“I’m sorry.” Ryan looked regretful and placed the frame back down with a gentleness I didn’t know he possessed. “I didn’t mean to upset your mum.”
“Don’t worry about it. That’s the most emotion she’s shown in months. It’ll do her good to act like a human for a while.” I felt guilty the minute those words came out of my mouth, but I couldn’t take them back. The woman had lost her son, her eldest child. I didn’t have any right to be bitter, and I felt like an asshole, so I sat down on the windowsill and sighed.
“Must be a laugh a minute in your house.” Ryan gave me a sympathetic smile.
“It could be worse. I shouldn’t complain. I have nothing to complain about. Apart from losing my brother, but then, all families have their sadness. Mine is no different.”
I wasn’t fishing for sympathy. If anything, I wanted a lifeline out of the sea of despair that me and Mum had drowned ourselves in over the last few months. I wanted to live my life. I knew if Danny was here, he’d be telling me to do just that, but sometimes it was hard. Like trying to wade through treacle every day.
Some days were easier than others, but every day that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was what I woke up to. I think that’s why I’d been drawn to the whole illegal party scene that Ryan and the others offered. It helped to numb the pain and gave me another focus.
“I know it hurts. I can see it in your eyes. Let me help you,” Ryan said, taking small tentative steps towards me.
“I think it’s best you leave.” I stood up, not able to look him in the eye, and walked over to the door, holding it open to show him his morbid little tour had come to an end.
“When my mum died, there were days when I couldn’t even get out of bed. None of us could.”
I held my breath. I knew Ryan was sharing something sacred with me now, and as much as I wanted him to leave, I wanted to know more.
“My dad didn’t shower or get dressed for weeks. The garage lost customers and we almost went under. It was awful. Three boys and my dad, all left to fend for ourselves. You can imagine what a shit-show that was.”
I nodded, but my mouth had gone dry. I couldn’t speak.
“But one day, I felt her. Sounds crazy I know, but I felt her at the side of me… And her voice… She told me I needed to be strong for my dad and my brothers. I knew it was her, because that’s exactly what she would’ve said if she’d still been alive. So, I put a notice in the garage window to say we were open, but for carwash and valeting only. I was only a kid. I didn’t know how to fix cars then, but I knew how to wash them, and I wanted to do whatever I could to help my dad. Word must’ve gotten around ‘cos a few people showed up and I washed their cars for them. An hour later, I noticed my dad had joined me and was washing right alongside me. My older brother, Liam, he joined us soon after that. The next day, we were open again, business as usual. My dad’s worked twenty-four-seven ever since.”
He came to stand in front of me and stroked my cheek as a silent tear fell down.
“They never leave us, Emily. Ever. Danny will always be with you.”
“I know,” I managed to hiccup. “Thank you.”
Ryan nodded sadly and then motioned down the hallway.
“Is that your room?”
I turned to look at my bedroom door that still had the unicorn plaque with my name on it.
“How did you guess?” I smirked and then my mouth dropped open when he walked past me and headed down the corridor towards my bedroom. “You can’t go in there.”
“Why not? I want to see your room.” The cocky Ryan was back in full force. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to march over to my door, thinking he could go anywhere he pleased. He had no shame.
He turned the door knob and strode right in, standing in the middle of my room and turning around to take it all in.
Watching him, seeing him standing there, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Ryan Hardy was in my room and it felt forbidden but enticing at the same time. How could he do that? Have my heart breaking one minute and flipping over the next. He turned to face me, and I felt like he’d sucked all the air out of the space around me. He wasn’t just standing in my room, he was dominating it. Making everything else fade into the background.
My mum had kept the décor pretty neutral with cream walls and pale pink curtains and bed linen. There was the usual clutter of girlie memorabilia scattered over my shelves. Photos of Liv, Effy and me at high school, alongside those of my family. I felt embarrassed about the number of soft toys I had sitting on my bed and along the window. I was eighteen, but my bedroom made me look like I was twelve. Ryan didn’t seem to mind though. He picked up a beanie baby unicorn from my pillow and squeezed it, then smiled. Not a nasty smile, just a smile. Then he walked over to my dressing table, where my make-up, creams and perfumes were neatly stored. He picked up my perfume bottle, Alien by Thierry Mugler, and he sniffed it, closing his eyes as he did. Was that his way of smelling me? Whatever it was it made my stomach clench.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” I said with zero conviction. In a twisted way, I kind of liked it.
“I think this is exactly where I should be.” He put the perfume bottle down and walked over to where I stood by the door. Then he reached up and brushed a stray hair from my forehead, tucking it behind my ear and making my breath catch in my throat. “I think you’ve been alone for long enough. We both have.”
I was struck dumb. He stepped further into me and I moved backwards. My back was flush against the door jam and my heart was beating so fast I could hear it drumming a steady beat in my ears. He leant down towards me and I froze then melted into him all at the same time. He smelt divine, intoxicating even. Like freshly washed linen on a summer’s day, mixed with a gentle hint of cologne and a scent that was uniquely him. Having him so close did something to me that I’d never felt before in my life. It made me yearn for more. I wanted to be reckless and lose myself in him. In that moment, I wanted everything with him.
He closed the distance between us and his nose grazed the side of mine so delicately it made my heart flutter. Then his lips touched mine in a gentle soft kiss. I didn’t push him away. I couldn’t, even if I tried. I wanted this as much as he did. His lips were warm and tender, and they made me hungry for more. I groaned, and he pressed his body against me, his hands skimming over my jaw as he held me in place and deepened the kiss.
He glided his tongue along my bottom lip and I opened up to him, letting him taste me and explore with his tongue. He tasted just as good as he looked, like sin and sweetness all wrapped in one wickedly ruthless package that I couldn’t help but fall for. This kiss, it was what I’d waited for all these years. He was what I’d waited for.
We stood there at my door, our tongues twisting and stroking, our lips fused together in the most sublime way. I never wanted it to end. Ryan’s bubbles were the ultimate, but this? This was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. I could feel my body sparking to life, wetness like I’d never known pooling in places that’d usually make me blush, but today, I didn’t want to hold back. I could feel how turned on he was too, as he ground his hips into me and the thickness in his jeans rubbed against me. The kiss turned heavier, faster, more urgent and then…
“What the bloody hell is going on here.”
We jumped apart at the sound of my dad’s booming voice breaking through our joint hypnotic lust-filled haze. I gasped, my eyes darting from Ryan, who was touching his lips like he couldn’t quite believe where they’d been, and then my dad, who looked like he was about to get out the family shotgun, if we actually owned one that is.
“Dad. I thought you were at work,” I said in a breathy voice. The ground opening up to swallow me right about now would’ve been awesome.
“I can see that,” he said, his voice dripping venom. “I came back home because I felt guilty for leaving without saying goodbye to your mother. But that’s beside the point. What the fuck is he doing in your room?” He gl
ared daggers at Ryan and then took a step towards him. “You’re not welcome here. I thought I’d made that clear a long time ago. Stay away from my daughter.”
Ryan smirked and then looked right at me. “Never gonna happen, sir.” He turned to face my dad, looking like he was squaring up for a fight and I knew I had to intervene.
“Ryan’s just leaving. Please, Dad. Don’t make this a big deal.”
Ryan muttered something about it being a big deal, but I grabbed his hand, stalked past my dad and headed for the stairs.
“If I ever see you in my house again I’ll call the police,” Dad bellowed over the bannister.
Ryan just looked back up at him and grinned. “I’d expect nothing less from a man who has half the police force in his back pocket.”
Dad’s face turned a worrying shade of scarlet, but I didn’t want to stay around for the impending fireworks, so I dragged Ryan to the front door and out onto the porch.
“I’m sorry. He’s-”
“An asshole,” Ryan finished for me.
“What did he mean when he said ‘I’ve already warned you to stay away?’ I thought you’d never met my dad?”
Ryan rubbed over his jaw in thought and then gave me a hooded, guarded look. “I came here once, with Danny. Your dad took an instant dislike to me. Can’t think why? After that, we decided to meet up at my place or anywhere away from here.”
“Danny never mentioned anything.”
“Why would he? Look… Em. Don’t try and read something into this. It’s nothing. Your dad didn’t like his son being mates with a poor kid, that’s all. I wasn’t from the right side of town and he could tell. Probably wanted to keep me away from his beautiful daughter too. But that’s never gonna happen. Not now.”
He smirked and stroked my cheek as he moved closer towards me and my heart and stomach did that little flip thing again.
“If he thinks for one minute I’m going to stay away from you, after that kiss, he’s got another thing coming.” He bent down and planted a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll see you soon, little Winters. Very, very soon.”
My brother, Connor, he’d always told me, “Leave them wanting more,” and usually I did. But not today. Today, I was the one who’d walked away feeling like I wanted, no, needed more. It was like I’d left a part of me behind when I left her. What fucking right did her father have to warn me off? It might’ve worked when I was younger, and he didn’t like me knocking about with Danny, but that didn’t wash anymore. Not where she was concerned. Daddy Winters needed to get used to the fact that his little girl wasn’t little anymore. She was so fucking beautiful and so fucking mine.
Reluctantly, I made my way back to the garage to start my shift. Not that I’d be much use this afternoon after what’d happened with Emily. I had a feeling I was gonna be spending the rest of the day reliving the moment when I made her mine. That, and getting lost in thoughts about the other ways I was gonna show her what she meant to me. I was done playing games. I wanted her more than anything, and if I wanted to make that happen, I had to step it up, be the guy she needed me to be.
I pulled onto the forecourt and saw Brandon chatting to Connor over the hood of an old Aston Martin we were fixing up.
“Not working today, slacker?” I said as I shut the door of my van and walked over to join them.
“Got half the day off,” Brandon shot back. “Although, God knows why I thought it’d be a good idea to spend it here with you fuckers.”
Brandon worked at a local gym. It was shit money, but he got unlimited use of the equipment and he could stare at girls running on the treadmills all day, so it worked out great for him. He made a ton more from the fighting though. He could make in one night what he earned in a month at the gym by doing one fight. Those events were a lifeline for all of us. I had my cars, Zak was a whizz at computers and Finn worked in a call centre, but without the parties our asses would be broke as fuck. It gave us the revenue we all needed to pursue other things. Not to mention the thrill we got from doing it was off the charts. We were still scoping out the next venue. Finn had his heart set on an old pumping station just outside of town. He said it was the perfect setting to channel his creative flow. Thing was, the cathedral of sewage was overrun with rats and shit. As awesome as it looked on the outside, the inside smelt like death and would probably lead to it too. We had to have some standards.
The three of us headed into the office. I could stretch to making Brandon a coffee and then he’d either have to help out or fuck off. We had work to do. Dad and Kieron were sitting at the front desk, going through paperwork and other stuff.
“Nice to see you decided to drop by,” Dad said, trying to sound sarcastic, but he knew I was the hardest worker here, and I knew he didn’t mean it.
“Thought I’d better show my face at some point.” I headed into the tiny room we called a kitchen and flicked the kettle on, setting the mugs out ready with everyone’s order. I didn’t need to ask what they all wanted, I made them hot drinks most days. As the kettle bubbled away, I stepped back out and froze when I saw Chase fucking Lockwood standing up at the desk, grinning like a loser. Brandon was flaring his nostrils and holding himself back for my dad’s sake. Connor was frowning and looking between Brandon and Lockwood, trying to gauge what the problem was and probably deciding whether he needed to duck out the way or join in.
“What the fuck do you want?” I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t want this punk here at my garage, looking down his nose at us like he was doing us a fucking favour using Dad to service his car, or rather, penis extension.
“Ryan, watch your language.” Dad turned round to give me a dirty look for dissing one of his customers, but when he saw the anger coming off me, he backed down. “Is there something going on here that I don’t know about?” He turned back to look at Lockwood, who just shrugged like the pussy he was.
“I don’t think your son likes me.” He smirked and fished his car key out of his back pocket. “But then, you don’t have to like me to valet my car and take my money, do you?”
This dude was begging for my fist to connect with his smug-ass face. And just to further his cause, he carried on…
“I need it ready for Friday. I have a hot date.” He looked past my dad, towards me again and sneered. “With Emily Winters, so I need it sparkling. Gotta impress my girl.”
I fucking lost it.
“Bullshit,” Brandon spat as I lurched across the office space and flung the little gate dividing the front customer area from our desks open. Brandon came to stand next to me and Connor stayed by the door, grinning and rubbing his hands together. He loved a good fight. Dad stood up from his chair.
“I don’t know what game you’re playing coming in here, son, talking shit about our Emily, but I suggest you leave. Your business isn’t welcome here.” The fact that Dad had called her “our Emily,” made me bristle with something… Pride, maybe? I don’t know. Dad had barely spoken to her, apart from when she collected her car that one time. But it felt good to know I had everyone behind me. Dad threw the keys back over to Lockwood and they fell on the floor. Guy couldn’t even catch like a man.
“Whatever. I’ll be sure to tell her you said hi when I see her.” He stooped down to pick up his keys, but Brandon kicked them away.
“She wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole, mate. I think you must be on something. Maybe it’s best you don’t drive? Wouldn’t want you to get pulled over for being under the influence of whatever it is you’re fucking smoking.” Brandon lent down and picked up the keys, tossing them in the air and catching them again. “And we’ll say hi to Emily for you when we see her later. Good luck with that date on Friday, you know, the one with your right hand.”
Connor laughed and Lockwood grinned and shook his head. I tensed, ready to shut his shit down once and for all.
“Whatever you want to tell yourself, man. I’m surprised Kian, your little lap dog, didn’t tell you. He was there when I asked her. He saw the whole thing.�
�
What the fuck?
“Maybe because he knew it was bullshit and never gonna happen,” Brandon said getting right up into Lockwood’s face and stopping me from pummelling him into our cheap linoleum floor.
“You need to do one, Lockwood,” I said, gritting my teeth and clenching my fists. “Do you like hospital food or something? Because if you carry on the way you are, that’s all you’ll be eating for the next few months.”
Lockwood took a few steps around Brandon, eye-balling him as he did. Mother fucker had more balls on him than I realised if he wanted to goad Brandon. Then he turned to face me.
“You’re really tough when you’ve got your guard dogs on standby, aren’t you?”
“I can go one-on-one with you any time, mate.” I went to step into him, but the coward moved away.
“Young man, I think you need to leave. Because if my sons or their friend don’t kick your ass out soon, I will.” Trust Dad to get the final say.
Lockwood sneered again and then ripped his keys out of Brandon’s hand and headed for the door, bumping Connor’s shoulder as he did.
“Oh, I’m going, old man. Like I’d trust a bunch of hillbillies like you to do a good job on my car.”
Me and Brandon followed him outside. He wasn’t gonna get away with calling us names. Not when he was the biggest dickhead in this town. And as for disrespecting my dad and dissing this garage? He was a dead man walking.
“We’d do a good job on your car all right.” I picked up the jet-wash hose that was lying on the ground close by. “We always do a really thorough job.” I pressed the lever and the water shot out, drenching his ridiculously over-priced trainers and making him do a stupid dance to try and avoid the jets of water that were drowning his feet.
“And if you’re not off our property in the next sixty seconds, it’ll be the inside of your shitty car that gets the next wash down.” I splashed the front of his car, then threw the hose back down, folding my arms over my chest and giving him a look of disgust.
Renegade Hearts (Rebels of Sandland Book 1) Page 14