“Don’t worry, little one,” I placed my hand on my belly, “I’ve got you. We’ll get through this together, and I’m going to give you the best life. I promise.”
79
Rex
I was on the way to the airport, leaving the island paradise I’d enjoyed for two weeks, and heading home. Scanning my phone for messages, nothing popped up from the one I wanted to hear from the most. Our last conversation was the night of the cocktail party. And I knew the words off by heart as I’d read and reread them so many times.
The last two days of my vacation had been soured by Alan. Good thing Jason was busy ‘cause if he’d been on social media, he might have seen that fuckwit had uploaded photos of us. If you weren’t familiar with the situation, the pics seemed intimate. Him with his hands and tongue everywhere. And that stupid hashtag. What was he sixteen? He’d had too much to drink and was very handsy.
I’d made my excuses soon afterwards and rushed off. Firstly, to have a shower as I stank of whiskey and Alan, and then to message Jason saying the party was awful and how much I missed him. But he didn’t reply. After that, I’d gotten my dinner and spent the night binge-watching a new TV series.
Jason didn’t seem like the type that spent hours on social media posting gifs, memes, and dumb videos. Who was I kidding? Did I really know that much about him? Maybe he spent all his free time on his phone.
On my last day in paradise, I’d wanted to buy Jason a present. It couldn’t be too expensive. Besides, this wasn’t about money. I wanted the gift to come from the heart.
But as I passed a beachside stall, a T-shirt emblazoned with the words, ‘Suit Yourself’ caught my attention. It was the perfect present for a tailor, especially as I’d mentioned his clothes that first night.
I’d stopped myself from phoning or messaging Jason again, figuring I should wait until I got home. But as I sat in the departure lounge, my trigger-happy finger scrolled through my contacts and called him. Or I tried to. He’s blocked me. Shit! Damn! Fuck!
I didn’t sleep on the plane and instead got drunk on the never-ending champagne the flight attendants offered me. Had we broken up?
The alcohol didn’t fill the emptiness inside me, and when I staggered out of the arrival hall and into the car I’d booked, I slumped into the back seat, not caring how I looked. My head pounded as the drunkenness wore off and a hangover took its place.
“There are barf bags in the pocket, sir,” the driver said. “Please use them.”
I wasn’t going to heave up the contents of my stomach, but I didn’t want to return home to my empty apartment. If I visited my parents, they’d be worried when I turned up looking worse than when I left. And if I phoned my brother, he’d ask about Jason.
Maybe Jason and I were dunzo, but I had to find out why and offer an apology for the clumsiness of the text that got him upset. Colin would never divulge a client’s details—even to his big brother, so that was a dead end. The restaurant!
I gave the driver the address and closed my eyes until the car stopped. I gulped a mouthful of water from a bottle the driver had given me, chewed a breath mint, and sort of strolled into the restaurant. Walking a straight line was tough but I think I pulled it off.
“Hi,” I said to the host standing just inside the doors.
“Sir,” he nodded.
Did he just screw up his nose? Could he smell the alcohol on my breath? Maybe I needed stronger breath mints.
The host asked, “Do you have a reservation? We’re very busy tonight.”
“No.” I studied the name tag on his jacket. “It’s like this, Tony… I can call you Tony, right? You seem like a man of the world. One who’s seen and done it all.” Not waiting for his response, I continued, “I’m looking for someone.”
He picked up a tablet. “Give me the name and I’ll show you to their table.”
“Sorry, I’m not making myself clear. I was here a few weeks ago with an omega named Jason.”
Tony furrowed his brow, but I ignored it. “He’s about yea high.” I indicated with my hand how tall Jason was, but Tony’s expression didn’t change. “He lives near here, and I was hoping you might know him.”
“Why don’t you try phoning him?” Tony suggested. “A phone is an amazing invention you may have heard of.”
Smartass. “Ummm, yeah well, that’s a little awkward. It’s because…”
The guy held up his hand. “It’s okay, I don’t want the details.”
“It’s like this. I said I was going out, and he thought I was going on a date. So, he got pissed at me and then some sleazy guy got overly friendly.”
“With Jason?”
“No.” I slapped his shoulder. “Keep up, Tony. That was Alan.”
“I’m confused. Who’s Alan?”
“The disgusting one with the tongue.” I shivered thinking of the wetness in my ear. “He put his hands all over me, someone took pics and uploaded them to social media.”
Tony made a face. “Sounds nasty. What happened to Jason?”
I threw my hands in the air. “That’s where I need your help, Tony.”
His eyes lit up. “Do you need me to beat up Alan?” He glanced over his shoulder and whispered, “It’ll cost you, though.”
Oh my God! Is he a hitman in his spare time? “No! Alan is no longer a problem because he’s on a small island far from here.”
His brows shot up. “Remind me to never get on your bad side otherwise I might find myself marooned in the middle of an ocean.”
What the fuck is he on about? “Anyway, I’m trying to find where Jason lives.”
Tony tapped the phone in his pocket. “As I said at the beginning of this very long and boring saga, you can phone him.”
I tugged my left ear and plastered a smile on my face. “It’s like this, Tony. I can’t because he blocked me.”
His eyes flicked from left to right, and he leaned toward me. I crossed my fingers hoping he was going to give me Jason’s address. “Even if this Jason is a regular customer—and I’m not saying he is—I can’t give out private information about our clientele, but if I see him, I’ll give him a message.”
Without thinking, I put my hands on either side of his face and kissed his forehead. “Thank you. I think I’m in love with you, Tony.”
“Don’t you want to hear what I’ll tell him?”
I shook my head. “I’ll write a note.” I patted him on the back. “And of course, there’ll be a little something for your trouble.” I pulled out my wallet and stuffed a few notes in his pocket.
“No need.” He grinned, and I stood a step back. It was more of an evil smirk than a smile. “I’m going to say, ‘Run like the wind, Jason and don’t look back.’”
“Well really!” I threw the words over my shoulder as I stomped outside. And to think I practically gave him my entire life story. I was no closer to finding Jason. Tomorrow was Sunday. Did tailors work on Sunday during the wedding season? Or should I give up and see this for what it was? The end.
80
Jason
I walked past the fitting-area mirror and flinched at my image. Whoever said that pregnant people glowed and radiated and all that jazz were full of garbage. I resembled a zombie far more than anything else.
It didn’t help that even the toast and tea were no longer staying down and that my nights were filled with craptastic dreams and rolling over constantly. I probably needed to call the doctor and ask to come in earlier, but what could they do for me? Nothing, really. At least not anything I could find using google md, which I really needed to learn to stay away from. I had a feeling half my bad dreams were spurred directly from that.
“Boss, you need to go home. I don’t want your cooties.” Keith took the clipboard I was carrying. “Seriously, go home and get better. Shit, go to a doctor already. This is well past the twenty-four-hour bug mark.”
“It’s not contagious,” I brushed past him. “And we have a suit due tomorrow and a fitting in a half an hour.�
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“No offense, but no one is going to want you near them. I’ll do the fitting, and I can stay late and will make sure the suit is done.” Keith had grown into a really good friend.
“I’m fine,” I lied and took the clipboard back and headed toward my sewing machine.
“Do you think...maybe...you said it’s not contagious...is it...cancer?” He stumbled through his words.
Shit, I’d managed to worry him that much. I mean, I did look bad, but...wow.
“I’m pregnant, dumbass.” I tried to lighten the word. “No dying for me.” Not that cancer was a death sentence, but he’d lost a parent to cancer as a small child, so in his eyes it probably felt like it.
“You’re...really?” He bit his bottom lip. “Now that I know you aren’t dying, I’m going to give you the ‘you do know what condoms are for’ speech. Not that it isn’t already too late for that.”
“A bit, yeah. But as you can see, there is no need to worry about me.” I sat down, Keith following me like a little puppy.
“You can still go home and rest.” He squished his nose the way he did when he was thinking too hard. “I can handle things here. Wait—that’s why you were talking about bringing someone on board.”
“Yeah. I figure I would need some time off.” Especially now that I was in this alone. I still couldn’t believe I fell for a taken man. I was an idiot.
“You really should go to a doctor.” He pulled up his stool. “What does the dad say?”
“I already made an appointment, and I don’t know. We broke up.” I very much was not getting into the details on that one with Keith.
“Big fight?” He leaned in closer, elbows on the table.
“More like we were never together in the first place.” Which was true even if my heart didn’t want to accept it at the time. He never promised me anything.
He also never told me the truth, so there was that.
“Don’t you think he will want to know he has a kid?”
Which was exactly why I was cycling through my guilt. Yes. He would want to know, or maybe he wouldn’t, but he had every right to know. And me putting the arbitrary timeline into place was far more about me not wanting to face the hardcore truth than it was about me not wanting to upset him for no reason if the pregnancy went south.
No. The hardcore reality of it all was that I was scared and allowing that fear to dictate my moves.
I wasn’t sure I could move past it, though, and do what was needed.
I just didn’t have the strength.
“Probably,” I admitted softly. “And I will tell him once I figure stuff out and the pregnancy is in the safety zone.” If that was even a true thing. I needed to stay off of Dr. Google.
“It’s Rex, right?” I nodded at his question, not wanting to say the word. Which was dumb and only furthered my assessment that I was a chicken head. Something in the way he said Rex felt off as if he knew something I didn’t. Or maybe he knew what I did and that Rex was getting married...not to me.
“I feel like there is something you’re hiding from me.” I clicked on the light of my machine in an attempt to get some work done before my next sprint to the bathroom, which was sadly coming.
“Says the man who hid that he was growing a human.” Touché.
“Deflecting much?”
“Fine.” He sat back up. “Rex is Colin’s brother.”
Colin’s brother. Because my life was not complicated enough already.
“So it wasn’t the app that set us up, it was you two?” Why didn’t they just say so. It could’ve saved so much heartache.
But then I wouldn't have my sweet baby.
“That was a dick move.” I tsked.
“It wasn’t us.” He crossed his fingers over his heart. “I mean, it was us, but only in that the app worked out that way. You were the one who answered the questions.” I just stared at him. “Which—really? Someone picked you for liking old people dishes?”
“That is not what they are.” I reeled in my lecture on the beauty of the pottery, “And yeah. He did. He has a collection of them.” One worthy of a museum.
“And you broke up.” He didn’t sound like he believed me. Had Colin said something to him? No, that didn’t make sense. His nosiness would’ve had him giving me the third degree long before now if he had.
“We had one night. It’s hardly a break-up.” Although it felt exactly like one.
“Whatever you say, boss.” He started to rise and then sat back down. “He does need to know.”
“Let me make sure I get over the safety hump first,” I pleaded. The last thing I needed was to have Rex find out through a third person.
“I can’t lie to Colin.”
“And if Colin asks if I am pregnant and hiding it from his brother, then I give you permission to say yes, but other than that, please promise me you won’t say anything. I need time. I promise I will tell him.”
“For the record, this shouts bad life choice.”
“I know.”
“Fine,” he agreed. “But I hate that you put me in this position.”
I hated it more.
81
Rex
“You need another vacation, big brother. Those shadows under your eyes tell me you’re not sleeping enough.” It was Saturday afternoon, and I’d been home for what seemed like ages. Colin was sitting on my couch with his feet on the coffee table enjoying a beer.
“That’s the trouble with holidays. When you return, there’s so much work to catch up on, it’s exhausting.”
“Of course, there’s always another possibility.” My brother eyed me over the can he was holding.
I pushed his feet off the coffee table and muttered, “Oh yeah, what’s that?” I had an inkling I didn’t want to hear what he was about to say, but there was no use trying to distract him.
“Sex,” he announced.
That wasn’t what I was expecting. “Huh?”
“You and Jason. Getting hot and heavy. Going at it all hours of the day and night.”
I wish. “Ewww. Stop it. We’re not testosterone-driven teens.” Technically I wasn’t lying. That much was true.
“And why not? At the beginning of a relationship, people are usually at it like rabbits.”
I shoved a pretzel in his mouth. “Stop talking!”
We sat in silence while sipping our beer. I really wanted Colin’s advice because he was one of the few people I trusted, but didn’t want to admit I’d screwed up. I kept reminding myself I was only partly to blame because Jason jumped to conclusions thinking I was going on a date and didn’t listen when I tried to explain.
I seesawed between the depths of depression, to anger at Jason’s actions without speaking to me, and then somewhere in the middle where this was a tiny hiccup and would all blow over.
Perhaps I could grill my brother for information but I had to be subtle. “Been anywhere interesting lately, little bro?”
Colin closed one eye and tilted his head. “Why are you asking? You don’t usually pay attention to my personal life?”
Damn! Guess I was way too obvious. “There’s never a need,” I growled. “You blab about every single thing that’s happened to you.” Shit! “Sorry, didn’t mean to snap.”
“So why are you asking now?”
He was right. I’d argued myself into a corner.
“Rex, are you alright? I’m concerned, and our dads haven’t heard from you in days.”
The last thing I needed was to worry our parents. They might stage an intervention. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just got a lot going on at work. Trying to sign a huge contract and the other party is having a wobble.” Also not a lie.
“Okay.” He started to say something and then shook his head and took another sip of beer.
When my brother left, I paced over the terrace not wanting to stay cooped up in the apartment. After going to the restaurant the day I returned from vacation, I hadn’t been back and had balked at going to the tailor’s shop. But I
needed to see Jason. Maybe even talk to him, though what I really wanted to do was shake him until his teeth rattled and then put my arms around him.
But as I got in the car and pressed the ignition, I had second thoughts. I didn’t want to stalk him but had no choice. A little voice in my head said the correct option was to go back to my apartment. I ignored it.
Was I crazy? Thoughts of Jason consumed every waking hour, and I considered that part of my insanity was because I hated losing. But I didn’t own him, and he wasn't mine to lose.
I drove slowly along the street where the tailor’s was located but there were cafés and restaurants on either side, and both the road and sidewalks were busy. After one quick glance at the shop window, I couldn’t tell if it was open or not.
Do I drive around the block again? I parked on the next street and strolled along the pavement swerving around the crowds enjoying the balmy weather. After perching on a stool at a café and ordering an iced coffee, I pulled my sunglasses down my nose and peered over the top.
But with the sun in my eyes, I squinted trying to make out if Jason was at work. From the corner of my eye, I noted movement in the shop. Do I stay or go in? I couldn’t embarrass him, but damn it, there was no other way to get in touch. I’d tried social media and I was blocked there too.
I sat and wondered why his response—or lack of it—bugged me so much. If this had happened in any of my previous relationships, I would have shrugged and moved on. But despite wanting to keep things casual, after being with Jason, I wanted to be his one and only. Is that how it feels to be in love? Lust perhaps, not love.
I spat out my coffee and wiped my chin with a paper napkin. Is that right? Did I want to make things permanent? “You’re an idiot,” the voice in my head whispered. “Why else would you be doing this? Unless you are a stalker.”
Pushing those thoughts out of my head, I concentrated on the person in the shop window. Was that him or Keith adjusting the jacket on a mannequin? It was hard to tell. I hadn’t seen my brother’s school buddy in years. But as I shaded my eyes, the person turned and stared in my direction. That’s definitely Jason!
Love at Blind Date Complete Series: Books 1-4 Page 29