Beautifully Broken Life (The Sutter Lake Series Book 2)

by Catherine Cowles

  The lines of worry in Taylor’s brow deepened. “What do you mean?”

  I studied the brown liquid swirling in my cup. “It’s not my story to tell.”

  Taylor searched my face, deciding whether or not to push for more information. Whatever she saw there made her back off. “Okay. She’s lucky to have you. I hope you two can work it out.”

  “We will.” There was no other option, because this life I was building with Tessa, even one hidden in the shadows, was sweeter than anything I ever imagined. I switched gears to a safer topic. “How are things with you? Any luck on the job front?”

  Taylor’s expression brightened. “I have an interview at Sutter Lake Elementary next week.”

  I grinned. “T, that’s great.”

  She settled back in her rocker. “I really hope I get it. I hadn’t realized how much I missed teaching until I started tutoring Noah. I’m ready to get back to it.”

  I took another pull of coffee. “You have a great resume. They’d be a fool not to hire you.”

  Taylor laughed. “You sound like Walker.”

  “Well, he’s right. How are things with you two?”

  A starry-eyed softness settled on Taylor’s face. “We’re great.”

  I was about to make fun of my clearly head-over-heels friend when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and tapped the screen, hoping it was Tessa. Who was I kidding? If anyone was head over heels, it was me.

  Dan – Label: We have a situation. The press got word late last night about your fan attempting suicide. They’re concocting all sorts of crazy stories about you two being romantically linked, and you dumping her before the attempt. They’re bribing everyone and their brother, trying to figure out where you are. You need security. Tell me where you are so I can send them.

  I felt the blood drain from my face. Before, I had just been a celebrity the paparazzi hadn’t seen in a while. Now, they would be desperate for information. Rabid for photos. And if they found me here… Tessa. Fuck.

  I jumped as a hand grasped my forearm. Taylor leaned forward. “What’s wrong?”

  My phone buzzed again.

  Dan – Label: Never mind. They know where you are. Stay inside and don’t answer the door. And send me your goddamned address so I can get security to you now!

  I stood, sending my rocking chair flying back. “Fuck!”

  Taylor rose. “Liam, tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me.”

  Those words were like being dunked in ice water. After everything that Taylor had been through in the past year, the last thing she needed was me being an asshole and freaking her out. I pulled her into a quick hug and kissed the top of her head before releasing her. “Remember that fan I told you about?”

  Taylor paled. “Is everything okay?”

  “With the fan?” I shook my head. “As far as I know, she’s fine. But the press just found out last night, and now they know I’m in Sutter Lake. There are probably paparazzi already here or at least on their way.”

  Confusion filled Taylor’s expression. “That sucks that your hideout’s been revealed, but just stay put, and they’ll lose interest eventually.”

  She didn’t get it. My stomach roiled with how careless I’d been. “Taylor, you can’t tell anyone.”

  “Okay…”

  I squeezed the bridge of my nose. “Tessa’s hiding from an abusive ex. If one townsperson tells a member of the media that they’ve seen the two of us, it doesn’t matter if I stay hidden. They’ll take photos of Tessa, and her ex will know exactly where she is.”

  Taylor’s eyes widened. “Tessa knows why you’re hiding out here, right? That there was a chance the press could descend in a feeding frenzy?”

  I grimaced. “Not exactly.”

  “Liam. She deserves to know that. You need to warn her right now.”

  I tapped the screen on my phone again and hit Tessa’s contact. It rang and rang before going to voicemail. “No answer.”

  Taylor grabbed her purse. “Come on, I’ll drive. With any luck, the paps won’t have made it here yet.”

  We jogged to Taylor’s SUV and hopped in. Gravel spun as Taylor reversed. I stared out the windshield, willing the vehicle to go faster. “Please hurry.”

  Taylor gripped the wheel tighter. “I’m going as fast as is safe.”

  I caught her gaze in the rearview mirror. “I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to Tessa because of me.”

  31

  Tessa

  I hummed along to the tune on the radio as I rolled out dough for a new sugar cookie recipe I was trying today. I didn’t usually hum. My singing voice was more likely to call dogs than match the notes of whatever song was playing, but I didn’t care. Because I was happy.

  For the first time in a long time, I had hope for my future. Hope that I would eventually be able to extricate myself from the shadows of my past and that on the other side, there would be a beautiful life. I grinned down at the dough, thinking about how much fun I’d had at dinner last night. How I’d gossiped with the girls and laughed when the guys gave Liam a hard time.

  It was so simple. But the gift of belonging was everything.

  “Someone has that falling in love glow.”

  I turned at the sound of Jensen’s voice. “I don’t know about that.” I did know, and I was pretty sure I’d already fallen.

  Jensen grinned. “Whatever you say. I think the breakfast rush is finally over.” She glanced out the kitchen door to the front windows. “But I’ve seen a lot more cars drive by than normal. There must be something going on I don’t know about. You might want to double the recipe for whatever you’re making next.”

  “Will do—”

  My words were cut off by a voice on the radio saying a familiar name. “Liam Fairchild is in the news again today. Rumors are circulating that a woman he was involved with attempted suicide in the singer’s hotel room after he broke things off with her. Others are saying it was a fan who was stalking Liam. What we know for sure is that he was the one who found her.”

  My stomach pitched. The man continued. “Fairchild’s team hasn’t responded to our request for comment, but it turns out he’s been hiding out in our neck of the woods. Sutter Lake. Can you believe that, folks? We have a reporter on the ground, and we’re getting word that he’s been seen cozying up to a local woman in recent months.”

  Jensen unplugged the radio in a swift motion. “Are you okay?”

  Oh, God. There had been so much more to this story than Liam had told me. He could be in real danger. My vision tunneled slightly as I could feel the wall of protection I’d built begin to crumble around me. I could be in real danger. “What am I going to do, J? What if someone tells them my name? Where I work? Garrett could find me.”

  Jensen stormed to the front of the store where only one customer lingered from earlier that morning. That guy Al, who seemed to be here every day now. “I’m sorry, sir, but we need to close unexpectedly. If you come back tomorrow, I’ll get you breakfast on the house.”

  The man’s brow furrowed as his eyes darted from Jensen to the kitchen. “I hope everything’s okay.”

  Jensen ushered him out the front door. “It’ll be fine. Thank you.” She shut the door behind him, flipping the lock and switching the sign to Closed. Then she strode back to the kitchen and wrapped me in a tight hug. “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure this out.”

  I pulled back, shaking my head, hot tears filling my eyes. “I have to go. I have to pack as quickly as I can, get Trouble, and go.”

  Jensen gripped my shoulders tightly. “Don’t do anything yet. It’s not like there are pictures of you floating around. You just need to lie low for a few days. I can get Taylor to help out at the shop, and you can just stay in your apartment. I bet Liam’s freaking out. You might want to call him.”

  A sharp pain pierced my heart. Liam had known this might happen. He’d mentioned the issue with a fan. Tip of the freaking iceberg. I’d had no idea it could blow up to somethi
ng like this, but Liam must have known. I let myself sink to the floor and wrapped my arms around my legs. “I can’t call him right now.”

  Jensen sank with me, placing an arm around my shoulders. “Do you want me to?”

  Tears tracked down my cheeks. “No. He knew about the fan. Knew this might happen. Why didn’t he warn me that this was a possibility, at least? He basically lied. Right to my face. Lied when he knows how hard it is for me to trust people.”

  Jensen winced. “Tessa, I don’t think it was a lie exactly. He probably just didn’t want to burden you when he knew you had so much going on yourself. And he probably thought no one would find him here even if the news did break.”

  My heart began to pound faster in my chest. I loved Jensen, but she was wrong about this. Liam had deliberately kept something from me. And if he’d kept this from me, then what else might be lurking beneath the surface? My breaths started coming quicker.

  Pounding sounded on the back door. “Tessa, Jensen? It’s Liam. Let me in.”

  My body tensed. I shook my head at Jensen, panic licking my veins. “I can’t talk to him right now.”

  The banging continued. Jensen pushed to her feet. “Are you sure?” I shook my head vehemently, and she gave me a sympathetic look. “I’ll get rid of him. Hide in the pantry in case he gets pushy.”

  I nodded, ducking into the small, dark space, a place that smelled of some of my most comforting scents. It didn’t help.

  I heard the sound of the back door unlatching before Jensen’s voice. “Get in here before someone sees you.”

  “Where is she?”

  The door shut and locked. “She doesn’t want to see you right now.”

  I peeked through the crack in the door, just enough to see Liam. My heart clenched as his shoulders sagged.

  “I just want to make sure she’s safe.”

  Jensen squeezed Liam’s shoulder. “She is safe. You just need to give her some time.”

  Liam straightened. “I can get her out of here. I’ll have a private plane at the airstrip in a few hours, and we can go wherever she wants.”

  Jensen’s voice softened even further. “Liam, anywhere with you puts her at risk. If you really want to help her, take that plane and go back to LA. The media will follow you and leave Tessa alone, thinking their tipsters got it wrong.”

  I bit down on my fingers to keep from crying out. It would be best if Liam left. It would keep me under the radar. My stomach roiled. Jensen was right. I wouldn’t be safe anywhere in the world if Liam were with me. Wherever he went, curious eyes and shuttering cameras would follow. Maybe I had been kidding myself this whole time. There was no way for us to make this work. We were too different. So why did it feel like my heart was being torn in two?

  32

  Liam

  I ce clinked against my glass as Taylor refilled it. She gave me a sympathetic smile. “In times of trouble, it’s all about the Patron.”

  I took a sip of the tequila. It burned, but the blaze down my throat was a welcome distraction. I’d spent the day putting out as many fires as possible, approving a statement for my publicist to release, hoping that it would give the vultures something to feed on and maybe make them go back to LA.

  I sure as hell wasn’t going. I wasn’t leaving Tessa. We had to work this out. I let my head fall back on the couch and groaned.

  Walker rested his booted feet on the coffee table. “Are you two going to tell me what’s going on? I know it’s a shitstorm with these photographers crawling all over town, but I get the feeling that’s not the whole story. And I’m thinking it has something to do with the fact that Tessa isn’t here right now.”

  I rubbed a hand over my jaw. “I fucked up. I can’t tell you why, but Tessa can’t be photographed with me. I knew this whole thing with the fan might hit the papers and drum up the media’s interest in me. I didn’t tell Tessa that was a possibility.”

  Walker whistled. “Look, I know she’s running from something.” He eyed Taylor. “I know a little something about that. Don’t let her use this as an excuse to bolt. Apologize—”

  “Grovel,” Taylor interrupted.

  Walker grinned. “Beg if you have to. But keep steady pressure on those walls. Don’t give her a chance to push you out.”

  I swirled the liquid in my glass, staring at the patterns it made around the ice. “I think I’m in love with her. And I might’ve just ruined the best thing that’s happened to me by being a dumbass.”

  Taylor reached over and squeezed my hand. “Tessa knows you have a good heart.” Taylor glanced at Walker, love filling her eyes. “We all make mistakes. If it’s meant to be, you’ll mend those cracks and come back stronger than you were before.”

  I sighed and took another pull from my drink. “I hope you’re right.”

  I BRACED myself as I lifted my hand to knock on the Kettle’s door. It was early. Way before opening, but I knew Tessa was back from taking care of the horses. Her car was here.

  I rapped on the door. Silence. I knocked again. Still nothing. I pulled out my phone and sent a text.

  Me: I’m at the back door. Please talk to me. If you don’t like what I have to say, I’ll leave you alone after that.

  It was a total lie. I wouldn’t leave Tessa alone for anything, but I could be patient if I needed to be, slow our pace even more. I would do anything for a little bit of Tessa in my days.

  The door flew open. “What are you doing here?” Tessa’s hair was wild, all loose waves flying around her face. Her violet eyes were blazing, and her cheeks were a rosy pink. She was breathtaking in her anger.

  Tessa opened the door wider. “Get in here before someone sees you.”

  I didn’t hesitate, quickly ducking inside and closing the door behind me. “Tessa, I’m so sorry—” I reached out a hand to draw her to me. It was instinct. I couldn’t seem to be around Tessa without wanting to touch her in some way.

  She ducked out of my grasp. “No. You don’t get to do that. You kept this from me. Something that could put my life at risk. The lives of those I care about. God, Liam. What if Garrett found me? What if he hurt Jensen for giving me a job and a place to stay? Did you not believe me when I told you he was crazy?” By the end of her speech, Tessa was yelling.

  My chest spasmed at the idea of anyone trying to hurt Tessa. “I’m so fucking sorry. I messed up. I thought if I stayed out of sight for a while, this thing wouldn’t hit the media. And I didn’t want to tell you about the risk because I didn’t want to give you a reason to push me away.”

  Tessa crossed her arms. “So, you were just thinking about what you wanted.”

  I ran a hand through my hair, pulling on the ends. “It was selfish and wrong. You should have all the information you need to make whatever decisions you want about your life. All I can say is that I was an idiot because I was falling in love with you. I was selfish because I want more nights to hold you, more afternoons in the pasture to make music you inspire.”

  Tessa sucked in a sharp breath, but I pressed on. “I didn’t think about the fact that I was taking away some of the power you’ve fought so hard to regain. You’ll never know how fucking sorry I am. But please don’t let my one fuck-up ruin this.”

  I took a step closer to Tessa, she didn’t move out of my path. “I know we’re just getting started, but this thing between us is the most real I’ve ever felt.” Another step. “Don’t squash it because it’s your instinct to run.”

  I slowly reached up to cup Tessa’s face, staring into eyes now brimming with tears. “I’m going to mess up. But I promise from now on I will always be honest with you, even if it’s something I know you aren’t going to like. I promise I will do my best to be the man you deserve, someone who empowers you and stands by your side while you fight whatever battles you need to fight.”

  The tears in Tessa’s eyes spilled over, and I wiped them away with my thumbs. “I know we have a long way to go, but I want to take that journey with you. Please, let me.”

&nb
sp; Tessa’s eyes searched mine, looking for something. I wasn’t sure what. “I love you.” The sentence came out as a hoarse whisper, but it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

  I pulled her face closer to mine. “Say it again.”

  Tessa licked her lips as she brought herself even closer. “I love you.”

  My mouth crashed down on hers, my lips and tongue tangling with hers. It was a kiss of pent-up frustration, of passion, of love. My hands fisted in Tessa’s silky hair, needing purchase to bring her as close to me as possible. Her body pressed harder into mine. The feel of her curves against me had my dick jerking.

  I pulled back with a gasp. Catching my breath, I brought my forehead down to hers. “I love you so fucking much.”

  Tessa started to laugh. I moved back so I could take in her expression. “It’s hilarious that I love you?”

  She only laughed harder. “It’s not that. I mean, it’s a little funny that you had to curse when telling me you loved me for the first time.”

  I grinned. “Curse words show important emphasis.”

  Tessa shook her head. “I’m laughing because I’m happy.” My brow quirked. She pushed on, explaining. “I yelled at you when you first came in.”

  “Yeah…” I wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

  Tessa smiled as though she had just discovered the cure to cancer. “I haven’t yelled at anyone in over six years.”

  My hands fisted at my sides. I couldn’t imagine the state of fear she must have been living in for her to never raise her voice to even a single person.

  Tessa cupped my face. “You don’t understand. I yelled at you. That means I trust you. Even though you fucked up. And I know we both will in this. I trust you. I trust you not to hurt me. I trust that I can totally express myself. You are…safe to me.”

  Tessa was letting me in. And, God, it was so beautiful.

  Tessa’s violet eyes caught fire then, sparking with a heat that had my blood simmering. She brushed her lips against mine, hands running through my hair, tugging on the strands. “Take me to bed.”