by Emma Lea
Feeling more like myself, although still not like the man I’d been before I left Fairview, I dressed in clothes that were more fashionable than practical and scowled at the almost brand new boots before pulling them on my feet. I’d been wearing the same boots for two years and rotating a few pairs of well worn jeans and shirts. Now I had a walk-in closet full of clothes that had barely been worn and shoes that were worth almost twice as much as my entire Merveille wardrobe.
The clothes fit, physically, but they felt odd on my body. The tension in my shoulders returned and I rolled them again, telling myself that I had once loved this life and it just wasn’t possible for me to change this much in such a short amount of time.
I strode out the door and headed for the stables. I knew neither my mother nor my sister would be in the house. Mother would be at one of her many charities or lunching with the ladies and Tracey, my sister, would be at her job. A lawyer and a tough one at that. I was proud of her. My younger brother would no doubt be wherever my father was. Dan was my father’s shadow and had been since he was old enough to walk.
The stables were quiet and I took a minute to breathe in the familiar scents. It didn’t matter what side of the world I was on, this was always the same. Most of the stalls were empty, with the horses out in the paddocks or being exercised. It didn’t matter, the atmosphere calmed me all the same.
“Jed?”
I felt my face crack into a smile as I lifted my head to greet Manny. He’d been the head trainer here at Fairview Park since my grandfather’s time at the reins. He didn’t do much hands-on training these days, but his word was still law.
“Manny,” I replied, accepting the back-slapping hug from the man who had taught me everything I knew about horses.
“It’s good to see you boy,” he said, pulling back to look at me. “You look good. Different.”
I nodded. “It has been a while.”
“I hear good things about you.”
“You’ve spoken to Cliff.”
He nodded. “I needed to know that the man who was taking you on had some horse sense.”
I chuckled. I could imagine Manny and Cliff talking horses and training. They had a similar philosophy and the stables at the palace had a familiar rhythm that had helped me find my place.
“Surprised to see you back here.”
I huffed out a breath. “Yeah. I thought it was time to face the music.”
Manny nodded. “But you won’t be stayin’.”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“I can see it all over you. This isn’t your place anymore.”
“No,” I said, looking around the place I had grown up. “It’s not my place anymore.”
He clapped me on the back. “Don’t be a stranger.”
I watched him walk away, his gait slow and uneven. The years of horse riding hadn’t been kind to Manny, but I knew he wouldn’t have had it any other way.
A horse poked its head out over a stall nearby and I smiled again.
“Well, hello there,” I said to the unfamiliar face.
She was young and had sweet eyes. I offered her a treat that she took daintily and then scratched her behind the ears. She lapped up the attention, snickering softly. I couldn’t help but think of Savannah when I looked at the little filly, not that Savannah looked anything like this horse. But the colour of her mane, the golden blonde, and the fair coat that was so similar to Fantasia’s. I remembered the times we’d spent riding together with Archer and the way she looked at me before it all changed. I don’t even really know what went wrong but I was pretty sure I was to blame.
I leaned my forehead against the mare’s and took a deep breath. Finally, being this far away from her, I could admit that I missed her and that I wanted to get to know her better. All we’d seem to do was fight or kiss, but there was something there, something that told me there could be more if we could both just put our pride aside for a second. Not that it would do me much good, but didn’t they say that admitting you had a problem was the first step?
I dressed for dinner, as was expected. My suit and tie had been laid out for me when I returned to my room and I sighed as I looked down at it. There was no point arguing or dressing in something else just to make a point. But it did reinforce the fact that this was no longer where I belonged. Where that place was, I didn’t yet know, I just knew it wasn’t here. Now I just needed to tell my father.
I made my way to the parlour where I knew pre-dinner drinks would be served. I also knew, without being told, that the entire family would be there for dinner. So maybe it would be the fatted calf for me after all.
I stepped into the room and all conversation stopped. My sister squealed a moment before I was swamped in a tight hug from her followed by a similarly tight hug from my mother, but without the squeal.
“Jed, this is Marcus,” Tracey said, leading a good looking man forward. Tracey was the only one in my family I’d had contact with since I left. I knew she was head over heels about Marcus, her emails had gushed with her thoughts about him. I was glad to finally have the opportunity to size him up for myself.
I shook Marcus’ hand. “Good to finally meet you,” I said. “Tracey has told me a lot about you.”
“And you,” Marcus replied.
“Jed,” Dan said, scowling as he offered his hand. We weren’t exactly the best of friends, not since Dan worked out that father wanted the farm to pass to me and not him. He’d been trying to prove himself ever since. At the time, I had been only too willing to take on Fairview Park, now I would happily pass it on to my brother. I didn’t want it and that was becoming more and more clear with every minute I was home.
“Jed, darling.”
I froze and clenched my fists as I ground my back teeth together. I turned slowly to face the woman who had been the centre of my universe for so long. “Caroline,” I said. “I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Why wouldn’t she be here,” my father said, finally stepping forward. “She’s your fiancée.”
Caroline smiled smugly and I breathed through the anger.
So many retorts flipped through my head but I kept my mouth shut. My father might not be ready to abandon his investment, but I was damned sure not going to be part of it. The only thing that kept me from turning tail and walking out of the room was good manners and the worried look in my mother’s eye. I stayed for her and for my sister. The others I would deal with after dinner. It would be such a shame to ruin the setup my father had planned so meticulously. Unfortunately for him, I wasn’t the same man and I would no longer cower to his dominance. If he wanted Caroline as part of the family, then she would have to marry Dan.
“Dinner is served,” a maid, unfamiliar to me, informed us.
I barely tasted the food and only listened with half an ear to the conversation. I told them about my time away and working at the palace. My father sneered at my fall from grace to stable boy, but I didn’t really care. His opinion meant less than nothing to me and the fact was, Cliff had taught me so much and I was proud of the work I’d done.
When dinner was finally over, I followed my father into his office, as was his request. I poured myself a drink and sat, waiting for the fireworks to begin.
“The wedding will be in the spring,” he said as he lit a cigar and made himself comfortable in the big leather chair that he treated as a throne.
“Tracey and Marcus?” I asked.
“Tracey won’t be marrying Marcus. He’s not Fairchild material. No, I’m talking about you and Caroline.”
I sipped slowly from my glass and looked at my father over the rim.
“I thought I made myself clear on that issue,” I said calmly. “I will not be marrying Caroline and I don’t care how much you paid her.”
“I thought the reason you came back was because you’d finally come to your senses, but I can see that you’re still the immature boy who left here in a snit.”
I sat my glass on the side table at my elbow and folded my hands in fro
nt of me, resting my chin on them. I felt calm, calmer than I ever expected to feel.
“I came back because I thought it was time to clear the air. I have no intention of moving back to Fairview or being part of the company. If you want your son at the helm then Dan is your man. I refuse to marry a woman I don’t love and who doesn’t love me—”
“You thought you were in love with her—”
“Yes, I did, until I found out how the two of you had manipulated the situation so that I had no choice but to fall in love with her. Except it wasn’t really her I was in love with, but the idea of her. Nothing between us was real and I’m only glad I found out before it was too late.”
“You’re living in a fairy tale,” Harry Fairchild said with a wave of his hand. “Love is for children and books. Caroline is perfect for you and perfect for the next mistress of Fairview Park. I hand picked her for the job and despite the one little indiscretion, I can’t see why the two of you wouldn’t make a perfectly fine union. Your children would be thoroughbreds.”
I stood slowly to my feet and smoothed my suit coat. “Thank you for the generous offer,” I said, “but I respectfully decline. I will be leaving Fairview within the week and I will tender my resignation to the board.”
“No,” Harry said. “I won’t let you.”
I smiled. “You don’t get a choice. I’m now old enough to make these decisions independent of you and there is nothing you can do about it. The trust fund from grandfather came into my name last year and I haven’t touched a cent of it, but now I intend to. I have plans.”
“You going to try and compete with me and Fairview?” Harry asked, a smug smile on his face. “You don’t stand a chance.”
I smiled right back at him. “I have grander plans than trying to compete with you, father. I’ll be gone by the end of the week.”
Chapter 20
Savannah
“Are they still out there?”
“They are,” Margaret replied with a sigh, “but less than there were and no one has managed to get past the front gate.”
I growled and tipped my head back to the ceiling. I knew this would happen and I warned Alyssa about it. I was a disgrace in the papers. One headline even proclaimed loudly that I was a royal embarrassment just as I had predicted.
“I should just resign,” I said, dropping me head and leaning my forehead on the desk in front of me. “It would just be easier for everybody.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Margaret snapped.
I raised my head to look at her. She stood with her arms crossed and her eyes sparked with indignation. Not-so-shy Margaret was getting bolder, even if it was only behind closed doors. I’d yet to see this side of her when we were around the others.
“Then don’t you think I should at least make a statement?’
“And say what? Are you going to out David?”
“Well, no—”
“Exactly. Saying something would only add fuel to the fire and why should you have to justify yourself? The world is full of single mothers. The press should be extolling your accomplishments instead of trying to use it against Alyssa.”
I exhaled and dropped my head back to the desk. Since when had Margaret and I changed places? She was the fiery one these days. Me? It just all seemed too hard and I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. I hadn’t felt this way since David abandoned me but I refused to acknowledge it had anything to do with Jed leaving. I would not let him have that much influence over me.
The truth was, I was tired. I was tired of fighting. It seemed that the last few years of my life I had to fight and scratch and claw my way. Nothing was just handed to me, I earned what I had with blood, sweat and tears and I was tired. Just once I wanted things to go my way.
The door opened and Archer came skipping in. I smiled. Seeing him here, in the place I spent so much time in, did something to me. It made things better somehow…worth the fight. I would probably get sick of it eventually. I would probably even complain about the constant interruptions in the not-so-distant future, but for now, I relished it.
“Maman! Can we go and see Penny yet?”
“I’m sorry, my lady,” Prissy said, following Archer into the room. Prissy was the au pair Alyssa had hired to look after Archer. I liked her, and so did Archer, but she was young and he was canny. More often than not he managed to talk her into doing something that, while not strictly forbidden, walked the narrow line.
“Archer, mon cœur, what is the time?” I pointed to the big clock on the wall.
“The big hand is on the two,” he said, “and the little hand is on the three.”
“Right, so that means it’s ten past three and what time did I tell you that we could go and see Penny?”
His little body deflated with a sigh. “When the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the four.”
“Right,” I said, pulling him into a hug.
“I miss her,” he mumbled into my shoulder.
“I know, baby. I bet she misses you too.”
“I miss Jed. Do you think he misses me?”
My throat tightened at the mention of his name. I missed Jed too, more than I was willing to admit. “I’m sure he does,” I replied, my voice sounding strange. I cleared my throat. “Have you been to see pépé today?”
“No, not today,” Archer replied, pulling away from me. “He said he’s working.”
Alyssa had given my father some work. I didn’t exactly know what he was doing but it kept him occupied and gave him some money of his own. It also kept him out of trouble, although I wasn’t convinced it would last. It was a terrible thing to think about my own father but I had been let down too many times to get my hopes up.
“Come on Archer,” Prissy said, holding her hand out to him. “Let’s see if Cook has some afternoon tea for us. By the time we finish that, it will be time to go and see Penny.”
“Okay,” Archer replied with a big grin. The boy was always hungry.
I kissed his cheek and watched him walk out with his hand in Prissy’s. I liked that he had access to me, even if it interrupted me. So many years of keeping him a secret made me want to indulge him a little. He had settled into the palace well and had all of the ladies in waiting wrapped around his finger, like I knew he would. How could anyone think he was less than because he was born out of wedlock and raised by a single mother ? He was a brilliant little boy and I knew he had a big future in front of him. I had been so worried about myself that I hadn’t stopped to think how my actions affected him. I thought I was doing it for him, keeping him hidden, but I was wrong. I shouldn’t be ashamed of him or embarrassed that I fell for a silver-tongued snake in the grass. If anyone should be embarrassed it should be David for the way he abandoned us.
I sat up and straightened my shoulders. The press could say what they wanted, I no longer cared. If Alyssa had no issue with me and the work I did, then none of the rest of it mattered. They could say what they liked, it would all blow over when some other scandal came along. Besides, I wasn’t embarrassed to be Archer’s mother. I was proud of him and I refused to let anyone ruin that.
“Come on Margaret, let’s get back to work.”
“Why aren’t you ready?”
I looked up from the book I was reading as the queen strode, unannounced, into the room.
“I asked Jeanette to tell you I wasn’t feeling well.”
“You look perfectly fine to me,” she replied, sitting daintily on the couch beside me.
“I’m tired and there is so much gossip about me already, I figured I’d take a break from it.”
“Nonsense. You need to go. You need to be seen, not cowering here in your room.”
“I’m not cowering and I resent the implication that I am.”
Alyssa smiled. “There it is,” she said. “I thought we’d lost you there for a moment.”
I scowled at her and closed my book. “I’ve been laying low. I thought it was the best way to handle it.”
; “Rubbish. You and I both know that ‘laying low’ just gives them more to gossip about. You need to be seen and not just be seen, but be seen being fabulous.”
I sighed and tipped my head back. “I just don’t feel like it tonight.”
I could feel her eyes on me and I resisted the urge to fidget.
“There’s more to this than your new status as the scandalous Lady Savannah, isn’t there?”
I shook my head, but I couldn’t look at her.
“I don’t believe you and I will get it out of you eventually. Right now, you need to get up and get dressed and that’s an order.”
I growled. “Do I have to?” I pretended to cough. “I really don’t feel well.”
“If you are not ready and waiting in the anteroom by the time I get there, I will make you sit with Great Aunt Edna at the Winter Ball next week.”
I grimaced. “Fine. I will be there. But don’t expect me to smile.”
Alyssa grinned. “Nobody ever expects you to smile Lady Savannah. It wouldn’t be a party without you scowling at someone.”
She stood and left the room and I sighed. I didn’t want to go. I really, really didn’t want to go but there was no way I could tell Alyssa why. I couldn’t tell her about Jed or how I felt about him or how much I missed him. Going to the dinner party would only reinforce the fact that he was gone and not coming back.
I pushed myself to my feet. There was no getting out of it, though. Not now. Alyssa hadn’t made an idle threat. She would force me to sit next to Great Aunt Edna and I would be berated all night long for my poor standing, and it would have nothing to do with Archer or my unwed status. No, according to Great Aunt Edna, none of the ladies in waiting were suitable for Alyssa and each of us fell distressingly short of what was expected of a young lady of the court. The fact that the last time Great Aunt Edna was in court was when King Edward I—not Alyssa’s father who was Edward III, but the original Edward—was the reigning monarch didn’t mean anything to her.
Fine. I would go, but I wouldn’t be happy about it.