“Maybe I changed,” I said, again defying Gene’s advice to keep quiet and let him do the talking.
Predictably, Gene said, “Trey.” When I glanced at him, he shook his head infinitesimally. Gene’s displeasure was obvious in his scowl, and panic was obvious in Camilla’s wide-eyed expression. My eyes cut to Leila’s, who seemed to be the only person to appreciate my claim.
“I don’t know how many times I need to say that I’m not looking for a golden opportunity to trap him financially,” Camilla quipped, but before Gene could voice his rebuttal, she rushed on to say, “Nor am I looking to ruin his life. In fact, I want the opposite of both those scenarios. With his signature, I’ll leave as quickly as I came.” She raised her chin again, a gesture I now knew meant she wasn’t at all intimidated. I had to give her credit. Anyone else easily could have been, walking into a room with three famous rock stars and their lawyer, ready to shred her apart. Well, two of them were ready. Leila looked like she wanted to invite Camilla to dinner.
“Miss Deron,” Gene interrupted. “Based on what little information we have at this time, in addition to needing to schedule a paternity test as soon as possible, I feel it best to meet again at a later date.” In other words—I need to talk to my dumbass client.
Fuck that. I needed to talk to her now and understand why she’d appeared from nowhere. Waiting wasn’t an option, especially for someone like me whose days seemed to be three times longer than a normal person’s. Knowing my lawyer would shit himself, regardless I blurted out, “Camilla, can I buy you lunch?” When Gene’s jaw dropped open, I almost chuckled out loud.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Gene argued.
“I want to speak to her alone.”
But when Gene refused to budge, I directed my plea to my friends. “Guys?”
Leila and Jack exchanged a look before they stood. “It was nice meeting you, Camilla,” Leila said before Jack voiced the same. They left the room, and once alone Camilla and I focused on Gene.
Maybe it was the look in our eyes, or maybe my lawyer realized there wasn’t a need to continue waving his sword in hopes of winning a battle. Whatever it was had Gene sighing with a resolute nod. “We’ll be in touch, Miss. Deron.”
Camilla reciprocated with a nod of her own. And in the long seconds that passed until Gene closed the door with a resounding click, I wondered what the hell I’d say to this woman.
Chapter 5
Camilla
As Trey and I sat facing each other, with our takeout lunches waiting to be eaten, his security guard sat just outside the conference room.
It’d been seven years since our one night together, but the way he’d affected me made it seem like no time had passed. Sure, there’d been physical changes to the man whom I’d had a massive crush on after we’d had sex. His physique seemed more muscular than it was back then. Longer hair that had been pulled back in a short ponytail was now cut short and neatly styled. And I spotted a few more tattoos on his arms that may not have been there before.
But there were two things that hadn’t changed—he still sported that smug smirk on his handsome face, and his eyes were still just as mesmerizing.
When all eyes trained on me after I arrived, I’d had to suppress an eye roll. I expected him to have an entourage present, but seriously? Did they think I was about to stab him with a plastic fork?
The posh decor of the studio was also something I’d expected. Just as my stomach fluttered that night long ago when I’d partied with the rock stars who had recorded their music in those halls, being there with a few of them in a small room brought the same case of nerves.
What surprised me was how down to earth Jack and Leila seemed. Jack said nothing at all, but it wasn’t disdain I saw in his eyes and instead compassion. His wife was no different, and through the small smiles she offered, I had a feeling my news wasn’t all that upsetting to her.
I’d like to say that brought comfort, but what I felt was just the opposite. What I knew about my daughter’s father came directly from the headlines. And until this meeting, I had no doubt the man an entire female population lusted for would run from responsibility that came with fatherhood.
With the few comments he’d made so far, I no longer could assume that was still the case. Regardless, I needed to stick to my agenda and not have him intimidate me. Just because he unknowingly donated sperm didn’t mean he was a father. I was well aware it wasn’t his fault I kept Alivia from him, but as far as I was concerned, I’d saved my daughter, and myself, from years of rejection.
“Do you actually have something to talk to me about?” I asked when he still had yet to speak. “Because I could have saved you the cost of an overpriced turkey club.”
Trey smirked at my feistiness. “Do you have somewhere you need to be?”
“No.”
“Then what’s the rush?” After releasing a sigh, I ignored the amusement in his expression. “How did you get my address?” he asked.
“I knew you were playing a charity concert a few weeks ago. I waited outside until it was over and followed your driver home.” I didn’t admit that was the third time I had tried.
“Well that’s a bit creepy,” he said, brows raised in amusement. “You said you’ve been here since childhood. Where is here?”
“Queens. I told you that when you asked if I lived in your building.”
“Are you always this irritable?” When I refused to answer that question, he nodded. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He paused and rolled his eyes. “Look. I’m just trying to have a conversation with you.”
“Why don’t you just say what you need to without sugarcoating it?”
“Fine. I want to meet Alivia.” Like a magic trick, his admission had the cockiness slipping off my face. “Now that I know she could be mine I want the opportunity to get to know her.”
“Why?”
His eyes widened before he said, “I thought that would be obvious. I deserve to meet my daughter.” When I continued to silently stare at him, he added, “You don’t agree?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Why?” he mimicked.
“Because, meeting her means opening a door you have no intention of keeping opened… and that’s a recipe for disaster. It’ll be hard enough to explain who you are and for her six-year-old mind to process what that means.”
“You came to me,” he said, reminding me of something I regretted. “Why now? Why did you choose yesterday to tell me?”
The longer I paused, the more he drilled his ice-blue eyes into mine.
“Once Victor learned Alivia wasn’t his daughter, he became irate. He demanded to know who I cheated with. Technically, I hadn’t cheated on him. We were broken up when I had sex with you, but only by days. Regardless, I refused to tell him. I don’t trust him. And…”
“And?”
“Playing mind games was always his thing. He’s moody. I worried if he woke up one day resenting me and feeling spiteful decided to have some spiteful fun. I know it’s a longshot but based on his personality, I don’t want to constantly worry he’ll have something over me. If anything, my paranoia forced me to do something I’d been dreading to do.”
“Contact me.”
“Yes.” Among other things. Once my accident happened, I knew I had to get sole legal custody of Alivia to ensure she ended up with the right people… Debbie and her husband, Carson. Not my family, not Trey, not foster parents. I hated that I’d taken the risk by procrastinating all those years, and I needed to finally get it done.
Despite struggling with a wave of nausea, I straightened my spine and said, “Now you know my reason to find you.”
“Not really,” he challenged, drilling those vivid blue eyes right through me. In all the years that have passed, I couldn’t forget those eyes if I wanted to. Mainly because I saw them every day whenever I looked at my daughter.
“If you want to know more, then ask me.” I folded my arms defiantly, and he arrogantly did the
same while I ignored the little voice in my head that kept chanting what a big mistake this was. It’d been tormenting me since the moment I finally had his address in my hands.
Prior to that, during the weeks it took to find such information, my motives to protect Alivia pretty much drove the bus. But now that I was there, that seed of doubt that I might have misjudged him continued to grow roots in my gut.
“Okay, I’ll play,” he finally said. “Why did you fuck me that night?” My shocked expression caused a cocky smirk to tip the corners of his mouth.
A vision of what he could do with that mouth engulfed my mind. Trey’s kissing expertise had him starring in my fantasies for years to come. Between the stress that came from my family’s disappointment in me, experiencing pregnancy all on my own, and then becoming a mother, dating hasn’t been something I had time or energy for. But the more he stared, the more my cheeks flamed from embarrassment of having used him for all my personal sexual encounters through the years.
I wanted to say, Because I was a stupid kid who thought that having a wild night would open the gates for an exciting future. There I was, a college student with immigrant parents who’d sacrificed so much to give their children American educations.
My parents were extremely traditional, held family values above all else, and had raised us in a strict authoritarian manner. At times I’d rebelled, sneaking out when I was forced to stay home or pushing the envelope when I knew they would be furious.
They seemed to forever be disappointed by me. I had no proof, but my entire life I felt like I had been nothing but an inconvenience to my parents.
That created an extremely sheltered adolescence.
Things had improved for me when I’d begun dating Victor. He was a good friend of my brother’s, and my family approved of our relationship. Unfortunately, they only saw one side of the man, who could do no wrong in their eyes. With time, Victor revealed his true colors. He was careful in the way he’d threaten me just enough to evoke the constant need to walk on eggshells when together.
Our breakup hadn’t been received well. My family accused me of being immature and ruining the best thing that had happened to me.
So, when a friend I waitressed with talked me into doing something crazy for my birthday, I may have hastily jumped at the opportunity. Those concert tickets provided just what I’d needed, and Debbie having won them along with the fateful backstage passes meant it was all free.
The concert itself was amazing but partying with all those rockers afterward was surreal. For the first time in my life I felt free, independent.
That night, Debbie had focused on Devil’s Lair’s drummer and pushed me toward the bass player. When I met Trey, he was actually charming and sweet. Sure, I wasn’t dumb enough to think he didn’t have an agenda of getting into my pants… but I happened to have made that easy for him.
“It was my twentieth birthday, and it seemed a great way to celebrate it.”
“By fucking a rock star?” he challenged.
“Yes.”
“Was it worth it?” he shot right back. At the sound of my gasp, he softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I know what you meant.” It was a question I often struggled with. That night, I’d effectively killed all my dreams and watched them vanish quicker than you could say faulty condom. Yet I had a gorgeous, spirited, amazing little girl I couldn’t imagine not having in my life. So how could I regret my time with Trey?
“You’re now?” My silence prompted him to add, “Twenty-five?”
“I just turned twenty-six last week.” He nodded and I rushed on. “Alivia is my world,” I responded honestly. “So, yes, it was. But at the time I thought my world was ending. The superfine tether that had kept me connected to my family snapped upon learning I had become pregnant by a stranger at twenty years old.”
My situation had devastated my parents in the worst way. They couldn’t see past the scandal or how I’d ruined my life. The plan had always been for them to return to Puerto Rico once their children had graduated, but my situation caused them to return to their home sooner than planned. In their eyes, they’d done all they could to give their children what neither had growing up in Puerto Rico. My brother accepted their sacrifices gracefully and made them proud… whereas I shamed them with my promiscuousness.
My brother, Roberto, graduated with an American computer science degree. He also left the States after he met his wife and decided to settle back home. He checked in from time to time but showed no other support than that obligatory phone call. Victor was a friend to him, and as far as Roberto was concerned, I’d screwed up the day I broke up with him.
“Anyway. As I said, she is everything to me. I’m only trying to protect my daughter.”
The way Trey fiddled with the edge of his napkin proved this conversation was way above his head. “You said you had a scare.”
“Car accident.” My mind flashed with each horrific memory. “I was on my way to picking Alivia up from preschool, as I did every day, and a drunk driver ran a stop sign.”
Trey paled a bit. “When?”
“She was three. Days went by before I was coherent enough to understand what had happened. She spent days in foster care, and it was the most terrifying experience of my life… more than the accident itself.” A chill traveled through me as I remembered waking up, alone and afraid, screaming for my daughter, panicked she was alone. Deemed to be a danger to myself, I’d had to be sedated.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, Camilla.”
“It’s over, and we survived it.” Barely. “During those eleven days, my daughter was under the care of a foster parent because I’d never formally documented an emergency contact. As I healed, the nurses and doctors all claimed I was lucky to be alive.” Truthfully, I felt like I was already in hell, while each hour, each minute that passed was the worst form of torture, until I was reunited with Alivia.
Once I recovered, I had decided to erase the constant threat that news of the man who’d fathered Alivia would eventually get out. I planned to find him back then, banking on the fact that he was a hot, single rock star who would run from having a daughter. A nice clean break. But then he found love. And then he had the accident that killed his wife. After that he spiraled out of control with drugs and alcohol. The reasons not to approach him went on and on.
My stomach tightened as I waited for him to ask for details. But instead he cleared his throat and asked, “What’s she like?”
Grateful he’d changed the subject, I smiled. “Pure joy.” Trey continued to study me as I tried to put into words why having Alivia in my life made everything better. “Even on my worst days, when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, one look at her and life is suddenly perfect. It’s the kind of love that can’t be described.”
In a flash, his expression grew hard as he pushed his uneaten lunch a few inches away. While I wondered what I’d said that caused his shutters to slam shut, he completely changed the subject. “Once the paternity results are complete, and I have proof that Alivia is indeed my kid, I want to meet her. You may have this grand plan, but you can’t expect me to ignore that she exists.”
“Trey, please.” I tried to hide the panic that crept through every vein in my body. “Let’s fast-forward a month, a year. Suddenly, you wake up and realize having a kid doesn’t fit into your lifestyle. And then I’m left with a little girl who doesn’t deserve to be confused.”
I’d been an adult when my parents abandoned me, and it had screwed me up big time. I couldn’t even imagine the damage it would cause at such a young age. Better she never knew her father than to have him walk away at some point in her life.
“I said I’ve changed,” he argued in a strained voice that revealed a new level of despair.
“But your lifestyle hasn’t. You’re still required to tour the world, and the responsibility of a child doesn’t fit in with Trey Taylor, the rock star.”
“What do you know about wh
at fits in my life?” he barked forcibly. But any remorse he felt dissipated when I didn’t even flinch. “You don’t know me.”
“You’re right. I don’t know you. I guess I’m assuming I know how you’ll behave based on your very public persona.” My features softened as I remembered what he’d been through. And I hated to bring him even more angst, but I was all Alivia had. “If something were to happen to me, Alivia deserves a stable environment. I just want to protect my daughter.”
“And I just want to get to know her.” Trey stood with an abrupt jolt. “My lawyer will be in touch.” With one last glance, he opened the door and left the room.
An unimaginable swell of apprehension made for a stressful train ride back to Queens. I wasn’t expecting Trey to sign the paperwork without those paternity results, but I had hoped he would agree to do so without argument once he learned Alivia was his.
Stuck between remorse and resolve, I tried not to let panic overwhelm me. There were no guarantees in life. But God forbid something did happen to me—the thought of Alivia living with strangers, or in horrific conditions, terrified me.
I worked very hard for Alivia to avoid that kind of existence, living from day to day, check to check. Thankfully, my tenacity and perseverance had paid off. From an early age, my father passed his knack for computer coding down to his kids. He was a proud man and made it his mission to set my brother and me on a path that could afford us great possibilities. Unfortunately, that pride he possessed was what had forever splintered our relationship.
With no family to speak of, my friend Debbie and her husband Carson have taken on that role. She was like a sister to me, Carson a big brother, and they were who I trusted Alivia to be with.
So much has happened in the last six years, but every ounce of distress I endured since becoming pregnant instantly vanished the moment I walked into Alivia’s classroom.
Trey Page 4