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Global Warming Fun 5: It’s a Dry Heat

Page 9

by Gary J. Davies


  ****

  After packing up for the trip and loading food, fuel, and belongings into Mack, Ed and Mary indeed went to sleep early within the wheeled Stone-Coat. Despite the comparatively tight quarters the seats adjusted in terms of hardness and temperature to suit the couple perfectly. They were awakened several hours before dawn but their bodies were still on East-coast time anyway. Snake gave the couple tasty fly sandwiches for breakfast.

  Led by Snake they left Ridgecrest along with a hundred other motorcycle mounted Storms that made a thunderous din. It was a show of strength that would hopefully give pause to any potential adversaries such as Scar. Ed and Mary were thankful for the sound-deadening capability of the sealed canopy that they lounged in comfortably. In the dim light of the bike headlights the short brushes and cactus plants on each side of the highway were silent and nearly colorless witnesses to their departure; Ed sensed no other witnesses of any sort. But he knew it would be easy for someone hiding in the shadows see them and report to Scar that they were leaving.

  "What the hell is that?" Mary asked, pointing at something to the side of the road too tall to be the usual bush or cactus. "It looks like an impossibly tall thin man with about eight arms and holding bouquets in his hands." She waved at the still figure it as they drove by it but it didn't wave back.

  "Oh good!" said Ed. "That was a Joshua tree. I didn't know if we'd get a chance to see any of them."

  "You'll see even more of them in daylight when we get to the San Joaquin portion of the Central Valley," said Snake. Mack was tapped into a short-wave encrypted radio channel that was being used by Snake and Doll to keep in touch with their tourists. "They are a favorite of my brother. We've been planting thousands of them for two decades. That one was still just a baby."

  "It was over ten feet tall," said Mary.

  "Closer to fifteen," said Snake. "I've seen them over forty feet tall, but that size takes hundreds of years to grow. Hopefully they'll have time to do that, but with our changing climate who the hell knows?"

  "They look like some kind of tree but technically they are a member of the yucca family, not really a tree," added Doll. "I've planted at least a hundred of them myself, north of their traditional Mojave Desert range all the way through the San Joaquin Valley. Transplant by human is tricky. Hacker has a bunch of programs like that, helping several keystone species migrate north to areas that have become hotter, dryer, and more suited to supporting them."

  "Sort of a Johnny Appleseed of the deserts," noted Ed. "So then, there is more to bikers than sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll?"

  "We outlawed most drugs," said Doll, "but we still like loud music and drink plenty of beer. It's a tough life; you have to have something to help keep yourself going."

  "Here's our first big turn-off," said Snake. The party continued straight while the majority of the bikers turned right onto Route 395 North. There were a half-dozen three-wheeled cycles that looked very similar to Mack in the north-bound group. They would hopefully divert Scar's focus to the East of the Sierra Nevada range. A few miles further Snake led the remaining bikes left and South towards Los Angeles; then soon they turned right and headed west while most of the remaining bikers continued south. In addition to Snake, Doll, and Mack only four other bikers remained with them.

  "Are you guys sure that you know what you're doing?" Ed had to ask. "There's hardly any of us left!

  "We're taking a shortcut on Route 178 directly through the mountains to Bakersfield," answered Snake.

  "Only an idiot would take this route at night," said Doll.

  "Hence that's the way we're going," Ed concluded.

  "Now you're beginning to understand me," said Snake. "Oops! Take it slow here; we have company!"

  Ahead of them dozens of big dark shapes were moving slowly across the road. Ed thought it was a Scar ambush until he got a better look and sensed hundreds of dull-minded herbivores. "Those are long-horned cattle!"

  "Yippee -ki-yay!" said Mary. "Free range cattle!"

  "Don't get close enough to piss them off," said Snake. "Bikers have been speared by those horns!" The horns on many of the big beasts were sharp and well over six feet across.

  "I hear that they taste nearly as good as flies," said Ed.

  The bikers paused several minutes until all of at least a hundred cattle had crossed the road in front of them. "Even the longhorns are having trouble finding enough food around here," said Doll, "so we're moving some of them north and some of them closer to the ocean coast." The beasts were in no hurry and appeared not to be one bit intimidated by the bikers, but eventually they disappeared off the road and into the night. Ed sampled their thoughts and wasn't surprised to find that they were similar to deer in disposition, but much less fearful.

  "This next stretch of road will be the first big test for Mack's mountain climbing abilities," said Snake, as they resumed.

  "And it will be without solar power," noted Ed.

  "And with air circulation and headlights on," added Mack.

  Using hydrocarbon fuel only and traveling uphill, their speed dropped to forty and finally down to twenty.

  "No good!" said Snake. "We haven't even reached Walker Pass yet and there is still worse to come on this trip! We need faster progress if we're going to reach Yosemite Valley late today."

  "What if you tow us?" asked Mary. "Didn't I see rope when we packed last night?"

  "There is a thirty foot length of graphene rope stored aft," Mack confirmed. "Towing is plausible from my perspective."

  "My chopper has a tow hitch," said Doll, "but I'm used to towing two-wheeled trailers that actually add stability; towing something as massive as Mack using a rope could easily mess up my balance and wear out my drive-train."

  "It would be a gentle assist and not a full tow-job," noted Ed.

  "I could actively monitor the rope and guarantee that tension is kept under a hundred pounds," said Mack.

  "Let's limit it to fifty pounds typically and drive smooth and steady," said Snake.

  They found that if rope tension was kept at around fifty pounds they gained five to ten miles an hour without endangering Doll or her Harley. It wasn't much but got them through the pass and up several steep grades that followed without Mack having to resort to using up his stored battery power. Dawn was breaking when they stopped to untie the rope after using it off and on for close to an hour.

  The vacationers noticed that ahead and to the right of the road was a deep barren valley.

  "That's Isabella Lake ahead, when the wet season comes," said Snake. "The road from here will still have a lot of twists and turns and ups and downs but it will be mostly downhill along the Kern River."

  "Does the lake ever have water?"

  "Not so much," said Snake. "This is the southern edge of the Sierra Nevada Mountains and it never had a lot of rain or snow compared to farther north but since the draughts started four decades ago it's been even worse. The hills here get maybe five to ten inches of participation yearly instead of the twenty or so they used to get. In a good year the lake is still only a quarter full after the winter wet season, unless unusual storms come in from the Pacific."

  Nearby as they passed through a small town the travelers topped of their tanks at a gasoline station that actually had gasoline, along with at least ten armed guards. As at the hotel no credit cards or cash was exchanged, Ed noticed, though Snake signed some sort of inventory form. "Every drop of gasoline comes from the North by treaty and is accounted for," the Crew leader explained. "My brother has a crew of full-time accountants to help keep everyone honest. We don't use old-timer cash much but weirdly enough we do have accountants that mostly deal with Cs and Qs."

  The water was also strictly accounted for, the vacationers noticed. Bottles of drinking water obtained also had to be signed for by Snake. Ed couldn't remember the last time he had seen anyone sign for anything; facial, automated eye, and finger print recognition coupled with voice commands had long been the norm in most o
f the civilized world.

  As promised, the remaining drive west towards Bakersfield tended to be downhill and despite mind- dizzying curves through the river canyon they made good time, with Mack getting by on direct solar power and nuclear decay power alone much of the time. They crossed the Kern River on old looking bridges too many times for comfort. "We actually regularly inspect this road's bridges and maintain them well, as this road leads to the lake and that is a key surface water resource," Snake assured the tourists.

  "Of course there usually isn't all that much direct weather damage to roads and bridges around here," added Doll. "When it does rain we do get damaging mud slides, however. Sometimes we even get hurricane remnants."

  Much to the consternation of Snake, Ed and Mary insisted on making occasional stops to take in the scenery, which was frequently spectacular for the two easterners. The rocky canyon was impressive, even though the river itself was almost totally dry. Bare brown mountainous hills towered over the river carved canyon. The broad rock-strewn riverbed suggested that at times the river held hundreds of times more water. Along the riverbed were also trees, but though some were green many of them were dry and dead.

  Mary and the others also used some of the brief stops to relieve themselves discretely behind bushes. Mack pointed out that he could absorb human excrement and make good use of it but Mary rejected that possibility, despite how practical and logical the proposal seemed to be to the Stone-Coat.

  "There used to be plenty of white river rafting, fishing, and camping here," said Snake, as they made their way along the river. "Most of that is gone now, but it's still one of my favorite places."

  "I was going to buy a nifty Japanese camera in LA to take pictures," lamented Ed.

  "Don't worry, I am taking frequent photos and video," Mack reassured the tourists.

  They were particularly struck when the hilly terrain opened up into a huge flat valley that stretched to the north and west further than they could see. "This is the southern end of the Central Valley," Snake explained, tour guide-like, "which is roughly four and a half hundred miles long and fifty miles wide. That's about the size of West Virginia, yet it's only about a seventh of California. This southern part is called the San Joaquin Valley. It used to be a key breadbasket for the world but that's when it had more rainfall and there was enough yearly melting snow to the west in the Sierra Nevada Mountains to support tremendous amounts of irrigation.

  "As climate change took hold there were emergency State laws and regulations, followed by lawsuits and then fierce private wars fought over water rights that you wouldn't believe. The State hired on more California Highway Patrol folks but the CHiPs weren't ruthless enough. That's where we came in. Now our Confederation strictly regulates agriculture and surface and groundwater use. My brother and I spent a decade here establishing control and bringing peace, which believe you me took a lot of killing that the State and the CHiPs didn't have the stomach for."

  "Nothing like a brutal dictatorship to usefully establish control," Ed noted.

  "No offense intended, but I'm rather partial to democracy," said Mary.

  "We're planning on converting back to democracy once everything is settled but there always seems to be wars to fight and rebellions to put down and shattered institutions to rebuild using dictator authority," Snake lamented. "But let's get moving! We have a lot of ground to cover. Before we complete your little vacation we'll drive far north of even the Central Valley."

  "Good," said Ed. "Are we almost to Bakersfield?"

  "I decided to not actually go into Bakersfield," Snake said. "We'll take side-roads around it and head north. Even though Bakersfield is mostly deserted and a Confederacy stronghold loyal to the Brothers there are probably enough Scar spies there to be a threat."

  "Are we going to take a main highway?" Ed asked.

  "If you mean Interstate 5 or Route 99 the answer is no," said Snake. "The side-roads will be slower but safer, and the damage done to them tends to be less extreme."

  "What damage?" Mary asked.

  "Much is flash-flood damage," said Snake. "Climate change has exacerbated the El Niño cycles that bring alternating draught and drenching rain. The plants dry out and die and aren't there to hold the soil or the water when there are greater than ever rain storms. Actually we've purposely destroyed a lot of storm drainage systems that used to carry water away as runoff. We divert surface run-off to places where the aquifers can be recharged. And then there is the ground subsidence, problem. You're the geologist, Doll; tell them about that."

  "Most underground aquifers have been pumped dry, causing them to permanently compact," said Doll. "That causes subsidence in the layers above them, by a yard or two usually. That causes roads, bridges, aqueducts, pipelines, and so-forth that rest on and in them to collapse and break down."

  "Sometimes while you're riding over them" added Snake. "That's no fun!"

  "The big highways can survive minor subsidence induced irregularities, but when they do collapse, it's usually serious, and the trails around the collapse can be extensive and rough," added Doll. "If the road was a dirt road to begin with there is no broken asphalt or concrete to deal with, and it's usually easier for a Storm Crew to shovel ramps through the irregularity without even moving the road. We have Crew folks that travel the roadways regularly and fix them well enough to be passable by cycles.

  "The worst part about subsidence is that the aquifer is ruined. Complex sedimentary processes created them tens of thousands of years ago. The ground can't just soak up water and fix it; once it's gone, the aquifer is gone. So now most melt water and rain water doesn't replenish an aquifer, it becomes surface run-off that is often lost."

  "That's bad!" said Ed.

  "So you're a geologist, Doll?" Mary asked.

  "One of our best," said Snake. "Our big thing is to control water resources. We employ a dozen geologists, five times as many engineers, and several thousand workers to do water and road projects. Oh! And right on que, here is our first dirt road." He turned right onto a dirt/gravel path that didn't even have a name sign, and was followed by Mack, Doll, and the four other remaining bikers.

  The bikes kicked up some dust, but the road was much smoother and straighter than Ed expected, and went on that way further than they could see ahead. The Eastern roads that Ed was used to seeing typically twisted through and around hills, steams, and other obstructions, but here the ground was almost perfectly flat except for occasional dry streambeds that required only small culverts or bridges.

  To each side of the road, dry looking grass, cactuses, and bushes grew, along with small stands of juvenile Joshua trees no more than ten feet tall. "In this area there used to be irrigated fields of carrots, tomatoes, potatoes, melons, and peppers, but now it is reverting to a host of desert species, both native and invasive," said Doll. "We try to boost the native species but there is a lot of savanna grass and other plants from Africa here along with invasive insects and other critters that are all fighting for survival. Hacker likes to say that only Darwin knows what will win out here in the long run and it's probably out of our control. But we do arrogantly try to nudge things just a bit nevertheless."

  They drove through a several acre expanse of tall, dull green grass. "Watch for antelope," warned Snake. "The native prairie antelope like eating and hiding in the invasive savanna grass. There's rumors of cheetahs, mountain lions, tigers, jaguars, and leopards living in the Valley, but that might just be wishful thinking by the hunters that want some excitement."

  "I sense several mountain lions nearby, and condors also," said Ed. "Not as exciting for people as tigers or jaguars, I suppose, but plenty of excitement for the antelope."

  "Once in a while cloned animals are snuck in from the North and released but usually there aren't enough of them to reproduce and take hold," said Doll. "A decade ago we had the start of a black rhino herd but poachers wiped them out."

  "I had mixed feeling about that," admitted Snake. "Rhinos are reall
y cool but sort of dangerous. But something will eventually move in that eats the antelope even more effectively than the cougars and condors though; that's the way that these things go. Nothing gets a free ride."

  Snake slowed down when the road abruptly dipped down a yard and a half by means of a short crude dirt ramp. "Subsidence," said Doll. A quarter of a mile further another short ramp climbed back up to pre-subsidence levels. The motorcycles easily managed but Ed doubted that traditional trucks or autos could.

  To the right a long greenhouse stretched. Through the glass bright green could be seen. "One of our few remaining farms," said Snake. "They use mostly recycled waste-water and ground-water, strictly monitored."

  "And heavily guarded," noted Ed, when he noted two men armed with rifles eye them warily as they drove past.

  "Everything of value has to be closely guarded," noted Doll, "and food and ground water are a matter of life or death here."

  After many miles driving due North they turned left and drive west, and then right again to drive north. The roads were apparently arranged in a grid-like pattern. Half the time Mary slept in comfort, waking only once in a while to sip some water, nibble on a cookie, and then go back to sleep. Ed stayed awake to watch but mile after mile looked nearly the same. It wasn't much like he remembered from fifty years ago. Ed remembered huge fields with orchards, grapes, cotton, and other crops, much of it a rich green color.

  Now the land was dryer and far less cultivated and colorful. The hot unrelenting sun seemed to have caused the entire landscape to fade. Evidence of human habitation had also largely faded away. Homes were scarce and mostly abandoned and falling apart, and there were hundreds of acres of orchard graveyards where dead trees and vines where being overgrown with savanna grass and Joshua trees. Most remaining cultivation was centered within occasional clusters of greenhouses, and most of those appeared to be old and failing apart. Instead of using glass some greenhouses used plastic sheets that over time too readily disintegrated in the hot sun. There were many skeletal remains of greenhouses: twisted rusting metal frames that once shaped glass or plastic but had over the years disintegrated in the hot sun and wind or been cannibalized to keep up other greenhouses.

  "Selected greenhouses though old are in pretty good shape," Mary noted. "OF COURSE THEY'RE SMALL AND DECREPIT COMPARED WITH THOSE BACK AT GIANTS' REST," she added using her implant.

  "Officially breaking a greenhouse pane of glass is only a five-year jail term, but usually anyone caught doing that is shot on sight," said Snake. "That cuts down on both greenhouse maintenance and legal overhead."

  On the plus side wildlife was reestablishing itself throughout most of the Valley, though it was wildlife from hundreds of miles south that was suited to far less water, as well as invasive life from around the world introduced by humans sometimes accidently, sometimes with good intentions, and sometimes maliciously. Ed glimpsed and telepathically sensed dozens of life forms that he couldn't accurately identify: reptiles, mammals, and birds.

  Progress was steady at close to fifty miles an hour except when they were slowed by occasional obstructions. In addition to subsidence there were many places where the roads had apparently been damaged by floods at some time in the recent past. "When it does occasionally rain it is sometimes in the form of storms that can wash out the roads," explained Doll. "Erosion by wind and water is an increasing problem. There isn't enough Plant growth anymore to hold the soil. "

  "I learned in history class that soil loss has brought down many great civilizations in the past," noted Snake.

  "And here I thought that you mostly slept through your lessons!" said Ed.

  Nearly two hours after leaving the river valley, they crossed a major east/west highway. "Hey!" exclaimed Mary. "That old sign back there said that Sequoia National Park is to the right!"

  "That's where the Giant Forest grove is," said Ed. "Five of the ten biggest sequoia tree specimens are there. Or at least they were there fifty years ago."

  "They still are," said Doll. "The Ranger crews have seen to that."

  "This is the outskirts of Visalia, another mostly deserted city," noted Snake.

  "The good news is, housing is cheap here," said Doll.

  "The bad news is, it's because most homes have been abandoned and are falling apart," said Snake.

  "Because the really bad news is, most jobs and people are gone," added Doll.

  "And utilities are only maintained in certain favored parts of town," noted Snake. "Having no public water, sewer, electricity, internet, street repair, or gas is a real downer for city folks. Of course most people moved away decades ago when the worst droughts started."

  "How lucky for them," said Ed. "Explain to us again why we can't go straight to the trees now instead of first going all the way north to Yosemite?"

  "The Ranger Crew has a strict policy against letting any outsiders into their Sequoia groves," Snake explained. "Trying to see a grove without first getting permission at Ranger Headquarters at Yosemite would be suicide, even for a Brother."

  "They guard both their trees and their water very closely," added Doll.

  "But aren't we talking about public parks?" Mary asked. "Public meaning they are supposed to be accessible to any members of the state and USA public such as us?"

  "Not anymore," said Snake. "This isn't even exactly the State of California or the USA anymore. Now the groves are guarded by fanatical tree-huggers. If they approve your visit you'll be their first tourists in decades."

  They continued due north for another hour. They had encountered very little traffic all morning, but as the morning wore on there were more lightweight motorcycles and bicycles, many with attached wheeled carts used to carry goods. They had seen no heavy duty road cruiser cycles like theirs at all. Until now. Abruptly there were twenty cruisers only a couple of hundred yards ahead of them and another dozen equally far behind.

  The travelers stopped to size things up, and so did all the cycles that had been converging towards them. The strangers parked their bikes sideways such that they completely barricaded the road, then crouched behind them for cover.

  Snake, Doll, and their crew pulled Stormtrooper battle armor from storage bins on their bikes and snapped it onto themselves from head to toe in less than half a minute. Though it was white and reflected most sunlight, it was obviously hotter than hell to wear it.

  Doll pulled a pair of binoculars from a saddle-bag, "I see that several wear Scar Crew patches," she soon shouted, over the sound of the idling cycles. "I can't tell if Scar is with them or not."

  "He is not," stated Mack. "I have attempted to identify the faces of all of them without success."

  Several more bikes arrived to reinforce the blockade.

  "They aren't attacking us immediately and this isn't the best place for an ambush," said Snake, as from compartments in his cycle he pulled out an assault rifle and mounted it on one of his handle bars. "I think they intend to keep us bottled up here until overwhelming reinforcements arrive from Fresno. There is a thousand of Scar's crew there, at least, but far fewer of them that he can fully rely on."

  "Their radio messages and signal strengths are consistent with that assessment," said Mack. "Massive reinforcements are leaving Fresno twenty or thirty minutes away. A hundred bikers, I estimate."

  "The ground is too rough for us to go around their barricade," said Doll. "I should know because I was born and raised very near here. This area is too empty of cover for us to escape on foot. They picked this spot well. If they bring in snipers with long-range rifles and armor piercing ammo or some heavier artillery they'll be able to pick us all off from a nice safe distance. We have to get out of here now."

  "Agreed," said Snake. "Our best bet is to blast our way forward and out right away. Sid, Frank, you'll remain our tailgaters. Keep those guys behind us from getting involved. Our other five cycles will charge straight through using rapid automatic fire and our grenade launchers, with me in the lead as road captain, Doll on
my left, and Whip and Hans our wing men. Mack is unarmed and will stay behind me."

  "Well at least it isn't CHiPs and their damned armed UAVs," said Doll. Even covered in white battle armor her feminine curves were evident, but so were her weapons. She was mounting a thick barreled weapon of some sort across her handle bars and trough her windshield, presumably a grenade launcher, Ed figured. "Damn what a woman," he couldn't help thinking!

  "Armed unmanned air vehicles?" asked Mary. "Really?"

  "Fortunately only a few combat UAVs are operational in the Confederacy," said Doll.

  "Hey wait!" said Ed, "charging them sounds like suicide! Don't those jokers from Scar have their own guns and grenades?"

  "They appear to be more lightly armed and armored than us," said Doll. She was busy fitting a big nasty looking automatic rifle into the second gun-port of her windshield. "We need to get through these guys before their more heavily armed friends arrive."

  "I suggest that I go first," said Mack. "Along with my passengers of course. We should lead our charge."

  "What?" said Ed. "Are you crazy?"

  "I am armored and massive enough to crash through their bike barricade," said Mack.

  "At what cost to your passengers?" Ed had to ask.

  "Unavoidably there will be some severe jolting," admitted Mack, "but I calculate that the odds for your survival are maximized by this plan. That is of course assuming that my canopy can survive their weapons."

  Ed was relieved that Mack was quite properly concerned with the survival of his delicate human passengers, but far from convinced that leading the charge was the best way to protect them. He and Mary could much more easily be killed than any Stone-Coat; Stone-Coats were nearly indestructible. Getting blown to bits would merely be an inconvenience for Mack. He could be blown into a thousand pieces and over days, months or years he would eventually simply reassemble himself.

  "Sounds good," said Snake. "With any luck though we'll blow them away before you even reach them. We'll be hitting them with grenades and gunfire. Their bikes appear to be crew-typical and not as armed or armored as ours. They're fools to blockade us! If we're lucky their bikes will explode and be burning even before you hit them. Then we'll high-tail it out of here before their reinforcements arrive."

  "That sure sounds swell!" grumped Ed, as Mack jolted forward using full power.

  "Wack!" Something slammed hard into Mack's windshield a foot in front of Ed's face, causing a loud cracking sound and a small star-shaped area of cracks. If he hadn't been firmly strapped into his seat he would have jumped out of it.

  "High caliber armor-piercing round," noted Mack in his usual calm monotone, as two more such rounds struck near the first one, causing more cracks. From close-by a barrage of return-fire erupted in multiple-round bursts from Snake, Doll, and the other two charging men of the crew. One of the still distant blockade motorcycles exploded in a ball of flame. The bullets stopped striking Mack in the windshield, and the cracks began to rapidly fade away as they were repaired. They had already traveled half the distance to the blockade and were traveling over fifty miles an hour.

  "WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER," said Mary.

  Ed looked down to his right and back and saw Mary cowering on her fully reclined passenger seat, her arms folded over her face as though to stop any bullet that might blast its way through the windshield. Not a bad idea, Ed figured. There was probably danger from shattered windshield diamond that could be mitigated that way. Meanwhile beyond Mary and the canopy Doll was firing her thick short- barreled grenade launcher with devastating effect. Behind and to the left of Mack, Snake's semi-automatic rifle fired burst after burst. Two more blockade vehicles exploded in balls of flame; Ed couldn't tell if it was exploding gas tanks or grenades lobed by Doll or both exploding. The windshield of Snake's big Harley was pock-marked with bullet dings but the shots hadn't fully penetrated yet. Dozens of bullets were meanwhile pinging off Mack's windshield and body harmlessly without even leaving a mark.

  Things were going very well, Ed told himself. As he braced for the impact that was now only a few seconds away, his eyes focused on the barricade ahead. From hundreds of yards distant it had seemed to be a neatly arranged row of nearly identical parked motorcycles, manned by faceless little stick figures. As they got closer Ed could see that half of the barricade bikers didn't even appear to be armed with weapons, and that several were women and teenagers. He telepathically also sensed that most of them were at least as scared as he was. None wore battle armor, and fewer than half wore Scar-Crew patches. What the hell?

  Those wearing Scar-Crew patches had rifles or hand-guns that flashed as they fired at Snake's advancing Stormtrooper Crew. The others seemed to be merely looking on fearfully from behind their bikes.

  "Damn, at least half of them are unarmed civilians!" Doll exclaimed, before Ed could voice what he had learned. "Oh my God! I recognize some of them! They're unarmed local citizens that I personally know!"

  "Fire only on well identified armed Scar-Crew," said Snake. The sound of gunfire continued

  "What's that?" Ed asked. From behind the barricade bikes several rocks were thrown that tumbled onto Mack's path. Ed's eyes went wide as Mack drove over them and Ed realized that the objects were grenades! There was a thunderous noise and a huge jolt as Mack was thrown into the air, landed upside down, and skidded to a stop.

  Ed found himself hanging upside down in the apparently undamaged canopy and was himself also unharmed. He immediately checked on Mary's implant bio readouts. He read an elevated pulse rate and other metrics, but she was alive and well!

  From outside came the sound of gunshots and raised voices.

  "CAN YOU GET ME DOWN?" Mary asked.

  "If I release you from your seat you'll fall," replied Mack.

  "Release me first then," said Ed.

  There was a sound of opening metallic clamps and Ed was dropped a couple of feet down onto his face against the hard smooth inside surface of Mack's canopy, which appeared to be totally intact. Next to him Mary's arms, legs and head dangled down from her harness but she looked alright.

  "Let's not make this a habit," she said, but she was smiling gamely.

  "Are you guys alright in there?" said Doll's concerned voice over Mack's intercom.

  "We both seem to be fine," said Ed. "We are very uncomfortable though. I don't hear explosions or gunshots anymore. Did we win?"

  "Well of course we won," said Snake. "Now let's turn this thing right-side-up."

  Ed's world rocked back and forth a few times then flipped over entirely, and he landed with his face against the seat and his legs jammed under the steering wheel. He felt a rush of hot air as the canopy popped open and strong hands pulled him upright. Snake and Doll, their helmet visors open, were smiling down at him and Mary.

  "Damage is very minor and under repair," reported Mack.

  "Thanks to most fire being directed at you guys the Storm Crew came through without a scratch and all of our bikes are drivable," said Snake. "The folks that tried to stop us have five dead and seven wounded, and six bikes blown to hell. Six Scar-patched bikers escaped on their bikes before we could round them up."

  "Two dead and two wounded are unarmed civilians," said Doll. She glanced towards the still burning line of cycles and beyond it, where a couple of dozen people living and dead huddled, overseen by three of the armed Stormtrooper Crew.

  "Do we high-tail it out of here now?" asked Ed.

  "I don't think so," said Snake, as he and Doll walked back towards the captives, followed slowly by Mack and his passengers. "Change of plan. I think we'll wait here for Scar."

  "So we're waiting here for Scar and a hundred well-armed Scar supporters?" asked Ed. "Swell!"

  "Tell me what the fuck is going on here?" Snake demanded, as he approached the captives. He pulled off his helmet completely and there were gasps from the captives.

  "It's Brother Snake himself," said several astonished people. "And the woman must be China Doll!"
>
  "We got short-wave radio orders from Scar to stop a band of renegade zombie marauders headed north here-abouts, dressed like Stormtroopers," said a scruffy biker wearing Scar patches. "We was to stop them and wait till more help came. We didn't know it was a Brother coming with real Stormtroopers. That's the truth!"

  "We're good Confederacy citizens," said a biker without Scar patches. "We answered the emergency Stormer call and reinforced Scar's Crew. There wasn't supposed to be no shooting when the marauders saw they were outnumbered. But my brother was wounded and he lost his damn bike!"

  "My husband was killed," said a tear-faced civilian biker woman. "He was a good man that always stood up for the Confederacy, but what the fuck kind of fucked-up Confederacy is this?" Angry shouts and murmurings came from the crowd.

  "That's something that I mean to fix," Snake shouted, quieting them. "You've all been hoodwinked into a private feud between me and Scar. It's not your fault."

  "It's Scar's fault," shouted someone in the crowd. "He broke the Constitution!" Angry voices for and against Scar raged. Four more civilian bikers arrived and joined the group.

  "It's my fault too," Snake shouted them down again. "I should have settled my personal business with Scar before this, but I've been slow to give up on the man. We were brothers in arms that fought the Mex and the CHiPs together dozens of times.

  "But less than a year ago the man changed; I don't know why. Now he has gone rogue. He wants war with the State! I tried again and again to talk sense into him, but he wants to invade the North. We wouldn't stand a chance in a full-scale war with the State, and we have too damn many problems to be fighting each other, problems that we need to work together on. Together we can make peace with our enemies and build a better future for ourselves and our children! We need peace and better schools and jobs. But now I've finally come to accept that Scar is only interested in getting power for himself. Maybe that's only natural but this cluster today is the last straw! He must be dealt with as soon as possible!"

  "There's too damn much fighting," said another civilian. "We're tired of fighting." Six more civilian bikers without Scar patches drove in and quietly joined the group.

  "Me too!" agreed Snake. "That's why we already we have a deal in the works with the State and the Feds to take over LA. If we can get the Mexicans to agree we'll take LA without firing a single shot. We'll make treaties with the State, the feds, and with the Mexicans and have lasting peace! We'll have security and all the wars will be over with, hopefully forever!"

  There were happy shouts and murmurs. "That sounds good but we've heard it before," someone said. It was a teenage boy of maybe sixteen, Ed noticed.

  "What about as?" the widow woman asked. "What's our punishment for attacking a Brother?"

  "Back in the day we'd have already been shot," a man noted.

  "You were only doing what you thought your Confederacy duty was," said Snake. "You were hoodwinked and I hold you all blameless, Scar Crew and civilians alike. Those that lost people or bikes deserve and will get full Storm Confederacy warrior survivor benefits, if you'll all swear your allegiance to the Confederacy now!"

  Snake raised his right hand, and so did everyone else except Ed and Mary. In one voice they made a short pledge to the Stormtrooper Confederacy that seemed to be a mix of the US pledge to the flag and some sort of Boy Scout oath. The two armed Crew that had been watching the growing crowd finally put away their weapons and took off their helmets, smiling as they too recited the Stormtrooper Confederacy Pledge.

  "What about these two in the bullet proof three-wheeler?" Asked someone in the silence that followed. It was the teenage boy again. "They didn't make the Pledge!"

  Smart kid, Ed thought, as he stood up in Mack. The kid was as tall as Ed but more muscular. He looked vaguely familiar but Ed couldn't figure out why. "We're visitors from the East Coast. We're Stone-Coat experts that will get the Stone-Coats to help your Confederacy."

  "Hey, I saw you on the internet!" said a woman. The woman moved forward to stand next to the teenager. She also immediately seemed familiar to Ed, possibly because she looked similar to the teenager. "You're Ed Rumsfeld: that white Mohawk Chief that lives with the Stone-Coats! I thought that the Brothers didn't trust the Stone-Coats!"

  Ed was surprised to be recognized; he knew that less than one percent of Confederacy citizens had internet access. This woman had to be some sort of local leader.

  "Trust needs to be earned," said Snake. "The Stone-Coats are working now to earn the trust of the Confederacy. Ed Rumsfeld here is helping us better understand the Stone-Coats and what they can do for us."

  "On the internet they say that those stone monsters can do all sorts of useful things," said the woman. "How do we know that's so?"

  "They have to show me what they can do," said Snake, "and I'm a damn hard customer to sell anything."

  "Ain't that the truth," said China Doll.

  The people laughed. Apparently the Snake/China Doll pairing was common knowledge throughout the Confederacy.

  Doll at last completely pulled off her helmet. The people gasped.

  "It's Amy Bright!" someone said. "Amy Bright is China Doll!"

  "Hi Momma," Doll told internet woman. The woman ran forward to smother Doll in a big hug, followed by the outspoken teenager, who also exchanged hugs with her. Ed heard Doll call the kid Sam. Why mom and teen looked familiar became obvious. Though the mother and son were each a couple of inches shorter and different in age, they were both the spitting images of China Doll!

  "Why didn't you tell me about this?" the woman scolded her daughter. "Your letters said you had a quiet geology job with the Confederacy, not that you're the Stormtrooper Warrior Princess!"

  "I didn't want you to worry about me," said Doll/Amy.

  "Worry!" the woman exclaimed. "You're the most famous fighting woman since Wonder Woman and the biggest hero of the Confederacy there is, except for Snake himself! Oh my God!"

  Snake was standing speechless nearby when Mrs. Bright swung around to face him. Her smile was gone.

  "Snake," said Doll/Amy, "these are my mother Molly and my kid-brother Sam."

  "I've heard good things about you from my brother, Mrs. Bright," said Snake. "You are the civil administrator for this county."

  "For two counties," she corrected. "Why haven't you married my little girl?" she demanded, as she poked her index finger hard against Snake's chest armor.

  "Just never got around to it, Mrs. Bright," Snake responded. "But I'd be damn proud to marry Doll," he managed.

  "What?" said Doll. "Was that a marriage proposal?"

  "I haven't heard one in years, but it didn't sound much like one to me," said Molly.

  "Pretty shitty all right, but it was one, I think," Doll remarked.

  "Oh hell!" said Snake, dropping to one knee. "Amy 'China Doll' Bright, will you do me the honor of marrying this old shit-head James 'Snake' Williams?"

  "You better believe it!" she said, as she pulled him to his feet, then hugged and kissed him with abandon.

  The crowd went wild with cheers, hoots, and laughter!

  "And it better be soon and I better be there to see it," said Molly. "But for now we need to get back to today's business. Scar is on his way here now with more of his men I'm guessing, then I'm supposing that you figure that there is a personal knife fight coming."

  "That's my plan," said Snake. "We have maybe ten or fifteen minutes before he gets here, I'm guessing. Then I'm going to call him out and kill him."

  "Sounds like typical male planning," said Molly. "Let's not waste any of that time, but get to some actual important business. The Stone-Coat website says that Stone-Coats are supposed to be able to do all sorts of things like fixing roads and greenhouses. If you're cozying up to Stone-Coats, assuming that you do survive the next twenty minutes, when the hell are we going to see one of them in action?"

  "You've already done that," said Snake, confusing the crowd. "Tell them about Mack, Ed."

 
Ed hadn't expected this! "Most if you have seen this cycle in action," he said, while glancing down at Mack.

  "Bullets bounced right off the damn thing!" Sam said. "Look at it now! The canopy isn't scratched or even dirty!"

  "This cycle I'm standing in is a Stone-Coat named Mack," announced Ed. "Mack made himself and he cleans and fixes himself."

  "And he even makes his own gasoline," added Doll.

  There were exclamations and murmurs from the crowd.

  "Don't think of Stone-Coats as only being able to make big things like greenhouses or bridges," said Mary. "They can make or do little things too. They make my emery boards for example. Think of all those consumer goods that you don't get from the outside world anymore."

  "Plastic bags with twist-ties," someone said.

  "Can they make cat food and litter?" someone asked.

  "Clothes that aren't worn out hand-me-downs!" said another.

  "Tampons!" said a woman.

  "Umbrellas, in case we ever need them anymore."

  "Extra-large condoms, in case I get lucky," said a big ugly man, "and whisky to help make sure that I do."

  "You'll need more than whisky, Joe," said Molly, accompanied by a round of laughter from the crowd. "Obviously whatever Stone-Coats do for us will have to be sensibly managed. But first they need to prove themselves."

  Ed remained aware that a hundred armed bikers were on their way to kill Snake and friends, including himself and Mary. Whatever more could be done to help win over these people to accepting Stone-Coats would have to be done fast. "WHERE ARE SCAR'S REINFORCEMENTS?" he asked Mack via implant. "AND ARE YOU FIT ENOUGH TO GIVE A DEMONSTRATION RIDE TO SOME CIVILIANS?"

  "TWELVE MINUTES AWAY AND AFFIRMATIVE," said Mack. "REPAIRS ARE COMPLETE."

  "I need two civilians to go on a short test ride in Mack," Ed announced, as he climbed out of the canopy himself and then removed Wheels and helped Mary climb out to sit in the waiting wheelchair.

  "Molly Bright and her son Sam are our best, brightest, and bravest," said a civilian, "aside from Amy of course."

  Apprehensively, the two Brights climbed into Mack as the rest of the people crowded around them, talking excitedly among themselves.

  "There are no controls!" exclaimed young Sam, who had climbed into the driver's seat expecting to do the driving.

  "Sorry, but I do all the driving," said Mack, as his canopy closed over his two apprehensive looking passengers. "Please stand away and let us pass," he announced to the gathered gawkers.

  "It talks!" exclaimed people in the crowd.

  Snake and Doll moved people away from Mack's path of as the three-wheeler quietly began to move forward.

  "I don't hear no engine!" said somebody. "It must be electric!"

  "That is largely correct," Mack confirmed to them, as he moved steadily away. The three-wheeler gradually gathered speed, traveled perhaps a quarter of a mile down the road, then did a U-turn and returned, his gasoline engine by then humming. His passengers were wide-eyed and beaming when Mack popped his canopy open and released their restraints. Aided by their friends they climbed out only reluctantly.

  "Air conditioning!" Molly exclaimed. "Mack has honest to God air conditioning! Would you believe it? I haven't felt air conditioning in thirty years!"

  "He talks like a really nice guy!" said Sam, "and he drives himself! Even with his main engine turned on the ride is quiet and smooth! Girls will love this! I gotta get me one of these!"

  "Yes it's true," said Ed, over the talk of the crowd. "Stone-Coats can be cycles, buildings, or roads, and make all sorts of useful things for people. And they don't ask for much at all in return for payment. Mainly poop."

  "Poop?" Molly asked, as Sam laughed.

  "They literally eat the stuff up and turn it into all sorts of useful things," Ed explained.

  "I think I could afford that!" said a citizen. "Why I just wasted a big payment only an hour ago!"

  "I've got a life's savings of the valuable stuff under the outhouse in back of my place," said big ugly Joe. "I'm a shitting rich man and didn't even know it!"

  "What if they fixed the roads to North California and to the Pacific coast?" someone said. "We could have trucks coming here that each carry a hundred times more supplies than a cycle trailer can! I don't know how the hell we'd pay for it though."

  "Don't get too carried away, folks," said Ed. "Some of the things they do take years to complete. Building a greenhouse from scratch might take two to four years, for example."

  "Hell's bells, building a greenhouse from scratch takes me at least that long now anyway by doing hard labor!" said Joe. "Now you're telling me that I only need to shit to have one made for me? No problem!" He and many of the others surrounded Mack eagerly, poking him and asking him questions.

  "Getting people to accept Stone-Coats might be far easier than you expected, Snake," Mary remarked to the Confederacy dictator.

  "Under the radar the few people that have the internet have apparently been doing some thinking and talking about Stone-Coats on their own," Snake quietly replied.

  "So then Snake, when can we have some Stone-Coats of our own?" asked Molly Bright.

  "I'm not sure yet," Snake answered. "There is a lot on our plate right now."

  Crowd grumbling.

  "We're headed for Yosemite right now to talk to Stone-Coats and Rangers about it," said Ed.

  Crowd groans.

  "You better have something damn good to trade with them," said Molly. "Those Rangers are tight-fisted, hard bargaining bastards. Even more so than us, and that's saying something."

  Meanwhile Snake and his crew put their helmets back on and were readying their weapons and watching the roads for Scar.

  Ed checked the time and saw that Scar and his crew were several minutes over-due. "WHERE ARE SCAR'S REINFORCEMENTS NOW?" he asked Mack.

  "Based on radio chatter all of Scar's Crew are twenty-minutes away and receding fast," Max radioed to Snake's whole Crew.

  "What?" exclaimed Snake. "Instead of being here by now that places Scar's Crew halfway back to Fresno!"

  "Sounds good to me," said Ed.

  "Scar isn't coming here, folks!" Snake announced loudly to the crowd. "He's headed back to his Fresno stronghold!"

  A small cheer erupted from the ever-growing gathering of local citizens. Even the bikers wearing Scar patches looked relieved.

  "SHOULD I TAKE MORE CIVILIANS FOR A QUICK RIDE THEN?" Max asked. "THEY KEEP ASKING ME." Indeed most of the citizens encircled Max and were talking with him and climbing in and out of his cockpit. More than a dozen more civilians including children arrived and were soon catching up on events.

  "Why don't Wheels and I entertain the crowd while Molly and Sam make plans with you, Doll, and Ed?" Mary asked Snake. Without waiting for a reply she rolled in Wheels towards Mack. "Who else wants the next ride in Mack?" she announced. "And did I mention that my wheelchair is also a Stone-Coat? Who wants a ride in him? His name is Wheels." Mary, Wheels, and Mack led the excited remaining crowd away, leaving Snake, Doll, and Ed alone with Molly and Sam.

  "Scar must have gotten reports on what has happened here," Doll reasoned. "Some of his men cowardly took off when they saw that they were losing. Scar won't strike unless he has a clear advantage and there are too many civilian witnesses here now for him to pull anything else shady."

  "I was hoping to kick his ass for good!" said Snake, his hand on the hilt of his big hunting knife. "He caused the deaths of innocent civilians here and that simply can't go unpunished! I'm putting a Storm bounty out on him here and now!"

  "We'll spread the word on what happened here today," said Molly. "Nothing short of killing him will get rid of him, but I can guarantee that he'll lose a lot of support. No offense Snake, but people can be fickle about their leadership."

  "I'm tempted to go after Scar right now!" said Snake. "Nothing burns me up more than someone screwing over civilians! Why he had Doll shooting at her own family!"

  "That's p
robably what he wants you to do," said Doll. "You go into Fresno now and you're a dead man."

  "Amy is right," said Molly. "Scar has a core of loyal followers in Fresno that would rig things for him or maybe even kill you all on sight. You wouldn't stand a chance. We'll send official statements to your brother that charge Scar with betraying us and the Confederacy. Worse for him, we'll spread word of his shameful acts all around Fresno. Meanwhile you should continue on to Yosemite and look into getting us some Stone-Coats. That will boost Brother support, along with your words about working to end all wars. All of that will weaken Scar. Maybe you won't even need a knife fight. Besides, Scar is one tough dude and I'd hate to lose a potential son-in-law so damn quick, even an old fart of one like you."

  "Well, I still want that knife fight," said Snake, "and he'll be crazy mad and want one too. But it looks like it won't happen today. I don't understand it but it is what it is."

  "We better get going then," said Doll. "We have less than three hours of light left and still have over sixty miles to go to enter the park and reach Ranger headquarters, and there might be more of Scar's Crew still looking for us up ahead. In fact if I were him I'd ambush us somewhere in the hills between here and Yosemite. Is Route 41 still the best the way to go?"

  "No way Sis!" said Sam. "A bridge and another stretch of highway were washed out last winter. You'll have to take the side roads through Friant, O'Neals, and Wishon."

  "There are new road openings and closings nearly every month," explained Molly. "I'll get one of our men to guide you."

  "I'll do it," said Sam. "Nobody knows those roads better than me."

  "No damn way," said Molly and Doll simultaneously. An argument between Sam and his mother ensued. After a few minutes Molly announced that Sam would indeed be their guide but had to return home afterwards with a Stone-Coat. "One with air conditioning," she insisted.

  Snake shrugged in resignation and the deal was made.

  Doll, Sam, and Molly exchanged a family hug while Snake began to stoically remove his Stormtrooper armor and pack it away into his saddle-bags. The biker/dictator looked a little stunned.

  "That's quite a family you're marrying into," Ed told Snake. "Oh, and congratulations on your upcoming marriage."

  "Shit," the biker responded. "That was worse than a knife fight. Let's get the fuck out of here before they saddle me with the mother-in-law too."

  "That's just the way these things go," Ed remarked.

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