“Your?” she prompted, leaning in closer as if it were just the two of them casually chatting.
His jaw clenched before he blurted out, “To my girlfriend. The truth is, we are seeing each other. And besides that, there’s nothing more to tell. I’ve been very open with you and promise to continue to be. All I ask in return is for you all to respect our privacy.”
Debbie gripped my hand with a teary smile lifting the corners of her lips. A picture flashed on the screen of Trey holding Alivia as I wedged close to them. It was the same shot that had been leaked. The only difference was it came from one of our phones—no graininess, no shadows. Trey must have given it to the producers. It was a clear, perfect shot of how happy we were at that moment.
Right then I dared to believe that we would have many more moments just like that one. But at least the world would now see it as a beautiful thing and not a dark, scandalous secret.
One would think after the day I’d had that I would’ve passed out the moment my head thumped against the pillow.
But getting no sleep the night before, enduring all the emotions that consumed me during Trey’s interview, and playing with my daughter on the beach for hours were no match for the thoughts running rampant in my head.
He’d announced to the world I was his girlfriend!
For the first time in days the smile planted on my face wasn’t a forced one for Alivia’s benefit. This man who’d upturned our lives continued to surprise me at every turn.
When I thought he’d fight the reality of being a dad, he embraced it with two eager arms. When I assumed I was the only one dealing with emotions, he confessed he had been too. When I harped that our world would never be the same and feared Alivia would forever be affected because of it, he took matters into his own hands by defusing the madness.
I had no idea what would happen the next couple of weeks, years even, but one thing I was sure of—we’d face it together. Romantic connection or not. Trey and I were forever bonded, and we respected each other enough to make that bond work in any capacity.
The realist in me tried to rear her ugly head, wondering what would happen with my business, or Alivia’s schooling, or my sweet little apartment that had been home for the past seven years. But the newfound optimist, something novel that I couldn’t afford to be once I’d become a mother, made it a point to tamp down those worries for now.
As Leila had said while the three of us enjoyed a glass of wine on the deck after the girls were in bed, “Things happen for a reason.”
Frustrated and horny, I punched the pillow before flipping over for the hundredth time since getting into bed.
I watched his interview on my phone for a second time. Without the concern of the unknown to interfere, I focused on the sexy, courageous man who opened his heart for the world to see. At the end of her interrogation, he even chuckled in relief that it was over, and that sound did things to my libido.
Suddenly, a beam of light sliced through the darkened bedroom, forcing me to sit up, assuming Alivia needed me. But the form in the doorway wasn’t of a small girl… it was the silhouette of a tall, muscular man who filled the space.
“Trey?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” He entered and closed the door behind him before stalling in the middle of the room. Sitting up, I tucked the comforter around my hips and turned on a lamp on the nightstand. “I came as soon as I could.” He wore the same clothes and looked utterly exhausted. My heart went out to him as a lump formed in my throat because of what he’d had to endure today. Shit, forget today, what he’d had to endure his entire life.
He was wrong. He did deserve to be happy, and at that moment, whether things worked out for us or not, I vowed to try my damnedest to bring him as much happiness as I could.
Starting right then.
When I held out my hand, he first searched my face before taking the steps to accept it. A smile I couldn’t hold back spread when he entwined our fingers and sat on the side of the bed. “Thank you.” He looked away, almost shyly, until I cupped his jaw to force those crystal-blue eyes back to mine. “What you did today was beyond amazing.”
“I can’t take all the credit. A friend thought of it.” He shrugged. “I don’t know if it will help, but I needed to try.” I watched as he scrubbed a hand over his face before saying, “I’m sorry, Camilla.”
“Trey, stop.”
“No, let me finish. I pushed and pushed, and maybe we should have taken it much slower.”
“Would it have mattered?” I asked with a small smile. “In hindsight, I’m almost glad it happened, so maybe we can move on, learn from it?” He didn’t look all that convinced, but I meant every word. “There is no way to predict what would’ve happened if we took things slower. Maybe months from now it would’ve been so much worse. Like Leila said last night, ‘Things happen for a reason.’”
He rolled his eyes on a sigh. “That little pain in the ass is always right.” When I giggled, he finally cracked a smile… but the more he stared, the more his expression became serious. He cupped my cheek before placing a kiss on my forehead. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Can I sleep with you? Just sleep?” My immediate response was to shift over and pat the mattress. He toed off his shoes, shut the light, and slipped in fully clothed beside me, placing his head on my chest and his arms around my waist.
This man needed love.
Here was this cocky, heavily tattooed rock star with obvious vulnerabilities. Over the past two years, he might have nourished his body with food and water, but by denying his heart love he’d caused an obvious deficiency that needed to be filled.
Right then, I vowed that Alivia and I would be the ones to fill it to capacity… and it had to begin by admitting my love first.
I needed to say it first.
Now.
“Trey,” I whispered while running soothing fingers through his hair.
“Hmm?” At my pause, he shifted enough to stare up at me with those gorgeous blue eyes.
“I love you.”
A myriad of emotions passed over his features, but I couldn’t be sure what they all meant. A few months ago, his silence would’ve caused a surge of insecurities to make me regret my words, to backpedal in order to protect my own heart.
But I knew why this man often held back, and after what he’d been through, he had the right to.
So instead of internally shriveling from his lack of a response, I kissed the top of his head as he lay on my chest and held him tightly in my arms to support my words.
His breathing evened, having me assume he’d fallen asleep. But then, minutes after my admission, he quietly said, “I love you too.”
Those four simple words flared across the dimly lit room before bursting in technicolor brilliance like my favorite kind of fireworks.
Chapter 33
Trey
She loves me.
I love her.
We said nothing else afterward. There was no need to. I simply lay there tucked up against her, my head on her chest, my heart in her hands. Sometime during the night, we switched positions to where she rested on me as I circled her in my arms.
It was the best sleep I’d had in ages.
Through my slumber-induced haze, I felt a tiny hand patting my face. Suppressing a smile, I pretended to be fast asleep during each adorable smack. And then she leaned closer and loud-whispered, “Daddy,” causing Camilla to shift against me.
Another call of my name came along with a jostling hand on my arm, and with her nose an inch from mine I snorted like a pig, causing her to jump away.
“Daddy!” When I chuckled, she fisted her hips and narrowed her eyes. Meanwhile, her messy bedhead and cupcake pajamas contradicted the authoritative stance. “That wasn’t nice.”
Camilla smacked my chest, echoing our daughter’s sentiment. “No, it wasn’t,” she voiced groggily from sleep.
“Sorry, girls.” I kissed the top of Camilla’s head befor
e twisting to reach for Alivia. “Come here, Squirt.” After lifting and planting her on my chest, I tweaked her nose.
“Why do you call me squirt?” she asked in all seriousness, causing me to chuckle again.
“I don’t know. I think it’s a funny word, and you’re a funny girl.”
“I am?” She pondered my claim and then remembered something. “I guess I am. All my friends said I was funny when I told them your knock-knock jokes.” Suddenly, her expression grew serious as she cupped my face and kissed my nose. “I missed you, Daddy.”
“I missed you more. I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you these past few days.”
“It’s okay. But I was very scared,” she admitted with an exaggerated pout.
“Daddy and Mommy will never let anything happen to you.”
“Because you love me?”
“Very much,” I responded without delay.
“And you love Mommy too.” It wasn’t a question.
I repositioned Camilla back under an arm. “Yes, and I love Mommy too.”
“Does that mean we can live in the same place now? Mommy said we might have to go away, and I want you to come.”
Camilla stiffened, bouncing her focus from Alivia to me and back again. “When did I say that, sweetie?”
“You were upset about the people wanting to get to us.” Alivia stared at Camilla. “You were crying, and I heard you telling Aunt Debbie.”
Camilla’s eyes instantly glassed over. “Oh, sweetheart, we aren’t going away. I promise.” When she frantically moved her eyes back to mine, I hated seeing remorse in those big brown orbs. I had no doubt she was merely relaying to Debbie what she’d heard me saying to Jack. I hated that she’d heard me saying that at all.
Pinching Alivia’s tiny chin to be sure she met my eyes, I went on to explain, “Alivia, there might be times when people want to take a picture of me for their newspapers and magazines…” And sleazy tabloids, meddlesome gossip sites, obnoxious fans, intrusive biographies… the list went on and on. “Sometimes there could be a crowd like we saw outside Daddy’s apartment building, or it could be just one reporter. It’s only because I’m in a famous band, and not because they want to hurt us. But when that happens, we will always protect you. There’s no need to be scared, okay?”
Pale-blue eyes identical to mine widened as she nodded. “Okay.”
“Good.”
I briefly shifted my focus to Camilla, who gave me a tearful smile when I winked. Little by little, we would have to ease her into her new reality while explaining every step we made. New school, new home, new family. I had plans for us. For now, all she needed to know was my agenda for the next week or so.
“What do you want to do today, Squirt?” I asked, changing the subject. “Pool, beach, both?”
“We’re staying here?” She clapped excitedly.
“Yes. You, Mommy, and me are going to have a nice little vacation.”
Another glance at Camilla revealed her surprised expression. This was news to her. But when I asked her to trust me, I meant it. Staying down at the Shore would give us the privacy we needed for a while, but, more importantly, it would give us the opportunity to be a family. One unit. Something I’d been robbed of until now.
“Would you like that?” I asked.
“Yes!” She looked away for a beat. “Can we look for seashells and make a princess sandcastle too?”
“I don’t know. Can we?” Tapping my chin with a fingertip, I animated my expression and said, “Yep, we sure can.”
Her squeal was instantaneous and sure to wake up the entire house. “Shh, sweetheart, it’s early,” Camilla reminded her.
“Want to see a surprise?” I whispered like I was about to share a trade secret. Her eager eyes widened farther as she bobbed her head. Moving her back a touch, I raised the fabric of my T-shirt and then peeled away the white gauze square to reveal a brand-new tattoo. It was still red and angry, but the letters C and A dangling off the TT that had already been over my heart were visible clear as day.
Camilla and Alivia both gasped. “C for Mommy, and A for me?”
“Yep.” I moved my gaze to Camilla to add, “Right over my heart, because that’s where you’ll always be.” I was met with a tearful smile, and when she squeezed my hand with her own, I placed a soft kiss on her lips.
Meanwhile, the sweetest, brightest smile spread over Alivia’s face. “Can I get a tattoo?” she asked before batting her eyelashes cunningly.
“No,” Camilla and I said in unison.
Her bottom lip protruded enough for me to tug on it just as Camilla said, “Hey, why don’t we go brush our teeth, put on our bathing suits, and make breakfast for everyone?”
“Blobby pancakes like Daddy made?”
“Hey now. They weren’t blobs,” I said through a scowl. “They were jellyfish.” I then munched on the side of her neck, inhaling each melodic giggle as if I needed them to breathe.
Earlier, as Camilla had hugged Debbie goodbye, and Alivia consoled a sad Siarra, I had pulled Leila aside. “Hey, thank you for this.” With a huff of air and a wave of her hand, she scoffed at my appreciation. “No, really. You have no idea how much this means to me. And I may not say it often enough, but I couldn’t imagine not having you guys in my life.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Actually, I can’t remember you ever saying that.”
“I’m pretty sure I’ve said that before, you pain in the ass,” I argued through a snarl. “Go take your brood and spread your joy in Disney World. They’re gonna love you there. You’ll fit right in, you dork.”
She giggled before hugging me tight and hard. “I love you. Go be happy,” she said before they piled in the SUV and Oscar drove them away.
I planned on it.
The being happy thing.
I was fucking due.
For the rest of the day, Camilla, Alivia, and I escaped the summer heat by hopping between the pool and the ocean. The giggles were constant, from both mother and daughter. I loved hearing them so much that I made it my mission to keep them laughing… forever.
Before we knew it, hamburgers were off the grill and served up with fries and corn. Afterward we had make-your-own sundaes that my daughter went crazy with. Leila insisted on keeping her cook and housekeeper on duty for us so our sole focus would be enjoying the house and each other.
After showers and pajamas, which I didn’t own and had to steal from Jack’s bedroom, we allowed Alivia to snuggle with us and watch a movie before bed. Fifteen minutes in, she was passed out cold. No surprise there. Fuck, even I was exhausted.
As I transferred her to the guest room beside ours, Camilla set up one of the baby monitors Leila had left for us. It had nothing to do with hearing Alivia if she needed anything, as last night had proved she had no problem seeking us out.
It most definitely was to provide a mini-alarm in case we… well, let’s just say watching Camilla frolic all day in a tiny black bikini had worked me up to quite a state. So, we would be—and soon.
Funny, before last week, I hadn’t had sex in a long time. While running and hiding from the tragedy that was my life, the endless stream of women I’d tried to get lost in had filled a need for all of ten minutes. Being a blond, growing out my beard, and using many aliases gave me the ability to go undetected by all the women I fucked. Once the act was done, I was back to the hollow shell I had become.
Coming back to New York was all about healing. On day one, after discussing the man-whore role I had slipped back into, my therapist had ordered immediate celibacy. I didn’t argue all that much. I was tired of that pattern. Sick of the game.
And then one taste, one night with Camilla, and I couldn’t get my desire for more of her under control.
As was proven by how I waited for her, at full mast, mind you, to join me in bed.
What seemed like an eternity later, the bedroom door slowly opened, and Camilla appeared from the bathroom with her hair long and loose around her shoulders, the silky waves now s
treaked with golden highlights. Her bronze skin tanned beautifully after spending the day in the sun. She wore one of my black T-shirts, the hem kissing those gorgeous, toned legs.
Taunting me.
I loved that our daughter had the same coloring as her mother, and with those crystal-blue eyes she was sure to be a stunner when she got older.
Speaking of stunners, once my eyes had their fill of feasting on Camilla, I demanded, “Come here.” She was just too far away. The intoxicating scent of the beach and coconut engulfed my senses as Camilla slid into bed. And now with her beside me, I could nearly taste her arousal. My dick swelled against the flimsy cotton hard enough that my piercing could easily rip through the fabric.
Fuck.
“Today was such a great day,” she said, cozying up against my chest, her leg pressing against mine, worsening my predicament.
“We have many more coming to us.” I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled. “You know what’s strange?”
“Hmm?” she responded lazily.
“I feel like we’ve been together for years.” She looked up at me, surprised. “No?”
“Yes. I kind of do too.”
“Then why the shocked expression?”
“What’s weird is that you feel the same.” Her big brown eyes captivated me. Fuck… I could stare at this woman all day. Staring led to needing a taste of those plump lips. I’d waited long enough.
I pressed my mouth to hers. Our kiss quickly progressed as I skimmed one of my hands from her hip, under the T-shirt, and straight to her bare breast. A whimper traveled through her mouth when I pinched her nipple. And just like that, her garment was gone in a flash, silently landing on the floor. I maneuvered us until we were side by side and aligned from head to toe.
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