Emilia shook her head again. “Benjamin chooses an unusual way to interpret things people say and do.”
“I know. He is so in love with you that you could set him on fire and he’d still want to share his townhouse with you.”
“You’re probably right.” Emilia had never encountered anyone so hopelessly devoted to another person before. Any other gentleman would have forced her out of his townhouse already.
“You have to admit it’s sweet. It’s nice that he’ll love you no matter what. And,” Lilly added, “that includes you going to a gentlemen-only foxhunting estate disguised as the Duke of Marrow.”
“I don’t know, Lilly. It seems that there’s only so much even Benjamin could take. In your case, it was Roger’s idea for you to go there as Mr. Squire.”
Lilly let out a sigh and wrapped a few strands of her hair around her finger for a few seconds before her eyes lit up. “Maybe that’s what you need to do to convince Benjamin to finally get rid of you. Unlike Roger, he might be appalled at the idea of his wife disguising herself as a gentleman to sneak into a foxhunting establishment where ladies are forbidden to partake in the sport.”
Emilia narrowed her eyes at her. “You don’t believe he’ll be so appalled he’ll want to get rid of me. You think he’ll be fine with it, just as he’s been fine with everything else I’ve done.”
“It doesn’t matter what I think. What matters is what you think. You’ve tried everything you’ve thought of to dissuade him from falling in love with you. What have you got to lose by trying this?” She shot her a wicked grin. “Tell him you have to go with me to visit my sister. We’ll say that my sister sent a missive saying she is in a dire situation and needs our help. Tell him we’ll be gone for a few days. Then we’ll have Roger insist he join him for foxhunting so that he has something to do to pass the time while you’re gone. Before they start foxhunting, we’ll show up as Mr. Squire and the Duke of Marrow. Then we’ll spend the day with them in our disguises. When you return here, you’ll tell him you were the Duke of Marrow. If he’s not disgusted with you for dressing up as a gentleman to sneak into the estate, then he might be upset with you for deceiving him about it. Whatever you do, don’t tell him I’m Mr. Squire. I don’t want to do anything to harm Roger’s reputation. He loves foxhunting there, and I don’t want to ruin that for him.”
“I won’t mention anything about you being Mr. Squire or Roger knowing about this scheme. Your secret is safe with me.”
“I figured I could trust you. We did go to White’s together.”
Yes, and despite the fact that Benjamin ended up being there, it had been fun to be in a place where they weren’t supposed to be. But it was fun because no one found out. No scandal had resulted from it. Things would have been completely different if they’d been discovered. Although, she had to admit, part of the thrill of the experience had been the possibility of getting caught.
“I’ve never been foxhunting,” Emilia said after a long moment. “What do they do at this estate?”
“There’s not much to it,” Lilly replied. “Most of the time, you’re following the hounds.” She gave Emilia an encouraging smile. “Some of the time you’re tracking a fox on foot, but most of the time, you’re on a horse.”
On a horse? Emilia hadn’t realized she’d get a chance to ride a horse. “I’ll go!” she exclaimed before Lilly could say anything else to convince her to do it.
Lilly seemed surprised that she hadn’t needed to do more persuading, but she cheered and said, “We’re going to have so much fun.”
“But we’re not going to tell anyone else about it.”
“Of course not. If we mentioned this to another soul, we’d both be in serious trouble. It’s our secret.”
“A secret we’ll share with Roger.”
“And you’ll share with Benjamin, but he won’t find out until you let him know you deceived him.”
“You don’t believe he’ll tell anyone.”
“Oh, I know he won’t,” Lilly said. “After all I learned about him, he’s someone you can trust. Also, he’d never do anything to bring you shame. He cares far too much for you.”
Emilia waited for Lilly to say something like how she was a fool to keep rejecting him, but Lilly just picked up her cup and sipped her tea.
Well, at least Lilly wasn’t going to give her a difficult time like she had at the ball. That, in itself, was a relief.
“It’s a shame Kitty misses out on all the fun we have,” Lilly said after a long moment.
“Kitty wouldn’t want to go,” Emilia replied. “She doesn’t even like riding horses. She also hated dressing up as a gentleman that time you went to visit Mr. Robinson.”
“I forgot that she didn’t like to ride horses. Yes, she definitely wouldn’t want to go foxhunting. Though, she might if we went to a place where ladies were allowed to follow the hounds in a carriage.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Emilia asked. “Being on a horse is much better than being in a carriage.”
“Kitty would argue with you about that, but she’s not going so it doesn’t matter,” Lilly said. “This is going to be an adventure. You might enjoy it so much, you’ll want to do it again.”
Emilia wasn’t so sure about that. She had no desire to return to White’s. Once had been enough. But, she was looking forward to doing this excursion. It might even be a relief to get away from the swirling emotions that had been plaguing her ever since she got married. Finally, she’d get a reprieve from everything.
What a great plan, Emilia. You’ll get a reprieve from Benjamin by spending the day foxhunting with him.
She forced aside the snickering part of her. She wasn’t going to focus on that part of things. She was going to focus on riding the horse. As Lilly had said, this was going to be an adventure, and it was one that she was determined to enjoy no matter what came as a result.
***
“I think you’ll like foxhunting at this estate,” Roger told Benjamin as they played chess in the library. “There’s a sense of camaraderie with the gentlemen who go there that you don’t get at other foxhunting places. I credit that to the owner. He loves the sport more than most. You can tell that his heart is in what he does. I’m sure he makes good money, but money isn’t his primary desire.”
Benjamin wanted to say he’d go. The more Roger talked about it, the more he thought he’d enjoy it. The only thing that held him back was Emilia. He knew it made him a lovesick fool, but he liked being near her. Even if they didn’t spend the night in the same bed yet, it was nice to know she was nearby. If he went to this estate, he’d be gone for an entire night. He realized being away from her for such a short time was a minor thing, but the part of him that was ruled by emotion felt that even one night was going to span an eternity.
A knock came at the door, and he was spared from having to give Roger an answer right away.
Roger excused himself and went over to the door.
Benjamin glanced at the chessboard. It was his turn, but he didn’t think there was a move he could make that would give him an advantage. Roger had probably won this game without realizing it.
“I hope you don’t mind the interruption,” Benjamin heard Lilly say.
Surprised, Benjamin got up from the chair and walked over to them. He didn’t see Emilia until he was standing next to Roger.
Lilly turned her attention to Benjamin. “I just received word from my sister that she’s in a dire situation. I hope you don’t mind if I take Emilia with me to go visit her. She’s at her husband’s estate.”
“What happened to her?” Benjamin asked since she had directed the comment to him.
“I’d rather not say,” Lilly replied. She turned her gaze to Roger. “We’ll be gone while you go foxhunting, but we should be back by the time you return. Then you can tell me how things went with Benjamin, Mr. Squire, and the Duke of Marrow.”
“Mr. Squire will be able to go foxhunting?” Roger asked.
“Of
course, he will,” Lilly said with a laugh. “Mr. Squire wouldn’t miss it for anything.” She turned back to Benjamin. “I don’t want to go to my sister’s estate all by myself, so I’ve asked Emilia to go with me. I hope you don’t mind.”
Benjamin glanced at Emilia. “No, I don’t mind, though I’ll miss her. If you’re going to be out of London, I think it’s best if you have a traveling companion.”
“In that case, you will be able to join me for foxhunting,” Roger told him.
Yes, Benjamin supposed that was true. His gaze went to Emilia. “Would it be all right with you if I went foxhunting?”
Emilia’s eyes grew wide with surprise. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want. You’re the gentleman.”
“I might be a gentleman,” Benjamin replied, “but I’m also your husband. When I married you, we became one. What I do affects you.”
Lilly nudged Emilia in the side, and when Emilia looked over at her, Lilly gave her a look that had to mean something, but he had no idea what that meaning was.
Emilia’s face went pink before she turned her gaze back to him. “I don’t mind if you go foxhunting. I think you should. You rarely do anything fun.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Benjamin said. “I’ve been spending time with you. I’ve never had more fun in my entire life.”
Lilly gave Emilia another look, but this time, Emilia didn’t bother acknowledging it.
Since Benjamin wasn’t able to decipher this look any better than the other one, he decided to stop trying to figure it out. What gentleman could understand a lady? He directed his attention to Roger. “I’ll be happy to join you for foxhunting.”
“That settles it then,” Roger said with a grin. “You won’t regret it. Once you’ve been to Lord Browning’s estate, you won’t want to hunt for foxes anywhere else.”
By the excitement in Roger’s expression, Benjamin surmised that Lord Browning’s estate truly must be the most impressive foxhunting establishment in England. Benjamin had heard of some notable ones, but this might surpass even his expectations.
“We also came to see if you two would like to play a game of cards,” Lilly said.
When Roger hesitated, Benjamin replied, “We might as well. You already won the chess game, and I didn’t even do anything to let you win. I was doing my best.”
Roger chuckled. “All right. We’ll play cards. I wouldn’t want you to suffer a humiliating defeat. I want you to be in good spirits tomorrow when we hunt.”
Benjamin laughed along with him and followed the others to a table where they could play cards.
Chapter Thirteen
Emilia studied the contents of her small trunk the next morning. Everything she needed for the Duke of Marrow disguise was in there. If she was only bringing gowns, she could have gotten away with a valise, but as it turned out, the wig, the fake beard, the stuffing to give herself a potbelly, the clothes, and the large boots required more room than was in a valise. Her valise was in the trunk, however, and that contained her lady’s items.
She closed the lid of the trunk but couldn’t get rid of the wave of apprehension that crept over her. Was she making a mistake? Should she stay here? Maybe she was better off sending Lilly a missive and telling her she wasn’t going to Lord Browning’s estate.
When she was talking to Lilly yesterday, the plan seemed like it would be fun. But she’d had time to think over it while in bed last night, and she thought of all the things that could go wrong. What if her wig or beard fell off? What if she acted too much like a lady, or what if she accidentally started to speak in her normal voice? What if Benjamin, or some other guest at the estate, figured out she was really a lady? Sure, Lilly had gotten away with it, but that didn’t mean she would.
A knock came at the door connecting her bedchamber with Benjamin’s. Surprised, she went over to it. She experienced the same strange fluttering in her chest that she’d experienced yesterday. She paused and put her hand over her heart. What was going on with her? Should she cancel her plans with Lilly and seek out the attention of a doctor instead?
Benjamin knocked again, and this time, he called out her name.
Forcing aside the second round of flutters in her chest, she opened the door.
“I hope it’s all right that I used this door instead of the one in the hallway,” he said.
“Yes, it’s all right.” Why would a husband need to go all the way into the hall to come to his wife’s room when there was a perfectly good door connecting their bedchambers?
He stepped into her room and turned to face her. “I was thinking about Lilly’s sister. If someone is close to death, then going foxhunting would be wrong. Roger and I should join you two.”
“No, it’s nothing as serious as that,” Emilia hurried to assure him. All she needed was for him to discover she’d lied to him. “Her sister is just worried about something. She needs someone to bring her comfort. She’ll be fine once Lilly and I talk to her.”
“Lilly’s sister has a husband. Isn’t he with her to offer her comfort?”
Up to now, Benjamin hadn’t thought to question anything she’d told him. She had tried in vain to get him to think on a deeper level so that he would realize she wasn’t a good match for him. But at every single turn, he had gone on with the day blissfully ignorant of how much she had wanted out of the marriage. It was just her luck that he was beginning to question what she was telling him now.
She thought over everything Lilly had told her about Claire, and after a moment, she said, “Claire’s expecting a child. She needs guidance.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “But neither you nor Lilly have had a child. Wouldn’t Claire’s mother be a better person to go out there?”
Alarmed that he had brought up an excellent point, she asked, “What does having a child have to do with it? I’m a lady. Lilly is a lady. That’s really all the requirements that are necessary to speak to a lady who is expecting.” When it looked as if he wanted to point out the flaw in this reasoning, too, she added, “This is something far too complicated for gentlemen to understand. They never have to bring a child into the world. It’s a lot of responsibility. If it weren’t for us, there would be no people in the future. The fate of the world depends on us. Knowing this can be a terrible burden for ladies.”
He considered her words then said, “I never thought of it that way before. When you put it like that, a lady’s role is taken for granted.”
“I always thought ladies weren’t appreciated enough.”
“You’re right. They aren’t. But a lady has more value than having children. I like to think God created ladies to complete gentlemen. I enjoy talking to you and spending time with you. Before we married, I only felt like half a person. Now I feel whole.” He glanced at her trunk. “It looks like you packed for more than a couple of days.”
She’d been so caught up in the lovely way he expressed his view of ladies that it took her a moment to shift her mind to his question. She cleared her throat. “Oh, well, it’s hard to know how many outfits I’ll need. As Lilly said, I’ll be back in time for you and Roger to return from foxhunting.”
Benjamin offered a nod but said, “That’s a quick trip when you consider how far away most gentlemen’s estates are. Just getting to my estate takes two days.”
She’d never been out of London. She had no idea how long people took to go to estates or how long they typically stayed to visit. Since she didn’t know what else to say, she ventured, “I’m only going by what Lilly told me.”
“All right.”
Noting the uncertain tone in his voice, she asked, “Is something wrong?”
“Well, it just occurred to me that you could be using this as an excuse to leave me.” He let out a chuckle that bordered on apprehension. “But that’s silly. You’ll be with Lilly. It’s not like you’re running off all by yourself.”
“I’ll be with Lilly the whole time,” she assured him. “If I were to leave, I’d take all of my things. As it is, I’
m only taking this small trunk. There’s barely enough in there to get me through a week.” She didn’t know why she was trying so hard to put his mind at ease, but it suddenly seemed like the most important thing in the world that she do so. “I’ll be back here. I’m not sure exactly when. I think it depends on how long it takes to help Lilly’s sister.”
She glanced away from him. She was beginning to rethink this whole scheme. Maybe she shouldn’t go foxhunting. Maybe she should stay here and encourage him to go. If there wasn’t that part of her that wanted to ride a horse so badly, she would do that. But she loved horses. If she didn’t take this opportunity to go to Lord Browning’s estate, she might not get another chance to ride one.
Benjamin took another glance at the trunk and relaxed. “I’ll miss you while you’re gone, but I hope you have a safe trip and that you and Lilly can help her sister.”
“I’m sure everything will be fine. A simple talk should make things better.”
A few moments of awkward silence passed before he asked, “Can I have a kiss?”
She hadn’t expected him to ask for a kiss, but given the fact that he thought they’d be apart for a while, she wasn’t surprised. She was surprised, however, that she wasn’t as repulsed by the idea of kissing him as she’d been when they first married. In fact, she wasn’t even slightly disturbed by it. Kissing him might not be so bad. She wouldn’t know how it would be until she did it. And it would settle the question that had been in the back of her mind this entire time: was it even possible to kiss someone with a nose as large as his was?
“Yes, you may kiss me,” she said.
She couldn’t understand why he wiped the palms of his hands on his waistcoat until he told her, “Whenever I’m with you, I get so nervous that my palms get sweaty.” He offered her a sheepish grin. “All gentlemen probably experience this when they’re with a lady who embodies everything that’s ideal about the gentler sex.”
Nobody's Fool (Marriage by Design Book 2) Page 12