by Olga Menson
She was crying now, and I put my hand on her shoulder in what I hoped was a reassuring way.
"Oh my god."
"Yeah, I knew that I had to do something, and that if...if the other person...was not there, I would have been...taken, by them. But he's there, so I'm safe. Sort of. There's more but..."
She trailed off.
"But?"
"I...I'm sorry, I know I'm weird. It's sex. I have sex. On the rock. I'm afraid but I'm so excited. I just want the man I'm with so badly... I wake up before anything else happens."
"Who are you with? In the dream?"
My voice is a little too cold when I ask. I know why but I don't think about it. She flushes, bright red in the midday sun.
"I...I don't know."
She looked down and wrapped her arms around herself. I feel sick for questioning her like that, for being jealous of a dream man. I put my arm around her, and she cuddled into me, all lecherous thoughts gone from my head.
"Are you ok? With being here, I mean?"
Ashley's concerned frown turned to a much more relaxed smile.
"Yeah. I am. It's disturbing, but it's just a dream, right? And...those eyes we saw...I kind of think they were like, animals. Foxes? Raccoons? Owls? I don't know. We never saw them again..."
"I'm here, too. You might be a complete brat, but you're still my little sister. I'm not going to let anything hurt you."
I'm not a particularly brave man, so I surprised myself with how strongly I believed what I was saying. I would protect her, I realized, at high personal cost.
She just smiled and blushed, then hugged me tightly. As we walked back to the Cabin, I tried not to think of her body pressed to mine, and failed.
* *
We were pretty lazy the rest of the day, and neither of us was particularly stressed out. I watched Ashley as best I could, but all I could determine was that she'd grown more beautiful in her last year of high school. Her curves had grown until they almost matched Mom's, and she must have had plenty of boys pursuing her. I was getting hard constantly that first day, and I realized that it did not bode well for the rest of the summer.
Ashley didn't seem to notice, although she did stay pretty close, except for a nap she took in the afternoon. When she woke up, she insisted on cooking dinner. We had salads and grilled chicken with homemade salad dressing made of some kind of fruit vinaigrette that she made on the fly. It was delicious. Afterward, we played some dumb card games. I made us hot chocolate, then we went to bed. All very normal.
I slept well, dreaming of...well, to be honest, making love to my sister out on that rock. In my dreams, I'm free from guilt or social mores. They don't lie to me but tell me what I want. What I must have. Soon, she was crying out as I fucked her harder. Then screaming. Wait, screaming?
I woke in a panic, free from any drowsiness. I was up and running. I stayed in a large corner room, with windows on two sides. As I ran down the hall I passed a bathroom on my left and then I reached my sister's smaller room. It was warm and snug, and she preferred it to something more open. I didn't knock or check if it was locked. I just grabbed the handle, turned it, and put my full weight into my left shoulder. It gave easily.
Ashley was unharmed, but sitting up in bed. She clutched a pillow just as she had those years ago, but her tears were frantic and full of fear. Before I could even react, she jumped up and flew into my arms. I held her as she sobbed.
This wasn't like her. She was independent almost to a fault. She hated being seen as weak, and I was one of the few people, especially men, that she felt comfortable being vulnerable in front of. I gently led her back to her bed and with gentle pressure got her to sit down. I was about to leave to get her some water, assuming that she'd had a nightmare, but she gripped my forearm tightly.
"No! Don't go!"
I stopped. Instead of leaving I sat with her. Before I could ask her what was wrong, she spoke again.
"C..close the shutters, please."
I got up and walked around the bed. The windows were open and had easily moveable screens on hinges. Rather than just close the interior shutters, I closed the outside ones first, and then closed and locked the windows, before finally closing the inner ones. I looked back at Ashley and saw that I had made the correct decision. She was already looking more relaxed.
"Thank you...I'm sorry...I just. Oh god, I'm so embarrassed."
"Why? Because you're afraid? You've seen me afraid."
"Yeah, but you didn't collapse in tears."
I sat down next to her again, but she got under the covers and lay down again.
"Will you stay with me, for a little bit? You can just lay here...next to me. I promise it won't be weird."
Jesus Christ. She was dressed in a tank top that she probably outgrew at some point this year. It pushed her breasts together and showed some frankly magnificent cleavage. And then there were the small girls' athletic shorts she wore. She might not make it weird but my already stiffening cock sure would. But I couldn't leave her. And neither my more honorable protective feelings nor my more lewd desires wanted me to.
"All right."
I lay down next to her, and before I said anything she curled up against my left side, her head on my chest, her arm wrapped tightly around me and her leg over mine. There was nothing sexual in this that I could tell. She wanted to be close to someone and to be safe, and I was here for her. I put my arm around her back, and she made a small satisfied noise in her throat. God, it was sexy.
She soon fell asleep again, her breathing regular, her body relaxed. That made me happy, and I did not want to disturb her, so "a bit" turned in a half-hour and then an hour. I finally accepted that I was just going to have to sleep here tonight. Or not sleep here tonight, as my cock insisted on keeping me awake. That's when it started.
Ashley was moving slightly, and made a small noise, somewhere between fear and...pleasure. Her body shifted back and forth rhythmically, and I realized with some alarm what she was doing. She was grinding against my leg. And she was still asleep. Fuck.
I tried to move away. I really did. I wasn't going to abandon her, but I just wanted some space between us. Or rather I didn't, which is what worried me. As I shifted slightly to my right, away from her, her arm tightened around my chest and her leg wrapped around mine more tightly. I realized that if I were going to move, I would have to wake her up first. I couldn't do that.
I knew that she would be embarrassed to have done that in addition to being scared, and I didn't want that. I also was intensely aroused. I decided to just let it play out. If things escalated, I swore to myself that I would stop what she was doing and wake her immediately. I don't know if that's really true.
Her breathing grew ragged and hot on my neck. Her movements sped up. God her pussy was so hot against me, and I started to feel a little dampness on my leg. My cock strained at my shorts. My intentions may have been protective, but my more instinctive parts were telling me just to take her. "She wants it," they said, but there was no way in hell that I was listening to the devil on my shoulder. I loved her, maybe too much, but I'd never take advantage of her. Not like this.
She picked up speed and somehow gripped me tighter. This was the most erotic thing I had ever experienced, and I was completely passive. I was terrified that I'd cum too. Finally, with a shudder and a deep moan, my sister came. I swore that I heard my name in that moan, but it could have easily been my ears hearing what I desperately wanted to hear. It was more likely the name of some boy from her college. As soon as I had the thought, I hated that anonymous boy.
Ashley interrupted my guilty train of thought by sighing deeply in her sleep, and finally rolling over. I felt loss at her presence being gone but also deep relief. I may have been incredibly horny still, but it would pass. I tried to think of other things, and at last, I slipped into sleep.
Unsurprisingly, I had dreams of my sister that night. I knew that I was dreaming right away because it was too lovely to be really happening. In m
y dream, I was fucking Ashley. It's a blur now, but I remember her being facedown in the basin, and I was on top of her. I was trying hard to be gentle with her, but there was so much...going on. It was difficult to focus. She was moaning gently under me as if trying not to make noise. Every thrust was met by her rolling back against me. In fact, it felt like I wasn't doing anything at all, but she was rolling and grinding her ass back on me. I felt my arm reach around her and my hand on her breast. She gasped. God, it was so firm and soft in my hand. I squeezed it and pinched her nipple through the fabric. I felt myself finally, at last, let go, cumming inside of her. It was wonderful.
I woke with my arm around her. I was spooning my little sister like it was the most normal thing in the world. To my horror, I felt the familiar sticky feeling of the morning after a wet dream. Did she feel it? Did it soak through my shorts and into hers? Oh god, was I some kind of sleep-rapist?
I felt her stirring. I did the only thing a brave and honest soul could do. I pretended to be asleep. It worked. Or it seemed too.
Ashley yawned, noted that my arm was limp, gently moved it off of her to avoid waking me and got up. I kept my eyes shut so I couldn't tell if her shorts were wet. To my horror, I caught a whiff of the scent of my own sin. I stayed silent, frozen there for minutes after she left. I heard the shower start, so I got up, grabbed a shirt and jeans from my room, ran downstairs to the other bathroom, and then washed quickly before getting changed. Then I went back to my room. I sat down and sighed. This was too much for me to deal with and, to be honest, I was worried about how the previous night would affect our relationship. I'd do anything to prevent that if I could.
So, I resolved to talk directly about it with Ashley. I'd tell her about last night, about how it was a dream. I would apologize and tell her, somehow, about my inappropriate fixation on her. I'd give her the choice of sending me home if she wanted. It was the only fair thing. The only right thing, to do.
I took a deep breath. I'd been sitting there on my bed thinking dark thoughts for nearly a half hour.
"Coward," I said to no one but myself.
I opened the door, and to my surprise, the smell of bacon and pancakes wafted up. My stomach grumbled. I guess feeling up my sister and grinding against her had worked up an impressive appetite.
I walked downstairs, cautiously. I had to tell her. Even if it ruined breakfast.
"Hey," Ashley said, a pleasant and relaxed smile on her face, "I was just about to come get you. Can't have breakfast getting cold."
"I..."
"Oh my god sit down so we can eat. I'm starving."
I did as commanded, finding coffee poured for me, and a plate sat in front of me. The perfect number of pancakes and slices of bacon. Syrup already poured over butter. God help me; she was way too sweet.
Making breakfast wasn't odd. We took turns doing it. But she made my favorite, had prepared it just as I liked it, and then had served it to me. We always made each other get our own food. Even if we got something for Mom and Dad. It used to be because we were just being assholes to each other, but anymore it was just tradition.
We were big on tradition in my family.
Ashley was already eating. I didn't hesitate anymore.
"Ash...about last night...I'm sorry..."
"For what," she asked in between mouthfuls. She really was hungry.
"Um, I think...last night, I uh...think I felt you up and maybe...I'm not sure but..."
Ashley laughed.
"Oh, that. Yeah, I noticed. You were asleep, and I was hoping that you wouldn't remember. That's fine."
I sat staring at her for a moment. She laughed again.
"Oh my god, you're face right now...if only you could see it."
"I don't think this is funny, Ashley. I just...I don't want to hurt you and..."
"Do I look hurt? Scared? Angry? Even worried?"
Ash did not look any of those things.
"No."
"Well then, maybe you should listen to me then. It's fine. And eat your damn pancakes."
I followed orders, too stunned to do anything else. Fine? This was her definition of fine? I mean, granted, my intentions were not in any way to do that but, still, a part of me shouted that I was an evil little-sister toucher and should go straight to hell. It didn't even matter that no-one knew. I knew, and the fact that I cared deeply about her made it worse.
I'd be damned if they weren't good pancakes though. As I chewed, she spoke.
"I should have thought of that. I was just so scared, you know? Probably of nothing. And you've been really great. It's not like you snuck into my room or anything. You wouldn't even have been in my bed if I hadn't asked you. And, I'm, uh, pretty sure I may have rubbed against you a little...you know, got you going. By accident. I know that I pulled your arm around me because I felt safe having you hold me like that. I never thought that maybe, you might, um...be a little pent up."
"Yeah, I guess I was. But um...I never want things to be, you know, weird between us."
At this, Ashley smiled widely. I will fully admit to you that I was bewildered.
"It's not. It just feels...natural. You're freaking out about it but are you more worried about hurting me or what actually happened?"
"Hurting you," I said, no hesitation.
Ash gave me that smile again.
"I know. That's why I feel so safe with you. I know you'll never hurt me. You know...in a way, it felt...never mind."
"No, tell me."
She was hesitant for the first time in our conversation.
"It felt good. You touched me, you know? On my chest and my belly. I hate my belly. To me, it's always been ugly, and fat. But you got hard when you touched it. And you pulled my body so close to you. You loved it. And um, dicks don't know how to lie. It felt really, really good to be wanted by someone like you. Attractive, intelligent, muscular..."
She didn't so much stop talking as she let the words just die out after she said them. I considered them. Let them roll around in my mind. I felt a small hope, deep in my heart, but I quashed it. I'd think about it later, but right now my concern was for my sister's wellbeing.
"Well, as long as you're not upset, I'm not. Thanks for understanding."
"Of course. I'm sure that if I rubbed against you, really enjoying how, um, firm your body felt against mine, how warm you were, how you smelled, you wouldn't be mad at me either. Even if...I, um, finished."
I looked her in the eyes, and when she saw that I wasn't upset, only a bit surprised, she smiled mischievously. I returned the smile. Then I said something, without really considering anything but how fortunate we were that no one was here to listen to this conversation.
"I guess we're alone up here. No one ever has to know what happened."
"That's right. I'll never tell. It'll just be a memory we share. Something...just for us."
"Yeah."
We ate the rest of our breakfast in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was two people, who loved each other, sharing a meal, and enjoying each other's company.
When the food was done, I brought up something that was in the back of my mind.
"Ashley, did Dad ever warn you about anything up here?"
She laughed.
"You mean how he got all obsessive he got about us being home before dark?"
"Yeah, kind of..."
"Ok, I'm interested now. What is it?"
"A few years ago Dad had one of his 'man-to-man' talks with me..."
Ashley rolled her eyes theatrically, ever a believer in equality. I didn't blame her, but this seemed important.
"...yeah I know. But listen, ok?"
"I'm listening, sorry," Ashley said.
"He told me that there were spirits in the woods. I thought he was joking, but now I don't think so. He said that they were fairly safe. They would never do anything during the day, and probably wouldn't at night, but you could never be sure. And that they, um, preferred to hurt women, when they got angry."
Ash
ley's face paled.
"You mean the eyes, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do. Did you see them last night?"
"Y..yes. They scared me, John. I couldn't even move. I wanted to run, but I couldn't even breathe. Eventually, finally, I screamed. And then you came so fast. I knew you would."
I was uncomfortable with the intensity of her gaze. Probably because I fucking loved it.
"I think Dad knows more about this place than he's told us. Maybe Mom too. I don't know but...if you want to leave..."
"No!"
"I mean...I won't be angry..."
"No! I'm not going to let fucking ghosts or a stupid nightmare drive me away from my favorite place. If you want we can try to get a hold of Dad, he gave me the hotel they were staying at in Germany. But I want to stay. Especially if you're with me."
"All right," I said, torn between happiness to be alone in what amounted to a romantic location with my little sister and fear that she might be hurt. By me or whatever was in the woods.
* * *
Water
* * *
June 6th, 1985
"We should go swimming!"
It was a strange thing to say, almost alien to me given the context. I was sitting on the couch, lost in thought about what to do when Ash walked in with the biggest, goofiest smile on her face and announced her plans.
"The lake is gonna be cold," I noted.
"It's always cold this early in the summer, but the day is already getting hot. It'll feel good, and we can take a break if we need to and lay out on the rock."
I could see by the way she was looking at me that there would be no resisting.
"All right, sounds good. Let's go."
So we got changed. I threw on some trunks and a t-shirt. While I waited for Ash, I filled a jug with cold water, made some sandwiches for later, threw them in a cooler, and grabbed some towels. By the time I was done, I saw her coming down the stairs. I should have realized something was up by the fact that she was wearing one of my t-shirts, which was huge and baggy on her.
"I grabbed the sunscreen," she said suddenly, eyes oddly big.