by Elicia Hyder
“I owe you an apology,” he said.
She smirked but said nothing.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the Army,” he continued. “I just didn’t know how.”
She stopped walking and looked up at him. “You say something like, ‘Journey, just to let you know, I’m joining the Army.’ Geez, David, it’s not rocket science.”
As she turned, she wobbled and lost her footing, nearly falling into the lake. David grabbed her and held her steady on the bank.
She was warm against his body and so close that he could smell her coconut shampoo. Say something, he told himself. As she tried to pull away from him, he tightened his arms around her.
“Let me go,” she demanded.
There was enough light outside to reflect the tears sparkling in her eyes.
“Not until you listen to me,” he insisted. “I didn’t mean to make you this angry. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want it to be real that I was leaving you.”
“You didn’t even warn me!” she said through a clenched jaw. She was trying desperately not to cry.
He clasped his hands around hers and pulled them to his chest. “Because I know this is something I’m supposed to do. And I knew if you breathed one word about not wanting me to go, I would stay here forever.”
His words obviously caught her off guard. She looked at him wide-eyed for a moment as silent tears streamed down her cheeks.
He sighed and looked down at the ground. Say it, his mind urged.
“I would never stand in the way of your dreams,” she said quietly.
He shook his head and touched her cheek. “You wouldn’t have to.” His fingers trailed down to her jaw. “One frown and I would have given it all up.”
She finally softened. “How long will you be gone?”
He took her hand again. “I leave on Thursday for thirteen weeks. Then I’ll be home for seven days.”
“And then?” she asked.
He shrugged. “And then I don’t know what will happen.”
“Journey?” Steven’s voice wasn’t far away.
They looked back toward the house, and Steven was coming down the path. “Over here,” she answered.
Missed your chance, David thought.
Steven jogged to catch up with them. “What’s going on?”
Journey quickly wiped her eyes. “We were just talking. David joined the Army, and he was just giving me the details.”
David watched as a possessive arm slipped around Journey’s shoulders, and Steven’s dark eyes danced with elation in the moonlight. “That’s great, Dave!” He didn’t even attempt to hide the joy in his voice. “When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow,” David said.
“Well, I think that is something we should be drinking a toast to!” Steven turned Journey back toward the house. “Let’s go break open some champagne!”
David dropped his head and followed them.
Kara caught David’s eye as he trudged back up the steps to the porch. Her eyes were strangely inquisitive. She glanced over at Steven and Journey and then back at him. He walked over and leaned against the railing near her.
“What?” he asked, desperate to know why Kara was suddenly so annoyed with him.
She pointed at him. “You’re an idiot.”
· · ·
Journey’s bedroom was a wreck when she awoke the next morning. She was fully dressed, sprawled across her comforter. Steven was shirtless and drooling on the pillow beside her. At least she had made it to her own bed. Her head was pounding, and her mouth was so dry she could barely open it. “Never again,” she groaned as she slowly sat up.
She stumbled around the room for a moment before getting her bearings. Then she changed into some clean clothes and walked out of her room and down the hall to the kitchen. Kara was smoking a cigarette on the porch swing.
Journey poured a cup of coffee and walked out to join her. “Morning,” Kara said, sliding over to make room.
“Have you been up long?”
Kara shrugged. “Long enough to know I won’t make it through today without some coffee and pain killers.”
“Yeah, last night is a little hazy.”
“Do you remember talking to David?”
Journey thought for a second. “Yeah. That was before we cracked open that bottle of cinnamon schnapps. After that, my memory gets fuzzy.”
“What did you guys talk about?” Kara asked.
“He apologized. He said that he didn’t talk to me about it because he was afraid that I would talk him out of going.”
“That’s all?”
Journey shrugged. “Steven interrupted us.”
“Steven’s jealous,” she said.
“I know, but I guess he has the right to be.”
Kara shook her head. “I don’t know why you and David aren’t together. It’s obvious to everyone—except the two of you—that you’re in love with each other.”
Journey rolled her eyes and took a long drag on her cigarette. “Whatever.”
Journey wouldn’t let herself fall for David or at least would never admit it to anyone if she had. That would be the fastest way she knew of to lose him. He’d once told her that he liked her because she was so different than all of the other girls he knew. Two years in, she wasn’t about to become like all the rest.
A moment later, David appeared in the doorway. He walked across the deck and stretched out on the hammock across from them. “Have you forgiven me yet?” he asked Journey.
She shook her head. “No.”
He smiled. “I figured as much.”
“Hey Kara, can I have some of the painkillers you were talking about?” Journey asked. “I don’t know what hurts worse, my head or my foot.”
“Your tattoo?” David asked.
Journey nodded. “It hurts like hell.” Kara handed her some ibuprofen pills, and she swallowed them with a gulp of coffee.
Kara motioned toward the house. “I’m going to go and take a shower before everyone else gets the hot water.”
After she had gone inside, David reached an arm toward Journey. “Come here.”
She put her coffee down and walked to the hammock. She stretched out beside him. He dropped one leg to the porch floor and gently rocked them. She had been in the hammock with David a hundred times before, and she realized that this might be the last.
His hand brushed against hers and, without thinking, she wrapped her fingers around his. She heard him let out a deep, slow breath.
“I’m so mad at you,” she whispered as she felt tears well up in her eyes again.
“I know,” he replied. “But it won’t be forever.”
She shook her head. “It will be too long, David.”
He looked over at her. “You could come with me.”
She laughed. “I don’t think boot camp is one of those things you can bring a friend to.”
“I’m not talking about boot camp. I’m talking about after,” he said.
She looked over at him. “What?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Who knows where they might send me? Maybe California or Florida or even Hawaii. You could come, and we could get a place together off-base somewhere.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I am.”
She thought for a moment. “What about Steven and your string of girlfriends? Don’t you think things could get complicated?”
“I can handle complicated. It’s just something to think about.” He shifted awkwardly in the hammock and retrieved something from his pocket. He held out a small box to her.
“What is this?” she asked.
“It’s your birthday present. I was going to give it to you yesterday, but you not speaking to me at all kinda put a dent in that plan,” he said.
She took the box and flipped open the lid. Inside was a simple, silver ring. She pulled it out and slipped it on a finger. It slid right off. She gave him a curious look.
<
br /> “It’s a thumb ring,” he informed her, taking it and sliding it on her thumb.
“Oh,” she said. “Thanks.”
“Read the inside,” he added.
She slipped the ring back off and tilted it in the sunlight to read the inscription inside. My best friend, Forever. She smiled and put it back on her thumb before meshing her fingers with his and squeezing his hand. He squeezed back and rested his head against hers.
After a few moments of sweet silence, she peered up at the blue morning sky. “Best friends forever? What are you? A girl?”
He burst out laughing, and as he rolled to tickle her, he flipped the hammock.
4
The Summer Of '99
June 4th, 1999
Journey,
The first week here has been hell. I’m exhausted, and I have muscles that hurt that I didn’t know I had. Even my damn elbows hurt! They are so tough on us. One thing is for sure—I’m going to have the body of a god when I get done.
No one here knows how to speak at a normal level. They yell to wake us up, they yell to tell us to eat, and they yell to tell us to go to bed. I’ve learned new curse words I didn’t even know existed. I thought I was prepared for this since my dad has grilled me since I was a kid, but wow, I was wrong. This is ridiculous. We’ve already had guys talking about suicide to try and get out of here. Like jumping out of windows and stuff. Yeah, it’s THAT bad.
The only personal items I was allowed to keep when I got here were two pictures; one is that picture of me and you. Everything else is in storage. So, you were right... I over-packed.
Every second of every day is planned out, not leaving much time to write. This is the first time I have been allowed to write since I got here. But I promise to write every chance I get. This is my new address for the next few months, and I expect you to use it a lot! And I should get to make a phone call soon, so keep your cell close.
Well, they are getting ready to shut the lights off on me, so I have to cut this short. Write back when you get a chance. I can’t wait to hear from you.
Luv ya girl,
David
· · ·
Marcus was busy robbing a hooker on his Grand Theft Auto video game while Journey searched through the classified ads on his bed. “Are you ever going to go home?” he asked while swerving his controller trying to knock the hooker out of his way.
Journey didn’t look up from the newspaper. “Are you getting sick of me?”
“Yes,” he said and then muttered a few obscenities at his television.
She playfully kicked him in the back from behind.
His thumbs furiously pounded the game controller. “Seriously, have you even talked to your parents since they got back from London?”
“Nope,” she said letting the word dramatically pop off her lips.
He just shook his head.
Journey sat up on her knees. “Listen to this. ‘Charming cottage on Olaca Lake Road. Two bedrooms, two baths. Utilities included. Rent $800.’”
He didn’t look back at her. “You don’t have $800.”
She pinched his side, which she knew he hated, and he squirmed out of her reach. “You could move in, and we could be roommates.”
“No thanks,” he said.
Journey put him in a choke hold from behind. “Why not?”
He laughed. “Because you’re a train wreck.”
She bit his ear, and he yelped with pain.
“Damn it! You got me killed!” He slammed the controller down on the bed and used a quick, high school wrestling move to flip her over onto her back. He studied her face for a moment. “I can’t live with you,” he finally said, holding her down by her shoulders.
Her bottom lip poked out. “Why not?”
He pressed her upper body harder into the mattress. “Because I’m starting the police academy next week, and your boyfriend is a drug dealer.”
She frowned. “He’s not a drug dealer.”
Marcus rolled his eyes and let her go. “You live in Fantasyland.”
“Well, if he’s a drug dealer, he’s got to have plenty of money then. Maybe I should live with him.” She stuck her tongue out at him.
He watched her mouth for a second and then pulled his eyes up to meet hers. “I love you, but you can be as dumb as a box of rocks sometimes.”
· · ·
June 10th, 1999
David,
Sorry I haven’t been able to write sooner. I hadn’t been back to Mom and Dad’s till today, but they called and told me on my voicemail that I had a letter waiting from you. Do you see how much I love you, punk? It got pretty ugly when I showed up. I grabbed some more stuff and am going to stay with Steven for a few days. I think we are going to rent a house together. It’s got two bedrooms and a great big deck and a pretty big backyard. I think it will be the perfect place for your welcome home party!!! We’ll see. Write to me at Kara’s or Marcus’s for the time being.
I’m working full-time these days and it sucks. But I’m a grown-up now, and I need the money. Things aren’t the same without you here. It’s kinda thrown me for a loop. I’m not sure what to do with myself now. I don’t have anyone to go with me for ice cream runs at 2 AM and as hard as I try to talk Steven into all-day movie marathons at the theater, he just won’t go for it. I even get sad every time I see the stupid Dallas Cowboys’ logo. So, I guess it’s obvious that I miss you too!
How are things there with you? I’m sure it's unbelievably hard, but I KNOW that if anyone can do it, it’s you. So hang in there and don’t try to jump out of any windows, K? I can’t wait to see this god-like body when you get home.
Marcus said to tell you ‘hi,’ and so did Kara. They ask about you all the time. I’ll definitely start planning a party for you. It will be the blowout of the century.
Write back soon. And I’ll keep my cell phone on.
Love,
Journey
Ps. Marcus joined the police academy and bought a crotch-rocket. Say a prayer for all the innocent pedestrians of Emerson.
· · ·
Journey had planned to wait until her parents were at work to go home and pack all of her things, but when she pulled her white, beaten-up hatchback to the front door, her father’s truck was in its normal spot. She looked over her shoulder at Steven. “Crap.”
Steven studied the house for signs of life inside. “I thought you said no one would be home.”
The front curtains shifted as she killed the engine. “I didn’t think anyone would be.”
Steven groaned as he angled out of the car.
Journey took a deep breath and used her key to open the front door. Her father was standing in the foyer, next to a small stack of boxes and trash bags. Journey’s mind danced with confusion. “What is this?” she finally asked.
“Your clothes.” There was no emotion in his voice. “We’ve already cleaned out your room.”
Her eyes widened as she pushed past him toward the stairs. “You what?” She took the steps two at a time until she reached her bedroom, and she jerked to a stop when she stepped through the door. Everything was gone: her posters, her pictures of all her friends, even the five foot tall stuffed rooster that David had won for her at the fair. Gone. The sheets were stripped from the bed, and the closet was bare.
Her father was standing rigid with his arms folded over his chest when she turned around.
“What the hell did you do?” she shouted at him, her fists clenched at her sides.
“You don’t live here anymore.” He held tight control of his voice. “Go get your stuff downstairs and leave. I don’t want to see you—or him—here again.”
Journey stood there in stunned silence. “You’re serious? You’re kicking me out?”
His blue eyes were empty as he stared at her. He started to turn away slowly. “You’ve been gone for years.”
· · ·
June 17th, 1999
Journey,
I’m happy to report that I haven
’t jumped out of any windows just yet. But, god, this place is miserable. I’m so ready to be done with this shit, but don’t worry, I’m not suicidal. I miss having someone—anyone—to talk to. I hate almost everyone here, except the guy who was assigned as what’s called my “battle buddy.” We have to look out for each other and stay glued to each other’s hip all day and night. I guess I got lucky because he’s actually a really cool guy. He’s right up your alley—covered from head to toe in tattoos. I know you’re busy, but god I miss you.
So, Marcus got a bike? Have you ridden on it yet? Don’t let him drive like he does in a car with you on the back of that thing. Tell him I said it’s cool, but a Harley would’ve been better.
Did you get moved in the new house? I can’t wait to see it. I may kick Steven out when I get home and move in myself.
Less than 2 months to go until I’m home. I’ll be home on Friday, August 6th. I can’t wait! I’m just going to show up at your door without warning. I miss you so bad. Write back soon. I check the mail every day for a letter from you. Tell the gang I said hello.
Luv ya,
Dave
· · ·
June 22nd, 1999
Hey woman,
Hello? Are you alive? Is Marcus giving you my letters? I haven’t heard from you in a looooooong time, and I’m starting to get a little worried. My mom sent me a letter and said she ran into your mom at the grocery store. She said that you stormed out a week ago, and they haven’t heard from you since. You’re so damn dramatic. Call your mother. I know you think she’s a quack, but she’s just worried about you. And to be honest, you do seem to be going off the deep end a little. Don’t be pissed. You know I love you.
I get ONE phone call this weekend and YOU ARE IT. Answer the damn phone or I’ll go AWOL just to kick your ass.
Dave
· · ·
David picked at the peeling paint beside the payphone while the phone rang over and over. “C’mon. Pick up,” he muttered to himself.