by Elicia Hyder
As if sensing the tension, Kara grasped David by the front of his t-shirt. “Come smoke with me. I wanna hear all about the gas chamber.”
The volume in the room returned to normal when David went outside with his other friends. Once they were clear of all the hostility, David laughed with relief. “Thanks,” he said to Kara.
She handed him the beer she was holding. “Don’t mention it.”
“What the hell was that about?” David asked, rubbing his eyes.
Kara laughed. “You’re not stupid. You know what that was about.”
Marcus slapped David on the back. “You’re on his home turf now, brother,” he said. “Things have changed since you’ve been gone.”
David motioned back inside. “Is he high right now?”
Justin laughed. “You didn’t smell it? Hell, Journey probably is too.”
Kara shook her head. “Not today. She wouldn’t with David here.”
“You’re kidding?” David asked.
Kara, Justin, and Marcus all shook their heads.
“She’s kinda lost it in the past few months,” Kara said.
It was hard for David to believe what he was hearing. “Is she just smoking pot or what?”
Marcus shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I asked around at the station, and Steven only has a couple of misdemeanors: minor possession and an assault charge from high school. But I heard a rumor they are trying to pop his brother with some of the local coke distribution around here. That dude has a list of priors as long as my arm.”
David’s stomach turned.
Kara reached over and squeezed his arm. “Sorry to rain on your party.”
“No, I’m glad you told me,” he said. “I’ll talk to her.”
Marcus sighed. “Just don’t expect too much. Shit goes in one ear and out the other with her lately.”
David lit a cigarette and leaned back against the railing. He knew Journey had tried marijuana; most of his friends had. The only reason he, himself, hadn’t is because he had always wanted to be in some form of law enforcement. Until then, he had never given it much thought because hard drug use was rare in Emerson.
He watched Journey through the window as she turned up the stereo and began to dance around what would’ve been a dining room if they owned a table. She caught him staring and beckoned for him to come inside.
He shook his head. “No. You come out here,” he mouthed.
She bit her lower lip, shook her head, and continued to dance in front of the sliding glass door. She ran her fingers through her hair, leaving it wild and messy. It was about to make him crazy.
She had changed so much in the past year. She had always been a little wild—she had even gotten David drunk for the first time in high school—but this new level of dysfunction started around the same time she got the job at the restaurant. All of her new friends were older and none of them seemed to have any goals in life whatsoever. Then, when she met Steven, it was all over. David never felt more like an idiot than when he thought about not making a move for her before Steven did.
An hour later, Steven and his friends moved to the garage to play darts, and before Journey went out to join them, David took her by the arm. “I think I’m going to take off. I really don’t need to stay out too late my first night back.”
She pouted. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I don’t want to either, but I have to.”
She held his hand all the way to the front door. “It’s so good to have you back,” she said.
He shook his head and smiled. “You have no idea.”
Journey carefully scanned the room before turning back to him and lowering her voice. “Steven and the guys from his work have a racing team. They have a car that races every Saturday night about an hour away from here. I usually work, but I didn’t tell him I took tomorrow night off.” Her hazel eyes were sparkling with a mix of moonlight and mischief.
“Are you asking me to sneak out with you?” he whispered, trying to stuff his laughter.
She giggled and clasped his hands in hers. “Yes! It will be just like old times!”
He thought for a second and grinned. “Except then you were sneaking out of your parents’ house, and now you’re sneaking out of your own.”
She pressed a finger to her lips. “Shhhh…”
“Of course I will,” he said. “What time?”
“He always leaves here at four. So, I’ll meet you at your house at five,” she said.
He nodded, barely able to contain the smile that was threatening to erupt on his face. “Five,” he repeated. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead before releasing her. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
· · ·
There wasn’t enough Xanax in the world to help Journey get to sleep that night. She tossed and turned, continually replaying the events of the evening in her mind. She couldn’t believe how painfully hard her heart pounded each time she thought of the way David held her in his arms. And she wasn’t stupid. She knew that he was going to kiss her in the driveway. She also knew she would have let him.
She tried and tried to convince herself that he was simply caught up in the moment of being back at home and seeing her for the first time, but she knew that wasn’t true. She wondered what might have happened if he had never joined the military or if she had never met Steven.
She glanced over at her boyfriend who had passed out beside her. He was beautiful, on the exterior. He was exciting. He was dangerous. But her mother had been right: he was no David. However, they did live together, and she really didn’t have anywhere else to go. She couldn’t go back to her parents’ house, and despite what David had dreamed up, she couldn’t tag along with him in the Army. She had never felt so confused or so stuck in her entire life.
· · ·
The next day, Journey noticed a 'for sale' sign posted at the end of the Britton’s driveway when she pulled in. David was sitting on the front porch steps wearing jeans, a Dallas Cowboys t-shirt, and black sunglasses.
She smiled and got out of her car. “What’s with the sign?” she asked pointing.
He stood up. “They’re downsizing,” he said. “They say they don’t need the space anymore.”
She nodded. “Makes sense.”
He reached for her hand and led her inside.
Gail came out of the kitchen to greet her. “Journey!” she cheered, crossing the room and pulling her into a tight hug.
“Hey,” Journey replied. She pulled away and looked down at David’s tiny, white-haired mother. “I’m really sorry about running out on my birthday.”
Gail shook her head. “It’s OK, honey. It wasn’t your fault.” She glared over the top of her glasses at David. “It was my son’s fault.”
Journey laughed, and David just dropped his head.
Gail winked at her. “We’ll reschedule.”
Journey smiled and followed David downstairs to his room. It was even more packed up than the last time she had seen it, but that made sense if the Brittons were moving. The walls were bare, and a dusty cover was over the pool table.
She scrunched up her nose. “This is so weird.”
He nodded in agreement. “I know.” They entered his bedroom, and he sat down on the edge of his bed. “What do you want to do tonight?”
She rocked back and forth on her heels and stuffed her hands in her back pockets. “I don’t know. What do you want to do? You’re the one on vacation.”
He studied her for a minute, and she was glad she had dressed up a little. She was actually wearing boot cut jeans that didn’t have holes and a brand new pink jersey shirt that hung off one shoulder.
He reached out, hooked his finger in her belt loop, and pulled her between his knees. He wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled his face against her stomach. She ran her hands over the soft bristles of his short hair, and he let out a slow deep sigh. His warm breath penetrated the thin fabric of her shirt.
She closed her eyes and desp
erately tried not to let her knees buckle.
After a long silence, he looked up at her and smiled. “This is it. This is all I wanna do.”
She softly laughed and looked around the room. She knew that if they didn’t get out of there very soon, things were going to get infinitely more complicated. “I say, we go get in your truck, pick up some take out from Lottie’s Diner, and have dinner up at Look Off Rock,” she suggested. “Then maybe go catch a movie later.”
“Or…”
In one smooth motion, he had her flat on her back on the bed. She sucked in a deep breath while she took in how his triceps flexed as he held himself up over her. She forced out an awkward laugh, so as not to lose her head. “Or maybe we need to go get you a girl,” she said with wide eyes. “Apparently, you have been estrogen deprived for too long.”
Her words knocked the life right out of his eyes. He went from seductive to embarrassed with a blink. Swiftly, he pushed himself away from her and turned his back.
She clambered to her knees and put her hands on his shoulders. “Dave…”
He shifted away from her touch and stood up. “No, it’s cool.” When he blinked again the embarrassment was replaced with indifference. “You’re probably right,” he conceded, shaking his head. “Let’s get out of here.”
The silence in the air was palpable on the ride to Lottie’s Diner. Journey had no idea how to recover from the scene that had just imploded in his bedroom. His face was set toward the road, his hands not wavering from the steering wheel. Journey clung to the handle on her door like it was a lifeline. She wanted to jump out of her window. And when they pulled into the parking lot, everything went from bad to infinitely worse.
Rebecca Ashburn—David’s ex-girlfriend from high school—was walking to her tiny, blue sports car.
Journey watched David lower his sunglasses, checking to be certain it was her as he pulled into the space next to her. When he stepped out of the truck, Rebecca’s eyes lit up at the sight of him.
“Oh my god!” she squealed as he slammed his door closed.
Journey darted her eyes away as they embraced. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” she raged as she wrenched her door open.
They were still clinging to each other laughing when Journey walked to the front of the truck. She didn’t want to be anywhere near them, so she leaned against his front fender.
Rebecca had been the captain of the dance team and the cheerleading squad during high school. Her short white party dress showed off her perfectly tanned gymnast legs. She was just as disgustingly perky as ever.
“Well, hi there Journey!” Rebecca sang when she registered Journey’s presence.
“Hey,” Journey grumbled. She pointed to the diner. “I’ll let you two catch up. I’ll be inside.”
Neither of them even responded. David didn’t so much as glance in her direction as she walked away.
After ten long, angry minutes of waiting on the joyful reunion to subside, Journey called Kara from her cell phone. When Kara picked up, Journey asked, “Where are you?”
“Leaving my mom’s,” she answered. “What’s up?”
“I need a ride.”
· · ·
It wasn’t until Kara pulled up behind Rebecca’s car that David realized how badly he had screwed up. He intended to just make Journey a little jealous—not make her leave.
Journey flashed him a tight smile when she walked back out of the diner and gave him a little wave. “I’ll see ya, Dave. Good to see you again, Rebecca.”
Instinctively, he wanted to chase after her, but he didn’t want to do that in front of the girl who had broken his heart so badly two years before.
Rebecca placed her hand on his forearm drawing his attention back. “Do you need to go?” she asked.
He watched Journey duck into the passenger’s seat of Kara’s car. “No, I’m good,” he said.
He left with Rebecca’s new phone number, which he knew he would never dial, and returned home to an empty driveway. He sat there with his motor running until he realized that if he didn’t make things right with her immediately, it might never happen. He threw the truck into reverse and sped down the road.
Her car was in front of her house, and he spun up gravel as he peeled into her driveway. He walked inside without knocking and found her sitting on the kitchen counter with a smoking joint in her hand. She didn’t speak, and she didn’t take her eyes off of him as she took in a long drag. He crossed through the haze of sticky sweet smoke and took the joint from her fingertips. He snubbed it out in a butter dish.
“What the hell are you doing?” he shouted.
She pushed herself off the counter and attempted to blow by him. He didn’t budge, cornering her against the cabinets. “What do you care?”
He threw his hands in the air. “What do I care?” he bellowed. “You’re all I care about!”
She nodded with a dangerously fierce glare. “Oh really? You have a fascinating way of showing it!”
He let out a slow deep breath to steady his voice. “You’re driving everyone away. You’re ruining every relationship around you.”
She jabbed an angry finger in his chest and narrowed her eyes. “We don’t have a relationship!”
“Oh, I’m well aware!” He picked up the joint from the dish and slammed it into the sink. “What are you doing to yourself? The drugs? The parties? The douchebag boyfriend?” When he realized his arms were pinning her in the corner, he pushed back on his hands and stepped back slowly. He shook his head. “You’ve got to make a decision.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “Are you giving me an ultimatum?”
He nodded. “Yep. You can’t have me and this life both. I won’t sit here and watch you destroy yourself.”
She dropped her head, silent for a moment. Finally, she slowly crossed the room toward him and stopped at his side. He stared at the floor but could see her face turn toward him out of the corner of his eye.
Her voice was a low hiss. “Get out.”
· · ·
By the time Steven came home a little after midnight, she had successfully finished off what was left of the beer keg, and she had smoked all of the cigarettes and pot in the house. The TV was blaring, but she was staring at the little blue bag of powder on the coffee table in front of her.
He walked cautiously around to face her. “Hey babe,” he said. “What are you doing?”
She nodded to the bag. “Teach me.”
He dropped his keys on the couch and sat down next to her. “Bad day?”
She turned her bloodshot eyes to meet his but didn’t answer.
Steven pulled out his wallet and retrieved a dollar bill. She watched him roll it into a tight straw. He picked up the blue bag along with the dirty mirror upon which it rested and dumped out a small pile of soft white cocaine. Carefully, he chopped it up with a credit card and lined up three small rows on the mirror glass. Without hesitation, he offered her the dollar straw and held out the mirror balanced on his palms.
Ten minutes later, everything was numb.
6
Come And Get Me
Nothing was the same after David left town, except that Journey continued to spiral out of control. She rarely saw Kara. She saw even less of Marcus. She and Steven still lived together, but his enchantment over her was dwindling. She was snorting coke to get up in the morning and washing down Xanax with beer at night to fall asleep. The days blurred into weeks and the weeks into months, and by December, Journey wasn't having fun anymore.
Snow was coming down hard outside of the bar when Steven showed up around eleven on a Friday night. He rarely came to see her at work anymore. She carried a plate of food to a nearby table and then walked to the door. She wiped her hands on her apron.
“Hey,” she said.
He shuddered and dusted some snow off his black coat. “What time do you get off?” he asked.
“In about an hour. We are closing early because of the weather. What’s up?”
He nodded toward the window. “It’s snowing. I thought I would give you a ride home.”
She narrowed her eyes and examined his pupils. “Are you high?” she asked.
He laughed and kissed her. “You’re my girlfriend. I worry about you.”
She wanted to ask 'since when?' but thought better of it.
“Give me your keys. I’ll drop your car off at the house and get my truck,” he offered.
She handed him her keychain. “Be careful,” she said.
He gave her a quick kiss and turned to leave. “I’ll be back.”
She watched him walk back out into the snow, puzzled by his sudden concern for her well-being. After a moment, she shrugged and went back to work.
Forty-five minutes later, Steven returned and drank a beer at the bar while she cleaned up. As she wiped down one of the dining tables, one of the newer waitresses, whose name Journey could never remember, called to her from the back room. “Journey! Phone call!”
Journey walked to the back room and picked up the phone that was laying on her boss’ desk. “Hello?” she asked.
“Journ, it’s Marcus.”
“Hey?” she replied as a question. He had never called her at work before.
“Hey,” he said. “Sorry to bother you at work. Have you been there all day?”
“I came in at two,” she replied. “Why?”
She could hear his police scanner in the background. “Where is your car?” he asked.
“At home, why?”
“We just got a report of an accident involving a car that sounded like yours. I’m just checking on you,” he said.
“I’m fine. My car is at home. Steven is here to drive me since it’s snowing,” she said. “Is that it? I’ve got to close up here.”
“Yeah, that’s it. Glad it wasn’t you. Be careful tonight. The roads are getting really bad,” he said. “See you soon?”
“Sure,” she answered. She told him goodbye and hung up the phone.
When she walked back out, Steven looked up. “Everything OK?”