I can’t respond. It’s all too weird.
His gazes intently into my eyes. Then he leans in, closer and closer until our noses are almost touching. I sigh and close my eyes.
***
“Jess! Are you awake?”
My eyes spring open and I sit bolt upright, almost smashing my head on the low ceiling. What the hell?
“Just a second!” I call out. I have to get a hold of myself. Was I just dreaming?
I’m alone in my capsule and there’s light coming through the paper screen. It must be morning.
I feel all disconcerted. I comb my fingers through my hair and slide the door open.
“Get up, Sleepy Head!” Zac is staring up at me with a grin.
I immediately blush. I’m going to have to learn to stop doing that. My face has been turning red at the drop of a hat lately.
“Are you all right? You look a bit hot.”
“Yes, fine,” I bluster. “I think it was just a bit warm last night.”
“I know what you mean. I don’t think they had the air-con on cold enough. Did you sleep well? I thought I heard you talking.”
Oh no.
“What do you mean? What did I say?”
“I couldn’t hear exactly, but it sounded interesting.”
“Oh.” Phew. “Yeah, I was probably mumbling in my sleep or something. Dreaming of home, I think.”
“Ah, yes. I remember the crazy visions you get when you first arrive. Don’t worry, they’ll stop eventually.”
I’m not sure how I feel right now. It seemed so real—like I was actually about to kiss Zac. At the time it seemed like the most natural thing in the world, but now I’m awake, I feel a bit sick. How could I betray Luke like that? I don’t care that we haven’t defined our relationship properly yet—I don’t want to get involved with anyone else until I talk to him about where we’re headed. And Miki doesn’t deserve to be cheated on, no matter how horrible she is.
I hop down from the top bunk and follow Zac into the common room where the others are waiting for me. Apparently it’s already ten and time for breakfast.
***
Before we head back to Osaka, we visit Arashiyama—it has a gorgeous bamboo forest with a path through the middle.
I avoid Zac as much as possible. Every time I look at him I feel strange. It’s as if I really did cheat on Luke—and I’m very against infidelity. My first boyfriend out of high school cheated on me—I walked in on him in bed with another girl. They were actually sleeping, but when I saw that they were naked, it was pretty obvious what had happened. I would never inflict that kind of misery on another person. I’d best stay away from Zac for a while.
I stick close to Sarah and Alana instead, and we gossip about the things we miss back home. Apart from Alex and my family, I’m really starting to miss things like olives and refried beans. I know it sounds silly, but when you suddenly realise that you can’t just nip down to the supermarket and pick up nachos ingredients, it suddenly becomes the only thing you want to eat.
I lazily coast all the way home. I don’t have a lot of energy left after the physical exertion of yesterday and the late night out. The others are fairly mellow as well. We didn’t get back from the club until after two or three in the morning. I’m surprised I was the last person up.
The closer we get to home, the more tense I feel. I’m worried about being alone with Zac when we get back. I almost hope that Miki visits so it won’t be so weird.
We get home late in the afternoon, just as the sun is starting to fade. I nearly ask to stay at Alana’s place for the night, but that would be silly and raise far more questions than I am prepared to answer. I blame Alana anyway for making me see Zac naked. If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have had that stupid dream and everything would still be normal.
At the entrance to our building we farewell everyone except Alana. She rides with us in the elevator, but then gets out a few floors below ours. For the last thirty seconds, I’m all twitchy.
“Are you okay?” Zac asks. “You’ve been quiet all day.”
“I’m fine,” I croak. “Just a bit tired and hungover.”
“Ah—well in that case, maybe you should have an early night.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
We exit the elevator and Zac ushers me out. His hand gently brushes my back in what I would normally dismiss as an innocent gesture—but today I feel like I’ve been zapped. I jump a mile.
“Are you all right? You seem really on edge.”
“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” I stop when I see Zac staring at our door.
“What?” I turn to look.
Oh my God.
“Are you expecting a visitor?” Zac asks me.
“Ah, no.” But I think I’ve got one anyway.
“Luke!”
Luke smiles. “Jess! I’m so glad I found you! It wasn’t easy tracking you down, I can tell you.”
“How did you find me?” I’m shocked, but happy. There’s also a tiny part of me that feels guilty, even though I know it’s totally unwarranted.”
“Well, I knew you were in Osaka and working for Starlight. I just called their head office and asked where I could find you. I said I was a close family friend.’”
“Oh! Isn’t that great?” I’m not really sure what to say. Zac is standing quietly nearby, a vaguely amused expression on his face.
“Sorry, Zac, this is Luke,” I quickly introduce them. “Luke, this is my roommate, Zac.”
They nod at each other.
“I might go in and let you two get re-acquainted,” Zac offers.
“Okay, thanks.” I know Luke expects me to be overjoyed to see him but to be honest, I’m a bit freaked out. We’ve never really hung out properly and now he’s flown all this way to see me in Japan.
“So…” I start.
“I know,” he laughs. “It’s pretty extreme, me coming all the way to Osaka to see you. But I had some leave built up and I’ve never been to Japan, so I thought you could show me the sights.”
“Uh, sure.” I’m trying to get my head around this unexpected turn of events.
“It’s so good to see you, finally. Properly.” He approaches me for a hug. I stiffly return the embrace.
“You know, I don’t have to stay with you or anything. I saw a hotel down the road where I could get a room. I know this is has all probably caught you a bit off guard.”
“No, no,” I reassure him. “Don’t waste your money on a hotel. I think we might have a spare futon, because Zac’s girlfriend always stays. We only have single mattresses, but we can push them together…” I stop talking, aware I’m speaking way too fast.
“That’s fine. I would sleep on the bare floor if it was the only option.”
“I don’t think you would like sleeping directly on the tatami. It’s a bit scratchy, and I hear you can get bitten by these little bugs that live in the fibres.” Gah! I’m babbling again.
He laughs. “Well, whatever you think is best.”
“Sorry, I should have invited you in already. Come on, do you need a shower? I think I’m going to need one. We just rode back from Kyoto.”
“Oh, cool.” Luke doesn’t seem overly impressed. Perhaps he doesn’t realise how far away it is. Or that Kyoto is so awesome.
“This place is kind of cramped, isn’t it?” He peers down the hall.
“You should have seen where I stayed last night! It was practically the size of a coffin.”
He wrinkles his nose. My bedroom is bigger than this whole apartment.”
I frown. “Sorry, it’s just that accommodation is quite expensive here.”
He looks at me and mentally shakes himself.
“Sorry, I’m being rude. God, it’s good to see you.”
I blush. “This is so weird. I was just thinking about you this morning.”
“You were?” His eyes shine.
“Yes. I’m glad you’re here.”
At least maybe now I can forget a
bout that stupid dream.
“Me too. You know, I don’t remember your accent being so…I don’t know—different.”
My eyes widen. “Really? Do you think I sound weird?”
“Not weird. Just different. Like one of those international newsreaders on SBS.”
Great. A month in and I’m already one of them.
“Here, put your stuff in my room and I’ll show you how the shower works. There’s a panel on the wall to control the temperature.”
“I’m sure I’ll figure it out,” he assures me. “I could really go a coffee, though. Do you think you could make me one while I shower?”
“Ah, yeah, of course. How do you like it?”
“White with one.”
“No problem.” I hurry into the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove.
“Charmer, that one,” Zac drawls sarcastically. He’s lying on the couch reading a Rolling Stone magazine.
“What do you mean?” I ask defensively.
“Getting you to run around after him already. And talking trash about our apartment.”
“He’s probably tired. Give him a break.”
“Whatever.”
It’s obvious they aren’t going to get along. Maybe it’s an alpha male thing.
“Do you want a coffee too?”
“No thanks, I’ll make my own.”
“Trying to prove a point, are we?”
“No. I just don’t feel like one right now.”
This is going to be a fun night.
“When does Miki get back?” I ask casually.
“Tuesday. Why?”
“I was just wondering.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“No! Of course not.”
“Well, don’t worry. I’ll stay out of yours and Loverboy’s hair.”
“What’s wrong with you all of a sudden?”
“Nothing.”
I see there’s no point reasoning with him while he’s in this mood. I make two coffees and go and sit in my room.
Luke comes in with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair glistening. A thrill runs through me. Luke is standing in my bedroom in Japan! The same guy I thought I would never see again. The guy I’ve been daydreaming about for weeks now. I try to forget the slightly stalkerish nature of how he got here and focus on the fact that this is exactly what I wanted.
“So, when did you arrive?”
“This morning. I found a hotel that charges by the hour and slept there for part of the day.”
What kind of hotel charges by the hour? Back at home, you can usually only do that if you’re in a seedy district with a prostitute. Best not to ask.
“Oh. Well at least you’ve managed to get some rest. I’m pretty tired. We’ve been sightseeing and riding most of the day.”
“Who’s we? You and Action Man out there?”
“Why do you call him Action Man? Zac is a nice guy. We went with a group.”
“I don’t trust him.”
“Luke! You’ve known me for a whole five minutes and you’re already acting like a jealous boyfriend! You know, some women might find it a bit much having a guy fly halfway across the world to see them out of the blue—especially when they don’t know them very well.”
He looks at me, hurt. “Aren’t you glad to see me?”
“Of course I am. It’s just you don’t have to go all weird the second you get here. Give me a chance to get used to the idea of you being around and don’t pretend like you own me.”
He looks suitably abashed. “Sorry. I know. But you only live once, right? I didn’t know how long you were going to be away, so I wanted to come and visit you. I’ve been thinking about you for weeks now. It just seemed like a cool thing to do.”
“It is. But just tone it down a bit, all right?”
“Okay. I promise.”
I hand him his coffee. “So, how long are you thinking of staying?”
“A few weeks, maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”
“So you don’t know specifically? What did you tell your work?”
“Ah, well…” He suddenly looks a bit shifty.
“What?”
“Well, I don’t really have to go back to work.”
“What do you mean?”
“I had some leave available, but my boss didn’t want me to take the time off because it’s a busy time of year. So I quit.”
“You what?” I stare at him aghast.
“It’s all right. I was sick of working there anyway.”
“But you shouldn’t have quit for me!”
“I didn’t. I wanted some time off and they wouldn’t give it to me. You were just an excuse.”
This is a slightly unsettling turn of events.
“I might have a shower now,” I excuse myself. “It’s been a long day.”
“Take your time. I might just check my e-mails. You don’t mind if I use your laptop, do you?”
“No,” I say faintly.
I grab my towel and head for the bathroom.
What on earth have I gotten myself into?
TWENTY-FOUR
I wake up early on Monday morning. At first, I can’t remember what happened the night before. I was so tired from the bike ride that I fell into bed around eight.
I look over and see the outline of a body under a blanket next to me.
Oh! That’s right! Luke is here! In my bedroom. Visiting me.
And it’s totally not playing out the way I expected.
In the few nights that I haven’t been completely exhausted and collapsed into bed since arriving in Japan, I’ve let myself fantasise about what it might be like if Luke actually visited. In my daydream, we would have been talking night after night on the phone for at least a few months. He would say lots of cute and witty things and I would respond with equally intelligent answers. We would fall asleep with the phones against our ear…well, maybe not literally. That would just be a waste of money—but it would get to a point where we couldn’t bear being apart any longer and I would beg him to come visit. He would turn me down at first, saying it was a crazy idea, that he couldn’t possibly impose, but admit that it was killing him to be so far away.
Then eventually, he would call to say that he managed to get some time off work and that he wanted to visit. Or even better, he had a business trip in Tokyo and would be able to stop and visit me on the way. We would plan out the itinerary together and count every moment until he flew out.
I would greet him at the airport and we would embrace like old flames reunited. Our time together would be magical and pass much too quickly, and then he would be gone. Perhaps I would return home a couple of months later and we would pick right back up where we left off—maybe moving in together after an appropriate length of time. And of course I would have been re-instated at Ace and finally awarded my promotion. Then we would live happily ever after.
I sigh. That would have been nice. But the reality is far, far different. I returned from the shower last night to see Luke emptying the entire contents of his suitcase onto the floor and stacking things on the shelf as if he intended to stay for the long haul. Then he wanted to go out, but I was so exhausted that I had to convince him not to. Then he got all whiny when I said I had to work the next day and that’s why we couldn’t just jump on the bullet train and head to Nagano. And also, you probably couldn’t ski at this time of year. He obviously hasn’t done any research on this country.
Where was the guy I met at the bar in Brisbane? He seemed so confident and mysterious back then. This new Luke is kind of weird and creepy.
I study his face. He’s still really good looking. His skin is tanned and I can even see his dimples while he’s sleeping.
He opens his eyes and smiles at me.
“Hey,” he says softly.
“Hey.” I smile back.
In that second, I forgive him. I’m a total sucker for a cute guy. And there’s something about having a sleepy dishevelled man grin at me first thing
in the morning that just melts my heart.
I should really give him another chance. Maybe he was acting funny because of the jet lag. I’m sure I was no picnic the minute I hopped off the plane. In fact, I know I was a pain the butt. I distinctly remember spitting out that expensive sake or whatever it was when I first met David and Hiroshi.
“Did you sleep okay?” I ask.
“Not bad. These futons aren’t very comfortable, though. I thought they’d be like the ones back in Oz with the wooden frame underneath.”
“I’m sure there are different types, but these are convenient because you can just roll them up and put them in the cupboard during the day.”
“Like a Murphy bed!” He seems excited to have made the comparison.
“Yeah, I suppose it’s a bit like a Murphy bed,” I agree, wondering if he might have some sort of underlying psychiatric disorder.
“So, what would you like to do today?” he asks. “Are you sure you can’t call in sick?”
“I’m sorry, but I haven’t been there long enough yet to fake being sick. It’s only four hours this evening. Maybe you can come out a bit later and meet me after work. I’ll show you how the train system works. My school is only five stops north.”
“Maybe. Or maybe you can come back here and we could go out for dinner?”
“If that’s what you want. I won’t be back until after nine-thirty, though.”
“Why do you have to work so late?”
“That’s just the way it is here. I suppose there are lots of kids who go after school and people who go after work.”
“Okay, fine. So, can we go to Mount Fuji later on?”
“Uh, I don’t think Mt Fuji is in Osaka.”
“Can’t we just hop on a train and go see it?”
I know I’m not the best person to ask about Japanese geography, but honestly. Even I know Mt Fuji is more than just a few minutes away on the train.
I’m really starting to re-think my decision to give him another chance.
“Perhaps we can see it on the weekend. But the bullet train is really expensive. I’m not sure if I can afford it right now.”
His face falls. “Well, what can we do?”
“I can introduce you to my friends. We go out most nights and drink and sing karaoke.”
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