Hawk's Choice (Infernal Sons MC Book 3)

by Carol Dawn

  And it starts right fucking now!

  Chapter Two

  Hawk

  I got a call from Bear about two hours later saying that everything was dealt with. Phoenix will never have to worry about those men again. No one will. I’m still pissed that I didn’t get my turn with them, but I trust that Trigger gave them all a nice parting gift from me.

  “You’re still here.”

  I look down into the face of the man who owns my heart and doesn’t even realize it.

  “Yeah, sweet boy,” I tell him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  His eyes shine with something I can’t quite see. Hope, maybe?

  Phoenix winces when he tries to adjust his body. I lean over him and press the red call button on the controller near his other hand.

  “Can I help you?” a female voice says from the speaker on the controller.

  “Phoenix is awake and needs his pain medication, please,” I say.

  “I’ll be right there.”

  “I really don’t need any pain medicine, Hawk. It makes me sleepy. I just want to go home.”

  “I’m not going to sit here and watch you lay in pain when something can be done about it, Phoenix.”

  “I never asked you to stay, Hawk,” Phoenix says with attitude. “And, why do you keep calling me Phoenix?”

  “Because that’s your name,” I say. “Slim is who you pretend to be. I want to know the real you. I want to know Phoenix. And, there is no place I would rather be than at your side.”

  “You say that now,” he says, turning his head away. “You may change your mind when you find out who I really am.”

  I can hear the pain in his voice. Not pain from his injuries. Something much deeper.

  “Nothing could ever change my mind about this, sweet boy. About us. Because you had best believe that there is an us. And there is nothing a single soul on this planet can do to change that.”

  “I don’t know how to be an us,” he whispers. “I don’t even know how to be a me.”

  “Trust me, baby. Trust me to make you feel safe enough to be you.”

  Phoenix stays silent.

  “We need to talk about what happened. What you said,” I tell him. “You said you’re tired of pretending. You’re pretending to be Slim to hide from someone. I need information so I can make you feel safe.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it right now,” he tells me. Finally, he turns his head back and I can see the unshed tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to drag you into my problems.”

  “Why not?” I ask. “Why don’t you want me to help you?”

  “Because it’s dangerous,” he says, as a single tear trails down his face. “Because I don’t want him to hurt you. You mean more to me than you realize. And, the very second he figures that out, he’ll use you to get to me.”

  I’m silent as I process this new information. It doesn’t change the fact that this man is mine and I don’t care what fucker knows about it. But, how do I make Phoenix understand that I really mean what I say? That nothing and no one will stop me from loving him. Because I do. I love Phoenix and have for months now.

  “This has nothing to do with the thugs that attacked me at the club,” he says, breaking through my thoughts. “I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

  “You don’t have to worry about them anymore,” I tell him. “Trigger took care of it.”

  “Good.”

  “Mr. Owen,” an older lady says, walking into the room. “I’m Nurse Jackie. I’ll be your nurse this shift. I have your medicine.”

  “When can I go home?” he asks her.

  The nurse looks down at our still connected hands. A look of disgust crosses her face but she’s fast to replace it with a smile.

  I can feel the growl rising up my throat, but I hold it back when Phoenix squeezes my hand.

  “The doctor is releasing you today. The paperwork is being filled out as we speak.”

  The nurse places the pills on the tray.

  “Let’s go over some information really quick,” she continues. “It would be best if you had someone with you for the next week or two. At least long enough to have your ribs healed a little. No lifting anything heavier than a carton of milk and no driving until your follow up appointment in six weeks. That covers everything. We’ll have your prescription with your discharge papers. I hope you get to feeling better, Mr. Owen.” She turns and walks towards the door.

  I can’t hold my thoughts back.

  “My fiancé` was attacked in a hate crime,” I say, and she freezes but doesn’t turn around. “Then you come in here with your sneer and judgmental attitude at the sight of our connected hands. He was beaten by people like you. Bigoted fools who can’t see past their own reflections. No matter how much hate you have in your heart for us, it won’t change who we love.

  Perhaps, the next time you enter one of your patient’s rooms, do so with kindness and openness instead of contempt. Because you’re not any better than those bastards who thought they had a right to beat someone because they were different.” I pause, waiting.

  She doesn’t move or say anything for about a minute. Finally, she bows her head and quietly says, “Have a good day,” before walking out of the room.

  “Wow,” Phoenix whispers. “That was really hot.”

  “Hot, huh?” I say with a smirk. “Well, it was either use my words to try and make her feel bad or kill her for looking at you like that.”

  “The fact that you’re not joking is also pretty sexy,” Phoenix admits with a blush.

  One day soon, I’m going to see if I can make other parts of his body blush. Like that sexy ass when I tan it for going to that damn club alone.

  “What are you thinking?” He asks.

  “You’ll find out one day soon, my sweet boy. Now, who are you running from?”

  Phoenix’s eyes widen. “That was a quick change of subject.”

  “And that wasn’t an answer. I need to know, baby.”

  Taking a deep breath in, then cringing at the pain it must have caused him, he says, “I know. I really do. But, can we talk about it some other time? There’s something else I want to talk about right now.”

  Intrigued, I relent just this once.

  “Okay,” I tell him. “But, soon, we will be having that conversation.”

  He nods his head.

  “What did you want to talk about?” I ask.

  He closes his eyes before talking.

  “What’s going on here between us?” he asks, quietly.

  I take a few seconds to carefully consider my words. Sticking with the complete truth seems like the best choice.

  “I’ve been pushing you away, avoiding alone time with you for almost a year. I’m tired of it, sweet boy. I want you more than I want my next breath,” I admit. “I knew you were hiding from someone. I didn’t want to scare you anymore than you already were.”

  “I’m not scared for myself,” he says. “If I’m found, I’ll put everyone in danger. I promise to tell you all about it, but I just need time. For now, there’s something else you need to know.”

  It takes everything I have not to demand an answer about who is after him. I manage to hold my tongue and change the subject like he wants.

  “What do I need to know?”

  “It might be easier if I just show you. Tomorrow,” he says with his eyes still closed tightly.

  “Open your eyes, baby.”

  He slowly opens, and I’m drowning in his beautiful brown eyes. I could stay here and get lost for hours if I’m not careful.

  “Alright,” I relent. “Tomorrow.”

  Something that looks like worry crosses his eyes. Whatever it is he wants to show me, he’s nervous about it.

  I lean down and kiss his forehead. The tiny sigh that escapes his lips lets me know that he needed that just as much as I needed to give it to him.

  “Whatever it is that you’re worried about, stop it,” I tell him. “There is nothing you could s
ay or show me that will change what I think about you.”

  “You say that now,” he says, looking into my eyes. “I’m not ashamed, I’m just concerned at how everyone will react.”

  My poor boy.

  “Don’t you worry about that,” I tell him. “You just show me whatever it is you want to show me. If anyone reacts poorly, I’ll break their nose.”

  I get a small chuckle. “You would, wouldn’t you?”

  “In a heartbeat,” I say.

  “Knock knock. I have your paperwork here, Mr. Owen,” a young man says as he walks into the room. “Do you have someone to stay with for a couple of weeks while you heal?”

  “He does,” I say before Phoenix can answer.

  “Alright, I’ll bring a wheelchair in and then you’ll be all set to leave.”

  “Thank you,” I say.

  “You have a choice to make,” I tell Phoenix when we’re alone. “We can either stay at your place or mine. Either way, I’ll be wherever you are.”

  His eyes widen. “You don’t have to do that,” he tells me with a blush. “I can just stay at the clubhouse. There’s always someone there to help me if I need it.”

  “That’s not happening,” I say with determination.

  After a few moments, he releases a sigh.

  “You’re not budging, are you?”

  “Nope.”

  “Alright, let’s stay at my apartment the first day. I need to pack some things and I need to be there to show you what I want to show you.”

  I nod my agreement just as the man walks in pushing the wheelchair.

  “You ready to get out of here?” He asks, Phoenix.

  “More than ready,” he admits.

  We manage to get him dressed without causing him too much pain.

  I help him into his chair, grab his things and follow them down the hall.

  Tomorrow, I find out what he wants to show me. And as soon as he gets settled into my home, I will find out what he’s hiding from. Who he’s hiding from.

  Then I’ll make it so that he never has to be afraid again.

  Chapter Three

  Slim

  What the heck am I thinking? I don’t show the other side of myself for a reason. The deeper I hide, the harder it will be for my uncle to find me. Yet, at the same time, I am so tired of hiding. Some days I wish he would just find me already so I can stop looking over my shoulder.

  I look over at Hawk sitting on my living room couch. If I just opened up to him, tell him what’s been going on, I know he’ll help me. I know the whole club will. They’re my family.

  But what if they treat me differently when they find out? Just like Uncle did. He used to ignore me for years. Pretended like I didn’t exist. That is, until the day my parents were both killed in a car accident when I was sixteen years old.

  Being the only family I had left, Uncle was given full guardianship of me. Even then, he ignored me for months. Until he received a phone call that changed everything.

  My parents had left me with a substantial inheritance. Of course, I didn’t find out about it until just before I turned eighteen. I accidentally overheard a phone conversation between my uncle and whoever was on the other line that had me sneaking out as quickly as possible.

  That was a year and a half ago. I know he’s still looking for me because every few months he gets closer and closer to where I am. A couple of weeks ago he went to Canada for his friend’s wedding. Last I checked, he was still there.

  “Do you need any help changing?” Hawk asks.

  Have I been staring at him this whole time?

  “No, thank you,” I say quickly, before turning and closing my bedroom door.

  I should have accepted his offer because trying to get my shirt off was much more painful than putting it on. After a few frustrating minutes, I manage to remove my shirt and slide on my sleep pants.

  “Do you want anything to eat?” I ask Hawk as I make my way into the kitchen.

  “I just ordered Chinese,” he says, walking towards me. “Where is your arm sling?”

  Crap.

  “Hanging on my door handle,” I admit.

  Sighing, Hawk turns toward my room to retrieve the evil contraption.

  “You’re supposed to leave this on,” he scolds.

  “I know. It helps relieve the pain in my arm but the weight of my arm resting right over my ribs hurts like hell.”

  “Alright,” he says, before adjusting the straps on the sling. “Try this.”

  He places my arm into the sling and gently loops in over my head. My arm is much lower than it was before, resting on my lower stomach and not right on my cracked ribs.

  “That’s much better,” I admit. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, baby,” he says with a small grin.

  “So, Chinese food, huh? My favorite.”

  “Yep,” is all he says.

  Why do I feel uncomfortable? I’ve never felt like this around Hawk before. Sure, I was pretending to be someone else, but it was never this awkward.

  Maybe it’s because tomorrow he’s going to see the real me for the first time. What if he hates it? What if it turns him away from his obvious plan to make us an “us”? I mean, he’s gay for a reason, right? What if makeup, pretty clothes and high heels turn him off?

  What if…

  “What are you thinking so hard about?” Hawk asks, interrupting my mental freak out. “I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears.”

  “Uhm.”

  What do I say, ‘I was wondering if a man wearing high heels makes your dick hard?’ Would you still want to be with me if I was wearing makeup and a skintight dress?’

  “There you go again,” he teases.

  “I don’t want to lie,” I tell him. “But I would rather not talk about it right now if that’s okay.”

  Hawk walks up to me and pulls me gently against his massive chest. I’m five foot seven inches and I barely come up to his chin. Being cocooned in his arms is the best feeling. Even if he isn’t holding me very tight.

  Never move, I think to myself.

  “Thank you for being honest with me, sweet boy. And, if I could, I would stay in this exact position for the rest of our lives. But you need to eat, and then sleep.”

  “Did I say that out loud?” I whisper.

  “Sure did,” he says with a chuckle.

  I groan when there’s a knock on the door. I’m so angry at whoever is interrupting my moment.

  Still chuckling, Hawk guides me to the couch before going to get our dinner.

  It takes us half an hour to devour all the food.

  “Why did you get so much?” I ask.

  “I wasn’t sure how hungry you were.”

  “Well, it doesn’t matter, big guy. No matter how full I get, if there’s Chinese food sitting in front of me, I will find a way to stuff more down my face.”

  “I saw that,” he says, amused. “You ate almost as much as I did. And, that’s saying something.”

  I nod and yawn at the same time.

  “Time for bed, sweet boy.”

  I don’t argue because I am very tired.

  “I’ll get your pain medication ready. If you take it now, it will help you sleep.”

  Again, I don’t argue. One, it would do no good to argue with the man, and two, a pain-free sleep sounds great.

  After taking my medication and using the restroom, Hawk helps me to bed. I offer to let him sleep here and I would take the couch, but his glare was all he needed for me to zip my mouth shut.

  “Sleep sweet, baby,” he whispers against my forehead.

  He places a soft kiss where his lips are, before turning and leaving with the door slightly cracked.

  ***

  The night wasn’t as pain-free as I would have liked. The medication helped as long as I didn’t move. But, this morning, my ribs are hurting much worse than they did yesterday.

  I thought something was wrong, so I frantically yell for Hawk. He runs in
to the room wearing only his jeans and I forget for a moment that I’m in an insane amount of pain.

  Holy chest.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks.

  “What?” I ask, confused.

  He smirks, knowingly.

  “You screamed my name… Painfully.”

  “Oh, right,” I mutter. “Ribs hurt extremely bad.”

  “The papers say that it’s normal,” Hawk says. “It says that first thing in the morning would be the worst pain of the day. Once you take your morning meds and move around a little it will ease up.”

  “You couldn’t have told me all of this last night?”

  “I only read it last night after you went to bed,” he says. “Here, take these.”

  He hands me two pills from the bottle on my bedside table and a glass of water. I accept them and swallow the pills down greedily.

  “Bear called Church this morning,” he tells me as I settle back into bed and wait for the meds to kick in. “After we get you packed and over to my place, I’ll head over and see what it’s about. I won’t stay gone long.”

  “I’m coming with you, Hawk,” I tell him. “Just give the pain pills time to kick in and I’ll get ready.”

  He stares at me, looking for something, before finally nodding his agreement.

  “I’ll go make us some breakfast,” he says, walking toward the door. “We’ll eat, get you packed and then head out.”

  “Sounds good,” I say.

  After a delicious breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and sausage, Hawk left to clean up while I packed and got ready.

  “Uhm, it’s going to take me a little while to get ready,” I yell through my closed door.

  “That’s alright, baby,” he yells back. “Take your time so you don’t hurt yourself.”

  Sure, let him think it’s going to take me a while because I need to be careful not to hurt my ribs. Not because I have to put my makeup on and dig out my cute outfits from the back of my closet.

  I can’t believe I’m about to do this. I’m about to show Hawk who I really am. Then, I’m going to the clubhouse and showing everyone else. Sure, they accept the awkward nerdy Slim, but will they accept this version of myself?