Can't Just Be His Friend

by Tina Martin

  I was speechless. All I could offer him was a nervous smile.

  “I’m so glad you came out with me tonight,” he said, fiddling with my fingers now.

  “I am too.”

  “There’s no other person I’d rather be with.”

  “Aw…Reggie. Stop it,” I said, slowly sliding my hand from underneath his, resting it in my lap now.

  “I’m serious,” he said.

  “I think you just had one, too many. That’s all.”

  “No I haven’t,” he said seriously. “I haven’t had anything to drink besides a bottle of water.”

  I smiled tensely, thinking about Brenda’s comment earlier today. That man is feeling you girl, she said all gossipy and now I was thinking she was right. Reggie couldn’t take his eyes off of me and I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable – thinking about how many people in this joint (mostly college students) must have known us, known our story…that we were best friends and that Reggie was Shontay’s man. What would they think of us now as we sat staring at each other all dreamy-eyed like we were in love? What would Shontay think? Had she walked in this place and saw the way her man was looking at me, what would she think?

  “Reggie, I gotta get going,” I said to break away from him and this confusion.

  “Nooo,” he said, elongating the word, which made me wonder if all he really had to drink was water.

  “Yesss, I got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow.”

  Reggie sighed deeply then said, “Ah’ight. I guess I’ll let you go. Come on. I’ll walk you to your car.”

  On the way to my car, he took my hand, swung our arms back and forth and said right before we got to the car, “I’m really glad you came.”

  I smiled and said, “I know. You told me already, Reggie.”

  “Oh, I did?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Are you sure you didn’t have anything to drink?”

  He laughed and said, “Yeah I’m sure. It’s you that has me actin’ like this…making me woozy.”

  “Whatever,” I said, laughing. “Anyway, I’ll see you later.”

  “Ah’ight,” Reggie said, hugging me, then he slammed his juicy lips on my forehead.

  “Bye, Reg.”

  “Bye,” he said, watching me get in my car, waving at me as I drove off.

  All I could do as I drove away was shake my head, mad at myself that I couldn’t tell Reggie I needed to back away from him, or if anything, tell him we needed to fix our dysfunctional relationship – for both of our sakes.

  Chapter 5

  I didn’t wake up until about eight o’clock on Saturday, and the day was already starting off right. The sun was peeping in my windows and the sounds of birds chirping had me singing. It was going to be a nice, hot day and nothing, I repeat, nothing could ruin my day after the night I spent with Reggie.

  Today, I made plans to go shopping with Jennifer. We both needed more summer gear to update our wardrobes. I put on some khaki capris, a white halter top and some white flip flops. I dabbed on some strawberry-scented body splash and brushed my hair back into a short ponytail. I was ready to go.

  Jennifer called me right after I had finished getting myself together. She was on the way over and soon after I got off the phone with her, I heard a knock at the door. It could be one of two people – Mom or Reggie.

  I peered through the peephole. It wasn’t Mom. It wasn’t Reggie. It was Shontay. Of all the people who could’ve been at my door, it was Shontay.

  Shontay?

  What on earth is she doing here, I thought to myself. She had her hands on her hips like she had an attitude as if I wasn’t answering the door fast enough.

  I opened the door. “Hey Shontay. What are you doing here?”

  She took a deep breath and said, “Can I come in for a minute?”

  “Ah…yeah. Come on in,” I told her, following her trail of perfume. “What’s up?”

  “Ah…Tiffany, I really don’t know how to say this.” Shontay nervously played with her fingers after she sat her big butt on my couch. I could tell she was antsy about something. Then I started to worry about Reggie. What if something had happened to him?

  “Is Reggie okay?” I asked her. I wanted to confirm that there was nothing wrong with him before the conversation continued.

  “Yes, Reggie’s fine and that’s who I want to talk to you about. Tiffany, I know you and Reggie grew up together and I know your relationship with him is special and something I may never understand, but…”

  Shontay started crying right there in front of me. I’ve never seen her do that before. She was always the neck-snapping, show stopper portraying the ultimate diva attitude. Now, she sat here crying, forcing herself to talk through her tears. She continued, “I love him Tiffany and I know he loves me. I know he does. But every time we’re together, it’s always Tiffany this and Tiffany that. He spends more time with you than he does with me and he talks about you nonstop when we’re together.”

  I felt sorry for the girl. I really did. Reggie was on the verge of having another ruined relationship because of me. But at the same time, I couldn’t control Reggie. He was a grown man. What was I going to do? Tell him to stop talking about me. Honestly, I was flattered to hear that he spoke about me so frequently.

  So I asked her, “So what do you want me to do?”

  “First I want to know if there is something going on between y’all?”

  “No.”

  “So why is he always talking about you, like you’re his woman and not me? Did something happen when y’all spent that weekend at the beach?”

  She was starting to tick me off. “No, nothing happened. Look, what do you want Shontay?” I was ready to kick the girl out of my house.

  “I want my man back.”

  “Well that’s a discussion you need to have with your man.”

  “No, it’s a discussion I need to have with you. You’re the reason why he’s drifting away from me.”

  “And again, I ask, what do you want me to do? I can’t tell Reggie what to do. I can’t stop him from wanting to see me and spend time with me. That’s just the way it is.”

  “Yeah, but you can back away from him. If he won’t leave you alone then leave him alone. Let him be happy with me. Please. I’m not coming at you in a disrespectful manner about this but I’m talking to you woman-to-woman. I don’t know if you know how it feels to be in love but I am in love and I don’t want to lose him.”

  I didn’t like the way Shontay came over to my place suggesting what I should do to make her relationship work with Reggie but I understood her dilemma. At the same time, I didn’t want to let Reggie go so suddenly. I knew eventually I needed to pull away from him but I didn’t know I would be doing it per request of someone else. Besides, Reggie already told me he wasn’t in love with her. But who was I to stand in the way of their messed-up relationship?

  “Okay Shontay. I understand. I’ll do what I can, okay?”

  “Okay. Thank you.” She stood up and actually hugged me. “Please don’t tell Reggie about this,” she said before she walked out of the door.

  Jennifer was walking up to my door as Shontay was leaving.

  “Was that Shontay?” she asked me. She looked surprised.

  “Yeah. It was. I’ll tell you about it in the car.”

  ***

  Jennifer couldn’t believe it when I told her what Shontay wanted. But I wasn’t going to dwell on that and let it ruin my day. I was ready to shop.

  At the mall, we spent most of our time in Macy’s where I bought three tank tops, a two-piece leopard skin swimsuit and some jean capris. And I always made it a point to stop by Victoria’s Secret. In my opinion, every woman should.

  “Wow, this smells good,” I said, picking up a bottle of perfume on display. I sprayed a little on my wrist, then smelled it again against my skin, holding my wrist in front of Jennifer’s nose since she wanted to smell it too.

  “That does smell good,” she said.

  “I think I�
�m gonna get some,” I said, taking a bottle from the shelf. We browsed the store more, looking at an array of bras, panties and lingerie, and when we were done, I paid for my perfume and we bounced.

  “Wow,” I said walking next to Jennifer, “This is really nice. I need more girlfriends, you know. I’m always so wrapped up in Reggie’s drama, sometimes I don’t feel like I have a life of my own.”

  “Yeah, you gotta break away from that,” Jennifer said nudging me. “You can’t go to a salon to get your hair or nails done with a man.”

  “Reggie’s come with me to a salon before.”

  “He has not.”

  “Junior year of college…the first time I tried micro-braids…it took eight hours and Reggie sat there with me the whole time…even went and got some lunch for me.”

  “Well, you can’t chat it up about bras, PMS, tampons and birth control…stuff like that with a man.”

  “Yeah…he ain’t trying to hear none of that,” I said smiling. “I guess it never bothered me before, but being out with you today, I don’t feel so restricted. I feel like I’m free to be myself. When I’m with Reggie, I feel like I’m being who he wants me to be.”

  “That’s because you are, and you know what – now that I think about it, Shontay might be on to something. You’re the only woman I know with a guy for a best friend. When I first met y’all in college, I thought y’all were a couple.”

  “Yeah, so did everyone else,” I said. “Hey, let’s get our nails done. I haven’t done that in years.”

  “Okay, girl. I’m way overdue,” Jennifer said holding her hands out in front of her.

  After we left the nail salon, with professionally French-manicured nails, Jennifer drove me home.

  Reggie called me as soon as I walked through the door.

  “Hey Reg.”

  “Hey. What’s up?”

  “Nothing. I just got home. I went shopping with Jenna.”

  “You buy me something?”

  “Yeah, if you can fit in a two-piece bathing suit.”

  “The top part might fit, but you know I need a lot of room downstairs.”

  “Whatever silly,” I laughed at him.

  “I was calling to see if you wanted to come over tonight. I got some friends getting together to play cards.”

  “Ah…ah…” I stuttered. Flashbacks of Shontay sitting on my couch in tears urged me to say no. As much as I wanted to be with him, I resisted. “That’s ah’ight Reggie.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t feel up to it. I’ve been out all day and I just want to relax.”

  “Well I could cancel the whole thing and come over to chill with you.”

  As tempting as that sounded, I couldn’t let him come over, right after I told Shontay I would try to respect her wishes. And I really wanted to see Reggie. I loved the feeling of unwinding in his arms. I craved him. I’ve grown accustomed to having him around on a permanent basis like he was my man. I was used to his smell, his voice, his heartbeat, his comforting ways, similar to the feeling of having a glass of wine after a hard day while sitting relaxing in the bath. I could have had the worst day on the job and the only thing Reggie had to do was squeeze me in his arms and I felt like I could dissolve into him.

  “No Reg. Don’t do that.”

  “Oh. You don’t want me to come over? You must have a date or something.”

  “No. That’s on Monday, remember?”

  “Then come on thru, Tiff. You gon’ make me beg. Don’t make me beg, baby.”

  “Reggie, I can’t. I’m going to stay home but you have fun with your peeps. Bye Reg.”

  “Tiff, wait.”

  “Bye Reggie.”

  I went to bed early, exhausted from shopping. I got up in the middle of the night to find that Reggie had left me a voicemail asking if he could come over to spend the night with me. I’m glad I was sleep. Otherwise, I would’ve had to make up some reason why I didn’t want him to come over.

  On Sunday, he called a few times and left a couple of messages. He wanted to meet me at the beach first thing Sunday morning to watch the sunrise. When we were in college, one Sunday out of every month, we would get up at four in the morning to make it to the beach in time for the sunrise.

  He called again later that afternoon wanting to go and get something to eat. I didn’t return any of his calls. Shontay wanted me to back off and that’s what I intended on doing. And it wasn’t just for her. It was the right thing to do for all parties involved.

  All those thoughts were going through my mind as I laid in the bath tub, taking a hot bubble bath, not to mention I was shaken and nervous about my date with this guy my Mom set me up with. I had no idea what the guy looked like but I guessed I was soon going to find out.

  Chapter 6

  The next morning at work, all I could think about was this blind date. Should I call Mom and have her cancel it for me? Should I avoid the date? I was really getting cold feet. Mom called me mid-morning to make sure the date was still on. And all day, I felt sick to my stomach. I knew nothing about the dating game, especially since I’d only been focusing my attention on one man my entire life. Now I was forced to embark on new journeys and find out if this guy was all that like my Mom made him out to be.

  Reggie called me at work this morning, too. I was starting to miss him and it had only been a few days since we last spoke. Normally, we wouldn’t go a day without saying a word to each other. Sooner or later, he was going to let me have it for ignoring his calls but I had to do what I had to do. If removing myself from him was going to make him happy with Shontay, I was willing to do it.

  ***

  I rushed home right after work to get ready for my date. I put on a black, sleeveless, knee-length dress, paired with some black four-inch stilettos that made the outfit come together nicely. The bronze lipstick complimented my skin tone and just as I was putting the finishing touches on my foundation, my doorbell rang.

  “Here goes,” I said to myself while looking in the mirror for a final inspection. Then it was show time. I walked to the door and peered through the peephole so I could see the man I would be spending the evening with. I was pleasantly surprised. He was very handsome, light skinned with black curly hair. He had a strong resemblance to Rick Fox, just a tad bit lighter. I opened the door.

  “Hi,” I said, smiling way too much.

  “Hi. I’m Derrick,” he said, his voice deeper than I’d expected.

  “Hi there,” I told him, smiling more and feeling like a fool for not knowing what to do next. I didn’t think this date (or shall I say Derrick) would be so handsome, so gentleman-like. I thought I would go through the motions of this thing to appease my match-making Mother. I never expected to see a prince standing at my door, with flowers.

  “These are for you,” he said, handing me a dozen red roses. He was scoring mad points early on.

  “Thank you,” I said, my hands trembling as I reached for the flowers. “Let me put these in some water.” I was so nervous, so not used to this. I didn’t invite him in or anything. Instead, I left him standing there at the front door while I rushed to the kitchen to put the roses in some water.

  I returned to the living room to find my date had let himself in, standing in front of my couch. He was tall, about six-two, with an athletic build, black eyes and a bright white smile.

  “I’m so sorry. I meant to invite you in,” I told him.

  “That’s okay.”

  “Oh, and I’m Tiffany by the way, but I’m sure you know that already.”

  He smiled at me then said, “It’s nice to meet you, Tiffany.”

  He was so fine, wearing a black suit that enhanced the deepness of his eyes. I was somewhat thrilled that our outfits matched. We already complemented each other.

  “Nice to meet you as well.”

  “You look amazing, by the way. Very beautiful,” he said.

  “Thanks,” I said blushing with a smile wider than the Chesapeake Bay. “You don’t look too bad yo
urself,” I said, then realized how corny that sounded.

  Derrick only smiled again then said, “So, I thought maybe I’ll take you out to dinner so we can get to know each other. Sounds good?”

  “Ah…yeah,” I said with the normal first-date jitters – excessive smiling, interlocking fingers, feeling myself sweat more than normal. Then I said, “After you,” and watched him walk down the front steps to my place. I locked the door and met him at the car.

  I ain’t no gold digger (like Reggie’s girlfriend) but the first thing I notice about a man is his clothes. He has to wear nice clothes. That was one of the main things I liked about Reggie. He had style.

  So did Derrick.

  The sky blue shirt he had on went good with his suit and his black leather shoes were the perfect pair for his look tonight. And to top it all off, he drove a silver BMW 745. He certainly had class.

  We drove about fifteen minutes to a Lynnhaven Fish House, a seafood joint on Starfish Road (not particularly my style but you can’t complain when it’s free, right?). Derrick did all the first date stuff a woman expects a man to do – he opened the car door for me, the door to the restaurant entrance, he pulled out my chair and now we sat alone at a small, square table and my nerves were going wild.

  “So…” Derrick said as he sat directly across the table from me. He wanted to start a conversation because we were both equally quiet and staring at each other when the other wasn’t looking for the first few minutes after getting settled at our table.

  Then I spoke up. “Nice place,” I said looking around. “You been here before?”

  “Yeah. This is one of my favorite restaurants,” Derrick said making bold eye contact, trying to read me. “What about you? Any favorites?”