Blues I love scan over my face. “I see you,” he says evenly.
I swallow. My heart looks down in defeat. We aren’t going to be able to talk him into this.
If he wants to sell Red, it’ll be on his terms.
Do we even matter?
“I need to know what you’re going to do.”
He leans back in his chair and rests his hand on the table. I stare at him with jumpy eyes, looking at the man I love more than life.
His jaw ticks under his stubble. His neck is lean, and his eyes are middle of the ocean blue.
Bryce has always been beautiful, but looking at him in an orange jumpsuit and tattoos covering his skin… That I don’t give a fuck expression… I’ll do what I please.
He looks like a criminal.
He is a criminal.
And I’ll be his biggest crime.
Because he’ll murder me if this doesn’t work out.
How can everything be going so well and then bam, all the puzzle pieces are scattered, and I’m left crawling on my knees to find them all. We’ve come too far for this bullshit.
“I don’t know. I need time to think on it,” he says.
“You need time to think on it?” I scoff. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am. You don’t understand. That’s the only thing I have.”
My chest caves as though he’s punched me.
“The only thing you have?”
He groans and runs another hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean that.” He reaches over and grabs my hand. Warmth spreads throughout my chest, filling my heart with a small piece of comfort, but just as she gets cozy, her blanket is snatched away, leaving her cold.
“No touching,” the guard says against the wall. Bryce removes his hand, but we leave them on the table.
I look down at it. “This is killing me,” I say quietly. My eyes bounce up to his.
He swallows, skimming his blues over my face, surely noticing the dark circles under my eyes.
“Me, too,” he murmurs.
“Then do something about it.” I can’t help that my voice sounds harsh. I can’t help that I’m pissed off at everyone. I didn’t get a choice in any of this.
His jaw locks. “Don’t push me to do something I might resent you for.”
Tears prick my eyes and I rub the side of my face in…shock? Yeah, I’m in shock.
The man I love is saying he might resent me for wanting him to sell Red so he can have a future with me.
“You would resent me?” I whisper, broken.
He swallows.
“This was all before you, K. This was my life.”
I nod. “And you’re mine, but it looks like that doesn’t matter, does it?”
“Don’t say that,” he says.
I wipe at my cheeks, my heart bleeding.
“I love you,” he says.
I shake my head. “No, you don’t. If you did, this would be simple.”
He groans, “None of this is simple.”
“It would be for me.” Anger slithers in, colliding with hurt and heartache.
It’s a dangerous combination.
I lean up and grab his hand from the table, placing it over my chest. “Feel this?” I ask him. “Feel how your mistakes are ripping my heart out. You take all the fucking time you need to decide if you wanna sell your precious club. I’ll just be out there living without you.”
“Hey, no touching,” the guard says a little harsher.
I push Bryce’s hand away, looking into blues that burn. “No worries. I’m leaving.” I stand up.
“Don’t leave like this,” Bryce says, standing up, too.
I smirk. “I think I will. Because it’s the only thing I get a choice in.”
I leave him standing there and I feel him watch me walk away.
My heart falls on its knees and pitches a fit as I exit the jail and walk to my car.
Climbing inside, I start the engine and pull out of the parking lot.
How can he do this?
He has a choice to get out of there and he has to think on it? I grip the steering wheel tightly and clench my teeth.
I scream at the top of my lungs and bang on the steering wheel. Pulling over, I yank the car in park as tears bleed from my eyes and blur my vision.
None of this is fair.
I hit the wheel over and over, blowing the horn and causing attention to myself, but I don’t give a shit.
I sob as I place my forehead against the wheel. Rolling my head, I let the tears come out in waves.
My life is in shambles, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.
Chapter Five
Kathrine
The moon glows, covering the floor with blue light. It hangs proudly, sharing the sky with twinkling stars. Watching the night, as it slips through time. Until it’s no longer needed and has to give up its spot so the sun can have its moment to shine.
I sit on the couch, alone in the big apartment. Dried-up tears make my skin feel sticky and wind-chapped. Sleep doesn’t comfort me, but the silence in this apartment wraps me tightly, until I feel like I’ll combust from the inside out.
How did he stay here so many years alone? My heart lifts its head from the floor, with heavy lids and zero energy.
We’re tired.
But as the moon says goodbye, the sun keeps its promise and sets the sky on fire. Warming my face as it covers me in rusty orange and glittery gold. I’ve sat here, thinking about our fight yesterday. I physically hurt and I hate that I walked away from him.
I was angry.
I wanted him to pick me.
I didn’t even think about the life Bryce had before I came along. I know Red is important to him, but dammit. It could be a deal breaker here.
If he’s sitting in prison, who’s going to run the place, anyway? Is he even thinking about that, or is it just the fact that he doesn’t want another man to have control over everything he’s worked for?
God, men and their fucking egos. I reach up and slide my ponytail holder out of my hair, running my fingers through the tangled strands.
I exhale as a knock sounds on the front door. Throwing the blanket off of me, I stand on weary legs and walk over, looking through the peephole.
My eyes narrow at dirty blonde hair. I twist the lock and pull the door open.
“Hey.” Her voice is small and low, like always. But it’s the only thing I’ve heard all night, beside the traffic below and the hum from the AC unit. She looks me over.
“Have you been asleep?” she asks.
I shake my head.
She nods in understanding and lifts her hand, showing me she’s brought food. The smell makes my stomach turn.
“Can I come in?”
Mary looks healthy. She’s healed and gained her strength back from being laid up in a bed, fighting for her life.
The woman has overdosed before, but apparently, it’s never been that serious. She almost died, and the realization of that has made her change her ways. She no longer seems to be taking the life she’s been gifted for granted, but time has a way of revealing just how much a person is willing to stick with that change.
We will see what Mary does.
“Sure,” I say without emotion. I don’t feel like having company, but it’s whatever. I drag my feet back to the couch and sit down, looking at my phone to see if I missed a call.
Still nothing.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
I look down at the bottle of bourbon I stopped sipping on some time during the night.
“You should eat. Get something in you besides that,” she says. She doesn’t say it in a judgmental way, but mother-like.
Isn’t she playing mom to the wrong kid, though?
Her son’s in jail, and her other is God knows where, doing God knows what.
And she’s here looking after me?
It doesn’t make sense, and I find myself speaking before my brain can catch up.
“Why are you here?”
She’s fresh out of rehab. She’s in that new stage where they have all the hope of changing and doing the right thing, but as soon as they grow accustomed to that, the disease starts whispering from the darkness, ready to pull them back down with it.
And then the people who care are left behind, wondering what the fuck they did wrong.
“I heard what happened from Lee and I wanted to help.”
“You wanted to help?” I ask. “You thought coming over here and trying to shove food I don’t want down my throat is helping?”
She frowns.
“How about go find Jace and see what the fuck he’s doing. How about call your kid Bryce. You know, the one who helps every one of you in this sorry as shit family.”
Tears blur my vision. “I’m not your child. I don’t need your help.” I swipe angrily at the tears running down my face, and for the first time in my life, I need something that I’ve never considered before.
I need comforting.
I need someone to wrap their arms around me and tell me this is all going to be okay.
I want Bryce, but he isn’t here.
I knew this would happen.
I knew if I let myself need someone, they would disappear on me.
Leaving me a broken mess.
My chest aches as my heart cries. I cover my mouth, trying to catch the sob that releases. My vision grows hazier and I bend, letting sadness mix with heartbreak.
Devastation couples with exhaustion.
I hit the floor.
I jolt when I feel hands on me. Mary soothes me like a baby, wrapping me in her arms and I don’t even have the strength to pull away.
And as I shudder and release, I realize I don’t want to. My heart sighs contently, as tears river down our cheeks.
It’s happy to have someone here.
We both are.
__________
Mary keeps me company but doesn’t suffocate. Lee called and says he’ll be here any minute because today’s the day we should hear something about court. There’s been nothing from Jace, though, and I’m worried. He won’t answer my phone call; he won’t answer any of us.
After a shower, I put on some jeans and a plain white tee. I look in the mirror at my reflection. I’m tan from the sun, but my eyes are tired and puffy from crying. I dry my hair before pulling it back and exiting the bathroom.
I have no idea where we go from here. What’s to be expected. It’s all driving me mad. I tread back down the stairs, my eyes landing on the coffee table. Mary put the bourbon away, and there’s a cup of steaming coffee with Lee Grant sitting on Bryce’s couch.
“Hey,” I say, entering the living room. Mary busies herself in the kitchen.
“Hey darlin’,” he replies. “You all right?”
I shrug, grabbing my phone from the table.
Still no calls.
I exhale.
“The lawyers are working on getting Bryce out. He’ll have a bail hearing today.”
“What does that mean?” I ask.
“It means the judge will determine if Bryce will be released while he is on trial.”
The judge.
My mind goes back to our conversation yesterday.
Maybe because Bryce doesn’t have a record and hasn’t done anything like this before he’ll be able to come home?
The thought of having him home has my heart standing and wanting to freshen up.
Go wash your face, girl. We need to look good for our guy.
I roll my eyes.
Bryce can take me as I am.
His illegal gambling has taken years off my life. “I’ll be outside,” I say, walking to the balcony door. I slide it open, the warm morning air brushes over my skin, and the sun smiles down on me.
I take a seat on the lounge chair, my mind going back to a time Bryce was at one of his low points. He was drunk out here, hurt over the woman inside his house now. It was a raw moment between us.
He lazily holds the bottle beside him. “You should get out while you can,” he says to me as he brings it to his lips and takes another swallow.
I reach out and gently grab it from him. Bringing it to my own lips, I take a sip, wincing as the harsh liquor goes down my throat. I want him to know we’re in this together. If he drinks, I drink. If he’s sad, I’m sad.
I place the bottle down beside us. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He narrows his sad blue eyes. His face holds a five o’clock shadow, and his hair is growing out. The wind blows, and I can smell his scent—bright vivid green, forest spice.
He’s all man. He’s all mine.
He’s fucked up mentally and emotionally. But so am I. We’re two of the same. I know more about his life now. I understand why he is the way he is, and I care about him no less.
In fact, I care about him more.
Standing and careful not to kick the bottle over, I turn and lift my leg, placing it over his waist on the other side of the chair, straddling him. His hands go to my hips, and he looks up at me.
Splashed in glowing moonlight, he looks beautiful, and I lean down and touch the side of his face as I kiss his lips. His hands tighten their hold on me, and he kisses me back, sitting up.
He moves my shirt up as he lightly rubs my skin while our tongues taste and lick. It’s slow and meaningful; it’s earth-shattering and soul-searching.
We don’t rush anything. We don’t go any farther.
We kiss.
We touch.
We feel.
He told me I should get out while I can. I laugh to myself.
Stupid boy.
I was gone the minute I walked into Red.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him even then.
And now, look how deep I am. I’m swimming in dark water, struggling to find the surface.
My eyes go out to the high-rise buildings surrounding me. I rest my head back, crossing my ankles. Barefoot and tired, I let my mind wander to how my future might be as I look at the sun shimmering on the windows.
Will I live here forever?
I love the city. I love the hustle and bustle, and the convenience of it. There’s nothing you can’t get hand-delivered. I love that everyone is always walking here and there and dressed like they have somewhere important to be.
I grew up with none of this, in an empty field, surrounded by loneliness in a house filled with dread.
I inhale deeply, holding on to my cell, like it’s my lifeline. The only thing connecting me to Bryce. No matter how mad I am at him, I can’t shut off love.
Crazy how he’s the center of my world now. How much things have changed in my life? And the fact of the matter is, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I need him, like the city needs people to thrive. I want him, like the sun burns. No matter what happens with all of this, I will wait for him.
I will forever wait.
My eyes close as my mind drifts farther, until finally sleep gifts me a moment of peace.
Chapter Six
Kathrine
I’m shaken awake and jolt when I see Mary leaning over me. I scrub down my face and look around. I fell asleep. I blink and sit up, feeling the sting on my skin from the sun.
“What’s going on?” I ask, my voice sounding thick with sleep.
“The lawyer called. Bryce’s hearing is in a little over an hour.”
“How long have I been asleep?” I grab my phone and see it’s almost lunch.
“A few hours. You needed it.” She gives me a sympathetic look.
I rub my eyes. “I could have used more.”
“Maybe Bryce will come home today and you both can get some rest.”
“Yeah,” I say. “But for how long?”
She sighs. “Unfortunately, there’s no way of knowing that. He got himself into a real mess here.”
“Have y’all spoken to Jace?”
“No. Still nothing.”
I look down at the cement floor. There’s no
telling what that boy is getting into. I haven’t heard from him since Friday night. He was drunk and told me he was going to sleep it off in the loft, so I called an Uber and came here to this lonely ass place.
“I’m going to check his apartment and the loft at Red.”
“I checked his apartment,” she says.
I lift a brow, surprised to hear this.
“He wasn’t there, or maybe he just didn’t come to the door. We know how he feels about me.” She looks ashamed but understanding.
I don’t say anything.
For once I’m amazed that she went over there. Jace doesn’t have any fond feelings for this woman, and I’m sure he’s in a pretty bad state right now. Jace is unpredictable and that can be scary. I don’t think he’d hurt Mary, but he sure as hell wouldn’t be kind.
Her eyes dance over me. “I made sandwiches. Maybe you can grab one before you head to Red?”
I smirk. She obviously thinks I need to eat.
“Um, thanks. I might when I get back.” I stand up and roll my neck. “Is Lee still here?”
“Yeah.” She looks inside the window. “He doesn’t talk to me much. But he’s sitting in the living room. I’m surprised he even called and told me about Bryce.”
For a split second, I wonder why he doesn’t talk to her much, but then I think about everything and I get it. Lee was there from the beginning. He was in the hospital with those boys when their mother signed away her rights and got the hell out of there. I’m sure he doesn’t think very highly of Mary and with good reason. He’s tolerating her because of Bryce. She looks back at me, and there’s something there that I didn’t notice before.
A resolve.
Maybe she isn’t going to go back to her old ways. Maybe she’s finally decided to move on with her life.
“He’s a quiet man,” I say.
She nods. “Well, you better get going so you can get back and be ready to leave.”
“Yeah. I’ll be back.” I walk into the apartment, the air cooling my skin from sunshine.
“I’m going to see if Jace is at Red,” I say to Lee when he looks over at me.
He nods and rubs his silver goatee. I see he has an empty plate in front of him. He may not talk to Mary, but at least he’s being polite by accepting her food. It’s more than I can say for her sons. They don’t care about her feelings too much.
Give Me Forever Love (Give Me Series Book 3) Page 3