just didn’t work out, but somehow, I suspected Z’s disappearance had caused their relationship to spiral down until she finally ended it. Now she could barely look at him, and Lucas never spoke a word to her.
Everyone had the same unspoken fear that Z was dead, but it was Lucas who kept searching.
Anna had never gotten over losing Lucas even though she was the one who left him. She spent half her time excelling at school and the other half complaining about it. Happiness eluded her. Or maybe not just her.
It seemed none of us was destined for a fairy-tale ending.
For three years, I fought to let go of Angel, but no amount of pretending could exorcise him from my head.
With his confession, he exchanged one prison for another, and I never learned how he made it possible. Whenever I asked Lucas, Z, or Augustine for details, they’d only say it was better I heard it from Angel. So for three years, I had been left with the feeling that taking my father’s place in prison hadn’t been Angel’s only sacrifice.
“Mian? Mian? Are you even listening?”
“I’m sorry, Anna. I spaced out for a moment. What did you say?”
“I said I just got a text from Tabitha. She wants you to call her. Now.”
I DIDN’T CALL Tabitha until much later that night after I put Caylen to bed. I made a promise to myself when life started to look up that he’d never be my second choice. It was because of that promise that I had nine missed calls and ten messages from Tab
itha, Augustine, Anna, and my father. I phoned Tabitha first since she was likely the reason for all the panic.
“Tabitha, what’s up?”
“What’s up? I’ll tell you what’s not up.” I moved the phone away from my ear before she blew my hearing and turned the volume down. “I sick of my parents keeping secrets from me. I’m nineteen, for crying out loud, but they treat me like I’m twelve.”
“Tabitha? Can you get to the point?” I didn’t want to throw in her face that she was lucky to have parents who put her best interest first. It was something she had to realize on her own.
“Angel’s not in prison anymore.” My legs gave out, and I sunk to the floor. I kept the phone tight to my ear as I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes tight. “He’s been out for three months now. My parents and that cretin cousin of mine were keeping it a secret.”
“Wait.” My eyes opened, and I stared out the window. “Augustine knew?”
“It would appear so.”
“So… where is he?” I hoped I didn’t sound too interested, but he is my husband. The marriage didn’t have a legal leg to stand on, but I couldn’t risk sending my father back to prison by asking for an annulment. When Michelle informed me there would be a hearing before a divorce was granted, I knew I couldn’t risk seeing him again either. So I took the coward’s way and continued to live as Mrs. Angel Knight.
“My parents claim they don’t know, and Augustine wouldn’t tell me when I grilled him.”
I sighed and told myself not to make this a big deal. Angel’s impending release had been keeping me awake at night lately, but clearly, there was nothing to worry about. He’d been free for months, and he hadn’t bothered to pay a visit to his wife.
And why should he?
There was nothing for him here. He gave it up on that stand three years ago. He gave me up for me.