“Nothing. My landlord’s not the nicest guy.”
Her cheeks looked flushed, and James knew that it wasn’t solely from being outside. He decided to drop it.
“Are you ready for some more Jim Gaffigan?” he asked with a smile.
For the first time, she smiled at him. “Yeah, I think so.”
James pressed play and put the car into drive. He tried to hide the grin on his face – she was finally speaking to him. First problem solved.
Now all he had to do was drive around and not cause any trouble. How hard could that be?
Chapter 5
Though she would never admit it, the seats in James’ Porsche were unbelievably comfortable. The ride was really smooth too, despite the roads being littered with potholes.
She tried to listen to the comedy and relax, but it was tough to get over the mortifying shame that James heard her landlord yell at her. It was true that she was overdue on rent – when she found out that the clinic was in trouble, she elected to forgo half of her salary for two months so they could keep their doors open longer.
She didn’t think it’d be a problem since she didn’t live extravagantly, but her student loans took the bulk of her pay and she was left with very little money at the end of the month. The past month was especially tight. She had to get a cavity filled, and that wasn’t cheap. Plus, she then blew two tires in a pot hole and had to replace them. She made a mental note to sell the tires off of her car before it was officially totaled.
Rent was often last on her priority list. Her landlord wasn’t the nicest man, so it was easier for her to justify.
Last winter, he left their entire apartment building without heat for two weeks. Juliet threatened to report him to the authorities, and when he scoffed at her, she did just that.
Unfortunately, it was really hard to figure out who dealt with that sort of thing. She reported it to the health department, and they said that it wasn’t their issue to address. She called the non-emergency police number, and they couldn’t do anything but advised that she could contact a lawyer. By the time she figured out where to report it, the heat was back on.
Ever since then, she didn’t feel all that bad about being late on the rent. He was the worst landlord she’d ever had.
The heat from the car seats warmed her and she felt her muscles relax. At least James had the decency not to ask questions about what was going on. He was good like that – he knew when she was embarrassed and knew not to make it worse.
That hadn’t changed. Juliet pretended to look at the center console and stole a glance at him. He didn’t look different, either. He still cut his hair the same way – she called it the “lazy buzzcut,” because he did it himself in the bathroom. Or at least he used to. He didn’t need a $100 haircut – he was gorgeous. He had these piercing blue eyes that disarmed Juliet – she’d get distracted in arguments by how pretty they were. That might be the only thing that was a bit different – he seemed to have bags under his eyes now. Somehow it still worked with the rugged stubble on his face.
She made herself face forward again so she wouldn’t get caught looking; there was no need for him to think that she still liked him or anything. It was very odd that he showed up out of the blue and was so willing to help her. He must be up to something; she just couldn’t figure out what it was. Did it have to do with his dad’s business? Maybe he was spying on the other drug company?
That didn’t make sense. He couldn’t have known that she was going to enter this contest. And he didn’t know that her car was going to break down.
Or did he?
No – James was self-absorbed, but he wasn’t a monster. He wouldn’t sabotage her car or risk hurting her. She couldn’t figure out what he wanted, though, and it made her feel on edge.
After 45 minutes, the comedy special was over. Juliet’s cheeks hurt from laughing.
“What do you want to listen to next?” asked James.
“I don’t know,” she said.
When she mentally prepared to spend hours in the car with her ex-boyfriend, for some reason she didn’t think he’d want to talk so much. Although…the more they talked, the more likely she’d find out what he was after.
“I’ve got a new album from Adele,” he offered.
“I didn’t take you as an Adele fan.”
“Excuse me,” he said, throwing up a hand. “Literally one of her biggest fans. I got to see her live in London, she was incredible.”
“Ooh,” she cooed. “In London, aren’t you fancy? Did you pay for a private performance? On your yacht?”
He glanced at her, eyes narrowed. “Is that what you think I do all day? Hang out on a yacht?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Don’t be ridiculous, I only use the yacht to travel to my private islands.”
“What! When did you get private islands?”
He laughed. “I’m kidding. I don’t have any yachts or islands. That’s for people with free time.”
“You seem to have a lot of free time this week.”
“I’m taking some time off. So who are we seeing first? The bird?”
He changed the subject. Interesting. “Yeah. His name is Deno. He’s an African Grey Parrot.”
“They gave this cancer drug to a little bird? How did they even know how much to give him?”
Juliet smiled. “Yes, they give cancer drugs to birds; he was relatively young when he got the cancer. I think he was ten years old, and normally he’d have at least another fifty years to live. Dosing is a problem that we run into as veterinarians. Sometimes we know doses for dogs and cats. Other times we have to make things up for parrots, jaguars…”
“Yeah, I remember the vet from the zoo saying that. They had to base their drug dosing for the lions off of studies in house cats.”
“When did you talk to a veterinarian who worked at a zoo?”
“I have my secrets,” he said with a half smile. “What’s this drug called? And how does it work?”
Juliet always loved that half smile – it made him look boyish and mischievous. She turned her head to look out of the window, there was no need to get caught up in his charm.
“It’s called barkcizumab and it’s a monoclonal antibody.”
“That sounds very impressive, but confusing. You do remember how we met, right? That I had to pay you to tutor me in biology?”
Of course she remembered. Why was he bringing this stuff up?
“Basically it attaches to cancer cells and makes them self-destruct. It’s really amazing, because it works for a few different kinds of cancer. It can treat skin cancer, lymphoma, even bone cancer.”
“Bark-sizzle-abs?”
“Bark-sizz-oo-mab. The brand name is Delicaid. That’s a lot easier to say.”
“Where do they come up with this stuff?”
“Delicaid is based on ‘deliciolum,’ the Latin word meaning pet, or darling.”
He made a face like he was impressed. “Oh. That’s pretty cool.”
Juliet suddenly felt embarrassed that she nerded out so much about the drug. “Let’s hear that new Adele album?”
They arrived at Deno’s owner’s house about an hour early. Juliet fully expected James to be late, so she fibbed about what time he needed to pick her up that morning. Luckily, Deno’s owner said that she was ready for them.
“I only had two students show up to my office hours today,” she said as she welcomed them into her house. “Most of the students went home for Thanksgiving, but I always want to be here for the ones who might need a little extra help.”
“Do you teach at the university?” asked James.
“Yes,” she replied. “Mathematics. I also do research on the mathematical theory of elasticity.”
“Oh, how interesting,” James replied.
Juliet had to bite her lip not to smile. James was completely out of his element, but the salesman in him required that he pretended to know what was going on.
“Hi Dr. Wisniewski, it’s
so nice to meet you. I’m Juliet.”
“Please, call me Rose.”
James offered his hand. “Hi, I’m James.”
Juliet pulled the camera out of its bag. “Thank you so much for agreeing to be part of the video.”
“Oh, it’s my pleasure! How do you want to do this?”
Juliet paused. As excited as she was to get all of these videos, she didn’t plan the best way to do them. “Would we be able to ask you some questions, maybe with Deno sitting with you?”
Rose put her hands on her hips. “I have a feeling that Deno is going to be very afraid of that camera. He doesn’t like new things.”
“Oh, of course. How about we get some interview questions from you, and later get some footage of him from afar?”
“That sounds good.”
Rose insisted on first fetching some refreshments. When she was out of earshot, James leaned in and whispered in Juliet’s ear. “We definitely need a lot more footage of that bird than we do of her talking.”
“How do you know? I’m sure people will want to hear what she has to say.”
“Yeah, but don’t you think we’d want to have most of it as a voiceover while on the screen there’s a video of a super adorable cancer fighting bird?”
Juliet sighed. She couldn’t really argue against that, but she didn’t want to scare the poor bird. “We’ll see what we can do. African Grey Parrots are really smart and really sensitive. I don’t want to do anything that will upset him.”
James seemed unsatisfied with that, but he didn’t say anything else. Over the next hour, they collected footage of Rose talking about Deno’s diagnosis and treatment.
Juliet didn’t know the full story until then – apparently, Deno developed squamous cell carcinoma on the skin of his leg. It was an unusual case, and Rose was desperate to save him. After three doses of Delicaid, Deno was cured. That was four years ago, and Rose couldn’t be happier. Juliet teared up as she listened.
They then took some footage of Deno in his cage from afar. Unfortunately, it didn’t look great. If they got too close to the cage, he started to make loud, shrill noises like a police siren or a smoke detector.
“That’s how you know he doesn’t like what you’re doing,” said Rose. “But he might be a bit more agreeable if I let him out of his cage.”
“Hold on a second,” said James. “Does he fly?”
Rose laughed. “He does. Are you afraid of a little bird?”
“Absolutely. Didn’t you know that Steve Irwin once said he feared parrots more than any other animal?”
Both Juliet and Rose burst into laughter.
“Don’t be a baby,” said Rose. “But don’t let him land in your hair.”
Juliet couldn’t tell if she was kidding, but she decided it was better not to ask.
Juliet turned to James. “If you’re really afraid, you should probably leave. I don’t want you to scare him.”
“I’m not going to leave,” he said, lowering his voice. “I’m just saying parrots are like small dragons.”
Juliet handed him the camera. “Well, here. If you’re holding the camera, he probably won’t come near you because he’s afraid of it. Just make sure to get a lot of good shots of him.”
A moment later, Rose came into the room with Deno resting on her hand. He eyed the camera suspiciously, but didn’t make any loud noises. Juliet decided that was a good sign.
“What’s that?” Rose asked Deno in a high voice.
He didn’t answer and she repeated herself. Juliet looked at James to make sure that he was recording. He was.
After a moment of silence, Deno spoke. “Who’s there? Hello?”
James and Juliet giggled. They tried to quiet down so it wouldn’t ruin the video, but then Deno let out a chuckle. This sent them into uncontrollable laughter.
“Oh yes,” said Rose. “He likes to laugh at people. He also can mimic a cough frighteningly well. I once called my vet in a panic thinking that he had pneumonia.”
Juliet laughed. “I bet I know what he told you.”
“Yeah! That parrots don’t cough!” said Rose, shaking her head. “He really scared me because it sounded so awful.”
The next two things happened almost at once. James took a step towards Deno, which spooked him and caused him to take flight. At the same moment, the front door opened as Rose’s husband walked in the door. He didn’t have a chance to react to the parrot flying directly at him.
He could only stand with his mouth open as Deno flew over his shoulder, straight through the door and into the cold Michigan sky.
Chapter 6
The parrot was gone. He was just gone!
James dropped the camera to his side. Was it his fault? No – he didn’t do anything. It was the guy who opened the door. Definitely his fault.
“Okay, remain calm. Everyone outside, we need to scan the trees so we can find where he landed.” Juliet nodded encouragingly and headed for the door.
Rose, mouth open, ran outside after Juliet.
James looked at the man who opened the door. His hand was still on the handle and he stood with a sheepish look on his face. Clearly this was Rose’s husband, and he knew that he messed up.
“Shall we?” asked James.
He nodded. “We gotta find that bird.”
They hurried outside to join Rose and Juliet. Unfortunately, the house was surrounded by tall trees. He could’ve gone anywhere. James looked up and down the bare branches for a glimpse of Deno – his gray feathers would be hard to see, but his red tail would make him stick out.
“Keep yelling his name, it will help him find his way back to you,” said Juliet.
“Why isn’t he answering? He could be a mile away!” said Rose, panic rising in her voice.
“It may be a good sign, actually,” responded Juliet. “If he’s being quiet, it might be because he can see you and he feels safe. Parrots don’t often fly far when they’re spooked.”
Rose nodded and continued calling his name.
“I’ll go around back and look for him,” James announced to no one, as neither Juliet nor Rose acknowledged him. He went to the back of the house, disappointed to find a thick forest of trees.
Again he squinted, searching for that red tail, but saw nothing. His vision wasn’t the best. After a few minutes with no success, it dawned on him that he could use the video camera to zoom in on the trees.
He took a few minutes and scanned every inch of the backyard using the camera. There was nothing, and he decided to go back out to the front to try the trick there.
He slowly made his way around the side of the house, scanning the branches and evergreen trees. At one point he spotted the red plumes of a cardinal. His heart leapt when he first saw him, but quickly fell when he realized that it was the wrong bird.
The cardinal was difficult to ignore, though, peeping wildly and jumping from twig to twig. James took the video camera and zoomed in more closely on the area.
Bingo.
Deno sat ten feet above the agitated cardinal. From his vantage point, Deno could easily see Rose, who continued frantically calling for him in the front yard.
“Hey! Everyone! I found him.” James waited for a moment, but they hadn’t heard him. He didn’t want to lose sight of Deno, so he carefully pulled out his cell phone and called Juliet.
She answered the phone with a hushed voice. “Why are you calling me right now?”
“I found him. Come over to the side of the house.”
Juliet swiftly made her way over, Rose following behind. James did not take his eyes off of Deno.
“See?” he said, pointing up at the tree. “He’s right there. He looks all cozy. And there’s a really angry cardinal beneath him.”
“Deno! Come here sweetie. Come to my hand.” Rose outstretched her arm expectantly. Deno turned his head to get a better look at her, but he didn’t budge.
Juliet frowned. “This might be tough. Like I said, since he can see you, he might feel saf
e. And often times, they might fly really high when they’re spooked, but then have no idea how to get down.”
“It’s so cold and it’ll be dark in a few hours,” said Rose. “We have to get him down soon, or something might eat him!”
The cardinal seems like he’s pretty close to eating him, thought James. He didn’t have any insight to offer, so he kept his mouth shut.
Juliet spoke up again in a hushed tone. “I used to work at a wildlife sanctuary, and we had a free-flight show with a couple of falcons. Every once in a while, they would fly off, but we always got them back. I don’t want you to worry, okay?”
Rose nodded, her lips thin and white with pressure.
“I’d like to try bringing his cage outside. He may feel attracted to it, especially if it has some of his favorite toys.”
“Okay,” Rose said slowly. “Should I…?”
“No,” said Juliet. “Maybe your husband could go and get it?”
“I’m on it!” he said, turning to run into the house.
James felt bad for the man. He’d probably be sleeping outside under that tree tonight.
Juliet turned to James. “I think you should back away and get out of sight. He doesn’t know you, plus you have that camera that he doesn’t like.”
James nodded. “Okay, but I’ll keep an eye on him in case he flies away again.”
He walked into the backyard and planted himself behind a bush. He wanted to be helpful; it just so happened that he was most helpful while squatting in a bush.
Rose’s husband came out and carefully placed Deno’s cage on the ground in front of Rose. Juliet backed away and joined James behind the bush.
James felt the urge to crack a joke and ease the tension. “Bet you didn’t expect to go on a wild parrot chase today,” he whispered.
“That’s not funny,” she said gruffly, not looking at him. “Keep your voice down and try not to cause any more trouble.”
What? She was not going to blame this on him. “What do you mean more trouble? It’s not my fault that he can fly and sometimes chooses to do so.”
“I am not having this conversation with you right now,” said Juliet before moving to another bush.
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