by Maggie Walsh
No one said a word or made a move as Fane tried to pull himself together enough to continue. He swallowed down the rock in his throat as a fresh wave of tears burned his eyes, and continued, “I lost myself in the moment, in the rhythm. I got to the point I didn't even see him, I just kept going on the adrenaline, the power the whip was giving me. Then I heard a sound that haunts me every day. The sound of his cry is something I can’t even describe, but it brought me out of my power haze and I stopped. I stood there panting heavily, sweat raining down my body, with the whip still in my hand and my eyes wide and wild. And that’s when I saw what I had done to him. From the backs of his calves, up his ass and back to his shoulders and arms, I had flayed skin. He was a bloody mess that resembled chopped meat more than a living, breathing person with a heart and a life. I dropped to my knees and wept. I still was only thinking of myself in that moment and what I had done. A normal person would have run to that poor man and helped him, but no, not me, I just curled in on myself and lost it.
“I don't even know how long it was, but suddenly arms wrapped around me and lifted me from the floor. When I looked up I met Uncle’s worried face and knew I wasn’t worthy of his concern for me. I immediately looked to where I had left that man hanging and he was gone. I fought against your father's hold and tore through that room to find the delta. I had to find him. I had to make sure he was okay. I damn near broke the walls down, but Uncle subdued me and knocked me out.”
Everyone sat silently as what Fane had just confessed rolled over them. As much as he didn't want to go on, and feared what Ridge would do or say once he told them the rest, Fane knew he had to confess all his sins. It was too late to go back now. He cleared his throat and wiped the tears from his face and said, “Uncle told me that he had found us and he and his betas had helped the man, but now it was time for him to deal with me. We sat and had a very long talk. You know how Uncle was, he always gave you a chance to explain yourself without interruption. He sat there and listened to everything I had to say and once I was done he told me how disappointed he was in me. Yes, he could tell that I was affected by what had happened, and he could even see that I was sorry for what I had done, but while I was confessing everything to him, I talked about how it would affect me and my life. What my dads would say, what I was going to do so no one would learn of what I had done. He said that I was still being selfish even after what I had done, and he was right. I knew it then. I could see he was right and I admitted it. Together, we decided I needed to be punished, and not in the way my fathers always did, but a real punishment. Uncle told me what he thought had to be done and I agreed with him. So, he brought me to his private dungeon where his betas were waiting. They stripped me and tied me to the cross, then they each took turns paddling me until I was hurting everywhere. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire and I just wanted to scream. Then, they whipped me.”
“Fuck,” Ridge hissed.
Fane looked at him and saw the horror in Ridge’s eyes. He didn't want his cousin to think any less of his father by his story, but it was time he confessed to Ridge. Even if he wasn’t here to beg for sanctuary, it was time his cousin knew the truth.
“Each of the betas had a turn, but neither did much damage. Finally, Uncle sent them from the room and he took the whip and lashed me once across the back. It was hard enough to break flesh and had me screaming and fighting against the restraints so hard my wrists and ankles began to bleed. Uncle released me, then helped me to the bed and gently washed my back, but the pain of being touched in that moment was like my body was on fire. As Uncle cleaned me, then tended to my wounds with some ointment, he talked to me. He forced me to think about what that delta had gone through. He told me to think about what I had just been put through and to compare it to what I did to the delta. There was no comparison, because what I had done to that man was a thousand times worse than what I had gone through. I had finally seen what Uncle had been trying to teach me all along, and the shame that filled me was a million times deeper than what I had felt when Uncle found me curled up in that dungeon.
“I lay in that bed for two days until I was healed enough to leave. When everyone was sleeping, I snuck into my room, got dressed, grabbed all the money I had and the credit card my dads had given me, then took off. I couldn’t look Uncle in the eye again. I couldn’t look at any of you again. I was too ashamed and too lost.”
“What did you do then? Where did you go?” Caleb asked.
Fane turned his gaze to Caleb, and was surprised to not see any judgement in his eyes, only compassion.
“I was able to get to a small fishing town not far from here. I stayed with them for a few days until the charter plane with their weekly deliveries showed up and the guy gave me a lift to Fairbanks. From there I got a plane to California. I roamed around the streets for months just lost inside myself and one day I ran into this big meathead of a vampire,” Fane replied, then looked to Oberon and gave him a slight smile.
“I must say, what my father did to you, to punish you, was just. If any of my pack were to disregard another in that way, I would beat them as well and make them feel what they had done. As alpha, it is my job to make sure all of my pack are taken care of and kept safe, even from each other or their dominant,” Ridge said.
Fane nodded. “It took what happened to make me see that. To see so much. The worst part of it is that beautiful young man had to suffer and the situation be so fucked up for me to learn my lessons. I wish I had been smart enough to learn them before I did what I did, but now it’s too late to take back. The only thing I can say is that it did change me. Profoundly. I wish Uncle was here so I could tell him so. Show him. Tell him how sorry I am and how grateful I am to him.”
“What happened to the delta?” Caleb asked.
Fane looked to his cousin’s mate once more, and was shocked again to see only concern in his eyes and not condemnation. He didn’t deserve anyone's concern or understanding in any of this, but as he sat there and looked at Caleb and Ridge, and saw only concern for the delta and for him, Fane realized he welcomed it. He had been running from the memories for so long and had spent all the years since that night punishing himself. To now see some compassion from his cousin, instead of disgust, shifted something inside him. Not that he would ever forget that night, or the beautiful man he had destroyed, but a part of him felt somehow a bit lighter. “Uncle took care of him and brought him back to health physically, but mentally he knew the man would need more than he could give. Uncle sent him away to one of the southern packs where he could get the help he needed with human doctors there.”
“And Fane paid for every cent of the care that young man needed all these years and then some,” Oberon added.
Fane looked to his friend, glaring, and shook his head. What he had done all these years meant nothing compared to the damage he had done. He didn’t want Oberon making him sound like he had done anything worthy. “No, O, stop. I will never be able to do enough to even try to make up for what I did to Gene,” Fane argued.
“Gene?” Jag gasped as he moved forward. “I always wondered what happened to him. He just up and left one day. Alpha Hiram said he wanted to go south, which I found odd at the time, because Gene always said how he loved it here.”
“I remember asking my dad about what happened to Gene too, and he told me the same thing. He said Gene wanted to go to the southern packs to find work that suited him better than the hunting he did here,” Ridge said.
The room went silent after that as they all got lost in their own thoughts. Fane had no idea how much time had passed, but suddenly, Ridge asked, “So what did you do after you left here? I know you haven’t been home to your dads or New York for that matter, so what have you been up to?”
“As I said, when I left, I made my way south to California…”
“And lived on the streets, homeless,” Oberon added in a huff as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“You what?” Ridge asked.
Before Fane
could answer, Oberon jumped in. “He didn’t think he was worthy of anything, so he tossed his dads’ credit cards and lived on the streets, eating out of dumpsters and begging for handouts. I’m sure that makes you happy,” Oberon sneered.
Ridge turned his intense gaze to Oberon, and Fane’s stomach sank. Yes, Ridge was a strong alpha, but even Fane could see that Ridge was more formidable now than when they were younger. Ridge was now larger, more muscular, and intense. Fane could feel the alpha power rolling off Ridge in waves, and knew his cousin was a deadly force all on his own—forget the fact he had others around him now who were warriors—and Fane now worried for his friends safety.
“Yes and no, actually. Yes, I believe Fane needed to be punished and to learn how to be a man, and I also believe he needed to be taught humility and how to be compassionate, but to hear he was homeless and hungry does not bring me any peace or joy. In a strange way, it does bring me some satisfaction, because it obviously has taught him a great many things and the whole experience has changed him from the complete asshole he used to be. Even I can see how much he has changed. So, as much as I hate hearing that my kin has suffered, I am also grateful for what has happened to him,” Ridge replied.
Fane could hear the truth in Ridge’s words and he agreed with every one of them. Still, it was a shame that someone as sweet and kind as Gene had to suffer for him to get his shit together.
“How long did you live on the streets?” Caleb asked.
“Six months. Oberon came across me one day and recognized me as a wolf shifter. Long story short, we weren’t the best of friends at first, but we quickly became friends and he tried for three months to get me to accept his help. When I finally did, Oberon invited me to stay with him, and he even got me a job at a club as a bouncer. We’ve spent a lot of time roaming around the world since then,” Fane replied.
“Doing what? Because the last I heard you were hanging out with Julius Valerian, the clan leader of a nest of vampires located in New Orleans, and everyone knows Valerian deals in drugs and other items sold on the black market,” Ridge sneered.
“How would you know that living so far up here?” Oberon said, his voice showing his surprise.
But at the same time Oberon asked his question, Fane spoke, saying, “You can’t believe everything you hear.”
Ridge looked between both of them, then settled his gaze back on Fane. “To answer both of you, I know things, because I have many contacts all over the globe, and what new information could you give me that would change my mind about Valerian and everything I know of him?” Ridge directed that to Fane.
He sighed heavily, then replied, “Yes, Julius is involved with a lot of illegal activities, but most of those things are against paranormal kind, not humans, and he has his reasons. Ones that I can't get into with you, because it is not only not my story to tell, but a vow I made and I won’t betray my word. Just know that Julius is not as horrible as others believe him to be. Oberon and I spent many years traveling all over the world, working odd jobs, and keeping to ourselves. But, one day we met a guy from Russia. Evil motherfucker. He was a polar bear shifter and didn’t care who he had to kill to get what he wanted.”
“Gregor. Sick motherfucker as Fane said. He would torture people just for the fun of it. Just because he felt like seeing what would happen if he shoved a hot poker up someone's... well, you get the picture. He really was a sick fucker,” Oberon sneered in disgust.
“Yeah, and by bad luck we got in his crosshairs for some reason. Neither of us ever even met the prick, and at that point had never even heard of him, but for some reason he set his sights on us. All I will say is it was bad. Real bad. Until one day we were rescued. That was the day we met Julius. He and his nest came in to overthrow Gregor and shut him down. Oberon and I swore our allegiance to Julius that day, and we’ve been loyal to him since.”
Ridge narrowed his eyes, then smirked. “I’m sure there are a hell of a lot more details to all of that, but I won’t push you for them. I can see and scent you’re telling me the truth, except you’re holding back... yet I don’t believe it’s because of anything bad you did, but from what was done to you, so I’ll let it go. It now brings us to today and what happened to now have Julius hunting you both down. So, what happened with this Silvan and his big mouth? Tell me Julius killed the stupid fuck,” Ridge said, his words surprising Fane. Since when did his cousin want to see others dead? Shit, he hadn’t been the only one who had changed.
“We were all hanging out one night at the nest club like usual. Silvan was hitting it hard on Scarlet Rhapsody. Whenever he did, which was a lot of the time, his tongue became very loose. Julius forbade Silvan to drink the shit in fear he would say the wrong thing to the wrong people, but Silvan never listened. Being Julius’s second it could be dangerous for the shithead to talk about nest issues in the wrong company, but Silvan, the egotistical bastard, thought he was too smart for any of that and he could handle his drinking,” Fane said in disgust.
“I thought that vamp crap was banned. Isn’t it supposed to be illegal?” Jag asked.
Fane turned and gave Jag a droll look. “Banned or illegal is never an issue with paranormals. I know you may not be totally aware of that, because you all are so far away from the rest of society and para breeds, but down in the lower forty-eight and around the world, illegal contraband is easily obtained. Now Julius banning it should be enough for Silvan to not use the crap, but he didn’t. We were so busy with other things that night that we didn’t even pay attention to what he was going on about. I still can only remember a little of what he was spouting, and I think that’s only because of the threat against us. If the threat had never come, I might have just forgotten about it altogether. To me it was just an insignificant asshole going on about something just as insignificant, but now I know better.”
“So, Julius found out and what, started killing everyone who was present that night?” Ridge asked.
Fane turned back to his cousin, and sighed. “Yes.” He went on to explain everything that happened after that, from Oberon coming to him, to hearing Julius and Silvan talking and he and Oberon running, until they finally arrived at Ridge’s doorstep a few hours ago.
CHAPTER 3
Fane had never been happier with the dark season approaching than he was right now. With Oberon being a vampire, his best friend couldn’t be out during the daylight hours, but with the season changing here in the arctic, the days were shorter and the nights becoming longer, giving them plenty of time to get to Ridge’s in the dark.
Since leaving New Orleans, he had been able to travel during the day until he first met Oberon in Los Angeles, but since then they could only travel at night. It had taken them forever to ride north to Fairbanks, but once there, Fane released a breath of relief when he realized the dark season was approaching. Not that he liked the ball-numbing cold that came with their location or the longer nights, but it meant they had more time to travel.
Normally Fane would have felt bad about showing up at his cousin’s front door at ten o’clock at night, but he had no other choice with Oberon as his companion. Leaving his friend behind to fend for himself was never an option, so Fane accepted the challenges.
Once they had discussed everything with Ridge, it was his cousin’s turn to talk, and what Ridge told him blew Fane’s mind. Because of the conversation he had overheard between Julius and Silvan, Fane had known that what Silvan had shot his mouth off about had some merit to it, but having Ridge confirm the rumor that The Reckoning and the Purge were coming to the world and what it all meant, was life altering.
He and Oberon, along with Ridge, Caleb, Jag, and his mate Bo, had stayed up all night talking about it all, then Ridge insisted he and Oberon take the sacred blood oath to the gods, which meant that neither of them could tell anyone about what was coming, or if they had found their mates before the Purge came, they and their mate would be victims of the Purge. And if they said anything without finding their mates, then they would most
likely suffer more by the gods’ hands when the time came.
Ridge had called a vampire friend of his to find out if the vampires had a different blood oath they needed to take to bind their word to the gods, so that Oberon would be bound by his oath as well. Once Ridge had the information, Fane and Oberon had taken their oaths gladly.
Just before six in the morning, they had finished up and Ridge showed he and Oberon to some guest rooms where they could rest until sundown. Ridge had also explained how he had made arrangements for him to go to his mate, Caleb’s, birth pack where the alpha and Caleb’s older brother, Dell, had promised to accept him into his pack.
Ridge had told him that now he knew the truth of everything, he wasn’t sure if Fane going to the York pack was the best move, but Fane understood his cousin’s original reasoning for the move. They would have issues living under the same roof, even with who Fane was now, not who he once was, Fane agreed with Ridge that it was probably for the best that they still had some distance, even if only to throw off Julius if he sent someone sniffing around, and Fane knew Julius would.
Even though Fane had never told Julius of his life in the tundra or his family connection there, he wasn't stupid enough to think Julius wouldn’t be able to find out if he did enough digging. Fane had purposely never told anyone but Oberon about Ridge and the Heart pack, because after the shit he and Oberon had gone through in Russia, Fane wanted to have one place on the planet that he could run to and disappear if need be.