by Ali Winters
Kain.
He watched her with a curious expression, but didn’t move or speak. She skimmed her arms along the surface of the water, pushing it back in an attempt to get to him faster.
Finally, she reached the base of the rock and climbed, the aching of her battered hands forgotten. Pain was temporary.
She had found him.
She pulled herself up next to him, balancing on the rock, and tried to slow her erratic heartbeat thrumming with exhaustion, with nerves, with joy. Her eyes stung with tears as they worked their way up.
“Kain,” she whispered. She grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him over.
He remained quiet and unresponsive. His gaze followed her and he regarded her with a strange curiosity.
She ran her hands up his neck to the hard line of his jaw, then back until her fingertips brushed against the edges of his spine, lacing her fingers in his hair.
There was nothing in any of the realms that could explain how she felt looking into his eyes, feeling a solid form underneath her finger tips. Knowing beyond all doubts that he wasn’t an apparition her mind had cooked up. He was real.
But he didn’t move. He’s shocked, that’s all, she told herself. After all, why would he expect to see her here in his afterlife, in the Underworld?
A hot tear slid down her cheek and she sniffled. Gaia, she was so happy to see his face again. To feel him.
“Kain, I found you.” She kissed him under his right eye. “I finally found you…” Nivian kissed the space under his left eye. His forehead. Then his lips, again and again. Her fingers tightened in his hair as she whispered, “I love you. I love you. I love you,” against his mouth.
Nivian pulled back and placed her hand on his cheek before pulling him tightly to her again. She never wanted to let go.
“Excuse me…” he said flatly.
It was then that she dropped her arms and looked at him, really looked at him. Nivian realized he never returned her embrace, his arms remained limp at his sides. A frown crossed his face as his dark brows pulled together.
But it was the look in his eyes, dull and flat, that set her on edge.
They held no emotion, not the hope she had in hers, not the sorrow flicking across her face of still hurting from the loss even as she felt his skin under her fingers, and certainly not the fear, or the pure determination she’d been filled with since she last saw him.
“Do I know you?” It was as if he were trapped within himself. Felt nothing, thought nothing. He was no one. Nothing. A blank slate.
Her mouth went dry, her tongue thick and awkward in her mouth. “Kain, it’s me, Nivian,” she said, looking into his eyes, willing him, begging him to remember. “Don’t you recognize me?”
Kain blinked. “You seem… familiar… but no. I don’t know who you are.” He shook his head. “Why are you here?” It wasn’t a question filled with malice, just simple curiosity, as if asking why the sky was blue, or why stars shone at night, yet it still felt as if someone had twisted a knife through her heart.
“I love you, Kain.” She tried to choke back her emotion. “I’ve come to take you back. We need you. The balance needs you. You have to be the new Guardian of Life.” But her words didn’t hit home with him, she could read it in the emptiness of his face.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know you,” he said, then dismissing her, he turned back to face the shore of Elysium.
They didn’t have the time for her to explain everything in detail, she needed to get him out of this place. Once she was home, they could take their time reminding him, explaining everything he wanted to know. Or perhaps he would remember everything once he had his body back.
“Kain, come with me, I need to get you out of here before it’s too late.” She tugged on his arm, but he pulled it from her grasp, looking at her as if she had three monstrous heads.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. How do you know me?” he insisted.
“Kain, I-we… I don’t have time to explain everything right now, but I promise I will tell you everything once you’re out of this place.”
Pain squeezed her heart. Deep down, she knew to expect that he wouldn’t remember. It was what happened to the dead. He had gone through the five rivers and as the Lethe had stolen her past life, so too had it stolen his.
Though knowing that didn’t make it any easier.
“I can’t go.” He shook his head and turned away from her.
“Why not?” she asked.
“I’m waiting.”
She waited expectantly for the rest of the words. Eventually, he sighed toward Elysium and when he didn’t say more, she pushed, “Waiting for what?”
Again, a long silence fell between them. She reached out and touched his shoulder.
“I don’t know.” Kain rubbed his forehead. “I try to remember but there’s nothing there.”
Nivian gripped his forearm and elbow, encouraging him to stand, but she didn’t let go. Her eyes remained downcast on her fingers upon his skin. She gulped then forced herself to meet his eyes. “I will help you remember, but you must come with me now.”
She tried to put a little force behind her words, not enough to make him recoil at a command, just enough to encourage him to listen.
Lifeless pools of green stared down on her, unseeing. Then, he shrugged as if whatever he did next didn’t matter, as if he didn’t care.
Nivian took his hand in hers and entwined their fingers. She led him down the rock and into the water that nearly rose to her chin. She sucked in a sharp breath at the icy cold. It had dropped at least twenty degrees since she waded through it only minutes ago.
He’s so pliable, she thought. Though for now, it might aid her in getting him out of the Underworld.
“What about that?” Kain tugged lightly on his hand to get her attention. She turned to see him pointing toward Elysium.
She shook her head. “No, right now. We must go the other way, Kain.”
He only hesitated for a moment before following. The water splashed up as they moved. Several times, she almost slipped, barely catching herself from going under.
Fog rolled in on the edge of her mind. She gripped Kain’s hand tighter. The haze slowed and then stopped, giving her the impression that holding onto him staved it off.
Just a little farther and they would be out of the Lethe. Nivian pushed forward, renewing her determination.
Shades appeared at the shore, continuing their endless cycle of drinking then vanishing as they walked into the water.
Kain tugged on his hand, though not with enough force to make her let go. She stopped and looked back at him. His eyes were glued to the far distant shore of Elysium.
Bone weary and ready to collapse, she was eternally grateful he didn’t resist. She wasn’t sure she had the energy to lead him out and force him to comply.
Nivian moved to step onto the rocky shore but was blocked by a shade. Even without features, it somehow managed to look angry.
She moved aside to go around but it moved to block her again.
Frustrated, she placed a hand on its shoulders and moved it out of her way. Two more came to block her. They did not want her to come back. Or maybe they didn’t want Kain to go back. She couldn’t tell. Nivian held fast to Kain and shouldered her way through only to be violently jerked back.
“Kain,” she said through clenched teeth, using everything in her to keep going. The pull on her hand increased and she looked back.
The shades had converged on Kain dragging him back into the water. Fear was written all over his handsome face. But in the few seconds she stopped fighting them, they managed to pull her back too.
Water splashed up, soaking their hands.
“Kain!” she cried out as she felt her grip loosen from the water.
No! She had come too far and fought too hard to lose him now. Her hold slipped bit by bit until the shades managed to tear their hands apart.
She was thrown onto the hard shore and watche
d as Kain was swallowed up by the insatiable river.
Nivian’s heart came to a screeching halt as time seemed to slow, almost stopping altogether.
The words of Atropos came crashing back to her with harsh clarity. Your fates are tied. What becomes of one becomes of the other.
Dozens of skeletal hands held her to the ground as a wall of water rose up, each drop a triumphant cry of the Underworld, a battle won. Mocking her as if to say, “Did you really think it would be that easy?”
She kicked and pushed frantically, shoving the wraiths off. She wouldn’t let it end this way. Life depended on it, Kain’s life, everyone’s…
She rolled to the side, squirming out of the grasp of the faceless shades. Nivian ran into the river then dove headfirst where Kain had been taken.
Kain sank into the dark, murky depths, pulled along by the angry souls. She kicked and paddled, trying to chase him.
Kain.
Hands grabbled at her. Fighting over her as if she were prey and they each demanded a piece. They squeezed painfully on her limbs, yanked her hair, clawed at her skin. She screamed in pain, unable to help herself when reason told her not to.
Kain.
Water filled her lungs, choking her and sucking the life from her muscles. Her energy waned. The darkness moved in, creeping in on the edges.
Kain.
Her fingers brushed against something and she forced her eyes to open.
Kain.
She inched her hand over his and wove their fingers together. He shook her with his other hand as she began to fade then wrapped an arm around her.
His touch sparked something in her, leaching away her fear.
Nivian held him and, together, they kicked, aiming for the surface. She emerged coughing and gasping and sputtering.
Kain looked at her, perplexed and not needing to draw in air.
She could feel strength returning to her as they made their way back to the shore. This time with Kain at her side instead of trailing.
They ran past the shades, shoving them roughly out of their way until they were far enough on land where the souls seemed to forget about them.
Nivian fell to her knees and hung her head, her arms shook as she tried to keep herself from falling onto her face upon the sharp, rocky shore, and pulled in lungful after lungful of acrid air.
Kain bent down on one knee and held out a hand.
When Nivian raised her chin, the smile on his face made her heart throb.
He looked at her as he always had. As if he remembered all their time together, as if he remembered that he loved her.
As Nivian got her feet under her, she fell into his arms. Legs weak. Nivian pushed up on her toes and kissed him once. “I’m so glad you’re back.”
Then he placed one hand on her lower back and rubbed. Yet, it lacked the warmth she was used to. Nivian pulled back, just enough to look him in the eye. The spark she’d seen in them just moments ago had faded.
Kain gave her a look that said he wasn’t back, that he just didn’t want to speak the words aloud and disappoint her.
It was enough to make her scream and cry. She swallowed down a sob that worked its way up her chest, threatening to break free, and forced herself to let him go and step back.
With a deep, shuddering breath, she said, “Let’s go.”
She took his hand, putting as much distance between them and the river as she could.
TWENTY-SIX
KAIN
KAIN WATCHED THE woman walk a few steps ahead. She clutched tightly to his hand, and with her other, she pushed damp locks of moon white hair off her face. And every few seconds she would look back at him like she was worried he would disappear.
He didn’t understand why, but he didn’t mind. He took those moments to study her, trying to figure her out. She was beautiful in an unearthly sort of way. Her pale blue eyes were stunning against her tanned skin. There was something about her that made him want to follow her and ignore the call of Elysium, regardless of how strong the call got the farther he got from it. But he couldn’t put his finger on what it was exactly.
“I suppose I should thank you for coming for me,” he said. Though, he honestly didn’t know why he should thank her or why she had even come for him, other than something he didn’t understand about a balance and people needing him for something.
Her explanation hadn’t made much sense.
Pink colored her cheeks as she averted her eyes. “You’re the one who saved me.”
Kain smiled and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, unable to form a response. For a moment, a warmth spread through his chest and started to seep into his bones. The way she looked at him made him feel…
He blinked and the feeling vanished. Kain shook his head, brushing it off as yet another effect of the Underworld.
Kain glanced up from her and looked back, past the river to the rock he’d been sitting on. He knew he had to go to Elysium beyond, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. There was no reason other than something he could only describe as a gentle tug in the darkness of his mind.
He pressed his palm against his forehead.
He knew that two plus two was four. He knew the sky was blue, the grass was green, and that he was dead. Benign facts that told him absolutely nothing about himself.
The woman had called him Kain, from which he gleaned that she knew him somehow, she had memories of him, and his name was Kain.
“Who are you?” he asked. Then cringed inwardly at seeing hurt spark in her ice blue eyes. He knew enough to feel bad at a question that was insensitive, even if he hadn’t meant it that way. “I’m sorry, I just…” He rubbed his forehead again. “I can’t remember anything about you, but you seem to know who I am.”
“My name is Nivian,” she said after a long minute.
He opened his mouth to ask her another question, and stopped when a familiar trickling sound reached his ears.
Kain swallowed hard.
If he had a beating heart, it would have been ripping its way free from his chest at the sound of another river. Something bad had happened there. Something he couldn’t remember, but never the less, he felt the horror of a memory he no longer possessed coursing through every bit of him. Going into that river was not something he wanted to experience again.
“What is it?” Nivian stopped walking and placed her other hand on the arm of the one she held.
“Why are you taking me this way?” he asked.
Her delicate brows pulled together. She closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. When she looked at him again, she spoke in a strained but patient tone. “I am to be the next Fate Keeper and you are to be the next Guardian of Life. You are the only one who can do it, everyone is depending on me to bring you back.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what any of that means.”
“I know, and I promise I’ll explain better when we have more time, but Kain,” she said his name pleadingly, “when I left, your father had just volunteered to be your replacement.”
“My… father?” He could see her frustration and panic growing, but he had to understand. He wanted to go with her, but walking back the way he’d come felt very much like walking into the strong winds of a tornado, fighting against its current. “Then why do you need me?”
Nivian shuddered and dropped her chin, but not before he could see silvery tears line her eyes. “Because Finn didn’t make it. They tried… we tried. But he still… he still died.”
He didn’t know who Finn was, but it hardly mattered. What did matter was what she was asking—no—demanding from him.
“And you are dragging me out of the Underworld to try this, knowing I could die again?” he staggered back. Whatever he’d gone through to get to that rock no longer existed in his mind, but his soul knew. It knew to be afraid, to never want to experience it again. He shook his hand out of her grasp. “No. I won’t go through this again. I can’t.” He turned his back on her. “I’m sorry,�
�� he said and started to walk away.
He heard her feet crunch on the gravel, running. Then she was in front of him, her two small hands shoving him in the chest.
“You are the only one who can survive it!” she said, her features twisted in anger.
Kain gripped her wrists and lowered them. “Why is this important?”
“Because, all of existence will be wiped out if we don’t do this.” She lowered her voice. “It is our duty. It has always been our duty, long before we were born.”
Duty? He knew nothing of duty, or what she wanted. Her explanation meant little more than gibberish. But still… she’d said all of existence counted on him. And at least that part meant something to him. He still understood life and death. Life was something his soul craved, even now. A quiet, distant echo of longing reverberated through him if he stopped to listen.
“Kain, I know this is hard to understand, and it’s a lot all at once, but I need you to trust me. Please?”
He looked her up and down, regarding her.
Trust… He didn’t know her, how could he trust her? But everything about her said she was sincere. She believed they owed it to everyone to save the world. She believed what she told him. And when she’d kissed him, it had been real for her; at first, Nivian had believed he knew her. There’d been no agenda behind it, nothing but joy.
“Okay, I will go with you.”
Nivian’s face brightened. The look she gave filled him with warmth. He much preferred it when she was happy.
“Thank you,” she said, barely above a whisper.
Then Kain let her lead him back the way they’d come, but he must have slowed down as they neared the river because she stopped walking again. He flicked his gaze toward her. She looked back at him, worry etched in the tight line of her lips.
“I don’t want to go in the river,” he admitted.
“We won’t,” she said with a softness in her voice that made him turn away from the path to the river and look at her. “We are going this way.” She pointed toward a fog bank. An orange glow emanated from deep within, the smell of sulfur strong.