by Sadie Moss
As I drowned in Jerrett’s kiss, large hands—new hands—swept my hair over one shoulder, exposing the side and back of my neck.
“I’m sorry, wildcat. I never meant to hurt you.”
Malcolm’s breath was warm, his chest so close to my back that I felt his words vibrate against me.
I sighed softly into Jerrett’s mouth as Malcolm’s lips found the back of my neck, trailing soft kisses over the bare skin. The combination of sensory input almost made my toes curl. The feeling of being sandwiched between two large, dominating bodies thrilled and relaxed me. I had never felt so turned on, so desired, or so safe.
Finally, I broke my kiss with Jerrett, turning to look over my shoulder at Malcolm. He was so close I could see every nuance of his deep brown eyes. The flecks of red that glistened like tiny drops of blood. The way the color lightened slightly near the iris, becoming almost caramel. They were entrancing, so beautiful and full of buried pain and secrets that I felt like I could lose myself in his gaze.
“You did hurt me,” I murmured softly. “Maybe it was stupid, but I thought you cared about me like I care about you. And to see you look so bored when your father talked about killing me… It hurt. It hurt worse than when I realized Kyle didn’t love me.”
I broke off, surprised by the admission. Both that I’d said it, and that it was absolutely true. My nine-year relationship with my ex-husband had existed on a completely different emotional plane than my feelings for the three vampire men who had saved my life.
With Kyle, the highs and lows had been muted, bland, and almost indistinguishable from each other.
But Malcolm, Sol, and Jerrett?
They made me crazy. Literally.
With them, I felt almost unhinged at times, driven by impulses and desires the last vestiges of the “old me” hardly recognized.
Jesus, I’d just physically attacked Malcolm, something I’d never done before in my life.
Malcolm’s large palm reached up to cup my cheek. Jerrett had both his hands firmly on my ass now, holding me up between them.
“No, Willow. God, no. Please don’t think that. I was only playing Carrick’s game. The Penumbra can be a dangerous place, wildcat, and my father is a dangerous man. I’m trying to get you out of here alive.”
I nodded, a lump rising in my throat at the pain in his voice. I had hurt him, just not the way I’d intended to. My kissing the hell out of Jerrett didn’t seem to have bothered him at all, but hearing that he’d hurt me worse than Kyle seemed to have struck a deep nerve in him.
Jerrett kissed my hair, squeezing my ass and pulling me hard against him, grinding his cock against my center for a moment in a way that made us both groan.
“Holy fuckballs, sweetheart. If that’s how your fights end, you and Mal can fucking fight anytime you want.”
I chuckled softly, looking back at him with a smile.
He nipped my bottom lip, then gently released his hold on me. I slid down his body, turning around when my feet hit the floor. Jerrett wrapped his arms around me from behind as I craned my head to look up at his brother.
“Thank you, Malcolm. I shouldn’t have doubted you. Hell, everything you’ve done so far has been to keep me safe—even when I didn’t make it easy for you. I don’t want to join your father’s court. I’m with you three, and I trust you guys. No one else.”
His dark eyes burned as he gazed down at me. “Good.”
The tension that had filled the room since Carrick first stepped into it began to drain away. As my head cleared, I became aware of my wet hair; the auburn strands stuck together and clung to my shoulders. The cool night air coming from the open window hit my damp skin, raising a chill.
Very little fabric separated me from the two men who held me between them like bookends. If I pushed down the straps of my dress, like I had in that dream back at the church, I’d be completely naked.
What would happen if I did? Would the scenario play out just like my mind had envisioned it? With Sol on his knees before me, Jerrett holding me up from behind, and Malcolm… Malcolm across the room, separate and stoic?
No. I didn’t want that.
I wanted all three of them.
Although things seemed better, clearer between us, if I pushed for more right now, I had a strong suspicion Malcolm would retreat back into the hard shell he usually wore.
There were still things he wasn’t telling me. I could sense it. I could see it in his shadowed eyes.
But I would wear him down. I’d show him he could trust me, just like I knew I could trust him.
Forcing my unwilling body to move, I slipped out from between Malcolm and Jerrett. Malcolm took a step back to allow my escape, his dark gaze tracking my movement as I crossed to the wardrobe on one wall.
“Let me just change out of this wet dress really quick. I’ll be right back.”
I pulled out a soft red gown and slipped into the bathroom, leaving the door open a crack.
The tub was still full of tepid water, and I reached down to pull the plug from the drain.
So much for a relaxing bath.
My mind, still fuzzy with lust from my kiss with Jerrett, briefly wondered if four people could fit into this bathtub.
Probably. It was big, wide and deep, almost the size of a hot tub.
Focus, Willow!
I shook my head. As the old me—the one who would’ve freaked out at the prospect of being with three gorgeous, lethal men at the same time—died an unceremonious death, it was hard for the new me to keep her thoughts on anything else.
But I needed to stay sharp and smart if I was going to walk out of the Penumbra alive. And I really didn’t want to die here.
As I peeled the slightly wet, clingy blue dress over my head, I called toward the half-open door, “So what was Carrick talking about? Besides the killing me bit, I mean. That part, I understood. But what are these trials he mentioned?”
Sol appeared in the doorway as I picked up the red dress, and I yelped, pressing it to my bare chest. Belatedly, I remembered that he couldn’t see me. But his green eyes blazed with heat, and I was sure he knew I was naked. I could feel his attention like a warm beam of light on my skin as his focus drifted over my body.
Abandoning any pretense of modesty, I slipped the dress on and stepped forward, turning my back toward him. “Help, please?”
He smiled softly, grasping the zipper just above my tailbone and sliding it up my back.
As he worked the zipper up, he answered my first question. “Vampire law requires that any new member of our race be approved by the king. Our kind live so long that it’s a way of keeping the population from exploding. It’s been like that as long as I’m aware of, though some kings are more lax about enforcement than others.”
“I’m guessing Carrick isn’t one of the lax ones?” I stepped away from Sol, twisting my damp hair up into a messy bun as I turned back to face him.
“Actually, he is. Usually. It’s an open secret that a number of undeclared vampires live under the radar in North America, but he’s never bothered to track them down.”
He placed a hand on the small of my back, ushering me from the room. I was struck again by how capable and gentlemanly Sol was. I still couldn’t believe he was the youngest of the brothers. There was something so old-fashioned about him.
“So how does it work?” I glanced up at him as we re-entered the bedroom.
He steered me to the large bed, and I plopped down onto the soft comforter, tucking my legs up under me. Jerrett and Malcolm joined us, sitting on the end of the mattress so the four of us were arranged in a rough circle.
“Vampires are allowed to feed from pretty much anyone they want.” Jerrett still looked tousled and a little dazed, and warmth filled my belly to think I’d affected him so strongly. “But when it comes to turning humans, things are a little more tightly controlled. It can basically go two ways: either a vampire asks permission from the king before they turn someone, or they have to justify their choice aft
er the fact.”
“Okay.” I dipped my head to let him know I was following so far.
“When I turned Sol, I had Carrick’s approval. I’d seen Sol fight on the battlefield, knew he was strong, honorable, and smart as fuck. So when he got sick, I asked the king for permission to save him by turning him.”
I nodded again, then paused. “Wait. Why were you watching Sol on the battlefield? How did you even come across him?”
He quirked a smile at me, his lip ring glinting. “Oh. Because I was fighting too.”
My jaw fell open. “In the Civil War?”
“Yeah. Why not? I volunteered for a lot of wars where I thought I could do some good. I mean, I never brought out my full vampire strength, but I was still a pretty valuable fighter.”
“Holy shit.”
He chuckled. “Hey, in two thousand years, I’ve seen some messed up shit go down. I got tired of waiting on the sidelines hoping the right side would win.”
“And now you all spend your time fighting against supernatural threats to the world.” I shook my head, warmth rising in my chest. “You really are kind of amazing, you know that?”
I could’ve sworn Sol blushed slightly, and Jerrett grinned. “Fuck yeah, we know. But it means more coming from you, sweetheart.”
His fingers brushed my knee, and the wildfire I’d just tamped down sprang up again inside me.
But fear doused it a moment later when I asked my next question. “So if you hadn’t asked Carrick for permission, what would’ve happened to Sol? What happens to undeclared vampires?”
“They have to prove their worthiness after the fact,” Sol said softly. “Since the king wasn’t given a chance to decide their value to our race before they were turned, they have to prove themselves through a series of trials.”
“And if they fail?”
He dropped his head. “They die. Either they don’t survive the trials, or if by some chance they do survive but still fail, they’re put to death. Tied to a stake outside the Penumbra and left for the sun to claim.”
Nausea tightened my stomach as anxiety gripped me in a cold fist. “Can I get out of it? Run away? Go off the grid or something, live without a clan like you guys do?”
“No.” Malcolm’s voice was thick with regret. “If Carrick had never found out about you, yes, you could’ve lived your whole life under the radar. That was why we tried to send you away, wildcat. I didn’t want my father anywhere near you, and I thought you’d be safer away from me. But now that Carrick is aware of your existence? No. There’s nowhere you can hide.”
“He may be lax about enforcing the law on most new vampires, but he’s also a son of a bitch. And he hates being made to look weak. If you escaped the trials, he’d go after you just to make an example of you.” Jerrett’s lip curled up in a snarl.
“And to punish me,” Malcolm added with a pained look.
“We’ll do what we can to protect you, Willow. But if Malcolm openly defies Carrick, we risk a war between divided vampire factions—one none of us would likely walk away from. That has to be our last resort.”
Sol’s voice was grave, and he tilted his face toward mine. He couldn’t see me, but I was sure he could hear my thudding heart.
The meaning of what he’d said slowly sank in.
Their last resort.
They would fight for me if it came down to it. Even though they would likely die in the process.
Maybe it was just because they all felt responsible for my existence, since they were the ones who had brought me into this new world. But I couldn’t believe that was all. I didn’t want to believe it. There was a deeper reason they would fight to protect me, and it had to do with the powerful emotion that blazed in each of their eyes when they looked at me. Even Sol, who couldn’t see me the same way his brothers could, gazed in my direction with an expression that was simultaneously tender and fierce.
I was afraid to put a name to it, afraid to poke at the soft parts of my own heart and examine the feelings blooming there.
But I knew one thing.
If it would keep them alive, I would do my very best to win these trials, whatever they may be.
7
Willow
When I was a little girl, my favorite holiday was Christmas.
That was before my parents disowned me for marrying Kyle—long before I even met Kyle. Before my life became more complicated and strange than I ever could’ve dreamed. Christmas was the best day of the year, and the first twenty-four days of December each seemed to stretch out to several times the length of an ordinary twenty-four hours.
I learned as a kid that waiting for something exciting makes time drag.
And as it turns out, waiting for something you’re dreading makes time shoot forward at the speed of a bullet.
How did three days pass so quickly? That can’t be right.
I smoothed my hands over the front of my black leather pants nervously. Pants, shirts, boots, and other practical activewear had mysteriously appeared in my wardrobe overnight, laid neatly on shelves alongside the ever-present array of dresses. Hell, I’d even been given panties.
The cream-colored tank top showed off muscles in my arms I was pretty sure I hadn’t had before, and although I still didn’t have a bra, the tank was tight enough to keep everything securely in place.
Then again, I was sure the least of my worries in the upcoming trial would be one of my boobs popping out.
My palms started sweating all over again at the thought, and I wiped them on my pants again, staring into the full-length mirror that stood in one corner of the bedroom.
Is this really happening? Can I do it?
The muscles in my arms flexed as I moved, and my legs looked long and lean in the tight black pants. The boots came up to my knees and had thick soles; they looked like they’d been designed for the sole purpose of kicking ass. I’d pulled my dark hair back from my face and secured it in a tight ponytail, and despite the fear that glittered in my large hazel eyes, I looked… strong. Beautiful.
I cocked my head, examining the woman in the mirror more closely. I’d noticed a change in myself the night I got back to my apartment after being turned by the brothers. My skin had been smoother, my hair thicker and shinier. But what I saw now was more than that.
It was a change that had happened on the inside.
A strength and self-assurance that had taken root in my soul and was beginning to radiate from within me.
Had the vampiric change actually made me more beautiful? Or was I just able to see myself more clearly now? To see the things I hadn’t had the confidence to believe were there?
“You were just as lovely when you were human.”
I jumped, my heart rate spiking, and whirled around so fast my head spun.
“Jerrett!” I pressed a hand to my chest. “Jesus! How am I still not used to vampires being so quiet?”
“I wasn’t that quiet. I knocked, even. You were just distracted.”
He closed the door behind him and crossed the room toward me, his confident, rolling gait making him look like some kind of predatory cat.
Blowing out a breath, I turned back to the mirror, meeting his gaze over my shoulder in its smooth surface.
“Oh. Yeah, I guess I do have a lot on my mind.” My brows furrowed as I processed what he’d said when he first entered. “Wait. How do you know what I looked like when I was human? The only time you saw me, I was covered in blood and had knife wounds all over me. Please tell me I look better than that!”
His expression darkened for a moment, as if remembering the sight of me fighting off death physically pained him. He shook his head, his lopsided smirk returning as he came to stand directly behind me. Jerrett was a few inches shorter than Malcolm, but still tall enough that he could comfortably rest his chin on top of my head.
He did that now, wrapping his arms loosely around my shoulders in a sort of hug. It was the first time he’d touched me in a way that wasn’t openly sensual or flirtat
ious, but there was something about the ease and casualness of this touch that set the butterflies in my stomach off even harder.
As if he didn’t just want me. He liked me.
“You look much better than that, Will. Shit, I don’t want to ever see you hurt like that again. But…”
He trailed off, a somewhat guilty look sliding over his face.
My brows pinched together. “But what?”
“Well, that wasn’t the first time I saw you. My brothers and I somehow crossed your path a few times when we were hunting that shade in New York. I thought it was a happy coincidence, though now it seems more likely it’s because the shade was hunting you. But every time our paths crossed, I noticed you.”
“You did?” I tilted my head back, trying to meet his eyes.
He looked down at me and chuckled, then turned me around to face him. “Yeah. We all did. There was something about you even then that… fuck, I dunno. It felt like it called to me. Your blood, maybe. We had no idea what you were then, but maybe it was some kind of unconscious allure.”
“Oh.” I considered his words, trying to tamp down my irrational disappointment that the thing that’d called to him had been my mysterious fae blood, not my sense of humor or amazing wit—not that he would’ve known about those things just from looking at me. “Actually, it makes sense that you saw me before. I’m pretty sure I saw you guys too. It’s a really fuzzy memory, and it gets all jumbled up with the images of your faces when you turned me. But when I woke up in your house, and Malcolm came in to feed me, I could’ve sworn I knew him from somewhere.”
“Shit. I didn’t think you saw us. Just goes to show how goddamn enchanting you were. You put three skilled hunters off their game.” He winked at me, the iridescent purple of his eyebrow ring glinting in the light.
“Jerrett?” My heart hammered dully as I gazed up at him. This wasn’t really a great time for a long talk. I was due at the castle entrance soon to be escorted by the guards to my first trial. But the question was like a splinter in my brain, and I wouldn’t be able to fully focus until I pulled it out. “Why did you all act so strange when you found out I was fae? What does it mean? Really?”