by Wolfe Locke
“Why me?” was my instant reply. They could help out a bit instead of expecting me to go out and collect all the resources.
I did want to go exploring, that’s true enough. On the other hand, the idea of putting myself in more extremely painful mortal peril wasn’t exactly thrilling. At least, I’d have liked it to be my own choice rather than an order from Edgar.
He looked at me as if the answer should have been obvious. “You’re the ruler of the kingdom. Only you can collect material like that.”
Sometimes it’s good to be the king. But sometimes it really, really wasn’t. Like right then.
He straightened up. “I’m issuing you a formal quest. Find more materials to augment outpost defenses.”
Quest Issued: Crusader Directive – The Crusade Needs Materials!
You’ve been instructed to gather more materials to finish the building tasks of the crusaders. Failure to complete this task will result in expulsion from the Crusaders and will render them hostile towards you at which point they may forcibly attempt to remove you from Outpost 18 and seize it for themselves.
I sighed after reading the ridiculous consequences of the request. “All right. I can do it. I’ll leave at first light.”
It would be good to get some sleep before my big trip, maybe do some light stretches. Instead, I’d have to settle for breakfast. After giving me my quest, Edgar turned and walked off toward a small group of Crusaders on the other end of the cul de sac.
I guess we’re done.
Chapter Seven: Saved A Plate
* * *
Being dismissed or ignored by Edgar basically meant I was free to take off and do whatever I needed to. Edgar seemed busy anyways, and that meant that it was time to talk to Bjorn about getting something to eat. He was still hard at work at the barbecue, which I was extremely grateful for.
“I saved you a plate,” he said, gesturing toward the food. “Three pieces of bacon and two sausage patties.”
He’d arranged the food in the shape of a smiley face. It was a little cheesy for my taste, but whatever, free meat. I scarfed it down. After days of eating nothing but candy, it was delicious. I could feel the life returning to my body.
“So, Bjorn,” I said. “What’s your deal?
“What’s my ‘deal’?” he asked, looking confused. “I don’t know what you mean. I’m the type of guy who grows strong on the flesh of animals.”
I laughed and ignored the joke. “You’re Norwegian,” I said. “What brings you here to my section of the apocalypse? How’d you join the Crusaders? What’s your favorite color?”
“Green,” he answered immediately. “And I was here in America on vacation when everything happened. I wanted to see all the sights. Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Empire State Building, the Golden Gate Bridge. But this country is bigger than I imagined. I got stuck in South Dakota when I ran out of money.”
“Did you look at a map?” I asked. “You are so far away from South Dakota.”
“Yes,” he said. “But I’m not very visual. I was trapped in a motel next to Mount Rushmore. It was impressive looking at it the first time. But not over and over again. A dungeon spawned right there between the old presidents. I, uh… it was not very comfortable.”
He shivered. Really? This guy had faced off against the Undead, killed who knows how many people, and the thing that haunted his dreams was Abe Lincoln’s giant head? Some people.
“So, uh, how’d you get here?” I asked.
“There was a tournament,” he said. “I think you were in it? I didn’t see you, but I heard about you. The guy with the baseball bat. We all called you ‘that idiot’.”
“Thanks.” I was less than amused.
“Well, joke’s on me,” Bjorn said with a jolly chuckle, sounding like a blond and muscular Santa Claus. “That idiot with the baseball bat did pretty well for himself.”
That did my ego proud, and I let my chest rise up a bit.
“An old guy picked me out of the crowd and told me I had potential,” he continued to explain. “Same as you, I guess.’
So, he’d fought in that stupid Decimation Series as well. That made sense— it figured that all the new recruits would have been pulled straight from the arena. But why Eric? Why Ashley? Why me? There seemed to be no rhyme or reason behind the old man’s picks. At least Bjorn looked tough and could wield a sword.
The other two recruits came over to grab some food, and I decided to interrogate them as well.
“Oh boy!” Eric exclaimed when I asked him for his story. “That’s a wild one.”
I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be that wild, given what I knew of Eric, but I didn’t say anything.
“I was working at a company called Kodo when it hit. I know we were selling an app to developers, but I couldn’t tell you what the app did or who our market was. It was literally just a job to me. Output code, input money, you know what I mean?”
He winked at me as if I knew what he meant. But I didn’t.
“Sorry,” he said. “Dumb joke. Anyways, it was just another garbage day at this garbage office writing code for this garbage app, when suddenly we heard a siren, and all the lights went out at once. We totally lost power. My desktop wasn’t working, obviously, but I moved over to my laptop and kept coding for a few hours until the battery died. Then I looked around and everyone was gone.”
“You just kept working?” I said. “You didn’t want to investigate what was going on?”
“No. I was in the zone.” Eric answered awkwardly, “And it’s kind of easier to work in the dark with no people around. No distractions. You know what I mean?”
I still didn’t know what he meant.
“Anyways, when I went outside it was like a bomb had gone off.” Eric continued, “There was rubble everywhere. And all my coworkers had turned into zombies. They were all out there shuffling around, and when they saw me, they tried to rip my throat out.”
“Did you kill them?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah. I grabbed a three-hole-punch, one of those big ones, and just went to town. Seriously, I beat the crap out of them. Especially Wayne.” Eric laughed. “He has the desk next to mine, and he’s always eating those giant bags of 3D Doritos. Just crunching and crunching. And you can smell them on his breath for hours.”
I was getting the sense that Eric kind of had an anger problem. But hey, who doesn’t? I wouldn’t judge it, though I might avoid too much alone time with Eric.
“You can probably guess the rest,” Eric said. “Leveling up, teleportation, tournament, blah, blah, blah. I chose to specialize in magic. And I’m damn glad I did. Those fireballs are cool!”
“Cool, indeed.” I muttered, thinking maybe I didn’t want to upset him too much. “Alright Ashley, what about you?” I asked, turning to the girl.
She blinked at me, taking a bite out of her vegan sausage patty. “Um, I’m in college? I go to Brandeis? Or, well, I guess I should say I was in college, because my college doesn’t exist anymore? Ever since the apocalypse happened?”
“Oh yeah,” Eric said. “I guess most of Boston’s kind of underwater now.”
Ashley shrugged, playing things cool, but the frustration could be seen in her eyes. “Yeah, so I’ve always been into mixed martial arts. I probably got serious about it ever since high school. You know, I’ve actually won a few tournaments.”
“Wait,” I said, holding up a hand to pause her. She rolled her eyes like she knew what was coming next. “Really? You?”
“Yeah,” she said, rounding on me. “You look surprised. Why are you surprised?”
“I’m not surprised!” Clearly, I was lying. She didn’t look like the martial arts type.
“Seriously, you look surprised. Do you have a problem with me doing MMA or something?” she snapped back.
“No!” I responded, backing away with my hands up. “No, I don’t! That’s great! I’m glad you’ve found a hobby that works for you!”
“It’s more than a hobby,” she sai
d. “It’s a way of life. Like CrossFit and being vegan. Anyways, when things went down, I was actually pretty set. Way better off than a lot of people. Everyone at school just stood there and let the zombies kill them. It was actually pretty pathetic. I guess I expected better? Like some people literally let zombies, and not the quick running kind you see in the movies, catch and eat them.”
“And you did what?” I asked, curious as to how she managed to survive if everyone else perished.
“Oh, I took them out. One by one, tactically speaking, with my bare hands.” She was practically beaming as twisted her hands together in a mock kill.
“Wow!” Eric said, laughing. “You two are really terrifying!”
I was beginning to see why the two of them had been picked for the Crusaders.
“And when I learned about that tournament, I was really excited. It felt like I’d been training for it my whole life. And I dominated it, like, seriously, I think I’ve found my true calling. Blood sports. I don’t think I can go back to just doing MMA after this.”
“Huh,” I said. She must have some kind of fighting power. “That’s really cool, Ashley.”
“Yeah!” she exclaimed excitedly. “So that’s my story!”
Bjorn poked at the last few strips of bacon on the grill with a spatula before speaking up.
“You guys are really tough,” he said. “But Dan’s the only one of us who’s cleared out an entire safe zone for us to live in.”
“Yeah,” Eric said, looking at me admiringly. “That’s really awesome. And with nothing but a baseball bat, too. How’d you do it, man?”
Huh. I guess it hadn’t occurred to me that what I’d done was in any way impressive. But put it that way, it did sound kind of cool. I had my own kingdom, and it was good enough for the Crusaders to want to use as an outpost. That wasn’t nothing.
“I mean, I just went out there swinging,” I said, mimicking a swinging motion. “Took them all out at once. Well not at once. It took a while. Ok, it was a learning experience. This is my street, guys, I can’t let a pack of zombies just take it over.”
They seemed unimpressed. I made the story a little more dramatic than it actually was. That was on me. In the old world, I might have run into issues making claims like that, like getting sued, but all the lawyers died horrifically violent deaths in the apocalypse.
I guess the flesh golem smelled the meat cooking, because he stomped over to us, sniffing the air. The Crusaders were trying to hold him back, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“I think we should just give him what he wants,” Bjorn said, backing away from the grill.
The golem inhaled the rest of the food and sat down on the ground with a thud.
“Does he have a name?” I asked. He used to have a name. Back when one was many.
The other recruits looked at each other blankly. I patted the golem’s side and handed him the last piece of bacon off my plate. “I dub thee John Legion.”
John Legion roared. See? He knew who was really in charge here. And it wasn’t the Crusaders. Besides, he was literally made of me. Well, me(s), plural.
Chapter Eight: Move Out
* * *
The rest of the day ended up being a bust. As much as I'd wanted to go, it wasn't quite in the plan. We'd talked about it, set it up, made a team, and at the last minute, the excursion was postponed. Nothing bad, and it wasn’t my fault. It was just everyone was needed down at the fence in cause of another attack and to do the light repairs the system allowed. They couldn’t spare the manpower to escort me.
So I ended up back in my room, away from everyone else, and tried to enjoy my me-time. Eventually, with nothing else to do. I fell asleep. While I wish I could say I slept great, I didn’t. Not really. The whole night I tossed and turned. Nightmares.
I was up the next day at first light.
Ugh. I missed sleeping past noon. I hadn’t had a drink in a while, either. There was nothing to drink in the Republic, since the liquor collection was destroyed with the rest of my house. Maybe I could grab some beer while I was out on my quest. If there was any beer left to buy, or take.
I should try to pick up some food, too, if Bjorn had been right about there being nothing else to eat here. I pushed the covers aside and started making a list. I got one entry deep.
Top Ramen, the spicy shrimp flavor, I loved that extra zing.
“Napoleon,” I called out to the mimic. “Do you want anything while I’m out scavenging?”
The mimic peaked his head out from under the bed and yawned with a mouth full of teeth.
“Guess that’s a no.” At least that’s what I assumed. For all I knew, the Mimic was telling me to bring it back something still alive.
I added bacon to the short list to make Bjorn and Legion Dan happy and opened the window. Edgar was outside waiting for me, already dressed up in his gear and fully caffeinated. How does he do it?
“Are you ready to go?” he asked as he gave me an up down look and glare. “Where’s your uniform?”
I looked behind me and pointed. “It’s on the back of the door where I left it.”
“Well, put it on and get going. We need to get this done. I have them rebuilding the wall with what we have on hand for now, but that’s not going to last long. You saw what happened when the Undead attacked. The same thing will keep happening again, over and over. It will happen until we can build a better structure.”
Edgar was riled up and seemed upset, but what was I to do about it? We both knew that was the case. Monsters were literally crawling around everywhere outside of the Republic.
I watched as the Crusaders reassembled and reattached boards and material that had been torn down in one of the ever-increasing attacks against the outpost. They were working hard. Part of me respected that. They knew they were outclassed and outnumbered, that the odds were against them, and they still kept going. If the skeletons attacked again, they’d fight until the last one of them was dead. I respected that, I really did, but it wasn’t for me. But if they were willing to put up with that and put the work in, I could wear a uniform.
“Okay,” I agreed without further fight. “Let me just get dressed, and then I’ll head out. Do you know where I’m supposed to go.”
Edgar looked at me like I was an idiot again. “You’re the ruler of this Republic. Don’t you know what’s available? Haven’t you scouted the surrounding area?”
No, and no. But luckily, I had Lirai for that. “I didn’t have a lot of time for scouting before everything went down like it did,” I admitted.
“Come meet me outside before you leave,” Edgar called out. “I want to show you what we found in one of the houses.”
He jogged off without another word, industrious as always, and I shut the window and pulled my uniform on. It was still too tight. I wondered how long it would take before I lost enough weight for it to fit. Maybe I could get more fitness upgrades that would help me speed things along a little.
“Lirai,” I prompted. “Where around here can I get the materials the Crusaders need?”
Notification - Query – Best Course of Action
Player is in the area: “Suburb”. The closest sources of materials are in the area: “Springfield Mall”. Best sources are: Rowe’s Building Supplies, Hamburger King, and Live, Laugh, Love Home Goods. These are dungeon areas, and player should prepare for multiple boss fights. Dress accordingly. Player should be warned that the surrounding area is dangerous, and that he is under leveled. High-level monsters are swarming in great numbers. Be on high alert, and consider your options carefully.
“Thanks for the advice, Lirai.” Hopefully, that tidbit of information was exactly what I needed.
Why was she sending me to the Hamburger King? Last I checked, it wasn’t exactly a good place to buy building materials. It did have good burgers, though. Maybe they had some left over in the freezer.
Notification – Additional Information
Player is advised to bring his pet mimic alon
g on the journey. It is a powerful ally and may prove useful in the quest.
Okay. Well, it would probably be good for Napoleon to get out of the house a little.
I lifted the covers of my bed and tentatively glanced under and called out to the Mimic. “How do you feel, buddy?” I asked. “Do you want to come along?”
He made a sort of meowing sound that didn’t go along at all with his look, but I took it as an affirmation when he crawled out from under the bed and hugged my leg again. Between Napoleon and Legion Dan, I was proving to be pretty good with monsters.
I was a little curious, “Why don’t I have the title of Monster King or maybe even Monster Tamer yet?”
Notification - Query - Absence of tamer emblem
You don’t possess the proper emblem to enable use of those titles.
“I bet there’s a lot for you to eat out there,” I said, hoping that would be enticing enough to get him up and moving. “Better than spiders and skeletons.”
Napoleon seemed to like that, so I picked him up and set him on my shoulder. He left a little oozing stain on the fabric of my uniform. I couldn’t tell if it was blood, meat juice, or something else. However, the urge to vomit was definitely something I could identify.
That’s disgusting. I tried to be nice and didn’t want to offend the little guy. He looked excited to go on a journey.