by Tina Martin
I followed Derrick into the kitchen. “I hope you’re hungry,” he said as he pulled out a barstool for me to sit down. “I made us steak burritos.”
“It smells good.” I watched Derrick take some sour cream out of the refrigerator.
After placing it on the bar, he went back to the stove to get the food. He brought over two big plates. Both were filled with rice and beans and the biggest burritos I’d ever seen. It looked like a dish you would expect to see at an upscale Mexican restaurant.
“You made this?” I asked Derrick as he sat down with me.
“Yep. Believe it or not, I actually wanted to be a chef before I went to college for business management and marketing. I had two years of culinary schooling.”
I bit into the burrito. The juicy steak made my mouth water, compliments of onions and Monterrey cheese.
“You like it?”
“Mmm…very good,” I mumbled with a mouthful.
“So you didn’t mention anything about the flowers.”
“Oh, I love the flowers. They are beautiful, Derrick. Thank you so much. They really made my day.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ve never seen lavender roses before.”
“Do you know what they mean?”
“No...”
“Lavender roses are a sign of enchantment and love at first sight.”
“Oh really? Then how come they made me cry?”
“What? They made you cry? Why?”
“I was just so happy and overwhelmed.” I rested my spoon on my plate. “And I was mad at myself for the way I treated you in the past, the way I walked out on you in the restaurant. I’m so sorry, Derrick. You didn’t deserve that. You deserve better than that.” I was beginning to get emotional again, though I did a good job of controlling my tears. “You deserve so much better than that.”
Derrick got up and walked over to me. “Hey, I didn’t send you those flowers to evoke any sadness. I want you to be happy. So how about we let the past be the past and start over from here. Okay?”
I sat still, trying not to cry. Derrick touched my face. “Okay?” he said a second time.
I looked at him and that’s when the tear fell. He wiped it away. “Tiffany, why are you crying, baby?”
“I feel so bad.”
“Don’t feel bad. I’m not angry at you. I just want to enjoy you and I can’t enjoy you by seeing tears on this beautiful face of yours.”
I dried my eyes and Derrick gave me a reassuring peck on the cheek before he returned to his seat.
***
After dinner, we sat in the living room enjoying music and light conversation. The lights were dimmed. The living room windows were opened. The sound of rain beating down on his deck was very tranquil. Even the fresh, rustic smell of it greeted us as we got reacquainted.
“You seem quiet since dinner. Is everything all right?” Derrick asked me.
“Yeah. I’m okay,” I said, when really I was feeling guilty for the way I treated Derrick. Yet, I could see him fighting for us, fighting for my love.
“Are you really okay, or are you just saying that?”
“I’ll be all right,” I said firmly.
“Okay. Just relax and cheer up a bit.”
I left him alone on the couch and walked over to the window to see the rain. Then I turned and faced Derrick. With the distance between us, I could say what was on my mind without him trying to downplay it.
I said, “When I broke up with you in the restaurant that night, you had asked me, since when does a black man get ridiculed for being successful in life. I want you to know that I wasn’t trying to belittle you. I mean, you’re right. Good black men are hard to come by and you are definitely a good black man.”
“Thank you,” he said, watching me. “C’mere.”
I walked back over to him, sat next to him on the couch.
“Do you have any sisters? Brothers?” he asked, changing the subject.
“No. It was just me and my Mom, and Reggie and his Mom.”
“Oh. So that’s why you and Reggie are so close.”
“Yep. It was only me and him. Reggie has helped me through a lot.”
“And you guys have never dated?”
“No and the crazy thing is, I’ve always loved him. At one point, I had it bad for him. I would think about him constantly and wish he would ask me out on a date or something. But Reggie wasn’t interested in me like that.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“What? Why you say that?”
“Because he couldn’t stand me. I was his worst enemy and that night at The Olive Garden—”
“Yeah, I know. Reggie has always been protective over me.”
“Has he always been in love with you?”
“What makes you think he’s in love with me?”
“I know he is. Why else would he be threatened by me, or has it been that way with every guy who has tried to holla at you?”
“Nah. Like I told you before, you are the first guy I ever dated.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I felt like I was so in love with Reggie that I couldn’t even see other men.”
“You still feel that way?”
“No. Not anymore.”
“But you still love him?”
“I will always love him. He’s embedded into my life and I’m gonna be honest with you. If he had loved me the same way I loved him, then we would be together right now. I’ve accepted the fact that it wasn’t meant to be and I’m okay with that.”
“Well, hopefully, I can bring some happiness into your life.”
“Trust me…you already have,” I told him.
I smiled while Derrick studied me for a reaction. Then he said, “You ready for dessert?”
“Dessert? I’m stuffed.”
“Oh come on. You got a little room for some apple pie and ice cream. I’ll be right back.”
Derrick went to the kitchen to grab dessert. Then he came back to the living room with a slice of pie surrounded by vanilla ice cream, all on one dinner plate. He set the plate on the floor next to the couch then he sat down and signaled for me to join him – on the floor.
“Okay so here’s the deal,” he said. “I’ll feed you and you feed me.” Derrick took some apple pie and ice cream into the spoon. “Ladies first.”
I opened my mouth to start off the seductive dessert feeding session. “Mmm, this is good. Don’t tell me you made this pie?”
“Nah…Food Lion bakery made this pie.” He giggled. “But I paid for it.”
I scooped up some ice cream and pie and Derrick opened his mouth. I studied his lips and his gorgeous face. He was truly handsome.
“I don’t think it has ever tasted so good,” he said. “You must have the magic touch.”
“I do. You didn’t know?”
Derrick smiled again. Then he said, “I want you to go away with me.”
“Go away with you where?”
“On my boat.”
“You have a boat?”
“Yeah, but I don’t take it out much.”
“I’ve never been on a boat. I’m not sure if I can handle it.”
“Trust me, you’ll have a good time. It’s an enclosed boat. It has a cabin, a kitchen and a nice view in the cockpit. There are couches and everything. I’m sure you would have fun with me. We could leave tomorrow morning and come back Sunday night. What do you say?”
I thought about it for a moment. Did I really want to go out into the open waters with Derrick? What if he tried to put the moves on me?
“Come on, sweetheart. We’ll have fun together.”
“All right. I’ll go.”
Derrick’s face glowed with satisfaction. “Good.”
“Well, I guess I gotta get home and pack then, huh?”
“Yeah. I’m going to be picking you up around five.”
“In the morning?”
“Yep.”
“Wow. No sleeping in for me…”
“You can sleep on the boat. There’s a bed.”
“Oh. Okay…guess I’ll sleep on the boat then.”
We finished the rest of the dessert and Derrick helped me up off of the floor before he took the empty plate back into the kitchen.
“Well, this was really nice. Thanks for cooking dinner and dessert.” I took my purse from the kitchen table.
“Wait a sec. I’ll walk you out.”
Derrick took me by the hand and walked with me out onto the deck and down the stairs to my car. The downpour of rain had stopped but a drizzle remained.
“I had a good time tonight,” he said, “And I can’t wait for tomorrow.”
I watched little beads of water sprinkle on his face and I smiled while he stared at me.
“Can I have a hug?” he asked me as I stood there quietly.
I leaned forward and teased him with a few simple wet pelts of starter kisses. He took it from there. He leaned his body against mine so that I was nestled between him and my car and kissed me like he was never going to see me again. The crazy thing was, I knew what Derrick’s kisses felt like. It’s not like this was the first time we’d kissed but this time was different. Derrick and I had made more strides towards getting to know each other on a personal level than when we dated before.
“Mmm,” he breathed. “I missed that.”
“Me too.”
“Tomorrow. Five o’clock sharp,” he said.
“I can’t wait,” I said as I bit my bottom lip.
“Me either.”
WHEN I GOT back to my place, it was close to eleven. Before going to bed, I packed my clothes. I would be too exhausted to do it in the morning. As I was about to lay down, Mom was calling my cell.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Tiffany.”
“Oh, hey Ma. What you doing up so late?”
“Me and Pat just left the movies. Went to see Seven Pounds.”
“How was it?”
“It was good. You and Reggie should go see it.”
“Uh huh.”
“So, I haven’t seen you for the past few days. You don’t love your Mama no mo.”
“Ma, you know I love you and I love you even more for introducing me to the man of my dreams.”
“Who? Derrick?”
“Yes! Ma, he is amazing.”
“Wait a minute – I thought you broke up with him.”
“I did.”
“So you guys are back together?”
“Not officially, but maybe soon. I think I’m falling in love with him.”
“And what about Reggie? I thought you were in love with him.”
“I thought so too, but now I realize how foolish I was to have loved him all these years and he never even wanted to be with me like that. Derrick loves me, Ma. I can feel it. We have something special. He just so…great.”
“I know that…I picked him out for you, remember?”
“Yes, Mother. You’re never gonna let me forget that, are you?”
“I shonuff ain’t.”
“Anyway, I’m going cruising with Derrick on his boat tomorrow.”
“Wow. He has a boat?”
“Yeah. I’m leaving tomorrow morning and we’re coming back Sunday night.”
“How nice. Y’all are gonna have a good time.”
“Ma, what do you think about Derrick? I mean, do you think he’s right for me?”
“I think he’s perfect for you. You already know that.”
“More perfect than Reggie?”
“Tiffany, don’t get caught up in a love triangle, okay. As a matter of fact, don’t even compare the two. One thing is for sure…you can’t date both of them. It’s either one or the other and if Derrick makes you happy then I’m happy and y’all better be careful out there in all that water.”
“Yes, Mother,” I said robotically.
“All right. I’m gonna go to bed, but call me if you need me…okay?”
“Okay, Ma.”
“Have a good night, okay?”
“You too, Ma. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I was so excited about my upcoming weekend with Derrick, I was too nervous to sleep. I just laid there until my thoughts turned into dreams.
Chapter 22
Derrick picked me up at five o’clock like he said he would. He threw my suitcase in the car and we drove to Rudee Inlet. As we walked on the dock, Derrick pointed to his boat. It was an enclosed boat, very opposite of what I had initially expected.
“This is nice,” I said as I climbed aboard. There were couches in the cockpit that made the area look like a living room. Derrick took me down to the lower level to show me the kitchen and just on the other side of the kitchen was the cabin where the bed was located. There was also another area that looked more like a living room, surrounded by the windows. The flat screen TV in the room caught my attention.
“You get comfortable,” Derrick said as I set my purse on the bed. “I’ma go and get ready to leave the dock.”
“Okay.”
I went to unpack my clothes and shoes. I took the towels I brought with me and put them in one of the cabinets near the bed. That’s when I felt the boat moving, the moment I realized I was about to be out in the water with Derrick. Alone.
After I got myself situated, I went to join him in the cockpit.
“You okay?” he asked me as he steered the boat, peeping up at me. “You look nervous.”
“I am nervous.”
“C’mere,” he said waving me over.
I walked closer to Derrick. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of faded jeans. He took me into his arms and told me, “I promise I will protect you with my life. I will not let anything happen to you.” He sealed his promise with an early morning kiss. Immediately, I felt relaxed. There was nothing for me to worry about, except being secluded on a boat with my incredibly attractive ex-boyfriend.
“I will serve you breakfast as soon as we get out of the inlet. It’ll be a few minutes. In the meantime, you can sit back and enjoy the view.”
I went downstairs and sat on the couch, staring out into the ocean. It was still dark out, but the sun was due to peep through any minute now. There was a light coating of fog hovering over the water. As soon as we made it out of the inlet, Derrick joined me.
“I made eggs, sausage, bacon, biscuits, and here’s some coffee.”
“You cooked all of this?”
“Yeah. I got up at three o’clock this morning to make this. I can’t have my lady hungry now can I?”
Derrick took two mugs from the cabinet. “You want some coffee?”
“No. I can’t have coffee. Doctor’s orders.”
“I have apple juice.”
“That’ll work.”
Derrick poured our drinks and I went back to enjoying the view. There were a lot of boats out today.
“This is relaxing, isn’t it?” Derrick asked me as he handed me a cup of juice.
“Yeah, it is. It’s very quiet. Are you sure we’re not going to be bored?”
“Oh, we’re definitely not going to be bored,” Derrick said as he sat so close to me, our legs touched. “You look tired.”
“I am,” I told him. “I’m not used to getting up this early on a Saturday.”
“You can take a nap if you want. I won’t hold it against you.”
“Nah. I didn’t come here to sleep. I came here to spend time with you.”
We finished up breakfast and I leaned against Derrick, resting on his shoulder while we quietly stared out into the water, enjoying the peace and quiet, the tranquility of it all. Just as the sun peeped over the horizon, I broke the silence.
“So when was the last time you came out here?”
“Earlier this year…with the family.”
“Oh…hey, speaking of family, are your parents still together?”
“Yeah,” Derrick answered me, then asked, “Why you say still?”
“Because a lot of people ar
e divorced nowadays.”
“Are your parents divorced?” he asked me.
“No. They were never married. Of course there was the promise of marriage but then when he found out my Mom was pregnant he ran.”
“Sorry to hear that,” Derrick said and I could feel him embrace me a little tighter. “I’m a firm believer that children should grow up with both parents.”
“Me too. I missed having a father. He wasn’t there to teach me any man stuff...you know what I mean?”
“Yeah. I know.”
“Reggie taught me how to fish and he helped me first learn to ride a bike.” Tiffany, what are you doing?, I chastised myself. I could not believe I mentioned Reggie’s name with my alone time with Derrick.
“So Reggie is very important to you, huh?”
“Yeah, he is.”
“So hypothetically speaking, let’s say me and you were to get married. What would happen to Reggie then?”
“He would still be my friend—”
Derrick interjected and said, “Because when I get married, I want years of love and happiness and that can include a whole lot of fighting and making up but no breaking up.”
I smiled. I loved a man who knew what he wanted in life. “Well, Reggie wouldn’t break us up and I would hope that you would want to at least try to get along with him.”
“I wanted to get along with him before but he wasn’t having it.”
“Yeah I know but it was only because he didn’t think you were right for me.” Okay, that slipped out before I knew what I was saying. I was on a roll, defending Reggie.
“I don’t care what he thinks,” Derrick snapped. “All I care about is what you think.”
“I think you’re wonderful, Derrick.”
“If I’m so wonderful then—”
He stopped mid-sentence but I knew what he wanted to say – If I’m so wonderful, then why did you break up with me – but he knew the answer to that. “Never mind,” he said now, releasing me from his grasp and all of a sudden, I felt uncomfortable. What had I done to him? Did I break his heart when I broke it off? Was he still upset over it?
“Ah…so, do you wanna play cards or something?” he asked, but I was too busy thinking that maybe Derrick did have some resentment towards me. And though I’d never seen him overly emotional, have an all-out bawl fest (actually, I never seen him cry) or nitpick over any issues we’d had in the past, there must have been some level of dormant emotions hidden beneath the surface of such a strong man. I mean, like women, men can only take so much too. And Derrick never confronted me about the night I broke it off with him.