Just because she was like four inches tall and all sparkly didn’t mean she could ignore a job she agreed to do. Since I’d contacted the pint-sized pixies to rebuild my apartment after an orc had thrown a car through my front door three weeks ago, I’d been randomly dropping in to see what progress they’d made. The short answer? None. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
I glanced at the safety sign impaled in my front door. “Well, they’ve hung a sign, that’s progress right?” I asked no one in particular because the place was empty, again.
So far, I hadn’t managed to catch them working even once. To make matters worse, every single time I’d called the foreman, the line just rang and rang or went straight to a voicemail that was full. I wasn’t even sure how that was even possible nowadays, but suffice to say, the Dioscuri were no longer issuing me replacement phones on account of my “accidentally” hurling them at the wall.
Having seen more than enough for one day, I sighed and tapped at the teleporter device on my wrist. It glowed with soft white light, humming like one of those portable, electric fans people carry around on hot days. The scene around me melted away, and a moment later I found myself back in the floating Dioscuri city of Lot.
Sunlight streamed through the barracks’ window to my left, hitting me square in the face. I glared at the window and flopped onto my borrowed bed, annoyed. Originally, when my mom had insisted I stay in the barracks while my place was being rebuilt, I’d thought I’d chosen a poor place for my bed.
Nothing could have been farther from the truth since, apparently, all of the beds were arranged so sunlight always streamed into your face after first light, which was at some stupid hour like before noon. I firmly believed that the sun did not come out until well after mid-day.
I grumbled and rolled onto my bed, stripping off my clothes in the process. It was like trying to get comfortable on cement. I bunched my pillow around my head and tried to ignore the relentless rays of sunlight determined to keep me awake despite the fact I was out fighting monsters all night.
This was part of the reason I was so angry at the damn fairies. Since my apartment had been thoroughly destroyed by that stupid orc, I was forced to stay with my mother. This sounded worse than it was.
For starters, I was only seventeen years old. Most seventeen year olds lived at home with their parents so I was fairly sure that this reduced my coolness factor to about normal. Secondly, my mother ran a supernatural army known as the Dioscuri, and I was only borrowing a bed in one of the barracks. This was a big deal for me, personally, however. I couldn’t remember the last time I stayed for even a few minutes in the Dioscuri headquarters in the floating city of Lot. Now I was being forced to live here, and worse yet, interact with them. Ugh.
I was mostly a run away from home and hide type of girl. If you grew up like I did, you would understand why. Part of it was that I still hadn’t quite come to terms with being the reincarnation of one of the most powerful Dioscuri the world has ever seen.
But, more importantly, I was used to having my own space and stuff. I was not used to sharing a dormitory with a bunch of other girls. Granted, there was only one other girl in this particular barracks, and since a good two-thirds of the city was badly damaged from a fight with a clan of orcs, I was actually being given special treatment. Then again, I had helped save the city and seal away the orcs. Giving me only one roommate for my trouble seemed like the least they could do.
Most of the other barracks were so packed to the brim with people it was common for girls and boys to share. The thought of being stuffed into a thirty bed room with a bunch of smelly male teens made my stomach twitch. The thought that they might be trying to sneak peeks or, worse yet, watch me sleep, made the hair on the back of my neck stand up straight.
I wouldn’t be in this position if those little fairies got their stupid butts in gear and rebuilt my apartment. I hadn’t even seen one damn fairy since I’d left my deposit in blood when I’d commissioned them. Literally. The fairies had wanted blood. I wasn’t sure what they did with it exactly, but since that was the standard payment hammered out years ago by the Dioscuri High Council, there wasn’t much I could do about it.
To make matters worse, the fairies have been doing a pretty shoddy job for a while now. The two months prior to the event with the giant, car-flinging orc, were so bad, I actually did a load or two of laundry myself, and if you knew me even a little bit, that was totally out of character. Cleaning was something Lillim Callina did not do. It was right there with cooking and homework.
“I’m starting to think I need to have a serious word with their management,” I said, sitting up in my way too hard little bed and nearly smacking my forehead on the underside of the bed above me. I managed to stop myself only inches from the solid iron bed frame and swallowed with relief. That would have hurt.
As I looked around the tiny barracks, a horrible sinking feeling settled over me. I’d been using the fairy cleaning service for months, and up until the two months ago when their work ethic had jumped off a cliff, they’d been beyond extraordinary at their duties. It was why I’d opted to go with them over human contractors. Still, it made me wonder what had happened. Maybe I should find out? If I did, maybe I could get my deposit back. After all, I heard the gremlins were pretty quick at fixing things, you know, so long as you didn’t want them to install a pool.
“Yeah, me and the pixies are going to have a little chat,” I said, scrambling out of the bed and nearly tripping over my nest of blankets in the process. I took three rather awkward steps trying to right myself before a hand grabbed me by the shoulder and steadied me.
“What’s got you all in a rush, Lillim?” Kishi, the girl I was sharing the barracks with, asked in her songbird voice. She was one of those ancient beauty types. The kind that were frequently sequestered inside castles waiting to be saved by princes.
Her long, dark hair flowed down her back in a silken wave, and her bright green eyes sparked like jewels in the noontime sun. It made her look radiant even though she was dressed in a red, hooded sweatshirt and jeans.
I’ll be the first to admit that when I stood next to her, it made me a little jealous. Being around her when a group of guys walked by reminded me of one of those movies where everyone else fades from view and the hero can only see the heroine. I was one of the fade-away girls, and sometimes it made me want to punch her in her stupidly perfect nose. Of course, then everyone would just rush over to comfort her.
“I think the fairies might be in trouble. I’m going to check up on them, and I swear to god, if I find they’re just slacking, I am going to go all kinds of crazy bitch on them,” I growled, already throwing off her hand and rushing toward the door.
“Maybe you want to put some pants on first.” She laughed, a cute little sound that reminded me of puppies and sunshine.
I grumbled at her as a blush spread across my face. “Fine!” I snapped because well… she was right. I wasn’t about to go adventuring in my underwear. I rummaged through my duffel bag for something to wear as Kishi sat on her bunk watching me, which was a little odd because I was half-dressed. I wasn’t sure why it made me uncomfortable since I was pretty sure she wasn’t interested in me in that way, but well, I’d never been one of those girls who had been comfortable stripping around her friends either. It’d made changing in the locker room absolute torture.
A few minutes later, I was clad in jeans and a forest green t-shirt, and as I moved to walk past her out the door, she got up to follow me.
“I don’t really like fairies very much,” Kishi said in her lilting speech. “They get everything all dusty. Sometimes after they clean, you have to go behind them with a vacuum. I always wind up re-cleaning the whole place anyway.” Kishi shook her head as she followed me toward what was left of the transportation center. “Maybe that’s why you think they aren’t doing a good job.”
Just imagining someone following after the fairy cleaners with a dirt devil trying to clean-up the nearly non-existent amo
unt of fairy dust left behind made me smile. I would never, not in a million years, be able to even notice the dust, let alone be bothered to clean it up. Then again, fairy dust was pretty valuable stuff. I could definitely see someone doing it for more disingenuous reasons.
“That must be a profitable side business. I heard that stuff is more valuable than gold,” I said with a smirk.
“I wouldn’t know. I turn it straight into R and D,” she said with a smile before covering her mouth and leaning toward me conspiratorially. “Have you ever tried it?”
“Tried what? Fairy dust?” I asked, glancing at her. This was a side of Kishi I’ve never seen before. Well, to be honest, being that she was a councilman’s daughter meant I’d usually have little contact with her anyway. I didn’t know any side of her, so maybe this was the normal side of her.
I was the daughter of Diana Cortez, the Sagalie Tyee of the Dioscuri, and Sabastin Callina, the leader of the judges, and still I wasn’t really good enough to “mix” with the councilmen’s children. Us fighting types weren’t exactly encouraged to mix with the “nobility.” Then again, that may have been more to do with me being Dirge Meilan reborn. Who was to say?
Anyway, for all I knew the councilmen stood around snorting fairy dust or doing whatever it was you did with the stuff.
“What is it you do with fairy dust anyway?” I asked, glancing sidelong at Kishi. “And why are you following me?”
“You eat it. It tastes divine. You’ve eaten a candy swizzle right? It makes those things taste like dog poo.” She smiled at me. It was like watching the sunrise for the first time. I shook my head and looked away.
Of course I’ve tasted a candy swizzle. In my former life, I dated the guy who created them. Hiro Hideko created a synthetic “candy” that tasted exactly like whatever you wanted most. People were known to draw blood over the things when supplies ran low. It was why they weren’t made anymore. If fairy dust tasted better than that, I couldn’t even imagine what people would do for the stuff.
A shiver ran down my back at the thought. Maybe someone following them with a hoover wasn’t quite as unreasonable as I initially thought.
“You still didn’t tell me why you’re following me,” I said.
“It took you three tries to get out of the barracks fully clothed. If I hadn’t stopped you, you’d have run out here in just your bra and panties. If something was so important that you, the queen of prudes, would forget to put on a pair of pants, I thought I should check it out,” she said before leaning close to me and whispering into my ear. “Besides, I’ve heard about your adventures. They seem like fun.”
“Fun? They weren’t fun. They were scary and terrifying and I thought I was going to die like a thousand times over.” My stomach tensed as images of being crushed by a giant dragon clashed with those of the Blue Prince flinging me from the top of a building. And that was only the tip of the iceberg. “You seriously need a new definition of the word fun.”
Kishi’s body stiffened a little at the comment, and I nearly stumbled over her. Note to self: when someone is leaning close to you and stops suddenly, be ready to avoid her if you don’t want to end up in a heap on the floor.
“You know how many times I’ve seen real battle?” Her eyes were hard, and her voice made me look around for somewhere to hide. It was like the gunshot that scatters all the wildlife.
Very slowly, she raised one hand and held up a single finger. “Once when the orcs attacked a few weeks ago.” She held up a second finger. “When Manaka sieged the city.”
I waited for her to continue, but she did not. Maybe that was the point. Maybe that was her entire point. I was going to try to argue with her, to say something along the lines of “she should be happy she didn’t have machine gun toting maniacs kicking down her door.” I probably should have told her to be glad that no one threw a car through her front door.
I did not do those things because a thought struck me. Warthor Ein, my old master, was incredibly powerful. So powerful that dragons were scared of him. Like Kishi, he was a member of one of the noble houses.
Perhaps… perhaps he wasn’t the exception to the rule. Maybe, just maybe he was the rule because now that I thought about it, Manaka was a noble too… All of the people I could think of with noble blood were really damn strong. Maybe even stronger than me, and I was a highly trained reincarnation of one of the most powerful Dioscuri ever.
I couldn’t imagine having that kind of power and not being able to use it because people didn’t want me to get hurt. That would drive me crazy. I also knew that no one was likely to take Kishi seriously if her parents didn’t want it to happen. No one really wants to wind up on the wrong side of council members.
To go on an adventure, she would have to get in with someone who didn’t care about rules and had just enough juice to make punishment not really stick. In short, I was her only hope of getting out there into the real world.
“Kishi, I’m going to let you tag along on my visit to fairy. If you’re incredibly lucky all you’ll get out of it is going to be a few scars.” I smirked at her. “If not, well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it.”
2
I wasn’t sure exactly what I was expecting at the border of the Summer and Winter kingdoms. The winter demesne was a forest of brightly decorated pine trees complete with lights, tinsel, and garland. The smell of peppermint and hot chocolate wafted through the air and, if I titled my head just right, the sounds of carolers filled my ears.
By contrast, the Summer Court resembled Death Valley with cacti, the bleached bones of some kind of creature, and sand that stretched so far into the horizon, I was sure it could cover the whole of Jupiter… twice. Vultures perched atop several of the angriest-looking cacti I’d ever seen, their beady black eyes staring out at us from behind their line in the sand.
A shiver ran down my back, and I swallowed. Standing here, it would be hard to imagine why someone would purposely ignore candy canes for sand and desolation.
“Maybe it’s like Greenland and Iceland?” Kishi’s voice startled me so much, I nearly jumped out of my skin. Evidently, she didn’t notice because she just kept talking, her eyes gazing from horizon to horizon. “Maybe the Summer Court is trying to keep people out by appearing to be sucky, and the Winter Court wants us to come in.”
“Like Hansel and Gretel? The Winter Court is using lollypops and gingerbread to lure us into a cage for a witch?” I asked, trying to ignore how reasonable that sounded. She couldn’t be right, could she? After all, who was the seasoned adventurer here! That’s right, me.
“Exactly like that.” Kishi scowled and stamped her foot next to me. “This should not be a difficult decision. It should be easy to pick between ignoring candy canes and venturing into lifeless desert or ignoring hostile vultures for Christmas trees.”
“Well, if I knew which fairies were contracted to clean my apartment, I guess that would make our decision for us. Unfortunately…” I trailed off. One glance from Kishi made my cheeks burst into flames. I mean, I should have known whether winter or summer fairies cleaned my home. I had signed a contract after all. Then again, it was for a cleaning service, not for my first born. She could cut me a little slack.
“I’m guessing you don’t really do paperwork, do you?” Kishi asked with a sigh that made my embarrassment complete and all-encompassing.
As I tried to think of some way to defend myself, she shook her head, sending her black hair fluttering about her shoulders in a way that made me momentarily wish I had hair like hers. It was probably a good thing I didn’t, if I did, I’d probably have hacked it off so it wouldn’t get grabbed by monsters.
“Eenie meenie miney moe…” she muttered, raising one of her stupidly delicate fingers and pointed at the winter kingdom.
Something about the way she did it, made me wonder if she was beginning to seriously doubt whether or not following me into fairy was a good idea. It wasn’t. I could have told her that. Hell, I could have laid out
a dozen reasons why it was a bad idea.
Still, she’d wanted an adventure, and this had seemed harmless enough. After all, we were just going to talk to some fairies about repairing my apartment. This was the adventuring equivalent of driving to home depot and talking to the air conditioner repair guy at the service desk.
“Summer it is,” Kishi proclaimed in a voice that left very little room for negotiation. Still, part of me had to swallow my sudden urge to disagree with her. I mean, this was my adventure after all. Then again, I had no real idea which one of them to go into anyway.
So I bit back my compulsive need to ignore authority and advice from other people and pulled my overcoat firmly around my body. I ran my hands over the hilts of the two blades that made up Shirajirashii and their familiar weight helped ease some of the trepidation I suddenly felt.
I wasn’t quite sure why this seemed like such a good idea an hour ago when I tried to flee without pants. Now, even with my overcoat, swords, and Kishi at my side, this felt like a bad idea. The smart thing to do would have been to let the Dioscuri treaty office contact the fairies and work it out for me, not rush out here.
Still, little Miss Perfect was staring at me, waiting to be led into the Summer Court of Fairy by the badass Dragonslayer Lillim Callina. I wasn’t going to back down now, even though the idea of slogging all the way through fairy to lodge a personal complaint against fairies for not doing my laundry instead of making the guy who was getting paid to deal with fairies do it was patently ridiculous.
“I hope you brought some sunscreen,” I declared with a smirk. “Because it’s about to get hot in here.”
“That’s okay,” Kishi said with a grin. “If it gets too hot, I’ll just take off all my clothes.”
I tried to dismiss the idea from my mind. All I needed was someone retelling our adventure with Kishi in all of her naked glory. Color filled my cheeks as I dismissed the idea, and back to the border.
The Lillim Callina Chronicles: Volumes 1-3 Page 40