The maid seemed surprised by the question but answered, “No. Your husband hired me a week ago. My job is to take care of your bedchamber, your laundry, and anything else that your lady’s maid doesn’t do.”
That was nice of him to dedicate a maid specifically to you, Emilia. Already, she could hear her mother and father saying this to her, and as much as she didn’t want to think it, they would be right. She not only had a lady’s maid, but she had another maid at her beck and call.
Just how much money did Benjamin have for all that he was doing? He wasn’t secretly in debt, was he? She didn’t think she had a right to ask since she was a lady. Her parents would be displeased if they found out all of the expensive things he owned had no backing in actual wealth. If she could prove something like that, they might be appalled enough to insist she move out of the townhouse. Was it possible that they could demand her dowry go to her so that she’d live in comfort for the rest of her life? She had to investigate further into Benjamin’s financial wellbeing, or lack thereof, at some point.
She reached the drawing room and saw that Benjamin and Roger seemed to be having a good discussion about fox hunting as they stood by the desk where Benjamin was pouring everyone a drink.
“It’s a marvelous sport,” Benjamin said. “I’m just not talented at it. In the five years I’ve engaged in the activity, I only caught one fox.”
“That’s because your technique is wrong,” Roger replied. “It’s really not that hard. I can teach you how to improve if you want.”
Lilly, who’d been standing by one of the windows, hurried over to Emilia as soon as she noticed her. The two gentlemen were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn’t notice them, so Emilia pulled Lilly out of the room.
Once they were in the hall, Emilia whispered, “Thank you for coming. I didn’t know how I was going to get through the evening any other way.”
“I should thank you for inviting us,” Lilly whispered in return. “I had no idea Roger and Benjamin would get along so well. I’ve only seen Roger talk this much with Aaron.”
Thinking of Lord Northton, Emilia asked, “Is Aaron coming, too?”
Lilly shook her head. “No. He’d rather hang himself than be stuck in a room with ladies in it.”
“You’re exaggerating.” Emilia had heard that Roger’s friend didn’t care much for ladies, but he couldn’t be that opposed to them.
“I don’t know. Every time I’m around, Aaron looks as if someone just put a lemon in his mouth. You remember what I told you about that conversation Benjamin, Aaron, Roger, and Lord Edon had while we were at White’s?”
“The one about Adam and Eve?” Emilia asked.
Lilly nodded. “Aaron thinks ladies are evil. All of us.”
“Yes, I do recall you emphasizing that, but it’s absurd that he’d think that all ladies are evil.”
“It is absurd, but it’s what he thinks, and because of that, there’s no way he’ll be at any dinner parties with us.”
“Well, I don’t want him here anyway. I only wanted you and Roger to come this evening. I would have invited Kitty, but she has no husband. It would have been awkward for her if she came alone.” After a moment, she gestured to her face and gown then spun around. “What do you think? Do I look like a wallflower?”
“You do. I almost didn’t recognize you when I saw you. It’s amazing what some jewelry, a fashionable gown, and a flattering hairstyle can do for someone.”
“You should have seen me earlier. I wore that brown gown that looks like a potato sack.”
Lilly grimaced. “I know the gown. Whoever created it shouldn’t be able to make any more gowns. You look like a young gentleman in it. It doesn’t bring out any of your flattering features at all.”
“Which made it perfect for earlier today. I want Benjamin to find me unattractive, remember?”
“I do remember, but that gown is the most repulsive thing ever created. What did Benjamin say when he saw you in it?”
“He said I looked lovely.”
“What about the expression on his face? Did he look like he had a lemon in his mouth?”
Emilia sighed in disappointment. “No. He didn’t give any indication that he found my appearance repulsive. I don’t know if he even noticed.”
“Maybe he was being polite. He seems to care very much about you. He probably didn’t want to hurt your feelings by pointing out how ugly you look in that thing.”
“Maybe.” It was possible that Benjamin was being polite by not saying anything, but after having time to think about it, she wondered if such was really the case. “I got the impression he didn’t notice.”
“He had to have noticed. He’s not blind.”
“Well, if he did notice, he did a wonderful job of hiding his revulsion. I had to go to another tactic.” Face warm from embarrassment, she added, “I told him how disgusted I am by the furniture in the drawing room.”
“Did that work?”
“No. He’s going to buy new furniture tomorrow, and he wants me to be with him so he can make sure I’m happy.”
Lilly’s eyes grew wide. “Really?”
Emilia nodded. “I feel terrible, but I can’t tell him I was only complaining because I want him to be disenchanted with me. I can’t let him find out what I’m doing.”
“I know.” Lilly winced. “The furniture in that room is exquisite. It can’t be more than a couple years old.”
“He said he got it two years ago.”
“Two years?”
“I feel awful. I don’t even know if he can afford new furniture. What if he is in debt? What if he told my father he was financially secure in order to marry me? What if I’m going to bankrupt him?”
“I don’t think he’s in debt. He gave you that lovely necklace.” Her eyes lit up. “Bring it down here so I can see it. The gems are just lovely. I didn’t have time to count all the different ones.”
“I haven’t seen it.”
“You haven’t? Didn’t he give it to you?”
“No. As soon as I mentioned how my father doesn’t care for Captain Egan because he’ll go to America, he decided not to give me the necklace because it might upset my father if he knew the gems came from his ship.”
“Will it upset your father? Maybe you can use that to your advantage. Your father might insist you not live here.”
“My father might not like Captain Egan, but he adores Benjamin. He won’t mind where the gems came from.”
“In that case, we need to tell Benjamin so that you can get that necklace. Oh Emilia, it’s such a gorgeous thing. You’re going to fall in love with it.”
Emilia stopped her friend before she darted into the room. “No, I can’t take it. What if those gems will be needed to pay for the new furniture?”
“Who needs furniture? That necklace is worth sitting on the floor for.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Tell Benjamin you changed your mind. Go into the room and say that the furniture is fine. Then you can wear the necklace without any guilt.”
“I can’t tell him the furniture is fine after all the fuss I made earlier today.”
“Sure you can.” Lilly offered a wicked grin. “You could use the ploy to further your plan. If he reminds you that you hated the furniture, be contrary. Argue with him. Gentlemen want ladies who are agreeable. If Benjamin thinks you’ll change your mind at any time, he’ll be uncomfortable with you.”
“And if he’s uncomfortable, he won’t want me around.”
Lilly offered a satisfied nod. “That’s what I think.”
It was a mean thing to do, but it was better than having him waste money on more furniture. “All right. I’ll do it.”
“Oh, there you two are,” Roger called out from the doorway of the drawing room.
Emilia and Lilly looked over at the two gentlemen who were heading over to them. Emilia forced her feet to remain firmly planted in place as Benjamin stopped next to her.
“What are
you two doing out here?” Roger asked.
“We’re ladies,” Lilly replied. “We had to have a moment to share secrets. We can’t share everything with our husbands.”
Benjamin laughed, and Emilia pretended not to notice the snort that went along with it. Lilly gave a slight wince but was able to keep a polite smile on her face.
“Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes,” Benjamin said. “We still have time to sit and talk in the drawing room.”
“I believe Emilia and I have discussed all of our secrets for now,” Lilly replied. “We will be happy to join you two.” She accepted Roger’s arm and returned to the room.
Since Emilia had no choice, she put her arm around Benjamin’s. She supposed it wasn’t so bad this time. The desire to pull away wasn’t there like it’d been when he touched her earlier that day. Forcing a smile, she let him escort her into the room.
“I neglected to say this earlier, but Benjamin, you have beautiful furniture,” Lilly said.
Taking that as her cue, Emilia offered an enthusiastic nod. “It is nice.”
Benjamin glanced around the room in surprise. “Really? What piece of furniture do you like?”
“All of it.” Emilia let go of his arm and walked over to the table she’d condemned earlier that day. “I especially adore this table.”
“This one?” Benjamin didn’t hide his surprise as he approached it.
She laughed as if he’d just said the silliest thing. “Of course, I mean this one. Don’t you see how flawless it is?”
“Flawless?”
“Yes. Not a single scratch anywhere. What do you think, Lilly? Isn’t it in pristine condition?”
Lilly went over to it so she could scan it. “It is a lovely table.” She lightly tapped on it with her knuckles. “Solid, too. I bet fine craftsmanship went into making it.”
“That’s what I think, too,” Emilia said.
“Well, I suppose it looks better at night,” Benjamin thoughtfully stated. “The sun isn’t bringing out its flaws.”
“Nonsense.” Emilia waved her hand at him. “It’s an excellent table no matter what time of day it is. In fact, it goes splendidly well with this gorgeous settee.” She gestured for Lilly and Roger to sit on it. “Tell me what you two think. It’s the most comfortable thing I’ve ever sat on.”
“It is?” Benjamin asked, his eyes so wide that she feared they might pop out of his head.
“It is,” she replied.
Lilly and Roger sat on the settee, and Lilly gave her a wide smile. “It is exceptionally comfortable.”
“But I thought you said it was drab,” Benjamin told Emilia.
“After having another chance to see it, I changed my mind,” Emilia said. “In fact, I change my mind about everything in this room. I like it all. I don’t want you to get rid of a single thing.”
Roger lightly bounced on the settee. “It’s like any other settee. I don’t see what’s so special about it.”
“You have to be a lady to notice it,” Lilly said. “Our bodies are built differently. We require finer furniture than you gentlemen do.”
Roger gave her a bewildered look as if he couldn’t believe she gave him that kind of response.
“But earlier today, you wanted new furniture,” Benjamin told Emilia.
Emilia narrowed her eyes at him, hoping he would assume she was getting upset. “Are you arguing with me?”
“No, of course not,” Benjamin said. “I would never argue with you. It’s just that I distinctly recall—”
She gasped. “You are arguing with me. And on our wedding day.”
He hurried to shake his head. “No, I’m not. Especially not on this special day. I’m sorry. I must have misunderstood. Marriage is all new to me. I have much to learn. Please, accept my apologies. I take all the blame for this.”
Emilia glanced at Lilly and noted the shock on her friend’s face. Emilia didn’t know what to do. He was supposed to get angry with her. She was intentionally being difficult. But here he was, saying whatever was necessary in order to appease her. What gentleman ever did such a thing with a lady?
“I’m not sure there’s anything to apologize for,” Roger spoke up. “If there was a misunderstanding, then it’s no one’s fault.”
“It is my fault,” Benjamin insisted. “I’m so inept when it comes to understanding people.” He stiffened. “I sent out a missive asking a gentleman I know to make new furniture. I’ll have to send another missive. I don’t think it’s too late to do that. I’d hate for him to reserve tomorrow for me when he could do business with someone else.”
As Benjamin hurried to the desk to write a missive, Emilia did her best not to shoot Lilly a startled look. Why hadn’t Benjamin argued back with her? She had said she didn’t like the furniture. He had every right to point out her hypocrisy. Even if he wished to spare her from embarrassment in front of her friends, he could have stood firm in a polite way.
“I don’t understand what the problem is,” Roger told Lilly.
Lilly patted his hand. “They barely know each other. This is the first day they’ve been together for more than a few minutes at a time. I’m sure he misunderstood what Emilia was saying earlier today. As you said, there’s no reason for anyone to be sorry.”
Roger seemed to be satisfied with the answer. Lilly’s gaze went to Emilia, and she offered Emilia a sympathetic look. Emilia felt a little better. Her friend understood how troubling this whole thing was. Benjamin, it seemed, was so determined to be with her that he didn’t understand how terrible of a wife she was being.
Benjamin pulled the cord on the wall then returned to them. “I’ll have the footman take this missive. The butler will let us know when dinner is ready.” Then he hurried to the doorway.
Forcing aside her guilt, Emilia sat in a chair and took a deep breath. This was better than having him purchase new furniture. She just had to keep telling herself that because watching him rush around doing everything he could to please her was hard to watch. She’d never come across anyone so eager to make her happy. Getting him to insist on separate townhouses was going to be harder than she’d expected.
Benjamin returned and sat beside her. “That’s done.” Then he gave her a cautious look. “You really like this furniture?”
“Yes, I do,” she forced out, hoping he didn’t detect the edge of guilt in her voice. “What’s not to like, right Lilly?”
Lilly nodded. “Right. It’s a gorgeous room. Nothing needs to be changed.”
Benjamin relaxed. “I wanted to make sure.” He settled back into the chair and crossed his legs. “Thank you for coming over for dinner,” he told Roger and Lilly. “I know there wasn’t much time for you two to get ready to come over here when I sent the invite.”
“We’re happy to be here,” Lilly said. “It’s nice to get a chance to get to know you better, Benjamin.”
“It is,” Roger agreed. “I didn’t realize we had so much in common.”
“That’s probably because I don’t often play chess,” Benjamin said. “I have a terrible time deciding where to move my pieces.”
That didn’t surprise Emilia. He seemed to have trouble making up his mind on anything, except for marrying her. That was the one thing he hadn’t wavered on.
“Chess is a game of strategy,” Roger said. “You need to move your pieces so that you can take your opponent’s pieces.”
“Yes, but doesn’t it make the other person happy when they win?” Benjamin asked.
Roger laughed. “Everyone is happy when they win, but they would rather win when the other person gives them a challenge. No one wants the victory handed to them.”
“Oh.” Benjamin’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought over what Roger had just told him. “I never thought of it like that. Are you saying it’s best to pretend to be winning and then let them win at the end?”
“No, I’m saying that you should play to win.”
“But if I won all the time, wouldn’t that upset my o
pponent.”
“No one wins every time they play.”
Though Benjamin nodded, he didn’t reply.
Emilia couldn’t think of anyone else who played chess with the intention of losing for the sole purpose of making the other person happy, but given how he’d reacted just now over the furniture, it didn’t surprise her. She wondered how Benjamin got to be like this.
The butler came into the room and announced that dinner was ready.
Benjamin hurried to his feet and held his arm out to her. Since touching him a few minutes ago hadn’t been so bad, she ventured to touch his arm again. Thankfully, it was all right to touch him this time, too. Breathing a sigh of relief, she let him lead her out of the room.
Chapter Five
The last thing Benjamin wanted to do was upset his bride, but he just wasn’t ready to consummate their marriage. He’d thought he would be brave enough to go to her bed when the marriage was arranged. He’d even been excited by the prospect of it. Then, as the wedding day got closer, fear and doubt began to seep in.
What if he couldn’t please her in bed? More than anything, he wanted to make her happy. He didn’t have the same romantic skills other gentlemen did. It was why he hadn’t dared to do more than touch her arm or hand. He just knew the moment he made a romantic gesture, she’d find him lacking. And that worried him more than trying to make sure she was satisfied with the furniture in the townhouse.
He delayed having the conversation about the evening’s sleeping arrangements for as long as he could. He encouraged Emilia and her friends to play charades for as long as he could, but when the evening grew late and everyone started to yawn, he knew he couldn’t put off the inevitable any longer. He was going to have to talk with her.
Once Roger and Lilly left, he turned from the doorway of the drawing room. He opened his mouth to speak but realized he didn’t want any of the servants overhearing what he was going to tell her. He didn’t think they made it a habit of listening to his conversations. They seemed to be good about keeping to themselves, but this was such a delicate situation that he was better off not taking the risk.
Nobody's Fool (Marriage by Design Book 2) Page 4