by Harlow Layne
Her hand drifted, cupping my neck, pulling me to her. It was possessive and desperate at the same time. Fuck, this was going to be much harder than I thought. But I knew I needed to be strong for her.
“I love you,” I whispered into her mouth.
“I love you.” She barely managed to sob out before her lips crashed into mine. Winding her arms around my neck, she pulled me even closer. When my tongue slipped inside for one last taste we both moaned, knowing it had to end.
Getting out, the cold January air sobered us up as we stood beside the SUV taking each other in for the last time. The next two months were going to be the longest of my life. Even knowing I'd be busy shooting, I knew missing Alex would be at the forefront of my mind each and every day.
Taking the one step that separated us, I pulled her into my arms for one last hug. Her arms wrapped around me so tightly, not wanting to let go. Neither did I. This was where I belonged. Alex was my home and I was leaving her. I couldn't fight the tears that blurred my vision any longer. Burying my head into her neck, I breathed in her coconut scent one last time before pulling away. It had to be now or never.
“I'll call you the moment I get home, okay?” My voice broke on the last word causing Alex’s head to whip up in a look of shock. “This is just as hard on me as it is you. I'm going to miss you like crazy and I love you so much.”
“So much.” She barely got out before more tears started to stream down her already tear stained cheeks.
Taking a step back, I grabbed my luggage. “I gotta go.”
Nodding her head, Alex watched me go from her spot on the sidewalk. It wasn't a big airport so there weren't any workers or overhead announcements saying she had to leave or that parking was for loading and unloading. Instead, everyone took their time as they said their goodbyes and moved inside.
“I love you!” Alex called out the moment the doors opened for me and a gust of warm air hit me. Turning to look at her, I let a tear break free as I saw her slumped against the car door watching me bleakly.
My mouth ran dry at seeing her pain, but I pushed past it to tell her how much I loved her too. Then without looking back, I strode into the airport before I said fuck it all and never left Alex’s side.
11
Pulling up in front of Decker’s house, the house I’d lived in for over a decade, I took in a deep breath. With twenty minutes until I was supposed to pick up Mason at his grandparents’ house, my ex-husband sent me a text informing me I was to pick up my son at his house instead.
Getting out of the car, I looked around and noticed that the yard looked neglected and there were no lights on in the house. I took in a deep breath and slowly let it out before I rang the doorbell. It had been awhile since I last laid eyes on my ex-husband. Usually I picked Mason up at his grandparents’ house, which I preferred.
A long moment passed before I heard Decker pounding his way toward the door. It sounded as if an elephant was loose and trampling through the house. The door swung open and I sucked in a breath at the look in his eyes. If possible, his pitch-black eyes would have sliced through me as he glared down at me.
I wanted to take a step back, but knew I needed to stand my ground. I couldn’t show him any weakness. It was predator against prey around him at all times.
Lifting my chin, I prevailed against my instincts. “Where’s Mason? I want to make sure he’s had dinner and a bath before bed and it’s getting late.”
A grunt emanated from deep inside before answering. “At my parents.”
Taking a calming breath, I tried not to lose my shit. He’d been the one to inform me I needed to pick up Mason at his house. “Why did you text me telling me to pick him up here then?” I asked as calmly as possible.
His eyes narrowed into slits. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
“About what?” I asked innocently. I could tell he was itching for a fight and I wasn’t going to give him more than he already knew.
“Don’t pull that bullshit on me.” He demanded taking a step forward.
Still I held my ground. Not showing any weakness.
“You’ll have to be more specific. We don’t talk so I’m sure there are plenty of things you don’t know about me.”
“Oh, I know. I’ve got people and they tell me what you’re up to.”
Doubt it.
Still I kept quiet.
With his arms straight at his sides, Decker’s fists clenched as he took me in. I knew I looked good. Better than I ever had while being married to him. I was toned from working out, my hair was down with fresh highlights, and I was dressed the way that made me feel good about myself. Not like the clothes I’d previously worn so that he wouldn’t think I was ‘trying too hard’.
“Are you still with that…” he scrunched his nose in disgust.
“Luke.” I finished for him.
“I don’t know the assholes name. Are you?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I am, and I don’t see that changing.”
Ever, I wanted to add but didn’t.
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that if I were you,” he sneered.
“I’m not going to discuss my relationship with you. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go pick up Mason.”
“I found out who your boy toy is. Is that why you moved?” His jaw ticked as he ground his molars together.
Shaking my head, I stood firmly in my spot when what I really wanted to do was to get in my car and speed away. This was the moment I’d been dreading, and now more than ever did I wish Luke was with me.
“No, I moved because I got an amazing deal on a house and couldn’t pass it up.” I answered truthfully. Even if Luke wasn’t in the picture, I would’ve bought the house. The only difference was that I wouldn’t have been able to furnish it for the next ten to fifteen years like it was now.
“By whoring yourself out?” he spat.
“If that’s what you want to think then that’s fine. I know I’m not going to change your mind.”
I knew once Decker got something in his head there was little anyone could do to change his mind and I didn’t care or have the energy to try. I had no more shits to give concerning my ex-husband.
“That’s what’s going around town. That you whored your way into a new house.” He smiled vilely down at me.
“And I can only guess who started that rumor.” Him. “It makes no difference because I know the truth and that’s all that matters.”
“Really? What are you going to do when your boy toy’s deported? Who’s going to pay for that house of yours then?” he sneered.
A triumphant smile spread across his face and all I wanted to do in that moment was smack it right off. Instead, I put my hands in my jean pockets and rocked back on my heels.
“First off the house is paid for so nothing is ever going to happen to it and second, Luke isn’t going anywhere.”
“What makes you so sure? All it would take is one little call to the right office stating that he’s threatened Mason or more, and he’ll be out of the country lickety split. Visa revoked.” His smile grew into an ugly menacing grin.
“Are you threatening me?” I asked, my jaw clinched.
“Me? I would never.” Decker stated innocently.
The fuck he wouldn’t.
“I think with all that money you seem to have come into there’s no need for me to give you my hard-earned income every month. Now that you’ve got your sugar daddy, why should I have to pay child support for a kid I rarely see anyway?”
If it was possible, I was sure that smoke would’ve come out of my ears. It was Decker’s decision not to see Mason. He was the one who always unloaded our son on his parent’s or had them pick him up. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t the one who made him pay me child support every month - it was the state. If he wanted to stop paying that was fine by me, because maybe then he’d get his ass thrown in jail and if I was lucky I’d be awarded full custody.
Having full custody had been a dream si
nce the moment the judge gave Decker any rights to Mason. If only they would have listened to what Mason wanted or how Decker had treated him all of his life, then maybe it would have gone my way, but the judge wouldn’t hear a word saying that Mason was too young and didn’t know what he wanted. That it was possible I’d been coaching him to say negative things about his father. I didn’t need to coach Mason for him to say how Decker had neglected him all his young life.
“Cat got your tongue? I can see that you know I’m right. One day not too long from now, when everything crumbles around you, you’ll wish you never left me. Mark my words.”
There was nothing else I could do but gape at him. How was he so delusional? There was no way in hell I’d ever go back to him. Even if Luke broke up with me tomorrow leaving me broken hearted, I’d rather die than be with him again.
“Now you really should go pick up Mason. It’s getting late and I’m sure my parents will need their rest after having Mason all weekend long. I know he wears the shit out of me when I have to spend any time with him.”
With that he turned and slammed the door in my face.
What the fucking hell had just happened?
Did he really believe all the shit he spouted?
Fuck him and fuck that.
Not in a million years.
12
Luke
Alex was hunched over her MacBook, her smiling face greeting me as she answered our nightly FaceTime call.
“Hello, beautiful. How are you today?”
Placing her hands on her chest, Alex’s eyes tried to focus on me, taking a little too long. “Have you been drinking?”
“What else am I supposed to do? Mason is at his dad’s and you're all the way in California. I'm all alone.” Her lower lip stuck out in a pout looking cuter than ever.
“If I could, I'd be there with you. I’d hold you, kiss you, and make love to you.”
Closing her eyes, she smiled probably imagining all the things I’d just told her. “I know you would. Only one more week to go until I get to see your handsome face in person.” She bit her bottom lip as if she had something else to say but was unsure. Uncertainty won out as she kept quiet and watched me get comfortable on my new couch.
During the little down time I had between shooting, sleeping, and working out, I'd been trying to finish furnishing the house I’d bought before Alex and Mason arrived. I wanted it to feel like a real home not just a pit stop for when they were here.
“Are you excited for Leo to be there in a couple of days?” She asked before taking a sip of her drink. Her glassy eyes focused back to me and smiled again.
A smile grew on my face. I missed my family so damn much and Face Timing with them wasn’t nearly enough after not seeing any of them in over a year. Like it wasn’t enough with Alex.
“Your smile says it all.” She grinned back making me long to kiss her. “I can’t wait to meet Leo. Even though I’ve only talked to him a few times I already love him.”
“He loves you too.” Boy did he ever. Never had my brother liked any of the women I’d dated before. Not even in high school, but Leo asked about her every time we talked.
“It’s going to be hard to have sex with Mason and Leo around.” She blurted out and her face flushed. “I miss sexy times with you.”
“Leo won’t care, and Mason’s room is on the other side of the house, or you’ll just have to be quiet.” Alex was never quiet when we had sex. It was as if she was making up for all the years of never being able to make a noise during sex. As for me, I didn’t care, but I knew she didn’t want Mason or Leo to overhear us. I’d do whatever made her comfortable and to not have negative feelings about our sex life. Now that she wasn’t in that tiny house we wouldn’t have that problem. She could be as loud as she wanted, and I couldn’t deny that I loved I was the only man that had ever brought her to orgasm. Never would she go without again. If anyone was going to be denied it was me.
“We’ll figure it out when we get there. I don’t think Mason will have a problem being on the other side, but I want to make sure he’ll be comfortable.”
“I’ve been working on his room a little and I think he’ll like it. Lots of Marvel movie posters on the walls, with bedding to match. I may have even bought him some action figures that he already has to keep here.”
Alex sniffled as her lips tipped up in a sweet smile. “What did I ever do to deserve you? You’re the absolute best. You’re going to spoil him if you’re not careful.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a little spoiling every now and then. I may want to spoil you too.”
I watched as her face almost became alarmed. “No,” she shook her head a little too fast. It was a wonder she didn’t get dizzy from the movement. “You’ve already spoiled me too much. I don’t need anything, but you. Just you, Luke.”
“That’s good to hear. Did you have something on your mind earlier?” I asked hoping that she’d tell me what was on her mind and off the thought of me spoiling her and Mason. It didn’t help that I hated the thought that she was keeping something from me.
She shook her head no as her eyes flicked up and down the screen of her computer then nodded her head. “Maybe, but I don’t want to ruin our talk or my buzz.”
What could she possibly have on her mind that would ruin our talk? Was she having doubts? Everything up until that moment had seemed fine. I knew that she missed me, but she had seemed to be handling the long distance.
When her ex found out they had moved, and he couldn’t get into the neighborhood, he tried to make her life a living hell with constant phone calls and texts. It got to the point that she had gotten a new phone and number and kept the other one only for her limited communication with Decker. To top it all off, he had found out that she was dating someone, but he didn’t know who yet. It seemed he had forgotten about me from the day of the funeral. Maybe he thought I dumped her. It didn’t matter.
“Okay,” she almost shouted with her eyes closed. “I need to know. Are you going to have to move back to Sweden?”
“What?” I laughed, but quickly contained it at the look of worry on her face. “No, I don’t plan to move back there any time in the near future. Maybe when we’re old.” I shrugged. I liked the idea of us living there once we were in our fifties or maybe older. “Who knows what we’ll want to do?”
“Who knows? You do! Are you going to have to move back?”
“No,” I shook my head reiterating what I’d said previously. “Why do you ask?”
“Someone put into my head that you might get deported or your visa might expire, and you’d have to go back.”
“Who the hell put that in your head?” My tone rose to the point of shouting, but I managed to reign myself in before I lost control. This was what she was worried about and I needed to relieve Alex of her worries that I’d be taken from her. Perhaps her ex had figured out who she was dating and was trying to get into her head. Whoever it was, they were no friend of hers if they were talking shit they had no clue about. “I have dual citizenship, so I can choose to live whichever place I choose. I have an apartment that I keep in Stockholm now that most of my family lives there. We all have places very close to one another and they look after mine. I think most of the time Leo lives there because he’s there every time we talk.”
Tears filled her eyes as she watched me speak. Once I was finished, one lone tear escaped as she sat still staring at her screen. Talk about a complete one-eighty. Was this because she’d been drinking or something more?
“I’m sorry I’m keeping you away from your family.” She frowned and took a large mouthful of her drink.
“Would you drink some water for me?” She nodded her head and produced her always present water bottle taking a big swallow. “Thank you. Now please listen to me. You are not keeping me from my family. The commitments that I made, and their schedules, are what’s keeping us apart. Yes, I could have gone –”
I needed to choose my words carefully or they could
be misconstrued especially in her drunken state. I wanted to say home but knew that those were the wrong words. Sweden had been my home for as long as I could remember until I met Alex. She was now my home and I wanted to be where she was.
“For Christmas, I could have gone to Sweden to spend some time with my family, but I wanted to be with you. I thought we needed that time for us to grow and spend more than a few days together at a time. In the long run, I have no doubt that there will be plenty of Christmas’s, many other holidays, and vacations that we’ll spend in Sweden or elsewhere with my family.” I took a deep breath as I took in her face. “You need to remember that it’s a two-way street and they can come to visit me as well. I don’t begrudge them for being busy and they understand why it’s been so long since I’ve seen them, and what’s kept me away.”
She blinked a couple of times before she spoke almost too quietly for me to hear. “Thank you for that, but I still feel guilty.” Lips turned down, she twirled her ponytail around her finger. “I wish you didn’t have to choose.”
“Baby, its fine. Don’t worry about it. One day you’ll have full custody and you can go wherever and whenever you want with Mason. Until that day, we’ll make the best of it. It’s no hardship.”
“It was Decker,” she blurted out, face red.
“What about him?” I was confused. What had the asshole done now?
“He was the one that put the idea of you being deported into my head. He found out who you are and is so pissed. Not that it matters, he would’ve been irate no matter who I dated. Even if he was some short, bald man. The only thing that would make him happy was if I found some man who abused me or if you broke up with me.”
“Not going to happen.” I fumed. Now wasn’t the first time I’d thought about paying him off to stay out of her and Mason’s lives. It would be worth it so that he didn’t pull anymore shit.
“He threatened to stop paying child support. Maybe then he’ll get in trouble and I can get full custody of Mason. That would be a dream.” She said the last wistfully.