“God, yes, when I ran into you and you touched my chest. Something ignited inside me. I had made myself forget, I think, pushed it away because it was so intense. I’d told myself that what I thought was our incredible chemistry, how we understood each other and how nothing ever stacked up to how I felt about you and what I felt when I was inside you—I lied to myself. I couldn’t have lived my life if I believed it was this good.”
He bore me down onto my back on the couch cushions and ran his hands up my thighs, gripping one thigh in his big hand and hooking it over his shoulder. He trailed his fingers between the tender folds of my sex, “Baby, you’re so wet. Oh, God, I’ve wanted this for so long. Hold on to me. I’ll try to be gentle, but hold onto me, baby. I’m going to go deep.”
“Yes!” I said. “Please, Drew, please fill me up. I’ve been so empty without you, please, baby.” I babbled, my hands in his hair, his mouth coming down over mine. He worked my lips apart and kissed me, his fingers going between my legs and fondling me, stretching me, making me ready for him. He couldn’t know how long I’ve been ready for him.
He probed the entrance of my sex with the wet head of his cock. He eased in, hitched my knee up over his shoulder higher and rocked into me in one slow, deep thrust. He was in me so deep, so thick and long, filling me so much I felt like I couldn’t swallow. Gasping, I clawed at his shoulder, tugged at his hair. Our eyes met, and I knew I was falling for him all over again, into those midnight eyes. I bit down on my lip to keep from saying that I loved him then.
Take it, wring every second of pleasure you can from this, but don’t think it’s more than that, more than a bonus night with an ex. Just because when he fucks you it feels like love, doesn’t mean it is, I lectured myself, or tried to. The words kept shearing off in shivers of sensation as his heavy thrusts tunneled into my body. I watched his cock going into me, his big brown hands on my hips, my breasts, then working between my legs right above where we were joined.
How did it feel this good? How could anything feel this physically perfect without actually killing me? It was blinding, icy ecstasy, spearing me in half as I rocked my hips, taking more and more of that long, perfect cock until my back arched with an electrical shock of pleasure building. I bucked, clung to his shoulders, our eyes on each other. It was so vulnerable, so connected deep down, body and soul.
“Andrew,” I gasped, saying his full name, which I only ever said when we were fucking.
“Chel, Chel, hold on—“ he said hoarsely, his thrusts building harder and deeper, the slick sound of our bodies crashing together making a filthy soundtrack to the wild sensations.
His lips brushed over mine, desperate, clumsy with the force of his thrusts, of our rhythm as we rocked together, building the pleasure higher and higher until I knew damn well neither one of us was breathing. It was killing me, a knife of pure pleasure low in my back and between my legs, and then his hips rolling with his cock buried inside me, hitting places so secret, so powerful that I sobbed when my release began to uncoil through me like a live wire lashing through my body.
Drew went rigid in my arms, his hips jerking into me, his cock impaling me so deeply I could feel his sac rubbing against my pussy. I screamed in pleasure as he cupped my face in his hand, held me even as I felt his climax detonate inside me. I caught the pad of his thumb in my lips as he bucked into me, as my body drank up the liquid heat he poured out. My hands flattened on his spine, as if I could hold him together under the onslaught of his orgasm that threatened to destroy us both. I was keening, high and breathless, with the force of it and the reaction I had to it. My pussy clenched tightly around him as shudders of fierce, teeth grinding pleasure held me in their grip.
When at last we were spent, he rolled onto his side and scooped me into his arms. I felt the wetness on my thighs where he had come so lavishly inside me. I felt decadent, debauched and lewd and satisfied. He dropped soft pecks on my lips, kissing my face and cradling me to him.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, his voice low and careful.
“No,” I said emphatically, “you were perfect. Just how I remember only—"
“Only better and worse at the same time,” he said ruefully, “better because I know how special this is with you, and worse because we’ve been apart so long and I hate myself for it.”
“Don’t,” I said softly, “don’t.”
“Don’t you hate me for it?” he asked.
“It’s complicated. Yes and no,” I said. “Just hold me. Please.”
“There’s nothing I’d rather do,” Drew said.
16
Drew
Stretched out naked on the couch in Michelle’s basement, I was holding her in my arms. I couldn’t stop thinking that this was the happiest I’d been in as long as I could remember. It felt perfect. Every second of our bodies being joined felt like home. Everything she said and did just burrowed deeper into me, into my soul. I was elated, joyous. It all felt warm and still and perfect.
Would it be too soon, I wondered, to tell her I’ve loved her all my life? I knew better than to say something like that. Everything had happened so fast. Seeing her at the bar, telling her the truth, chasing her out into the street and kissing her. Now this, sheltering in a storm and giving in to the irresistible attraction between us. It was too much too soon, and I knew how she was wired. Michelle wasn’t a person who liked to be overwhelmed or pressured. So I would have to tell her in some roundabout way that this felt amazing and I’d like to do more of it. In a way that didn’t sound like I was moving in tonight and never letting her go again. If I needed to keep quiet and take it slow, I could do that. I had just bedded my high school sweetheart. I was invincible, and I could do anything.
“Am I imagining this or did we find our old rhythm really easily? Like it was natural?” I ventured.
“That’s how it always was with us. It’s how we fit together. Do you think it’s that way with your first lover, for everyone?”
“I don’t think so. I can’t speak from experience, but if it felt like that the first time, nobody would ever break up with their first love,” I chuckled.
I didn’t miss the look she shot me. The one that said I had dumped her knowing how good it was and that I was an asshole for doing it. If I thought giving her some orgasms would erase my sins, I had been too optimistic. I could wait, I told myself. I could take it slow.
I leaned over and kissed her lower lip, questioning, trying to see if she would kiss me back, if she wanted to go for round two. My body was already stirring again for her. Apparently the refractory period was much shorter when it was with her. I stroked her face with the back of my fingers, trailed them down her neck and to her breast. Her nipple pebbled at my touch. I reached down and lifted her breast, dipped my head and sucked her nipple. I felt her respond. Her arms were around my neck and head, holding my mouth where she wanted it most. I loved this, loved when she let me know what pleased her so I could service her. Part of me wanted her to use me, to ride me and take her own pleasure, and I would revel in anything I could give her. God knew I owed it to her.
“I want you again,” I whispered against her tender skin, nipping lightly with my teeth.
“Oh God, Drew, I can’t. I shouldn’t,” she said, all the while clutching at my hair and grinding on my thigh.
“I won’t tell a soul,” I said. “Tell me your fantasy, what you’ve wanted me to do all these years. I’ll do it. Anything.”
“Anything?” she teased. I pressed my meaty thigh more firmly against her pussy, and she rode it mindlessly for a moment. “You know what I dream about? Fuck me like you used to, when we couldn’t make any noise, nothing between us but shadows,” she said.
I growled at the memory as it ran along my skin and set my teeth on edge. I knew just what she meant. In one movement, I sat up and pulled her up with me. I settled her knees on either side of me, her soft, pale thighs straddling me like the most welcoming thing I’d ever seen. She looped her arms around my neck and
our lips met. It was like fireworks, like the most ferocious and tender union ever, fusing our mouths, our tongues, our very souls. Michelle rose up on her knees. I fondled her breasts, my big hands cupping them and my thumbs rubbing her sensitive nipples. I slid my hands down and gripped her by the hips, guided her down over the iron rod of my erection. I lowered her down the length of me, giving her a moment to adjust to the invasion. I knew I was big, and I didn’t want to give her a moment’s discomfort as she stretched to accommodate me. She shifted one knee a little wider and then sank down on me to the hilt with a sigh of satisfaction like a woman sinking into a warm bath. That sound did something to me, and I rocked against her. Inside of her, raw and slick and real, it was paradise.
In no time, our rhythm was red hot, a slow burn rock and thrust that ground my pelvic bone into her clit in the way that always made her explode so fast way back when. I kissed her lips, guided her back and forth on my cock as she rode me with abandon. We leaned our foreheads together, breathing heavily, and wrapped our arms around each other, fusing our bodies skin on skin, as close as two people could be. There was a powerful intimacy to making love like this—and that’s what it was. It was sexy as hell, but it was romantic kissing and soul gazing, and it moved something deep inside me.
When I felt her responses grow more frantic, as I felt her losing control in my arms, the almost-painful clenching of her pussy around my thrusting shaft giving away her extreme arousal, I covered her mouth with mine. We sealed our lips together, mouths open, tongues warring, trying to fight off the inevitable crisis. I was swallowing her sharp cries as she rocked against me, riding me hard. I loved this part, the keyed up, orgasmic fury of our coupling where we were trying not to scream because we couldn’t wake her father. Those had been the most intense orgasms of my life, the most intimately I was joined to Michelle, taking her very screams of ecstasy into my body to muffle them, protecting her, absorbing her cries just as my climax poured into her and she had to plunge her tongue in my mouth to quiet my roar. Panting, slick with sweat and sticky with sex, we were wrapped around each other, our mouths unwilling to surrender and allow us to be two beings once again. We fought against the forces that kept us apart, the laws that prevented me from pulling her completely inside of me and letting us become one.
I was wracked by a terror all at once, as my tongue stroked in the soft curves of her mouth. I couldn’t possibly lose her again. Not after this. Not after this union, this perfect joining we had just shared.
“It was just like it used to be,” I gasped against her lips. “I won’t make the same mistake twice, I swear. This is too perfect. There’s no denying it.”
Michelle broke the kiss. I hugged her close, but I felt her withdraw from me. Just as I had felt like I was touching her very soul, I knew now that she was separating from me. She wanted to pull back. I loosened my hold on her and she slid off my lap and got up. She picked up her dress and put it back on. I watched her in something like misery. I realized I couldn’t hear the storm anymore, that even the dryer had stopped. She went and got my clothes and gave them to me.
“Thank you,” I said. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said a little stiffly.
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“You just, ended that really suddenly. I know the storm is over but this was a long time coming.” I pulled on my clothes and slicked back my hair that was messy from her hands. Five minutes ago I’d been thrusting my bare cock inside her, and now I felt further away from her than ever. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. “I don’t want you to think this was a moment of weakness or something. I’m not going to backpedal and regret this. I hope you don’t either.”
“I’m fine,” she repeated again.
Again with the two-word answers.
Her phone rang and she grabbed it. I watched her face and heard her say, “Oh my God, no.”
I went to her instinctively and put an arm around her, tucked her against my side. She let me, shaking her head. She hung up. Woodenly, without even looking at me, she said, “I have to get to the library. There’s a lot of damage.”
“Okay. I’m parked behind you. I’ll drive you. Maybe I can help.”
“Okay,” she said.
We went up the stairs. She told me where the guest bathroom as so I could clean up. “I’ll be three minutes,” she said, dashing up to the top floor.
True to her word, she was back, cleaned up and hair pulled back, very quickly. She hurried down the stairs and picked up her purse.
“I’m ready, if you still want to drive me. You don’t have to,” she faltered. She was ninety percent business right now. She was ten percent wobbly and insecure. I could see it in the tremor of her lower lip. I stepped closer and folded her in my arms and kissed the top of her head.
“I’m right here as long as you want me here, Chel.”
“Don’t say stuff like that. Please,” she said, a catch in her voice. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but I knew she needed to concentrate on the library, on whatever damage there was and how to handle it. We got in my truck in the sprinkle of rain that continued. I was surprised when she scooted across and sat beside me. I wanted to put my arm around her, but I didn’t. If she wanted the comfort of my arm against hers and silence, I could give her that. I wanted to push for more. I wanted to promise I’d protect her; I’d fix whatever was wrong. That she didn’t have to worry about a thing. But I’d taken away her choices before. I wouldn’t try to decide anything for her. I could back off, just a little. Even though I was looking at her flushed cheeks, at her lips, bruised from my kisses. After four years together and then eighteen apart, we’d come back together, had fucked twice in as many hours. I wanted more. I wanted all of it. But if I could wait eighteen years I could be patient a little longer.
She had a crisis to face, and I was damn lucky she’d let me be by her side when she faced it.
“Did they say how much damage?” I said, prompting her to open up.
“Major,” she said quietly.
“We’ll be there in just a second,” I said trying to reassure her. Like the woman didn’t know how close the library was to her own house. Real smooth, Drew, I thought ruefully. So comforting. Point out the short distance until we reach the parking lot. That’ll make her feel better. I rolled my eyes at myself. It was awkward, she was distracted about the library, and I kept tripping over myself trying not to say the wrong thing. All I’d done was the wrong thing, all this time, and it seemed crucial that I stop making things worse at this point.
When we pulled in to the parking lot, I could see the extent of the damage instantly. I heard her gasp and when I glanced at her, her mouth had dropped open.
17
Michelle
Part of the roof was completely torn off by the high winds. A massive limb was sticking out of the hole like a dislocated bone. Rain was still falling and it was ruining carpet and wooden shelving and computers and the books. All those books. Everything I’d had to write grants painstakingly to acquire, every scanner and printer and Chromebook I’d requisitioned and argued for, every penny of the budget I’d stretched so carefully to bring in a new Young Adult section—I wanted to burst into tears. I’d curated every title, previewed the interest level by age group, worked to get the library board to agree to expand our e-book offerings.
Honestly, I felt like I’d been shot in the leg. It wasn’t fatal, but it hurt like hell and it would take a long time to recover from this.
Firefighters were there to secure the area and inspect it. I was grateful for their help. Drew was beside me like this silent mountain, this support system I didn’t know I needed. I wanted to turn and walk into his arms and let him cradle me and hold me up. But I had a job to do, and the first part of that was to assess the damage and start documenting for the inevitable insurance adjustor’s visit. I had to start making lists immediately. Contact the mayor and the library board and the city council to infor
m them of damage. Reach out to insurance and start the claim. Find workmen and get bids.
I went up to Damon and thanked him.
“We shut down the electrical supply already. I’ve been in and the damage is pretty extensive. It should be safe to go inside and look around. And I was home when the call came in and Trixie made me bring you these. She said to call her later,” he said, retrieving a pair of rain boots from the fire truck.
“Thank you. I will. I’m a little—freaked out right now so it may be a lot later.”
“I’ll tell her. Take care. Let us know if we can help out.”
“I will. Thanks for everything,” I said to him.
I toed off my shoes and steadied myself on Drew’s arm while I stepped in to the shiny green boots.
“Oh my Lord, these are the Hunter boots Damon got her for her birthday. I can’t get these dirty,” I said.
“She wants you to use them. Plus, they’re rubber boots. It won’t hurt them,” he assured me. I nodded, blinking back tears. My thoughtful friend Trixie sent me one of her favorite things just so I wouldn’t ruin my own shoes going into the library to see how badly it was trashed. I cleared my throat, determined not to cry. I had a job to do.
“Do you need paper and pen? Or do you just want to take pictures first?” he asked. “For the insurance.”
“I—paper and pen would be good if you have it.”
He went back to his truck and returned with a flashlight as well as a legal pad and a pen that said Casey’s Garage on the side.
I unlocked the front door and trained the beam of the flashlight along the floor, assessing. Once we got into the main reference room, I stopped and swept the light across the entire room slowly.
“Shit,” I said.
The carpet was soaked, for one thing. Two of the computers and the copier were sitting in water with collapsed acoustical tiles on top of them where the ceiling had caved in. A large section of shelving along the west wall had dislodged and poured the damaged books onto the floor, shelves hanging lopsided as broken teeth.
Falling in Love: A Secret Baby Romance (Rockford Falls Romance) Page 8