by Emma Lea
He chuckled and spun me around in a complicated move that had me clutching at his lapels as he pulled me closer.
“Nice try,” he whispered in my ear. “But I know mad when I see it.”
“So what?” I asked. “So what if I am mad? It doesn’t change anything. I have a right to be mad about the way you left.”
He sighed and I could see the remorse on his face even as I steeled my heart against it. He shouldn’t show remorse or try to apologise. I didn’t want him to do that. I didn’t want him to worm his way back into my heart.
“I’m sorry about the way I left. There’s so much I need to tell you, so much I need to explain. I know I hurt you and I can’t tell you just how sorry I am.”
“Apologies don’t mean anything without action,” I said. “You pulled away from me, Jed, and not just me but Archer too, without explanation. Without so much as a by your leave. How can I know you won’t do that again?”
“I’m hoping that after you give me time to explain, maybe you might understand why I did it. I’m not making excuses. I know I did the wrong thing by running away without talking to you and I hope to make that up to you now.”
I saw the sincerity in his eyes and my heart yearned for him and yet I couldn’t let myself forgive him that easily. How many times had my father promised to change? How many times had he let me down? I had Archer to think about now and his heart had already been broken once by Jed. I couldn’t risk this man hurting my son again by his thoughtless actions.
“I’m sorry,” I said, pulling away, “but I can’t.”
I ran from the room, dragging in a lungful of frigid air as I stepped out of the suddenly stifling room and into the cold winter night.
Jed
I stood like an idiot and watched her run from me. It was what I deserved and yet it still hurt. Someone bumped into me and I apologised as I moved to the edge of the dance floor, my eyes still on the door where Savannah had escaped.
“Why are you still standing here?” Chase asked. “Go after her.”
“She doesn’t want me to,” I said. “She doesn’t want me.”
“I don’t believe that,” Chase said. “She’s scared. Men have not had the greatest track record when it comes to treating her right. But you need her to know you’re all in. There may have been a little bump in the road but now you know what you want and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to get it. She needs to know you will fight for her, for what you have.”
I looked at Chase and even though Savannah’s rejection still rubbed against my skin, I knew he was right. I needed to fight for the future we could have.
“You’re right,” I said.
I strode toward the door, determination strengthening my resolve. I walked out onto the balcony, but she was already gone. I knew where she would go and my feet took me in that direction without conscious thought. I didn’t even feel the bite of the cold, my only thought was of getting to her and trying to make her understand just how special she was to me.
I saw the pale blue of her dress as she ducked into the little alcove that I had begun to think of as ours. When she walked into the room tonight, I was struck dumb by her beauty. There was something about her that reached deep inside me and grabbed hold. Even if I lived to be a hundred and two I didn’t think I would ever be free of the hold she had on me.
I stepped into the alcove and I saw her shoulders stiffen. Her back was to me and the vibe coming off her was chillier than the sub-zero air. I slipped off my coat and slid it over her shoulders. She turned, already reaching to pull it off and fling it back in my face, but I took her hands in mine to stop her.
“If you do nothing else, please keep the jacket on,” I said. “It’s freezing out here and you’re already shivering.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said, her accent thick with emotion.
“That’s fine,” I said. “You don’t have to talk, just listen.”
She crossed her arms over her chest but I noticed with satisfaction that she pulled my coat tighter around herself. That was something at least and another point in my favor was that she wasn’t running away from me.
“Caroline was my fiancée,” I said. I knew the name wouldn’t be a surprise for her. “I was infatuated with her. I thought I loved her, but it was all a lie.”
She didn’t speak but she watched me and I knew she was listening.
“My father paid her.” I stopped and shook my head. I didn’t think I would ever get over the fact that my father had pimped me out like one of his stallions. “He wanted her to be part of our family. He’d done his research on her and on her family and believed he’d found the perfect match for me. I knew nothing of it. When we met at a party hosted by my parents, I was dazzled by her. She, of course, had inside information about me. She pretended to be the perfect woman for me and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.”
“What happened?” she asked, her voice small and quiet.
“The night of our engagement party, I walked in on her trying to seduce Chase.”
Savannah gasped, her eyes going wide.
“I thought the worst and blamed Chase. I stormed out of the room and went to my father, telling him the whole thing was off which was when he informed me it was a done deal and I would marry her despite her little indiscretions.”
“No,” she breathed.
I nodded. “I left the next day and came here. I never intended to go back.”
“And then Chase came here.”
“Chase came here and I was so angry at him. I blamed him for everything and never stopped to find out his side of the story.”
“But you know it now.”
“I do. Caroline was the one to tell me what really happened.”
“You saw her when you went back.” There was a brittle edge to her voice which I ignored.
“No, she came to see me. Ambushed me, really. My father’s doing of course. He assumed that when I went home everything would just go back to the way it was.”
“So what really happened?”
“Chase found out about the deal Caroline had with my father and was going to tell me. She thought if she seduced him, she would buy his silence. But it didn’t work, wouldn’t have worked even if I hadn’t caught her in the act. I should have trusted Chase but my father had filled my head with all sorts of lies that it was easier to blame my friend than believe that my father was the real betrayer.”
“What has that got to do with me?” she asked.
“I realised when I realised I was falling in love with you that what I felt for Caroline was a poor imitation.”
“So why did you push me away?”
I huffed out a breath. “Pride. Hurt. Stupidity.”
She quirked an eyebrow at me.
“I saw you and Chase down by the pier one afternoon. You looked cosy together, talking, heads bowed. He made you laugh when all I could ever seem to do was make you yell at me. I thought it was happening all over again. I thought Chase was trying to steal you away from me.”
“I’m not some object that someone can steal,” Savannah said, her voice hard.
“I know. As I said, stupidity and pride.”
“So you pushed me away instead of talking to me.”
“I have no excuse for that except to say that I had fallen so hard for you that I couldn’t deal with the pain of rejection again.”
“And what happens the next time some guy speaks to me? Are you going to run away again and desert me and Archer without a word? Can you see why I have a hard time believing that you’re done running?”
I dropped my head and took a breath. I knew this was going to be hard, but if I wanted her in my life—Savannah and Archer both—then I needed to prove myself to her.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me right now,” I said, stepping closer to her and resting my hands on her shoulders. “I’m just asking for a second chance. We can take things slow. I know I have to prove myself to you, won’t you let me try?”
“Okay,” she said.
I dipped my head and brushed my lips across her softly, marvelling at this amazing woman who had come into my life and showed me how to live again.
Chapter 23
Savannah
A few months later…
Fantasia came to a halt and I looked out over the rolling green fields and lines of white wooden fences that designated the paddocks. Mistborn shifted beside me and I looked over at Jed, his eyes catching mine and a smile tilting his lips.
“When can we eat?” Archer asked from his place on Penny, who stood patiently beside Mistborn. The two horses were friends after a fashion, although it was a strange pairing. It wasn’t a love match; if anything, Penny seemed like a surrogate mother for Mistborn and it was interesting watching the two horses together.
“I’m a bit peckish myself,” Jed said, swinging down from the horse.
We let the horses graze nearby as we set up the picnic. The place where we sat overlooked the property that Jed and Chase had bought, and we could see a couple of their horses in the paddocks below.
Winter had come and gone and now spring was well and truly making her presence known. The sky was clear and the sun was warm. It was the perfect day for a picnic and I couldn’t have asked for better company.
I sat on the rug and Jed leaned down to brush his lips across mine.
“Ugh,” Archer moaned. “Not again.”
I smiled and kissed Jed lightly before shooting a look at my boy. He had grown so much over the last few months and it wouldn’t be long before he started school.
“Don’t you like kissing?” I asked.
Archer rolled his eyes. “It’s just that you do it so much.”
Jed chuckled. “That’s what people do when they’re in love,” he said.
“It’s so gross,” Archer complained. “I hope I never fall in love.”
“You’ll change your tune soon enough,” Jed said, plopping down beside me on the rug. “Wait until you find a girl as pretty as your mother and then we’ll talk.”
“Whatever,” he said. “Can we eat now?”
“Sure,” I said, opening the packages of food.
Jed had been patient with me. He had courted me and earned my trust. I knew that in return, I had earned his too. It hadn’t been without its challenges but somehow, we made it work. The rough patches had only made the smooth moments that much sweeter.
“Are you worried about tonight?” he asked.
“A little,” I replied, my eyes going to Archer.
Jed pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’ll be right there beside you,” he whispered.
“I know.” I laid my head against his shoulder and breathed in the familiar scent of him.
Tonight was yet another formal occasion at the palace. But unlike the others, this one would be the first time I would come face to face with David since I told him I was pregnant. I didn’t even know if he would recognise me. There were rumours that he was engaged and while I didn’t want to disrupt his life, I felt it only right that I offer him the chance to meet Archer. It wouldn’t be a complete shock to him. I had sent him a birth notice after Archer was born but he had never responded. I figured I could give him one more chance to meet his son and maybe build a relationship with Archer, but I wouldn’t force him. I didn’t want anything from him, I didn’t need anything from him, but I owed it to Archer to open the doors.
“How’s Titania?” asked.
“Don’t you mean, how’s Chase?” Jed replied with a grin.
Titania was in foal and although it was early days yet, Chase was already behaving like an overprotective father.
“I’ve never seen him this dedicated,” Jed said. “He’s up before dawn and checks on her through the night. I hope he’s not going to be like this with every mare.”
“It’s his first,” I said, settling back against Jed as we watched Archer run through the grass with his kite. “He’s bound to be nervous.”
I could get used to this. It was comfortable and easy and felt so normal and natural that I had to keep reminding myself that it was really happening. It was hard to believe that only a few short months ago I never thought I would ever have this. I never expected to get my happily ever after and yet, here I was, spending a lazy Sunday afternoon with the man I loved.
“I love you,” I said.
Jed kissed my shoulder and then my cheek. “I love you too.”
Jed
I waited in the anteroom with the other partners. I wasn’t nervous, but my gut fizzed with excitement.
“You okay there?” Drew asked, slapping me on the shoulder and looking into my eyes. “You look a little peaked.”
I sucked in a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
In the months of wooing Savannah, I had come to join the circle of friends who stood with me now. The significant others of the queen and her ladies in waiting. Freddie spent a bit of time with Chase and me at the farm and was keenly waiting for a suitable match for one of his mares. I’d had lessons with Dom on court etiquette and a crash course on the history and politics of my adopted country. Drew had helped out with setting up the financial aspects of the farm and recommended an accountant for Chase and I to use since neither one of us were all that enamoured with sitting behind a desk and counting beans. I’d even spent some time with the prince. He was interested in our breeding program and both Chase and I had eagerly talked with him about his own breeding experience. His dairy cows were as famous as his cheese and he’d given us some great advice. Both he and the queen had a vested interest in our farm doing well. They were doing what they could to attract industry to Merveille to bolster her economy, and having a horse farm that bred champions was something they definitely supported.
I hadn’t told anyone what I was going to do tonight, but I was sure it was written all over my face. First we had to get through the dinner and then the dancing and then I could take Savannah out to our little alcove and ask her to be my wife. She was going to say yes. Surely. I hadn’t read the whole thing wrong again, had I?
The nervous energy fled when Savannah walked into the room. The world around me faded away and took with it any doubts that started to plague me. When she looked at me, I knew we were meant to be together and the ring in my pocket no longer felt like it was burning a hole through the fabric.
She crossed the room and I brushed a chaste kiss on the corner of her lips. I could feel her nerves and knew that until she came face to face with David, she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else. We had talked about the possibility of David wanting custody, although I doubted he would want it. The queen assured Savannah that if it came down to it she would step in to do whatever she could. I didn’t think it would be necessary. If David did come to his senses and want to be part of Archer’s life, then that would be good and I know Savannah would support it. If he didn’t, then I would do everything in my power to make sure Archer never felt the loss. I wasn’t his biological father but he felt like a son to me and I would do anything and everything to protect him.
“Are you ready?” I asked.
She took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m ready.”
I pulled her into my arms and held her tight for a moment before tucking her hand in my elbow and leading her out with the rest of the entourage. We took our place in the receiving line. I wasn’t titled, so I stood a little behind Savannah with Drew and Dom, but still close enough that she could feel my presence.
I knew what he looked like. I admit to having googled him. With the advantage of my height, I saw him before Savannah and had a moment to take his measure. He reminded me of the men I used to socialise with back home. Smooth, charming and completely shallow. His eyes swept over Savannah and I felt her stiffen. He gave her an appreciative glance, but there was no acknowledgement of recognition. Not even when th
ey were introduced.
Savannah let out a long breath as he moved on and I reached out to clasp her hand quickly. He might not have recognised her now, but he would tomorrow when he had a sit-down with the queen. Savannah felt it only right to give him one more chance to connect with his son and if he turned it down, then that would be it until—if—Archer ever decided he wanted to connect with the man.
When the last of guests cleared the receiving line, the ring once again began to warm my pocket. We had some time before dinner started and I didn’t think I could last through the next few hours. When the line was dismissed, I took her hand and tugged her in the opposite direction of the dining room.
“What are you doing?” she asked as I led her out of the palace, down the stairs and into the garden.
I kept walking until we reached the alcove and then I pulled her close and kissed her.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” I said.
“I think you’re pretty amazing too,” she said. She looked around. “But what are we doing out here?”
I dropped down on one knee and held out the ring to her. “I was going to do this later,” I said as she covered her mouth with her hands. “But I just couldn’t wait another moment. I love you Savannah. I think I have loved you since the moment I opened my eyes and saw an angel leaning over me. I thought I’d died that day and woken up in heaven. It may have taken me a while to get myself together, but I know now that I don’t want to go on another moment without you in my life. Will you spend the rest of your life with me?”
“Jed, I—”
“Before you answer,” I said, “I want you to know that I have Archer’s blessing.”
“You asked Archer if you could marry me?”
“I wanted him to know that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I also wanted him to know that I love him too and that I want the three of us to be a family.”