by Elaine Viets
Mrs. B. left town and was never heard from again. Jillian married the honest dentist Lance at last. Helen hoped for their future happiness that their eyes didn’t go sliding anywhere.
She closed the dreadful book and thought again of dear Mr. Davies. He may have given Helen the key to solve his own murder. Helen was wrong about Melanie. She’d made the same mistake as some men—if a woman was a blonde with a big chest, she must be dumb.
The book was badly written, but Helen had learned a lot.
Melanie thought it was OK to smother dissolute drunks. Her heroine got away with murder and lived happily ever after.
Melanie was not disorganized. She wrote a whole book—a bad one, maybe, but even that took effort. She knew how to construct a murder plot.
Melanie knew a thing or two about lock picking. And that meant she could have easily gotten into Peggy’s tented apartment.
But even if she could get into the Coronado, where would she get the SCBA breathing gear? Helen doubted that even the most grateful patient would lend her that. Trevor said it cost two thousand dollars new. Helen didn’t think Melanie had that kind of money.
Helen moved slowly around the bookstore that morning. She’d had less than three hours’ sleep. But she felt she was finally getting somewhere. On her lunch hour, she bought a double espresso and walked over to the Broward County Library to check out SCBA gear on the Internet. Unfortunately, every computer was taken, and it would be twenty minutes before one was free. That might not be enough time.
Helen couldn’t wait. She found a pay phone, called her friend Sarah and prayed she was home.
She answered on the fourth ring. “Hi, Helen, what are you doing?”
Helen could see curly-haired Sarah in her Hollywood beach condo, her computer set up so she could watch the ocean. “I don’t have much time to talk. I have a suspect who may know how to pick locks.”
“That would get him in the door.”
“Her,” Helen said. “But I don’t know if she has access to SCBA breathing gear. Can you do an Internet search for me?”
“Sure. What do you want me to look for?”
“Can regular people buy it, or do you need a special license? Can you find it for less than two thousand dollars?”
“Want to hang on while I search?” Sarah said.
“Better not. I’ll call you at two.”
By the time Helen walked back to the store, her lunch hour was nearly over. At one o’clock, she opened her cash register, and watched the hands loiter on the clock face. She didn’t think a court order would get them to move.
Finally, it was two. She asked Brad to cover for her for five minutes. Back in the break room, she called Sarah. “I’ve got good news,” her friend said. “Anyone can buy SCBA equipment. In fact, after nine-eleven there’s been quite a bit of interest in it. People are buying it the way our grandfathers built nuclear bomb shelters in their backyards. They’re afraid of a poison-gas attack.”
“If there was an attack, would you want to be one of the few survivors?”
“No, thanks,” Sarah said. “I’d get stuck with the cleanup. The point is, anyone can buy this gear. It’s expensive new. But you can also buy it used. You can buy used thirty-minute units for around five hundred dollars.”
“You did have good news,” Helen said. “I couldn’t see this woman spending two thousand dollars. But she might come up with five hundred. Suddenly, Page Turner’s death is positively cheap.”
“OK, I did your research. Now tell me who your suspect is,” Sarah said.
“Melanie, the print-on-demand author. She wears those plastic see-through heels. That’s why Mr. Davies said she looked like Cinderella. She’s got blond hair, too. I read her book last night. She’s a terrible writer. But her character smothers the bad guy, and then picks some locks to get the incriminating photos.”
“Interesting,” Sarah said.
“That’s because I left out the dull parts,” Helen said. “Here’s how I see it: Melanie, a blond, blue-eyed dental assistant, hungers for romance. She meets Page Turner and imagines this wonderful future. She’ll have a mad, passionate affair with the bookstore owner. They’ll have great literary discussions, and, incidentally, he’ll promote her book. She falls into Page Turner’s clutches.”
“Did you say clutches?” Sarah said.
“It’s not my fault. I’ve been reading Melanie’s romantic mystery or mysterious romance.
“Page sees it differently. He has her for a quickie on his couch. He expected her to go quietly. But Melanie isn’t like the others. She had dreams not just for herself, but her beloved book. Page Turner shattered those precious dreams. So Melanie struck back at her seducer.”
“How much longer before you talk normally?” Sarah said.
“It should wear off shortly,” Helen said. “What do you think?”
“It has possibilities. How are you going to get this accursed murderess arrested for her vile deeds? Please don’t say you’re going after her alone.”
“Not me. I’m not one of those half-wit heroines who runs into the empty house looking for the killer. When I get off work, I’ll go check the lock on Peggy’s door. If it’s a Tandy, I’ll call Detective Gilbert. Even if isn’t, I’ll call him. But that brand will make my case stronger.
“Gilbert can get a search warrant and check Melanie’s apartment for lock-picking tools and SCBA gear. He can get those Cinderella shoes and probably other evidence I can’t think of. He’ll have the murderer of Mr. Davies and Page Turner and Peggy will go free.”
“Helen, you’re more romantic than Melanie. You really do believe in happy endings,” Sarah said.
Helen went back to her cash register. The clock hands continued to crawl. At three p.m., the letter carrier brought in the store mail. She handed the big stack to Helen and said, “There’s a package for you.”
Helen never got mail. But the package definitely had her name on it. It looked like a shoebox wrapped in brown paper. There was no return address. Helen did not like this. Dr. Rich could be sending her something, or Gabriel. Neither one would give her a pleasant present. She shook the box. It sounded harmless. She held it up to her ear. No ticking.
Here goes, she thought. She pulled off the brown paper, then lifted the lid.
What she saw inside made her gag.
It was a dead parrot.
Chapter 28
Helen gathered her courage and looked again. The green feathers were too bright. That color was not found in nature.
It wasn’t a dead parrot. It was a Styrofoam bird covered with dyed green feathers. Helen could breathe again. Pete was OK. She saw she’d been clutching the counter for support. Gayle was standing next to her, looking worried.
“What’s wrong, Helen?” she said. “Are you sick again?”
“Someone sent me this weird thing,” Helen said.
Gayle looked in the box. “Is that a dead bird? No, it’s a fake. But it looks dead. That’s horrible. There’s a note in the box. It looks weird, too.”
The letters were cut out of magazines and newspapers and pasted to plain white paper. The note said, If Peggy wishes to gaze upon her darling bird again, you must stop your sleuthing. Cease or her beloved pet will feel the cold gaze of mortality.
“‘Cold gaze of mortality’?” Gayle said. “What does that mean?”
“Someone’s going to kill Pete the parrot,” Helen said.
“Should I call the cops? What sicko wrote that?”
“I have a good idea. I’ve got to go home. Someone may hurt Pete.”
“Go on. I’ll cover for you,” Gayle said, but Helen was already running out of the store. If her investigating led to Pete’s death, she’d never forgive herself. Peggy would never forgive her, either. Peggy might give up if anything happened to Pete.
Helen couldn’t bear the thought. She came to a street corner and was held up by the world’s longest red light. Twice, she tried to dash across. Twice, cars nearly ran her down. Angry driv
ers honked at her. One man leaned out the window and yelled, “Are you trying to get killed, lady?”
I’m trying to stop a death, she thought. She willed herself to take deep breaths until the light finally changed.
Pete will be OK, she told herself. He’s with Margery. She’s tough and smart.
She’s seventy-six years old. What chance did an old woman have if a killer surprised her? Helen redoubled her running efforts. She tripped on an uneven sidewalk and fell forward, landing on both hands. Her palms were scraped, but nothing felt broken. She wasted no more time looking for potential damage. Helen ran.
She could see the turquoise Coronado sign on the ice-cream-white building. She could hear the rattling air conditioners. Best of all, she heard a parrot squawk. She hoped it was Pete and not one of the wild birds in the palm trees.
Helen knocked on Margery’s door.
Silence.
“Margery! Margery, are you home?” She hammered her fists until the jalousie glass rattled and her knuckles were raw.
“I’m coming, I’m coming. Hold your horses.” Never had bad-tempered words sounded so good. Her landlady opened the door. She’d clearly been asleep. One side of her hair was flattened, her red lipstick was smeared, and there were sheet wrinkles in her skin.
“Where’s Pete?” Helen said.
“Asleep, too, for a change. That’s how I finally got some shut-eye.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. His cage is right over—”
But his cage wasn’t there. Only the stand and a scattered pile of seed remained. “Where’d he go?” Margery said, bewildered. “How the heck did someone get into my place and steal that parrot?”
Helen looked at the door lock. “Lock picks. You have a Tandy DE345 lock. The killer picked it and took Pete. It’s Melanie. She killed Page Turner. She kidnapped Pete to make me stop looking for her. She says she’ll kill him. She has a cat. A big mean Siamese. He’ll tear Pete to pieces, if she doesn’t.”
“Oh, Lord, if anything happens to Pete, Peggy will kill both of us,” Margery said, then looked at Helen. “I didn’t mean that.”
“I know,” Helen said.
“Do you know where this Melanie lives?”
“No, but I know how to find her. Where’s your phone book?”
Helen called the Mr. Goodtooth Clinic. “Melanie has left for the day,” the receptionist said.
Melanie took the afternoon off for a little birdnapping, Helen thought.
“Do you have her home phone? This is Page Turners bookstore. We’re trying to get in touch with her.”
“Page Turners! I know she’s been wanting a book signing at your store. She’ll be so disappointed she missed your call. Melanie left early to go to a wedding at the Tree of Life Baptist church. You need her home phone? She may still be at home getting dressed. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you called.”
“Could I have her address also?” Helen said. “We want to send her our author-information packet.”
The receptionist obligingly gave out Melanie’s address and phone number.
“I’ll drive you there,” Margery said. She had miraculously put herself back together during that short phone call.
They made it in ten minutes, with Margery breaking the speed limit. Melanie lived in a spectacularly ugly 1970s apartment complex. Helen expected the Saturday Night Fever John Travolta to come dancing out the door.
“That’s her building—two-twelve,” Margery said. “She’s in apartment A on the first floor.”
Even from the parking lot, Helen could hear outraged squawking and cat yowls.
“Pete!” Helen said. “Pete’s in trouble. Those aren’t his usual squawks.”
Margery rang the doorbell and yelled, “Melanie, it’s your aunt Purdy. Are you home?”
“Aunt who?”
“That’s in case the neighbors are watching,” Margery said. “Nobody’s home. Can you pick a lock?”
“No, but I can break a window.” Helen grabbed a big rock out of the planter and smashed one of the slitlike windows beside the front door. Two more sweeps removed most of the glass shards. She squeezed her hand in and unlocked the dead bolt. She got a long scratch on her arm, but it didn’t bleed much.
“I’m coming in with you,” Margery said.
“I need you to stand guard out here,” Helen said. “Yell if she comes back.”
Helen followed the cat yowls and parrot squawks to Pete. His cage was in the guest room on a dresser spread with newspaper. The room was a riot of cabbage-rose wallpaper, cat hair, and bird feathers.
Pete sat unharmed in his cage, his eyes glittering with rage. A scowling Siamese cowered under the bed. Fear puffed its fur to twice its size. The cat hissed at Helen and started toward her, but Pete squawked again and the animal backed under the bed. Helen grabbed the cage, shut the door on the cat, and ran out of the room.
She could hear Margery talking as she approached the door. “I’m sorry that bird was making such a racket,” she said. “Melanie called and asked us to take it away.”
Really, Margery was the most incredible liar, Helen thought as she opened the door. Her landlady was standing in front of the broken window to hide as much damage as possible, and talking to a woman with gray permed hair and thick glasses. Helen hoped she couldn’t see the shattered glass.
“There you are, dear,” Margery said. “That bird’s racket has been disturbing the whole complex, Brenda says. My niece will take care of the bird while I’m at the wedding. By the way, Brenda, can you direct me to the Tree of Life Baptist church from here? I’m a little flustered.”
Margery forgot she was wearing purple shorts, hardly proper attire for a church wedding. Brenda didn’t seem to notice. You got used to bizarre costumes in South Florida.
The woman gave Margery directions to the church, three blocks away. As they climbed back in the car, Helen said, “Take Pete home. I’m going to that wedding to make sure Melanie doesn’t get away. Call Detective Gil Gilbert and let him know what’s going on. I don’t know if a birdnapping is enough to get his interest, but tell him about the lock picking and the smothering scene in her book. Oh, and don’t forget the Cinderella shoes.”
“I’ll call him as soon as I get home,” Margery said. “Then I’m calling a locksmith.”
At the church, Helen was glad she was wearing her bookstore clothes. She could pass as a wedding guest, if she picked the feathers out of her hair and took off her Page Turners name tag.
She looked around the church and saw no sign of Melanie. But she did see a choice spot in the back row on the groom’s side, between a huge man and a woman with a hat the size of a truck tire. Helen figured she could hide between the two and observe the other guests. The man must have come straight from work. He was wearing a security-guard uniform and looked like a minivan in a tie.
Helen squeezed in between the hat and the minivan and looked for Melanie. She didn’t see her. Helen was getting nervous. Did she have the right wedding? Did Melanie decide to bolt? No, she wouldn’t leave her cat.
When the processional music started, she finally saw Melanie. She was a bridesmaid. Her dress would have sent Scarlett O’Hara into a jealous fit. It was powder-blue chiffon, with a hoop skirt that stretched from pew to shining pew. Ruffles cascaded down her front and dripped off the sleeves. Her flowing blond hair was topped with an enormous picture hat. Dyed-to-match ankle-strap heels peeped out from under the swaying skirt. Her bouquet was big as a shrub. Melanie looked sublimely happy. For her, this was romance with a capital R. She did not notice Helen as she floated down the aisle in her blue chiffon dream.
Four more blond bridesmaids followed, skirts swaying like lamp shades in a hurricane.
The brunette bride came out in a simple white satin princess gown, her skirt about half the size of her bridesmaids’ dresses. Clever woman, Helen thought. She looked impossibly skinny and sophisticated in that sea of chiffon.
The groom and his men were up there some
where, overwhelmed by yards of fabric.
Baptist weddings were conducted at breakneck speed compared to the Catholic ceremonies Helen knew. Within fifteen minutes, the minister was introducing the new Mr. and Mrs. Farley Ostrander to the congregation. Helen clapped dutifully along with everyone else.
The bride and groom left arm in arm. Then Melanie wobbled back down the aisle on the arm of a groomsman. Helen edged closer to the hulking security guard, hoping to go unnoticed.
But Melanie saw Helen as she came down the aisle. Her face mirrored her panic. Melanie tossed her bouquet into the nearest pew and tried to cut through the pews on the bride’s side. Her huge skirt wouldn’t fit. She picked it up and held out it at an angle, exposing sheer-to-the-waist panty hose and unromantic white underwear. The church was speechless with shock as Melanie ran through the door at the end of the aisle.
Helen followed, stomping on the feet of a woman in a coral silk suit. Someone screamed. The other bridesmaids and groomsmen halted in the aisle.
“Stop that woman. She’s ruining my wedding,” shouted the bride, and the wedding party took off after Helen. A welter of skirts tried to squeeze after her. Helen heard the snap of a hoop and an “Ouch!” The other bridesmaids followed Melanie’s lead and tilted their skirts either forward or backward, displaying garments rarely seen in church.
Helen went through the door and then locked it. She could hear Melanie clattering down the steps. She followed and locked the door at the bottom of the steps, too. Now she was in a church reception area. At least, Helen thought that’s what it was. This wedding was very different from the lavish Catholic affairs she was used to.
The Baptist wedding reception had cake and punch and a pretty flower centerpiece. The punch was pale pink with something fizzy. An ice ring of strawberries floated in the massive cut-glass bowl. It was a classy little reception. There were real china cups for the coffee. The caterers were setting out some nifty canapes on a silver tray. Helen’s stomach growled as she passed the miniquesadillas. The sesame chicken skewers looked good, too.