As long as it could hold some things and wouldn’t hinder her running, Marta knew it would be fine. “Anything sounds good.”
“It could have a drawstring,” E.A. murmured. “Those aren’t too hard.”
Marta knew E.A. was talking to herself, but now that the project was out in the open, she knew she had to make the “right” kind of backpack. One that she could actually use. “If you don’t mind, I’d kind of like it to have a zipper.”
“Really?” E.A. bit her bottom lip. “Zippers can be tricky.”
“I know, but I have you to help me, right?” Forcing herself to look more carefree than she was feeling, Marta chuckled. “You are very skilled, you know. And a very good teacher.”
After another moment, E.A. threw up her hands. “All right. You’re the student. If you want to make a backpack with a zipper, then that’s what we’ll do.”
“Thank you so much.” Impulsively, she reached out and hugged E.A. She’d done it! She’d made more plans for the day she would leave. She felt as big a rush as she’d felt when she’d first taken some of Alan’s change and hidden it. One day, now sooner than later, she was going to be able to leave Alan. One day, she’d discover the perfect opportunity, find a place where she could get help easily and blend into the crowd … and then she would disappear from his life.
“No reason to thank me, Marta. It will be fun.” E.A. stood up. “Now, you go look at fabrics and I’ll go hunt down some patterns. Don’t forget that you want something fairly sturdy. Backpacks are supposed to hold a lot of things, you know.”
“I won’t forget that,” Marta murmured as she walked to the back half of the store, which was filled with bolts of all different kinds of fabrics. She walked right over to the bolts of thick cotton and denim. Running a finger down one particularly bright bolt of green, she imagined having it filled, zipped up tightly, and hidden in the house.
And though the image gave her goose bumps, it also made her feel even a little bit better. It was so good to have something fresh and hopeful to think about: something far different from what she had now.
TEN
“We later found out that Marie had been so mad and upset about her date abandoning her, she decided to wander around the school until I arrived. She’d thought she would have had thirty minutes or more until we arrived.”
“That really is the truth,” Marie called out.
FRIDAY
Over a week had passed since everything had changed between Will and E.A. But even though so much time had gone by, the whole episode consumed him. The way she’d felt in his arms was the first thing Will thought about in the morning and the last thing he thought about at night.
It had created a tension inside him that was both unfamiliar and unwelcome. He wasn’t the type of man to feel uncertain or live with regrets, but lately, he was. He wasn’t sure how to make things right with her. Or if there was even anything to make right.
As the days passed, instead of thinking about E.A. less, he began to think about her even more. Even at work, which wasn’t a good idea.
Especially since people were beginning to notice that he wasn’t acting like himself.
“So, are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and E.A.?” John B. asked as they left work together.
“Nothing to tell,” Will lied. If he had to talk to John about it, he was going to have to come to terms with what was going on between them as well. And every time he thought about that kiss?
Well, it had him stumped.
“Are you sure about that?” John asked as they headed out of the warehouse and into the bright sunlight.
“Yep.” Will pulled out his sunglasses and paused, enjoying the feel of the warmth on his skin.
John pulled the brim of his ball cap down further on his forehead. “Oh, come on,” he said impatiently. “You can lie to me if you want, but I think you should talk to someone about what happened the other night. It might make you feel better.”
What happened the other night? John already knew? Feeling even more rattled, he grunted. “And why do you think I need to talk to you about E.A. and me?”
“Because my wife has been having quite the conversation with E.A. and the girls about you two. That’s why.”
He could hardly believe what he was hearing. “All the girls?”
“Oh, jah. They had a slumber party … and you two were the chosen topic.”
“I had no idea.” Besides, weren’t these women a little old to be having sleepovers?
John grinned. “That’s because you ain’t married. Since my marriage, I’ve discovered all sorts of things women do that men aren’t aware of. Logan and Harley have said the same thing.”
“Huh.” Feeling so out of sorts, he kicked at a rock in their path. “And I have to tell ya, if the truth is even half as good as Marie made it sound, you two are in trouble.”
Will had had every intention of acting calm and collected. But now he was feeling alarmed. “What exactly did Marie tell you?”
“Nothing much … only that you gave E.A. quite the kiss.”
“I wasn’t the only one kissing,” he blurted before he could stop himself. “I mean … never mind.”
“No way,” John retorted. “There’s no way you’re going to take that back.” Looking more amused by the second, he added, “And don’t you start acting like we’re strangers or something. We’ve shared plenty of things before. And you certainly weren’t shy about giving me advice on Marie.”
“That was different. You and Marie have always had something between you. It was only a matter of time before you got together.”
“That is true. I sure can’t say that I ever saw anything coming between you and E.A.”
He hadn’t, either. “Did Marie tell you that our kiss only happened because of David? It wasn’t a case of us not being able to stay away from each other. It was me attempting to put that guy in his place.” And … said like that? His actions were even more embarrassing.
Thankfully, John didn’t look shocked. “Jah, I heard it was all a little bit of something like that.”
“Gut. So, you understand what I’m trying to tell you about me and E.A.?”
“Um, not so much.”
It seemed he was going to have to spell it out. “E.A. needed someone to lean on. I just decided to pretend to be her boyfriend so that guy would leave her alone.”
“So that kiss didn’t mean anything to you?”
Will couldn’t say that. He wasn’t ever going to be able to say that. But he was still confused. “I don’t know exactly what it meant.”
“Maybe you should figure that out, Will. And sooner rather than later, too.”
“Because?”
“Because I’m thinking that E.A. might be thinking a little differently.”
If that was true, it would make him feel even worse. What was wrong with him? He had never done something like this before. It was like he didn’t even know himself anymore.
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he confided, “John, I think I’m in the middle of a midlife crisis or something.”
“At twenty-six?”
“I’m not saying what I’m going through is normal. Only that it’s happening.”
“What else is going on besides you pretending to be E.A.’s beau?”
“First off, I’m worried about work.”
John’s easy pace slowed as he turned to him. “Why? Everyone says you do a great job. I know you do a great job, Will. I’ve even heard Mr. Kerrigan tell other workers about how skilled you are. He really values you.”
“But I’m still on the assembly line. And worse, I think I’m perfectly happy there.”
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with that,” John said slowly. “The majority of the employees at the factory work on the line.”
“It doesn’t seem very important.”
“Sure it does. The whole place depends on every single employee doing his or her part. We’re all a big team, Will.”
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“I know.”
“Gut. Then you should know that your leadership on the line is really important. I’ve worked next to you, remember? You help all the new guys, help set the pace, keep up the morale.” He waved a hand. “Everything.”
“But shouldn’t I be aiming to be a manager or something? I mean, look at you. You’re designing the artwork for most of the trailers now.”
“You know I always liked to draw. That’s where my talent lies.”
“Yes, but we started at the same time and now you are working in the front office. I know you got a raise, too.”
John looked away. “I don’t know why we’re talking about this.”
Because it mattered. At least, it did to him. “Can’t you see how I might be wondering what I’m doing wrong?”
“I can see that you’re entitled to your opinion, Will.” But John’s voice was full of doubt. It was obvious that he didn’t necessarily agree with Will’s reasoning. “So, is that the extent of your midlife crisis?” He grinned, obviously trying to lighten the conversation.
“No. I’ve been thinking I’ve been stuck in my personal life, too. The closest I’ve ever gotten to having someone serious in my life is what I’m doing now—pretending to be E.A.’s boyfriend.”
John chuckled. “Come on.”
Will did see the humor in it, but he also couldn’t deny that it was worrying him. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m stuck while the rest of my friends have moved on with their careers and their relationships.”
“You’re only twenty-six.”
“And you’re working in the front office doing your dream job and going home to Marie …” Will let his voice trail off. Couldn’t John see how his life paled in comparison?
After they walked another few yards, John spoke again. “I think God’s timing is at work here.”
“You know I am faithful to the Lord, but I think that’s a bit of a cop-out.”
“I don’t agree.” When Will got ready to interrupt, John said, “Just listen, okay?”
“I’m listening.”
“A year ago, when everything was unfolding with Marie, I would have given anything to be you.”
“I don’t see why.”
“Because you are one of the most positive, giving people I know. All of us in the Eight depend on your attitude to get us through hard times.”
John’s words were good to hear, and Will appreciated them. But he needed to be more than just a good friend. “I’m talking about my future here, John. Not just about being able to pat my friends on the back.”
His buddy’s expression flared. “You still aren’t hearing what I’m saying. Will, your life is good, it really is. I’m glad you are still at home. You’ve got a good family and I know they appreciate you being there. I’m glad you do so well on the line, that everyone always puts the new guys next to you. Honestly, I admire your steadiness.”
And now they were back where they’d started. Will blew out a breath of air. Why had he even brought his worries up? All it had done was make him sound whiney and ungrateful.
After they walked another half a block, John said, “Maybe your relationship with E.A. is the change you needed. Maybe that kiss wasn’t a mistake. Maybe it was a sign that there is something between the two of you that is meant to be.”
“I don’t know.”
“Buddy, no offense, but I think you’d better have a talk with Elizabeth Anne. I don’t think the two of you are on the same page right now. And that’s putting it mildly.”
“I’ll go over to her house tonight.”
“Good. You know, if I were you, I’d tell her everything that you told me.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Absolutely. Lay your confusion out on the line. Things might be changing, but above all you’re friends. She could help.”
“That’s true. She’s really good at giving advice.”
“Jah, she is. Even when we haven’t wanted to hear it, she’s given her two cents.”
John patted him on the shoulder. “Maybe it’s a good thing you don’t want to jump into a romantic relationship with her. She’d always have something to say.”
Will nodded. “Always.”
But at the moment, he didn’t think that was a bad thing. Not at all.
* * *
Three hours later, he called on Elizabeth Anne. After greeting her parents politely, he stood in the entryway, waiting impatiently for her to appear. When she did, he couldn’t help but smile. There she was, dressed in a light blue dress, looking like summer itself.
“Hello, Will.”
Aware that her parents were still standing nearby and watching them closely, he inclined his head. “E.A.”
“Would you care to sit on the porch swing? It’s rather nice out.”
He followed her out, pleased that she was looking pleased to see him, too. When he sat down next to her, he almost took her hand but decided he needed to concentrate on what he came to say. But how to start? He just wasn’t sure.
She noticed. “Will, is everything all right?”
“Jah. I … well, I’m just trying to figure out how to talk to you about something.”
“You know you don’t have to figure out anything when you talk to me. Just say it.”
She had a point. They’d known each other too long to worry about finding the “right” words to say to each other. “So, I’ve been having a midlife crisis.” He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, half-expecting her to stare at him incredulously. But instead, she only smiled.
“Do you find that amusing?”
“Nee. I was just thinking that I’ve been having one, too.”
“Truly?”
She nodded. “When I was younger, I always had my goals to accomplish. But now that I’m older? I’m at a loss for what to do.”
“I’ve been feeling a lot of the same things.”
She relaxed against him. “If that’s the case … well, then I’d say we’re quite the pair, Will Kurtz.”
Yes. Maybe they were that, indeed. Liking their closeness, he took a big breath and then shared everything he’d been thinking. He told her all about his midlife crisis. About his job and his worries. Then, he apologized for kissing her in the first place.
But instead of looking sympathetic and relieved, she was staring at him like she was really confused. And, perhaps, a little put out with him.
That wasn’t good. Not at all.
“E.A., what did I say?”
“Nothing.” Looking increasingly uncomfortable, she kicked one of her legs out in front of her. “Will, um, while I do not regret our, um, kiss … I think you might be mistaken in what it meant to me.”
“Perhaps you should tell me.”
“It was nice, but I don’t expect it to change anything about us.” Looking frustrated, she said, “I’m not trying to make us into something that you don’t want.” She waved a hand. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve been sitting around hoping you were about to propose or something.”
“No. Of course not,” he bit out.
Her voice rose. “I might have talked to the girls about what happened, but I never told them that I was upset with you, or that I blamed you for what you did. There were two of us on this porch.”
“I know.” He stood up.
“I mean, I could have pulled away from you or told David that you were lying about us being together. I didn’t.” Sounding even more defensive, she added, “I was just as much a part of that episode as you were.”
Their kiss was her episode. “I understand,” he said slowly, though he wasn’t sure he understood that at all. “I mean, jah. Of course.”
She folded her arms over her chest. “I’m a grown woman. I kissed you back because I liked kissing you. That’s all.”
She was lying. He knew it. No woman who had waited as long as she had for her first kiss was as world-weary as she was making herself out to be. That as much as she might like to remind him that she was indepen
dent and worldly, she also wasn’t exactly full of experience. Neither of them were.
They stared at each other. Both of them were breathing heavily. Like they’d just finished running a race or were attempting to hold back a lot of emotion.
Seconds passed.
She sighed. “Do you want to sit back down? I’m not exactly sure what we were just arguing about.”
“Me, neither.” He returned to his place on the porch swing. Then, because it was a rather small space and he had rather long arms, he rested his right arm over the back of the swing. Over her shoulders. It felt good there. Right.
She tilted her face up toward him. “Will, about everything else …”
She smelled good. She was wearing some kind of perfume, something floral and expensive. “Hmm?”
“Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Everything will work out all right for you. I know it.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“I can’t help it, though. I don’t think you are seeing how much I and all of our friends value you.”
“I know you do.”
She shook her head. “I don’t mean just as a friend. We value your gifts. You’ve got a lot of them, you know.”
“As do you, E.A.”
“I hope so. I … well, I’ve been going through a bit of a midlife crisis of my own.”
“What’s been going on?”
“Just a month or two ago I was ready to quit. You remember I told you that I don’t really care for my boss.”
“I do remember that.”
“Well, then something happened. I got Marta, my sewing student.”
“I remember you mentioning her. She’s English, right?”
“Yes. She’s as English as Marie, and a little bit older than me.”
“And the lessons are going well?”
“They are. But, well, I can’t put my finger on it, but I think there’s something different about her.” She stared straight ahead. “She’s really tentative and shy.” She tapped a finger. “Almost like Kendra was when she was ten or eleven.”
Kendra had never been an “official” part of the Eight, but she had certainly been friends with all of them. She just hadn’t been around much. They’d later learned that she’d been abused at home.
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