by Sally Gould
***
I hid in a bush in the front garden. The bush was scratchy, but I could handle it. I could see Leo’s car. It was a big navy-blue Merc. They even had the same taste in cars. They should get married.
For a few moments my mind went still. You know, when you realize you’ve thought of something real important but you can’t quite put it together. I listened to my breathing. Then it came to me. What I had to do. I grinned. I was a genius.
The front door opened and Aunt Evil came out. Leo followed. I heard the phone ring and a second later, Charlie called out to Aunt Evil. Nanna had an old-style phone and Charlie knew how to make it ring when no one was calling. I did it once when Dad was going to kill me. I told Dad the guy from the lottery shop was on the phone. For a minute, he thought he’d won the lottery. Poor old Dad.
Aunt Evil said goodbye to Leo and told him she looked forward to seeing him tomorrow night. It sounded like they were going out together. Leo wandered up the front path and then turned round to take another look at the house. I bet he was imagining how it’d look with a block of apartments on it. The scumbag!
Just as he unlocked the car, I jumped out of the bush. I brushed a few leaves off and faced him before he got in the car.
“Leo,” I said.
“Oh, Max. Are you feeling better? That was a nasty hit on the head you received.”
He sounded like he meant it. He might be a nice guy. For a second I felt bad. But, of course, Nanna was the only person who mattered right now. “Yeah, I’ll be okay. But before you go, I need to ask you a few questions.”
He ran the palm of his hand over his bald head. “Fire away, champ.”
I took a big breath and let him have it. “I need to know your intentions with my Aunt. She’s been rejected all her life, you know. There’s only so much rejection she can take.”
He tried to interrupt me, but my engine was all revved up.
“You must prove that you deserve her,” I said. “How much money do you make?”
He raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think that’s—”
“Have you been married before?” Before he could answer, I added, “Got any kids? Any pets?”
He put his hand up, as though I was attacking him. “Whoa, hold your horses.”
“Any weirdo illnesses in your family?”
He raised his voice, “My relationship with Avril is purely business. She’s trying to help her mother. That’s all.”
“Sure,” I said, real sarcastic.
He leapt into his car and shut the door so fast his tie got caught in the door. His face was bright red when he opened the door again to rescue his tie.
“Bye, Leo. See ya soon.”
8. REVENGE
The following night, Nanna called out, “Max, make sure you set the table for five.”
“Yes, Nanna.” I got out five placemats, five coasters, five silver knives, five silver forks, five dessertspoons and five linen napkins from the side table. I hoped she wouldn’t tell Mom how good I was at setting the table. Mom might ask me to do it every night.
A minute later, Nanna came into the dining room wearing one of her good dresses. “Do you think I’m too dressed up?”
She was wearing the pink dress she’d worn to Dan’s wedding with a pearl necklace. “No, you look beautiful.” I glanced down at my grubby T-shirt and shorts. “Do you want me to get changed?”
“No, you’re fine.” She laughed. “I’m being silly, I know. Avril hasn’t invited a friend over for so long, that’s all.”
I felt terrible. Nanna must’ve thought Avril had a boyfriend. No one ever talked about it, but everyone in the family wished Avril had a husband. Any husband would do - even a scumbag real estate agent.
Nanna came over and hugged me. “This is your last night. I’ll miss my boys so much.”
“We’ll still visit.” I put the salt and peppershakers in the middle of the table. “They’ll be here soon; I’ll heat up the stew for you, Nanna.”
“Lucky we made the stew yesterday; Avril likes my stew.”