“I think I’m going to be sick,” I said. She handed me a plastic pan and I gagged, my vision going dark as I tried to catch my breath. “I’m pregnant,” I managed to tell the nurse.
The on call doctor checked me briefly and said I was dehydrated. Soon an IV was in my arm and I was getting fluids and an anti nausea medicine. He wrote me a prescription for some of the anti nausea stuff to help with the morning sickness. A quick check on the baby and he told me that everything looked fine.
“You can go home after you finish this bag of fluids. You have to rest for at least the next couple of days. No working or spending time outside in the heat. Drink as much as you can, aim for sixty-four ounces a day of water, decaf tea and sports drinks. If you’re taking the anti-emetic and still getting sick, call your OB and get checked,” he said.
I felt relieved. I swiped a few tears from my face. When the doctor was gone, Drew poked his head in around the curtain of my cubicle.
“Mind if I come in?”
“Sure.”’
“I had to sneak past the registration desk. That woman—I swear, they got her after she was too tough to be a drill sergeant. Kept lecturing me about privacy laws and asking if I was family.”
I smiled weakly.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better. I got overheated and I was dehydrated. I appreciate you bringing me in.”
“Anytime,” he said, “and now you can’t say I never take you anyplace nice.”
“Very funny,” I said.
He sat down on the edge of my bed and took my hand. “You gave me a scare, Chel. You went pale and just dropped. When I caught you, you felt lifeless. I don’t mind telling you it was the worst thing ever. When—when we were apart for years, at least I knew you were okay. You were healthy and safe, even if you weren’t mine. The idea that something could happen to you, something really bad, just hit me so hard when I saw you falling.”
“Thank you for catching me.”
“I wish I could say I’ve always been there to catch you, but we both know that’s not true. You should know I promised God above all kinds of things on the way here if you were just okay.”
“Like what? Are you going to become a monk?” I asked wryly.
“There was a lot of things I offered to do. Give more money to charity. Fix preachers’ cars for free from now on. Quit saying goddammit all the time. Never ask you for anything. If he’d just let you be all right, why, I swore I wouldn’t insist on talking things out with you or try and get you to listen to me. I’d just leave you be and be grateful that you were fine.”
“That’s so sweet,” I said, meaning it. “If you called Trixie, she can take me home when she brings the insurance card. You don’t have to hang around. You’ve done your good deed for the day, Drew.”
“You think I’m gonna walk out of here without you? After you asked me to stay?” He leaned down and kissed my hand that was holding his. “Not on your life.”
The nurse came in with my discharge papers and the prescription for the anti nausea medicine.
“Now, remember, if you don’t feel better after seventy-two hours on this medication, call your doctor. You’re supposed to call in sick to work and rest the next couple of days. Normal activity is fine as long as you stay inside out of the heat and you stay hydrated. And here, I thought you’d like to take a copy of this home.” She smiled at me, and handed me a narrow strip of shiny paper that held a printout of the ultrasound images. I nodded, eyes welling up as I looked at the shadowy oval that was my growing baby.
“Thank you.”
“I’m going to get that IV out now,” she said. In no time she’d removed it and bandaged my hand. “Your friend scanned and emailed a copy of your card so we have everything we need from you. As soon as you’re ready you can go.”
“Thank you,” I repeated and she left.
I ventured a look at Drew. His beautiful dark eyes were laser focused on me.
“You’re pregnant,” he said.
“Yes,” I took a deep breath and steeled myself, “but I’m fine. I’m okay raising the baby on my own.”
“Why the hell would you think you need to do that?”
“Drew, I was there at the diner that night with you and Greg. I heard you talking. You said that marriage and kids were never in the cards for you. That sounded pretty clear and final to me. I have no intention of trapping you or making you feel obligated to be involved in any way,” I said as calmly as I could manage.
I was trying not to go to pieces. It took an effort to pretend I was holding it together while I watched his face change, first angry, then shattered in disbelief, and then a dawning understanding.
“So you heard half a sentence and decided I wasn’t dad material? What I said to Greg was that after I left you, I knew that marriage and a family couldn’t be in the cards for me. Because you’re the only one I ever wanted to do that with. There wasn’t ever anybody else for me but you, Chel.”
“Well shit,” I whispered, trembling all over. Then I started laughing like a crazy person. He looked at me, so concerned, and that made me laugh even harder. “I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I just…” I took a drink of water and made myself sit up. “I love you. I thought you didn’t want me and didn’t want to be a father. I remember you saying you were never scared in your life like you were when we thought I might be pregnant in high school.”
“I take it back,” he said. “When I saw you fall today, when you passed out, I thought I was going to die. I said that. I said it to Damon when he checked you over before I put you in the truck. I said, if anything happens to her I’m gonna die.”
“That’s a little dramatic,” I said.
“When were we ever anything else?” Drew challenged. “I’ve loved you since before I knew what it meant to love anybody. For more than two years, the thing that kept me getting up in the morning and going to school was knowing I’d get to see you and kiss you. Kissing you was the best thing ever invented. I mean I was convinced of that until you turned sixteen and we did more than kiss.”
“Kissing you is still the best thing ever invented,” I said.
“If that’s what you think, then I should do more of it,” he said, and he kissed me softly, sweetly.
“Are you sure?” I said.
“Am I sure? Am I sure that I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen years old or am I sure that finding out you’re pregnant is second only to the day I kissed you on the street and knew you didn’t really hate me for the highlight of my entire life? Are you kidding me? Goddamn, Chel—”
“Um, you weren’t gonna say that anymore,” I teased.
“Damn. Sorry about that. What I’m saying is I love you and I’m sure. If the devil showed up and offered me everything I ever wanted, it would be this. You loving me and wanting to be with me and having our baby.”
“That would be really sweet except for the part about the devil.” I laughed. He laughed with me and then kissed my forehead.
“Come on. I’m taking you home now. Do you want to go to your place or mine?”
“You know my old room? It has a window facing out where the fireworks are going to be. If you want to stay up and watch them with me. It’s about eight now, so in an hour or so, they’ll start. I guess you wouldn’t take me out to watch them from the community center?”
“No way. I heard the doctor’s orders. You’re staying inside and resting. I’m going to make it my job to see that you do.”
“What if I try to get up?” I challenged.
“Then I’ll have to carry you back to bed,” he said archly.
“I’m not on bed rest. Normal activity, remember?” I said peevishly.
“I didn’t say it wouldn’t be active bed rest,” he teased.
“Oh,” I said, color staining my cheeks and a smile playing at my mouth.
“I love you, Chel. And I’m never losing you again.”
There had never been a moment in my life as happy as this one.
Not when I made valedictorian or when I got my dream job as head librarian, not even when Trixie chose me to be Ashton’s godmother. This was another level of joy, a deeply personal bliss that seemed to fill me up with light.
30
Drew
I took her home, and when I went to help her out of the truck, Michelle laughed at me.
“You are not going to treat me like I’m made out of glass for the next eight months.”
“It was the first time, wasn’t it?” I said, wonder in my voice, “during the storm, when we were together in your basement.”
“There’s no way to know for sure, but according to my math, that was probably when it happened,” she said.
“It should be that day. We really listened to each other and I got to let you know how I feel and when you grabbed my arm after the loud clap of thunder, it felt so right. That I should hold you and protect you and that you should turn to me that way. We belong together, and we fit just right.”
She nodded, looking at me with the most beautiful, affectionate expression in her blue eyes. “My all-American girl,” I said, calling her by an old nickname.
“I hated that name. Not as bad as Valedictorian Barbie, but it was close. Like I was just an object. Blonde ponytail and white teeth and blue eyes.” She sighed.
“You’ve always been more than that. Anyone who couldn’t see it was too stupid to appreciate you. I mean, not many people would sit in a smelly, damp library on a plastic tarp going through books about collectible spoons. You’ve got to care about your community to try and save that. I would’ve thrown it in the trash and moved on.”
“No you wouldn’t. You don’t throw things away. I thought for a long time you threw me away, but I was wrong. You’d never do that. You just cut out your own heart to try and protect me,” she said.
I tucked her against my side, arm around her, and we walked up onto the porch and unlocked the door together.
“May I?” I said.
“May you what?” she asked, making a face.
“This,” I said.
I leaned down and slid one arm behind her knees and picked her up in my arms. I carried her inside the house and kicked the door shut.
“It felt like that kind of moment,” I said, half-serious. I wanted to carry her over the threshold, wanted to make it clear to her that my mission in life now was to take care of her and love her. “Plus, I don’t want you climbing the stairs. You just got out of the hospital.”
“Um, I’m pregnant. You can’t drop me.”
“You think I’m gonna drop you?” I asked. “You must think I’m weak.”
“I’ve thought a lot of things about you, Andrew Casey. I’ve thought you were mean and fickle and cruel. But I never once thought you were weak.”
“I’d say thanks but that seems like a really backhanded compliment.”
“You weren’t being cruel. I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. And I cannot believe you’re insisting on carrying me up—”
I stopped on the landing of the antique staircase and kissed her softly on the lips. She responded instantly, her body softening in my arms, her lips nipping at mine. It was such a relief to hold her and kiss her. A well of tenderness in me seemed to rise when I looked at her, and I wanted to treat her with the greatest care. I would be so gentle with her, so patient, and keep her safe. I shut my eyes and kissed her forehead, said a silent prayer of thanks.
Then I opened my eyes and carried her to her bedroom. It was changed, but the canopy bed stood in the same spot as when we’d first lain there together as teenagers, never knowing what was ahead for us as we whispered in the dark, kissing and making promises to each other. I placed her on the bed carefully and stood before her.
“I can never tell you how sorry I am,” I began.
“It’s a surprise pregnancy. They happen all the time. It might be something in the water around here,” she joked.
“You know what I mean. I let you down. It’s only ever been you, and if you’ll have me, I’m yours. For the rest of my life, Chel.”
Michelle put her hands over her face for a moment. She made a sound, a sort of ragged squeak that alarmed me, “Are you okay?”
“I’m better than okay. You just made my whole life.”
“So you might be okay with moving in together? Being the woman I spend my life with and raise our baby together?”
“Yes!” she said, throwing her arms around me. “I’m very okay with that.”
I held her to me, arms wrapped around her and cradled her against me. “Oh, yeah. That’s what I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember.”
“I thought you wanted a Camaro for a long time,” she teased.
“Don’t even joke about that,” I said against her hair. She smelled lightly of coconut sunscreen and I breathed her in. “You’re what I’ve always wanted, and I’m never going to stop trying to deserve the second chance you’ve given me.”
“Who ever said you didn’t deserve a chance?” she reared back and looked at me, her eyes flashing, “I was never the one who thought you weren’t good enough for me. That was you. You are the love of my life. Don’t tell me what you deserve. I’ll fight you if you feel some way about it.”
I kissed her then, playful and fierce and humbled to be hers.
“Then I’ll work on believing that. And we’ll make this night number one of our real life together. Can I get you some pajamas?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Could you help me out of these clothes? I just don’t think I can undress myself tonight,” I purred.
“You are not following doctor’s orders,” he teased.
“What? I’m on the bed,” I held my arms out to demonstrate that I was in fact sitting on my bed. “I’m not outdoors. I’m not lifting heavy things. I feel great. Admittedly not as great as you can make me feel when you put your mind to it.”
“Oh. I see. You’re going to try to convince me to let you exert yourself,” I said slyly. Then I pulled her t-shirt over her head. The swell of her breasts overflowing the lace cups of her lavender bra made me catch my breath. I trailed one finger down her cleavage, dipping into the crease and seeing her chest rise and fall in response. There was wonder in her sky blue eyes, the same innocent eagerness she’d met my kisses with the first Fourth of July we spent together.
I sat beside her on the bed and took her in my arms. First, I pressed my mouth to hers, then I coaxed her lips apart. As she opened for me, a happy sigh escaping her, I slid my tongue in her mouth. It was tender and unhurried, decadent. The firs kiss of the rest of our lives. At the same moment, a boom shook the house. We broke apart and saw the bold flowers of colored light and sparks bloom outside the window and fill the sky. The fireworks had begun.
At once, I was kissing her again, our lips clinging to each other, pressing, tugging and nipping, then sealing our mouths together in the filthy back and forth of our tongues as things grew heated. There was no way to express, my gratitude for having Michelle back in my life for good, and the added joy of our own miracle, the baby we’d welcome in a few months’ time. There was no choice in the matter for me. I would make love to all night, with every bit of the tenderness and wonder I’d felt as a young man with his first love. Now I would take her to bed as a grown man, a man who had made mistakes, who had regretted and grieved and owned up to his sins, bedding the only woman he’s ever loved or ever will.
Michelle reached for me, her hands on my sides, and pulled my polo shirt up so she could run her hands over my abs and my rib cage. Her fingertips tracing every line of muscle made the work I did and the weights I lifted worth every minute. She owned every inch of me, body and soul. It was almost painful to break the kiss long enough to pull my shirt over my head and throw it on the floor. I kicked off my shoes and shoved my shorts down, joining her back on the bed. Her arms were held out for me like I had been gone forever. And maybe I had been.
The slow slide of my hand down her back made her nestle closer to me. Our kiss went on and
on, until I laid my palm on the curve of her belly. “That’s our baby,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. She smiled and nodded.
“How did you feel when you found out?”
“I was shocked and scared and upset. And so, so happy. Because the instant I saw the positive test result, my brain was terrified, but my heart was just turning cartwheels. I was going to have a baby to love and care for. I wanted this so much and you know I had given up hope of ever having a family. I figured it was over for me, you know? Like I couldn’t make it work with Jared Fisk who was perfect on paper, if I couldn’t fall in love with him and raise kids, then I was hopeless. So this was the most unexpected gift.”
“You were scared because you believed I didn’t want you. Not forever. Can I just say if you believed that then I’ve done a terrible job? Because there has never been a time when I didn’t want to be with you for the rest of my life. When I think about all the time we wasted because I lied to you—"
“You’re not the only one to blame. Clearly you dumped me, but if I had been telling you what I wanted out of life, for real, how all I wanted was to go to college, be a librarian, come back here and raise a family with you—then we could have understood each other better. Maybe that wouldn’t have happened. We lost a lot of time. Let’s not waste any more of it.”
“I don’t want to waste another second,” I told her. “Starting tomorrow, it’s the beginning of our life. It’s day one.”
“Tomorrow? What about tonight?” she said with a soft smile that slayed me.
“Tonight? Tonight, we celebrate.”
Epilogue
Michelle - One Year Later
Brie had Drew’s dark eyes, wide and coffee brown, fringed with feathery black lashes that made everyone who saw her severely jealous. She was a delightful and happy baby, all chubby legs and smiley dimples, with wispy light brown hair. She was a hundred percent Drew’s mini me. Easygoing and cheerful, everyone’s buddy.
Falling in Love: A Secret Baby Romance (Rockford Falls Romance) Page 16