Trey had always been free in the way he grabbed my hand or pushed into my side. Now it seemed like there was some sort of magnetic force field around me that kept him at a distance. My logical side argued it was better that way… easier to ignore the effect he had on me.
Yeah, right… my heart argued, Who was I kidding? His mere presence messed with me. The way his cologne lingered long after he left or the sound of his deep throaty voice reading a sweet bedtime story made it very difficult to tame my libido.
Overall, Trey has impressed me with the way he handled his daughter. Since telling Alivia he was her father, his protectiveness has taken priority. He made it a point to never mention his band’s name in front of Alivia, or his last name. For all she knew, he was just Daddy or Trey. This was for her own protection, as the less she knew the better. Early in his relationship with us, he would be lax at times regarding the baseball hat or sunglasses he sometimes wore in public… now, not so much.
Just yesterday, after tucking her in for the night, he’d casually requested he planned to have their security company assign some guy named Ryan to Alivia and me. He explained that would ensure there would always be someone available to me if I needed to drive anywhere outside of my vicinity. My gut instinct was to push back, but I took a few seconds to consider where he was coming from. He’d been living with fame for years, and although his methods were a bit heavy handed, he meant well.
So instead of arguing, I merely nodded, knowing that except for traveling into the city, of which he always sent Alec to pick us up, I went nowhere.
For the most part, I tried to be more complacent. But internalizing my frustration over developing feelings for him caused bouts of defiance to seep out whenever he did something to undermine my requests… such as buying Alivia whatever her heart desired.
Like wanting to get her a kitten simply because she once mentioned she’d name it Miss Kitty after her favorite fictional character. Or when he nonchalantly mentioned she probably needed a cell phone in case of an emergency, even though he already had gotten her a tablet, for which I’d had no chance to argue.
The promise he’d made in the beginning not to shower her with extravagant gifts at every opportunity has been conveniently forgotten. And like any normal child would, Alivia began to expect them, and that bothered me.
There was always something Trey wanted to do for her. Because he couldn’t take her to the park or a movie like any other dad, his ideas were a bit over the top. I was now used to the random phone calls that always started with, “Hey, I was thinking…” Those four little words never failed to cause an internal moan on my part. I nicknamed them Trey-isms, and yesterday’s Trey-ism had to do with her birthday.
After “virtually” tucking in our daughter last night via a video chat, he’d called back a little while later to talk to me. “Hey, I was thinking. Since I missed many of her birthdays, I decided this year we’re celebrating her half birthday.”
I quickly did the math in my head, realizing the fourth of August was this coming Saturday. “Alec will come by to get you guys.” It wasn’t a request. “Just have Alivia dressed and ready for eleven a.m. Oh… and pack an overnight bag for her.”
“Why?”
“I’ll explain Saturday,” he quickly replied… and in typical Trey manner just gave the tiniest amount of information needed. He hung up, leaving me with a ton of questions. And, of course, as we drove to the city for said party, I was the one left to field the million questions that my daughter had.
“I wonder if I’m going to see where Shane lives,” she said while searching my face for a clue. “He said he wants to show me the music room they have, and maybe we can start practicing for our new band. Do you think that’s what we’re doing?” When I merely shrugged, she puckered her lips into a pout. “It’s driving me crazy, Mommy.”
“Me too, sweetie.”
For the rest of the ride we both slipped back into our own thoughts, wondering what the man who was beginning to rock our world in different ways was up to today.
Chapter 23
Trey
“What a great way to be celebrating your birthday,” Leila said as I paced near the back door.
“The look on her face will be my greatest gift. I want today to be about her.”
Leila smiled wide and waved a hand around us. “You made sure to do that. It looks like a Hello Kitty alternate universe.” My response was a casual shrug. Why deny it?
I definitely went all out. PlayScapades was every child’s dream, an indoor amusement park with plenty to do. Haven had also arranged a visit from my daughter’s favorite character, and they would all make their own pizzas for lunch before cutting into a huge Hello Kitty cake. All this was to celebrate her sixth-and-a-half birthday, which happened to coincide with mine.
The place seemed cavernous with only my bandmates and their families occupying it. It took some string pulling, but Leila’s assistant, Haven, also managed to have the owner close it to the public—on a Saturday, no less—so we would have it to ourselves.
“Well, no doubt Alivia will love it. But we need to celebrate you too.” She looped her arm around mine and squeezed closer. “I’m so happy for you, Trey.” There was much more than happiness in her expression. Without saying the words, I knew she was also proud of where I was compared to two years earlier. “You deserve this.”
“Thanks, Little Lair, but I’m afraid to be too happy, though.”
Her pretty amber eyes blazed like a laser through my disdain. “Stop it. You need to accept all this good… open yourself up and let it in. Please don’t sabotage this amazing gift you received.”
“I know,” I agreed without sharing what a huge struggle it actually was to do that. Every day since Alivia came into my life, I’d felt that all-too-familiar dread that something would go wrong. It wasn’t exactly a looming formidable presence, but more so a shadow hovering over the corners of my life. If I wasn’t paying attention, I would barely notice it… problem was, I always paid attention.
At that moment, Alec texted that they were pulling around the back, prompting Leila to gather everyone. Avoiding the front entrance was purposeful, just in case some curious teenagers were milling around outside wondering why their favorite hangout was closed for the day.
A few minutes later, the metal door swung open and Camilla came through, holding Alivia’s hand.
“Surprise!” we all shouted, and sure enough the look on my daughter’s face was one I’d never forget. Nor would I forget how beautiful Camilla looked. Ditching the usual shorts and T-shirt, Camilla had on a pale-yellow dress that hugged her perfectly. She had also attired Alivia in an adorable summer dress of her own with watermelons scattered on the fabric. But on their feet were yet more pairs of coordinating Chucks.
“For me?” she asked, glancing up at her mother and then toward me.
“Yes, sweetheart. It’s a party for you.”
She took notice of our birthday hats and the themed balloons swaying from the cool air flowing out of the AC vents. “But it’s not my birthday.”
I squatted before her and cupped her face. “Today is August fourth, so it’s your half birthday.”
“It is?” Her mouth gaped open in awe. “So, I’m six and a half today?”
“Yep. Happy half birthday!”
She threw her hands around my neck while everyone clapped. All the little ones rushed forward to grant their own birthday wishes, forcing me to quickly stand and move a few steps away or risk being trampled.
During the chaos that ensued, Camilla watched Alivia practically gushing with joy. But once again, while Alivia’s attention was elsewhere, Camilla’s troubled expression returned. When her big brown eyes slid my way and caught me watching her, she darted them away.
These past few weeks, Camilla had been quiet. Like now, smiling when around Alivia, but more reserved when we were alone. I always asked if she was okay, or if there were any concerns she had that I wasn’t privy to. She assured me our d
aughter was just fine and not to be concerned.
I believed her regarding Alivia but knew something was off when it came to Camilla.
After the party, I had arranged for Leila to take Alivia for the night. That would grant Alivia her wish to have a playdate with Jack and Leila’s kids while giving me some alone time with Camilla. Maybe she’d open up a bit, as she had during our walk on the beach.
I thought about that evening often, especially the kiss. I wasn’t sure if that was the reason Camilla had suddenly become distant toward me or if it was her admission to Debbie on that call I’d overheard. If she indeed had feelings for me, knowing her as well as I had could mean that she was fighting them. In that, I could relate.
I myself have been plagued with all sorts of compromising dreams starring Camilla. And every time I saw her, the attraction I constantly tamped down tried to slink its way to the surface… just like now.
Her flirty dress not only showcased her ridiculously sexy body but also displayed those toned, tan legs that I imagined wrapped around my—
“Hey,” she said, snapping me out of my fantasy. Shit, I hadn’t even noticed that she’d closed the distance between us. “A little birdie told me it’s your birthday.”
“I wonder who.” We both looked over at Leila at the same time. “She was supposed to keep her mouth shut. I plan on having a little talk with her later.”
Camilla giggled. “Don’t yell at her. She means well.”
“I can’t make that promise.” The grin on my face meant I wasn’t serious.
“Well, happy birthday. Alivia should know. It would make her so happy.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said reluctantly.
For obvious reasons, celebrating my birthday was something I hadn’t done in a few years. A memory of Tara holding a guitar-shaped birthday cake popped into my head. It was my thirtieth, and I made her promise me she wouldn’t throw a party. So instead, she’d asked Leila to throw one, claiming it was a loophole since I never specified that someone else couldn’t.
While we silently stood side by side watching the excitement a few feet away, I couldn’t help but compare Camilla to Tara. Physically, they couldn’t be more different… but one thing they had in common was their ability to capture my attention when it defied logic.
Suddenly, the party coordinator announced it was face-painting time, and the cheers became deafening. “You think they’re excited?” I asked with a smirk.
“I’d say.” Surprisingly, she placed a hand on my arm. “Let’s go watch our daughter have fun.”
Our daughter… I’d never tire of Camilla including me in that equation. And I wasn’t sure if it was her touch or those words that sent an electrical zip right through me.
Somehow, I suspected it was both.
After the party, Camilla, Alivia, and I were driven back to my apartment, where she excitedly opened her presents, including the one from me… her bedroom at my place.
Although it’d been weeks since her room was all done, she had yet to see it. As she bounced from one thing to another, exclaiming a thank-you over and over, I leaned against the doorway with a smug smile, arms folded while ignoring Camilla’s glare. It couldn’t be because of the bedroom, because she had seen it weeks ago. It most likely had to do with the new additions I’d added since then—specifically a desk complete with enough art supplies to repaint the Sistine Chapel, along with a state-of-the-art laptop.
Once we’d dropped Alivia off at the Lairs,’ with promises to be there for the pancake feast in the morning, Camilla and I returned to my apartment as a deafening silence stretched between us.
“Okay…” I finally said, locking the door behind me and flipping on the lights. “Let it out. I know you’re busting at the seams.”
“What happened to running things by me first?” she asked, not bothering to hide her annoyance.
“That can’t be why you’re so pissy, because you had just as much fun today as everyone else.” I walked toward my fridge and grabbed a bottle of water for me and wine for her. “How about we don’t use that as an excuse for your attitude lately.”
“I don’t have an attitude.” She watched me pour, remaining silent. When I handed her a glass of the white that she loved, her scowl softened just a tiny bit.
“Yes, you do. Ever since the beach you’ve been…” Pausing to carefully choose my word, I smirked and said, “Reticent.”
“No, I haven’t.” Her gaze followed my path into the living room, where I plopped down into my favorite chair. I had no intention of saying anything else for a while. I had learned through experience that providing just a nibble of information would soon have her opening up on her own accord.
And sure enough, she stormed toward me and said, “You can’t make this about me, Trey.”
“But it is about you.”
“No, this is about you trying to cram six years of missed birthdays and Christmases into a few weeks! Not only is she trying to adjust to having a father for the first time in her life but showering her with materialistic things is only going to create unhealthy expectations that I can’t compete with. It’s not fair to me.”
As I remained silent, she predictably continued, “Look, what you did today for her was very sweet. She had such a nice time, and yes, so did I. But renting out an entire business for her to have a party? That’s insane. And you couldn’t end it there. You had to go even further with all the gifts?”
Amused, I leaned back in my chair and casually laid an ankle over my knee. “I made sure my friends spent no more than ten dollars.”
“But that rule doesn’t apply to you?” She finally stopped pacing to level me with her pointed glare. “A laptop? The art studio? Three weeks ago, I said it was all too much too soon, but yet you heard, Buy her more?” When the unconcerned shrug I gave as a response caused her nostrils to flare, I had to fight the grin that threatened. But the way my lips twitched must have tipped her off when she folded her arms and went in for the kill by saying, “She already loves you, Trey. You don’t have to buy your way into her life.”
In an instant, I was up and in her face. “You know damn well that’s not what I’m trying to do.” Her eyes widened a touch, but she stood her ground. “Yeah, I’m spoiling her a bit… so, fucking what? I’m a goddamn loner with more money than God and no one to spend it on. This is about more than me indulging our daughter. Maybe this is you being jealous that she now has someone other than you to hang her sun and moon on?”
Frustrated, I ran a hand through my hair, regretting my words. She didn’t say anything for a few long moments, even while the fire in her eyes morphed into sadness.
I opened my mouth to apologize just as she said, “That’s low, even for you.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. You just frustrate me so fucking much. It drives me nuts when you bottle it all in, and pushing your buttons is the only way you’ll talk to me.”
Her brows rose as realization hit. “Ah… was that why you had me pack an overnight bag for her? Was that your plan all along? To have her sleep out so you could ambush me?”
“If by ambush you mean communicate, then yes, that was my plan. Since we’re never alone…” I closed what little distance there was and leaned over her. “I needed to find a way to have this conversation happen face-to-face while making sure you fessed up to what’s bothering you.”
“Okay, I’ll bite.” She calmly placed the wine on a side table to fold her arms defiantly. “I’m thrilled that my daughter finally gets to have what she’s wanted her whole life, a man to look up to and admire. What I’m not happy with is the lengths you’ll go through to spoil her. Why can’t you see where I’m coming from?”
“Probably the same reason you can’t see where I’m coming from. I’m not going to change that, Camilla. You need to accept it.”
Undeterred, she lifted her chin, bringing our mouths a whisper apart. But before she could respond, before she could voice whatever it was that had those chocolate-brown eyes blazing wit
h an intensity I couldn’t ignore, I gripped the back of her neck and kissed her hard.
This time, I didn’t pull away. This time, I wrapped my arms around her waist, tugged her into my body, and unleashed all the sexual frustrations I carried into her mouth.
She pulled her head back enough to break the kiss, but her fingers contradicted that action by gripping the fabric of my T-shirt. While we stared at each other, teetering on the edge of lucidity, a desire I hadn’t felt in ages thrummed through me.
Kissing Camilla felt like standing in the eye of a storm… a calmness that consumed me even as turmoil whipped around us.
I was sick of the turmoil. I was tired of being level-headed.
I wanted to feel the high that came from intimacy, to submit to the hunger she somehow triggered.
Which was why I stepped away.
Chapter 24
Camilla
One step did little to break the tether caused by his crystalline eyes drilling into mine. They seemed to be asking me for permission… or begging me to stop him.
Despite my brain screaming at me, I didn’t want to stop him.
The two times his lips had touched mine instigated a desire to inhale him. It felt like I’d been holding my breath until those firm, sexy lips provided the oxygen I needed.
But before I could fully snap out of my trance and do the right thing, I watched him engage in some sort of internal battle that resulted in him stepping forward to resume where he had left off.
That was all it took for me to completely cave in. I slid my hands up his muscular torso and into the short hair at the nape of his neck. The move spurred him to grip my hips and yank me closer still.
Kissing him unleashed years of desire and unraveled weeks of restraint.
“Camilla,” he rasped as a whisper against my lips. “We can’t,” he went on to say before contradicting himself by devouring my mouth once again. Disappointment came fast when he released the hold he had on my hips, only to be replaced by hope when he slid his hands up my back. Regardless of the way he increased his efforts by nipping on my lips, I knew he didn’t want to do this but couldn’t stop.
Trey Page 16