by Ali Winters
A few hours later, she had a pile of ancient texts in almost new condition. Their spines once again standing straight, the pages seen firmly into place. Nivian placed on the shelf before returning to her own research.
Five books. All of them thin and small, but combined with what she’d learned from the Tome of Fate and the book that laid in a pile of dust in the hidden room, she might just learn what she needed.
The Moirai were real. They would tell her what she needed to know.
Plucking up her books, she clutched them under her arm, making sure her cloak covered them. The last thing she wanted was more questions from anyone.
Nivian rushed out the wide double doors, closing them behind her, and took off down the hall. She rounded the corner and bounced back, stumbling a few steps as she collided into someone. Nivian gripped the books tighter, almost dropping them as she backed up.
“Hello, Nivian,” Evander said, a slight lilt to his voice.
His cheeriness already grated on her nerves. But she stamped down her irritation. None of this was his fault, she reminded herself.
Nivian lifted her eyes in time to see the smile fall from his face. His features tightened in worry.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She looked past him, not really in the mood to engage in small talk. This is exactly what she’d wanted to avoid. There wasn’t time for idle chatter.
But Nivian forced herself to take several deep breaths, willing her pulse to slow its roaring in her ears.
Nivian opened her mouth to respond, dismissing the concern etched in his eyes, but it was so sincere. And he’d been a friend, more than any other Reaper she’d ever trained.
Shrugging, she said, “I’m—” She stopped, swallowing the lie that she was fine before it left her tongue. “I don’t know,” she admitted honestly.
Evander inclined his head. “What happened?”
Nivian didn’t know why she didn’t lie and tell him she was fine. She should have known it would lead to questions.
“Nothing.” She shook her head. “I was just studying.”
His eyes widened. “Really?” he asked, the slight hint of teasing in his voice. “It sounded more like arguing to me.”
The corner of a book dug into her ribs and she shifted them under her cloak. She was tired of keeping things to herself, and she supposed there was a chance he might understand. After all, he had come to visit her almost as often as Azira over the past several weeks.
Nivian tucked her chin. “Caspian and I just had a disagreement.”
But the truth was it wasn’t their disagreement that weighed heavy on her heart, it was Caspian’s words that had cut her to the quick. The cold way he’d told her to let go of Kain. Surely, he had to know it wasn’t that easy, had to know it would hurt her. So, then, why would he say it? Even thinking about it brought tears stinging to the backs of her eyes.
“Well, I’m always willing to listen if you need an ear.”
She regarded him for a long moment, debating on how much to tell him, or if she should tell him anything. But in all honesty, she was bursting at the seams to have someone to confide in.
Nivian looked away. “I think I might have found a way to save Kain. I’m not sure yet, but… I believe the three fates are more than just legends.” Nivian cleared her throat then rushed on. “If I can find them, I know they’ll be able to tell me how,” she spoke in a low voice, not sure if her words were even loud enough to sound like anything more than a mumble.
After a long silence, she finally peeked up at Evander. His expression gave nothing away as he stood with the perfect stillness only a Reaper possessed.
Several seconds passed and she regretted opening her mouth. But she needed at least one person to tell her she wasn’t crazy. She needed someone to believe in her.
Nivian bit down hard on the side of her tongue, drawing a drop of blood. Her face grew hot with embarrassment.
A small group of Reapers walked by within earshot. Evander turned a stony glare on them as the weight of their eyes dragged across Nivian. At seeing his look, they quickly scurried back the way they’d come.
“I know I sound insane,” she said when they were alone again. “It’s just that, lately, it feels as if most of G.R.I.M. is judging me. Getting involved with a Hunter is still not normal,” she spat the word, “even if we are working with them.”
“I don’t think they are judging you, Nivian. You single handedly turned an enemy into an ally at the risk of only yourself.” Evander relaxed his posture and glanced down the hall toward the sound of a single set of approaching footsteps. “They are in awe of your power. No one has ever replaced a Fate Keeper before. It’s no small matter. I think they are all waiting to see what happens. When it will happen.”
Siobhan walked toward them, her pace speeding up when she spotted them. Nivian hadn’t seen the Reaper since Evander’s second training assignment.
Nivian shifted, not wanting to be stuck any longer than necessary. “I need to get out of here.”
She turned away as Evander nodded in understanding. But his voice, low and quiet, stopped her after two steps. “For what it’s worth, were I in your place, I would probably do the same.”
Her spine straightened and she swallowed the tears that threatened to spill. She waited until she heard his footsteps move down the hall. Then his voice echoed off the walls as he started talking with Siobhan, giving Nivian time to make her escape. It was all she could to do keep a steady, casual stride.
Arriving just outside the black and silver gates couldn’t have come soon enough for her. Nivian threw her hood over her head and transported to right inside her apartment.
Nivian threw her cloak from her shoulders, hanging it on the hook next to the door. She stepped around a stray box and moved into the kitchen, placing the books on the counter, then let out a shaky sigh. Her conversations with Caspian and Evander had brought forth the sharp sting of her emotions, still fresh and raw.
The emptiness of the apartment was suffocating and it was more than she could take.
Space. She needed a little space, and a clear head, then she could come back and continue her research.
She combed her fingers through her hair. The platinum strands shortened from its usual straight waist-length to rich auburn waves falling to the middle of her back. With a blink, the ice blue of her eyes darkened to a rich brown.
It had been so long since she’d appeared human—not since she first met Kain. Before him, she longed to hide, to blend in with the crowd, but he accepted her for who she was and as long as she was with him, Kain made her feel as if she fit in.
She jogged down the stairs to the lobby and out into the crisp spring night air, where a gentle breeze wrapped itself around her.
Nivian let her feet guide her. She practically jogged, not slowing until she found herself in the middle of McAlister Park. A sad smile spread across her face at the memory of walking down a dimly lit path with him. It was the first time he’d held her hand.
She followed the way they’d come that night, inhaling the sweet floral air. Her eyes slid closed and she could almost feel him slip his hand into hers. She closed her fingers, grasping only air.
Blowing out a breath, she opened her eyes and continued walking.
Though she took her time, Nivian had reached the end of the park sooner than she’d wanted to.
In the distance, a neon sign flickered above a yellow door. Her first time eating a burger with fries. He’d pushed her to try something new.
With all her wanting to fit in with humans, she’d avoided so much of the experience. He taught her more than she could have ever learned on her own.
Her heart squeezed. Kain… she wanted more of those memories.
She would make more of them.
Nivian spun on her heel and ran as fast as she could back home, bursting through the door, breathless and panting; her hope renewed.
She grabbed the stack of books and stopped. A dark leat
her book already laid atop the pile. Nivian grabbed the stack and splayed it across the comforter of her bed, tucking her legs under her. She looked over the new book with no title written on the cover.
The leather binding creaked with disuse as she peeled it back. A thin, black silk ribbon marked a page. When she turned to the marker, a small piece of paper flittered out.
She picked it up and read it.
E? She hummed, curious, then read the passage that had been freshly underlined in black as night ink. The fates created life and death and named them. They learned to use their powers through their teachings.
Named them… Silas and Yeva. The Moirai had taught them…
With life and death having physical bodies, how else would the fates teach them if they didn’t also have a corporeal form? That proved they existed! A giggle bubbled up from her chest. She could have hugged Evander for finding this book.
She wasn’t crazy!
Nivian quickly flipped through the pages and found one more passage near the end. The text was old, faded, and smudged, but when she squinted, she could just make out the words.
“…where three realms meet and the path began in the heart of each…” Nivian leaned back and rubbed her forehead. “In the heart of each. What does that mean?”
She stared at the words, willing them to form more and explain themselves simply. Obviously, this information had been planted in plain sight, meant to be found by someone who knew exactly what to look for. Or at least had a very good idea.
“Each. Each. Each,” she muttered. “Silas and Yeva. Each… in Silas and Yeva?” Nivian smacked the book against her forehead and groaned, falling back against the pillows briefly before righting herself.
Nivian picked up another book, this one about the Underworld, and flipped to the page she’d marked earlier.
Travel through Hades’s realm through the use of the eye…
Pushing off the bed, she paced the floor, trying to work out the clues in her head. She still didn’t know what the eye was, but she could ask Caspian when she talked to him.
Now to decipher where the paths begin.
“Could the path form under them once they were gone?” she mused. Her heart leaped at the thought, then crashed when she remembered they had been destroyed. There was nothing for a path to be under. No trace of them left.
She would figure it out. Maybe the Tome of Fate could tell her. It seemed a simple enough inquiry that it wouldn’t strain the book to hand out that information. Right now, she just had to focus on getting Caspian to give her permission to find the Moirai.
Nivian pulled Kain’s watch from her pocket and put it around her neck, tucking it under her shirt near her heart. She pressed her hand against it and bit back her excitement.
“I’m coming for you soon, Kain,” she whispered as if he could hear her.
She grabbed her cloak and ran her hand through her hair, once again taking on her Reaper form. Then she shoved the book into her pocket and vanished.
Nivian took the stairs three at a time up to Caspian’s office. She threw open the doors and strode in. His head shot up from the Tome of Fate as she approached. Something akin to fear, confusion, and surprise crossed his face. She didn’t notice how tired he looked.
Words swirled and flickered, almost forming before dancing madly again on the pages of the Tome. She averted her eyes when Caspian closed it with a snap. Slowly, she looked up into his drawn face.
“What are you doing, Nivian?” he asked tightly.
Nivian pushed away thoughts of the Tome and slammed the book down in front of him, open to the page Evander had underlined.
“Look!” she demanded. Caspian didn’t take his eyes from her face. “Look,” she pressed again.
Finally, he lowered his eyes to the page and read.
“It proves the fates were real. The Moirai are the fates!”
“Nivian…” he started using the same tone one would when trying to explain something to a child who refused to listen.
“Caspian.” She held her hand up, interrupting him before he could stop her. “I know they were real. In another book, it mentions traveling through the underworld. If I can find the fates, they can tell me how to bring Kain back.”
“That is not possible.” Caspian stood and rounded his desk, wrapping his hand around her upper arm. He shoved the book back into her hands and led her toward the door. “I must meet with the Hunters to begin prepping for the next attempt.”
Nivian dug her heels in and pulled out of his grasp. “Didn’t you hear what I said? The Moirai are alive, they exist! Just hear me out.”
“You don’t know that,” he said tersely. “And even if it were true, you wouldn’t know where to find them. Beings as powerful as they would have to be don’t just spend their time out in the open where the likes of us could find them.”
“I know how to find them,” she insisted. “I just need something called, the eye.”
Caspian tensed and looked over his shoulder, Nivian followed his gaze to the desk. The unchanging morning light of the realm glinted off the stone imbedded in the Tome of Fate. But before she could question him on it, his hand was on her lower back, guiding her out with a gentle but firm push. He closed the doors behind them and looked down into her face.
“Nivian, even if it were possible, we need you here, reaping,” he said gently.
“We don’t have to rush the process, we don’t have to risk any more Hunters. We have most of a year left.” She clasped her hands together and pleaded with him. “Please, there are enough Reapers without me. Just give me a few months. That’s all I ask.”
Caspian sighed loudly through his nose but didn’t speak. A painfully long moment passed between them. Her nerves tingled as cold tendrils of air seemed to wrap around her skin.
It was just impossible to tell what he was thinking.
His mouth opened once, then closed.
And then he simply walked away without a word.
She watched Caspian as he moved further down the hall, shoulders slumped uncharacteristically. Nivian ran to catch up with him and gripped his arm, forcing him to look her in the eye. Her other hand gripped the front of her shirt.
“I don’t care what it takes, I’ll go to the Underworld and I will bring him back,” she said, and meant it. Her hand tightened against Kain’s watch through her shirt. “Even if it’s the last thing I do.”
THIRTEEN
KAIN
HIS CRY ECHOED around him, the agony and ache of the river left behind a massive hole. Where there had once been a constant warmth he had never noticed, was now left cold and hallow. The Phlegethon river had reduced him to nothing more than a wraith… unfeeling, a barely existing stream of thought, forcing him to surrender himself wholly.
He had walked through fire and now there was nothing. No pain, no warmth, just… nothing. Kain grasped at his chest. The void inside him left him gasping for air, until the shock of what happened mellowed to a low, steady hum.
Getting past these rivers was a kind of torment he’d never thought possible. And three more awaited him still.
Kain crossed the small divide to the next river, stumbling and tripping as his numb, unresponsive body made its way forward through the mixture of dried dirt and mud that made up the strip of land.
He looked down into the water’s murky depth and sneered at his own reflection, wondering what fresh hell this one would bring. Kain wished he’d paid better attention in school when they went over mythology, especially the part about the rivers. Not a single thing came to mind.
With unsteady steps, Kain entered the river Styx. Nothing could possibly be worse than the last.
Water splashed around his legs as he stomped through, following the curve of the bend, causing it to be stretch much wider than the previous two.
Nivian…
Ice flowed through the veins of his soul, slowing his steps. A spike of adrenaline shot down his spine.
Nivian…
He w
as doing this for her. So she could be at peace. Kain stomped through the water as if each step could tramp it down and make it disappear, even as it rose higher around him, swallowing his body with its monstrous appetite.
Kain slowed as the water reached the bottom of his rib cage. His chest heaved with breath he didn’t need as thoughts came to him slowly rising like flames consuming a forest.
It was all for her. A splash punctuated each word as they echoed in the hollows of his heart. He slammed his fists into the surface, not caring that he drenched himself.
He had loved her. Had never once tried to hide it from her since the moment he realized how he’d felt. Always showed her, never once hesitated.
But it wasn’t real. How could anything one-sided be real?
Kain could feel the false joy, the superficial and naïve love he’d felt for her sluicing off him with each drop of water that coated his skin, that soaked into his clothes.
He was dead, stuck in the Underworld being tortured slowly and painfully, all because he would have done anything for Nivian. And it took his death to figure out the truth.
Waves wrinkled the surface of the river as if it too was realizing the same things as he.
Like a lovesick fool, he had thrown himself in front of Yeva’s blast of power, taking the hit for her.
He was in hell—there was no other place it could be—losing parts of himself. Slowly. Painfully. Because of that fatal blow meant for Nivian. Nivian who had… had… sliced his life thread and had ended his life.
This was her fault.
Kain slowed his pace, the water up to his chest, thick and syrup like. Crystalline and icy cold to match the anger coating his heart. He swallowed down the lump that seemed to form in his chest, heavy and bitter.