by Emma Lea
I exhaled, letting out a breath that I felt like I had been holding on to for a month.
“So what are we going to do about it?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she whispered in response.
“Neither one of us want this,” I said, nuzzling her neck and breathing in the delicate scent of her perfume.
“No,” she agreed breathily.
“And yet we can’t seem to stay away from each other.”
“We could try,” she said.
I lifted my head to look at her but we both knew it would be a fruitless exercise. For better or worse we were drawn together. I knew it was bound to end badly, but with her in my arms, I didn’t particularly care.
“It needs to be a secret,” she said and I froze.
“What?”
I hated lying, more so now after being betrayed by Chase and Caroline.
“The queen can’t find out,” she said. “We would both lose our jobs.”
The truth didn’t make it hurt any less, but I knew she was right. I may be local royalty where I come from, but over here I was just the horse trainer and no one special. Savannah was the daughter of a viscount and even an impoverished viscount was worlds away from my life in Kentucky.
“And what exactly is it that we are keeping secret?” I asked before kissing her.
“This,” she whispered when I lifted my head. “The connection we have.”
“Meanwhile the queen will keep trying to set you up with every eligible Lord in the country.”
She bit her lip and shrugged. I pulled her lip from between her teeth with my thumb and soothed it.
“We both know this won’t last,” she said. “We don’t even like each other.”
She had me there. Despite this crazy, stupid attraction to one another, we had so little in common. Most of the time she was like an irritating thorn in my side and all we ever seemed to do was fight, except when we kissed. Except when she was in my arms.
“So, what’s the plan?” I asked.
“We just keep doing what we’re doing,” she said. “I’ll keep coming to riding lessons with Archer and we’ll see each other at the dinners and…” she shrugged. “We’ll see what happens.”
“Do I still get to kiss you?” I asked as I dipped my head and captured her lips in another searing kiss.
“Yes,” she replied breathlessly, her eyes closed.
I lowered my head and kissed her again, unprepared for the nudge in my back. Mistborn. He nudged me again and I lost my balance. Trying desperately to save both Savannah and I from falling in a tangled heap, I turned us so we landed in a pile of clean hay, Savannah on top of me. It didn’t even hurt, not really. It would hurt like nobody’s business tomorrow, but right in that moment I was feeling no pain, not with how Savannah felt against me. All her soft, lush curves pressed against mine had a way of making me forget everything else except how she felt.
She smiled and then laughed and my heart clenched at the sight and sound of her. I don’t think I had ever seen a genuine smile on her face or heard a genuine laugh from her mouth. It did something to me and I couldn’t help laughing in return. Then I pulled her down and kissed her because what else was I supposed to do when I had a beautiful woman laying with me in a haystack?
Mistborn nickered softly and I swear he was laughing at me, but I didn’t care. I had Savannah in my arms and I was kissing her. What more could a man want?
Chapter 11
Savannah
My cheeks hurt. From smiling. I was smiling and I couldn’t stop. It was stupid and foolish and I didn’t care. I felt good, better than I had in too long to remember. Jed shot me a look over the saddle of Archer’s horse as he helped him mount and I could see the same foolish happiness in his eyes.
With Archer settled in the saddle, Jed called to me.
“Your turn,” he said.
“What? No,” I said shaking my head. “I’m not riding—”
“Come on Maman,” Archer said, his eyes bright and a grin so wide on his face that it melted my heart.
Jed handed Penny’s reins to me and disappeared into the small, dilapidated stable near the clearing. In the interest of keeping my relationship to Archer a secret, we’d agreed to meet in a clearing in the woods. There was an old stable and riding ring that Jed had cleared so it would be safe for both horse and rider. As far as the rest of the stablehands knew, Archer belonged to one of the palace staff, but no one knew who.
Jed reappeared with Fantasia, my horse. It looked like I wasn’t going to get a choice about riding. I looked down at myself, thankful that I’d worn jeans. Probably the only pair of jeans in the whole palace and I hoped that Alyssa didn’t see me in them. Not that she would care that I was wearing them, just that she would want to know why she couldn’t have a pair too.
I looked back at Jed who had a twinkle in his eye and a crooked smile on his face.
“I thought we could take Archer out for a ride and have an early picnic dinner,” he said.
It was winter and snow covered the ground. The sky was clear, but night would come early and with it the temperature would drop even more. But still I found myself nodding. I wanted to spend the time with him. I wanted to be with him somewhere that didn’t feel like the eyes of the palace were on us.
I ran my hand along the buff-coloured coat of my horse, Fantasia. She wasn’t really my horse, but she was the horse I rode whenever it was required of me to go riding. Unlike the other ladies in waiting, I didn’t grow up with the money to have my own horse. I only managed to get riding lessons because my mother wanted to make sure I could hold my own among the other children of the peers.
Jed held Fantasia steady and I used the mounting block he’d brought with him. It took me a moment to find my balance once I was in the saddle and Fantasia waited patiently for me. She was a gentle horse and I’d never had a problem with her, but riding still took me out of my comfort zone. Horses had a mind of their own, even well-trained ones, and I liked to have complete control over my environment.
Jed checked the saddle girth and stirrup length, his hand lingering on my calf a little longer than he needed to. I didn’t mind. His touch made me forget that I was sitting on a horse fifty feet above the ground…okay, not fifty feet, but I wasn’t good with heights. I liked my feet firmly planted on the ground.
And then we were riding into the woods. Jed rode Mistborn with Archer on Penny close to his side. I followed on Fantasia, dreading my quick agreement to such a foolhardy excursion. The pace was slow and I tried to relax into the gentle rolling of Fantasia’s gait, but tension still gripped my shoulders as I followed Jed and Archer.
Jed said something to Archer and he laughed. The joyous sound rang out into the clear air and I couldn’t help but smile. Archer was a good kid. His life wasn’t ideal, being hidden away and his movements restricted, but he handled it with barely a cross word or tantrum. But I don’t think I had ever seen him so animated or…happy before. He obviously loved working with Jed and learning to ride and look after the horses. I had a pang of guilt at the way I kept him sheltered. I was doing the best I could the only way I knew how. The money I earned from working in the palace kept my small family afloat. I knew the living situation wasn’t ideal and I had no idea what I would do when it came time for Archer to go to school, which was only a few months away, but for now it was working.
I would have to make different arrangements soon, I’d promised Jed. The thought scared me. The last two years had allowed me to find my feet and I was finally getting a little nest egg saved up to act as some security for me. That was important. Growing up, I’d had no security, no safety net. Once mother left, Papa spiralled out of control and if it hadn’t been for the kindness of our neighbours then things could have been a lot worse off. I didn’t want that for Archer.
“Look at me maman!” Archer called over his shoulder.
My heart clenched at the way his face shone with excitement.
“You’re doing so good
mon chéri,” I called back to him.
Jed looked over his shoulder at me and smiled. My heart clenched for a different reason altogether and my blood heated. How could a man do that to me with just one look? Not any man, but this man? I couldn’t help but think about the way he’d made me feel the night before when he kissed me. I could still remember the feel of his arms around me and the way it felt to be pressed up against him. I resisted a shiver. Getting involved with Jed wasn’t smart. He knew too much about me and the situation I was in. He could expose me and ruin everything and yet I couldn’t help being attracted to him. I trusted him. It was the first time I’d trusted anyone in a very long time. He could destroy me and yet…I knew he wouldn’t. It was probably naïve of me, but I knew that he wouldn’t purposely hurt me. That scared me more than anything.
“Savannah? Are you listening to me?”
I turned to Margaret and smiled. She stood in the middle of the room surrounded by fabric samples, her hair a little wild and her expression frazzled.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
She huffed out a breath and held up two different fabrics. “Which one? I need to place the order today in order to have it here in time for the ball.”
I shot a quick look out the window, my eyes unerringly finding Jed as he worked with one of the horses and a long lunge rope. I had been staring out the window watching him, completely oblivious to everything else that was going on around me.
“Savannah!” Margaret said sharply, cutting through my day dream.
“Sorry, sorry,” I said, pushing myself up and turning my back on the window and the view that had enthralled me all morning.
I made my way carefully across the room, picking a path through the mess of discarded fabrics as I went. It really was a mess in here, and that said something coming from me. I had a high tolerance for mess and clutter, Margaret not so much. No wonder she was looking annoyed. It could also be that I had been ignoring her most of the morning.
I ran my fingers over the two fabric samples she held out to me. They were both white, but different coloured whites. One had a more blueish tinge, the other had a soft blush undertone.
“This one,” I said, holding up the cooler toned one. “I think it will suit Alyssa’s skin tone better than the other one.”
Margaret nodded and made a note on her iPad. She looked back at me and opened her mouth to speak when the door flew open and Jeanette and Priscilla stood in the doorway, panicked looks on their faces.
“What?” I asked, immediately thinking something had happened to Archer—not that they knew anything about Archer.
“Your father is here,” they said in unison.
“What?”
“Your father is having tea with the queen,” Priscilla said, her eyes wide.
Neither Priscilla nor Jeanette knew my father lived in a cabin in the woods with my son. They did, however, know that my father had a reputation for gambling and losing all his money—all our money. It had come out at one of our girls’ nights after a few too many drinks on my part. Each of us had been sharing the horror stories of our childhoods. I should have kept my mouth shut, but that night had bonded us like nothing else could.
“I’m coming,” I said, panicking myself now. I couldn’t imagine why my father would have come to the palace and I would kill him with my bare hands as soon as I cleaned up the mess he would undoubtedly make—if I still had a job when he was done.
I speed-walked through the palace, desperate to get to him before he could reveal our secret. Jeanette and Priscilla kept pace with me and even Margaret trotted along, not wanting to be left behind.
I burst into the parlour and stopped short. The queen sat with a cup poised to her lips, opposite her was the queen mother and beside her was my father.
Taking a deep breath, I curtsied.
“Lady Savannah,” Alyssa said, and I couldn’t read the inflection in her voice or the look in her eye. I was pretty sure the horror of seeing my father in her parlour was written all over my face. “You didn’t tell us your father was visiting.”
“I apologise,” I said, finding my voice and thankful that it didn’t betray my panic. “I had no idea he would be coming today.” I shot a speaking glance at my father but he just smiled in return and then slurped noisily from his teacup. “Come, Papa, you must be tired from your journey. Let me get you settled and you can freshen up.”
“Oh, no, I feel fine,” he said, grinning at me.
Panic gave way to anger. I didn’t know why he was here, sitting happy-as-you-please with the queen and her mother. I didn’t know what scheme or scam he was up to but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was up to something. I had to get him out of there. I couldn’t risk everything I had worked for over the last two years.
“Join us,” Alyssa said, and her tone brooked no argument.
I crossed the room and sat on the edge of the chair, ready to up and run.
“Tea?” Alyssa asked, and I shook my head.
“No, thank you, Your Grace,” I replied.
The others, who had followed me to the parlour, had stayed outside the room but I had no doubt they had their ears pressed to the door, eavesdropping. One careless word from my father and the whole house of cards that I had built would come tumbling down. I peered at the man in question, wondering if he was drunk. What other reason would he have for coming here like this?
“Your father was just telling us how proud he was of you,” Alyssa said.
I looked at her, a little stunned. “What?” I shook my head and cleared my throat. “Sorry, um, pardon?”
A smile twitched at the corner of Alyssa’s lips. “He was telling us how proud he is of you and what you are doing here in the palace.”
“Oh,” I said, still not really understanding.
“I didn’t know you worked for Madam de LeCœur in Paris,” the queen mother said.
“Oh, yes,” I said. “I apprenticed with her, well, what I mean is, I apprenticed in her fashion house.”
The queen mother nodded and I shot a look at Alyssa. I hadn’t seen the queen mother in what seemed like forever. The woman had holed up in the chalet after her husband died and she never went out in public anymore. The closer I looked at Alyssa, the more I noticed a strain around her mouth and the tell-tale signs that she hadn’t been sleeping well. I didn’t know what was going on, but I did know I needed to get myself and my father out of there. Alyssa had organised this afternoon tea to speak to her mother about something and my father had gate-crashed it.
My father replaced his tea cup and saucer on the small table at his elbow and I took my chance.
“If you would please excuse us,” I said, standing and pulling my father up by the elbow. “I really should get my father settled.”
Papa opened his mouth to speak and I shot him a quelling glare. His mouth shut with a snap and then he smiled and executed a perfect bow.
“Thank you for sharing your tea time with me,” he said. “It has been an honour.”
Before he could get another word out, I pulled him toward the door.
“Just what in the name of all that is holy do you think you were doing?” I yelled at Papa when we were safely behind closed doors.
“I was just—”
“You were just what? Trying to get us thrown out of here? You do realise that if the queen ever found out about you and Archer my job and my life here would be history?”
“Well, I don’t think—”
“Exactly! You don’t think! If you had stopped to think for even a minute you would have realised that you being here, in the palace, sipping god blessed TEA with the queen and the queen mother could only end badly!”
“Calm down—”
“Calm down? CALM DOWN! I will not calm down. You very nearly cost us everything by that stunt in there. What did you think you were going to achieve? What scam were you trying to run on them?”
“Now come on, mon cœur,” Papa said, his voice strained. “I was trying
to do something good for you. I was trying to get you a raise so you didn’t have to work so hard.”
I stared at my father, completely dumbstruck. I had no words. I had plenty of anger and unrealised adrenalin coursing through my veins, but no words for the monumentally stupid thing he had just tried to do.
I turned on my heel and strode to the door.
“Savannah, mon chéri, wait—”
I swung around to face him and held up my hand in the universally sign for stop.
“Don’t,” I said through gritted teeth. “Do not say another word. Stay here. Do not leave this room.”
“But—”
“I can’t…with you right now. I just can’t.” I forced the words out and then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me. My lady’s maids were standing by the door looking pale.
“Don’t let him out of that room,” I said.
“Yes, my lady,” the replied in unison, curtseying.
I strode down the corridor and out of the residential wing of the palace. People scurried out of my way when they saw me coming, nothing new. The staff knew to keep out of my way when I was in a mood or suffer the wrath of my words. No doubt the look on my face was enough to send even the most stalwart staff member scurrying.
I kept my gaze focused in front of me and my feet moving. I had no idea where I was going, just that I needed to get out. I needed to be far, far away from the man who I both loved and hated with equal intensity right about now. I knew that his explanation of wanting a raise for me had nothing to do with how hard I worked and everything to do with his pockets being empty. I thought he had his gambling under control. I thought that by bringing him here he wouldn’t have the opportunity to find a card game that would cost him more than the allowance I gave him. But him turning up at the palace and trying to ingratiate himself into the good graces of the queen could only mean one thing. He owed someone money. More money than I was giving him to look after Archer.
“Savannah?”
The rough, familiar voice stopped me in my tracks. I turned and buried my face into Jed’s shoulder and his arms came around me, holding me together as I fell apart.