by Carla Kovach
They would definitely be checking out her claim. O’Connor knocked at the door, smiling. He had something. Gina nodded for Jacob to continue with the formalities as he announced her leaving the room for the tape.
‘O’Connor. What have you got?’
‘Mr Collins has made a confession.’
60
As I return to the place I call my real home, I hear nothing, not even a chirping early morning bird. It’s been a little quiet around here since the blizzardy weather started. Every creature with any sense is holed up right now. The snow is coming thick and fast against my face, clouding my vision. I can hear something now. The tick, tick, tick of my hot car engine parked on the drive. I glance each way, no one sees me coming and going, there’s too much distance between each property. My mother certainly likes to live in a secluded manner and never did get the trees and shrubs pruned back around the perimeter of the garden. It literally resembles a jungle now, albeit a naked branched jungle. Each one defined with a strip of snow balancing on the top just waiting to be toppled by something as delicate as a robin.
I hurry through the door. ‘Hailey, I’m home.’ I will call her Hailey from now on as she is now Hailey. As I go to unlock the room she sleeps in, a memory hits me.
She isn’t me. She isn’t me. She isn’t me. That voice in my head again. I have turned her into you. I can’t bear to listen any more and my head hurts.
I slam the door to the kitchen shaking the frame.
A rustling noise comes from the other room. Where was I? I need to tend to my new Hailey, the real in-the-flesh Hailey.
Heading back, I unlock Hailey’s door and enter, my eyes trying to adjust to the darkness. I pop the music on again and our tune plays quietly in the background. It’s working. It’s turning her into Hailey. If she eats what Hailey used to eat, listens to what Hailey listened to and sits in the dark, just like Hailey always did when she needed to think, she will have to become Hailey and my past will be brought forward to my present where the two shall finally converge.
I glance at the woman in the chair but her eyes are screaming fear and there is so much blood around her arms. Removing the rag from her mouth, I kiss her forehead. ‘What’s happened?’
She looks confused and screams at the sight of me then she stops as if regretting her decision to scream. She takes a few sharp breaths. ‘I’m Hailey. I like cheese on toast.’ But she’s shaking and sweating. Nothing feels right. The ghost of my past screams through my head. She isn’t me. I want to hush it away but it won’t go.
‘Which Teddy does Hailey like the most?’
The woman in front of me doesn’t answer.
‘What is Hailey’s favourite song?’
“‘Beautiful Dreamer”. I love that song and you keep playing it for me.’ She pauses. ‘I love you.’
My neck prickles. Hailey never once said that to me. ‘Wrong answer!’ I pace back and forth, knocking things over in the half-light. I could tear down the blackout material and the cardboard from the windows but I won’t. Hailey liked darkness and she did until the end where it consumed her.
‘Please untie me. I can learn to be better.’
But I know better. It hits me. She’s just like Amber. This is where it goes downhill.
‘Please,’ she yells. Her crying and wailing hits me. I’ve been kidding myself. That voice. How could I ever have thought that it would become Hailey’s soft voice? The shrillness of it is going through my head and I want it to stop. Shut her up, that’s what I need to do and I know just how to do that. I run out to grab what I need from the kitchen.
I hurry back with a tube of glue and I yank the cap off it.
‘No, please. I’m quiet. Look.’ She shuts her mouth and she’s right, she’s quiet, but it’s too late. I can’t trust her now. I was kidding myself that I could see Hailey as all I now see is Jhanvi.
Pressing the button on the chair’s control panel, it begins to slide back and the leg rest comes up further. She’s trying to resist. I grab her plaits that I lovingly created and yank her neck back against the back of the chair. Its slight tilt is just right for what I’m about to do, like a dentist preparing to examine a patient. As she wriggles, I press the tube of glue. The fast-drying liquid lands on her cheeks, her chin and her chest, then what’s left lands on her lips. ‘Now you have no choice but to shut up.’ Tears spill down her face. A part of me feels guilty as I catch Hailey again in her features but I shake my head. It didn’t work. What I need to do is start again and do better.
I was never good enough. In my mind I see my mother telling me what a loser I am and my hands shake. Now that she can’t engage in conversation with me, I speak and I can’t shut up, babbling on about everything. Then I stop and I see the alarm in her eyes. There’s no going back now. It’s all out there. She knows my deepest darkest secrets and more than anything, they must be contained. I stomp out of the room to get what I need.
In my mind I see Hailey sobbing, saying I told you so. It’s not just about Amber. It’s not just about Madison. I stare at the shed through the window. For a moment, I hate myself more than ever. Grabbing a knife from the block, I know what I must do.
This has to end, once and for all. Her tears are falling but I can’t let that cloud my ability to see this through.
‘You’re breaking my heart. Now, I’m going to break yours.’
61
Madison heard chattering coming from the kitchen, something about what Alice was doing with Tyrone last night and mentions of having to go to the police station to make a statement. The door slammed and Alice rushed in, bringing a waft of chilly air with her. ‘What are you doing, Alice?’ Madison saw her friend pulling a fresh pair of jeans on. ‘Who was that and where did you go last night?’
‘I met Tyrone.’
‘You left me.’
‘He was convinced that his landlord, Vincent, killed Amber and attacked you so we set up a meeting to buy drugs from him so we could suss him out.’
‘You what?’ Alice ignored her and continued dressing. Madison forced herself out of bed, holding her head for a few seconds until the wooziness passed. A little stretch told her that she needed to go easy on herself and not overdo it. ‘Wherever you’re going, I’m coming with you.’
‘Get back into bed. You’re not well enough.’
‘No and I don’t care.’ Madison discarded her pyjama top and flinched as she pulled a jumper over her head. ‘If it concerns me, I want to be a part of it.’
‘You’re one stubborn cow.’
Madison forced a smile. ‘Whatever. Grab your coat, girl. Where are we going?’
‘I’m not going to win this one, am I?’
‘Nope.’ Madison shook her head as she dragged her hair from the insides of her jumper. Alice was right with that question.
‘We’re heading to Tyrone’s. He said he saw something last night and he wants to be sure about what he saw before he tells the police.’ Alice paused. ‘It could be dangerous.’
‘I’ve already faced danger. Count me in.’ Madison dragged her hair into a low messy bun and pulled one of Alice’s woolly hats onto her head. As she lifted her arms up, she grimaced. ‘Wow, I stink.’
‘You should stay here and have a shower instead. We’ve got this.’
‘No. You go, I go.’ She paused as she shivered in the thick coat. ‘Do you think we’re close to finding out who attacked me?’
Alice grabbed her tiny rucksack, the one she used as a glorified handbag and she fed her one arm through it. ‘I hope so.’ Within moments they’d left, slamming the main door behind them.
For several minutes Alice had been turning her car key but the little old Fiesta wasn’t having any of it. About a foot of snow had settled on the roof and bonnet.
‘I suppose we should walk. I’ll tell Tyrone we’ll be ten minutes.’ Madison pulled out her phone and removed her gloves to call Tyrone. The phone rang out and went to answerphone after several rings. ‘He’s not picking up.’
&nb
sp; ‘Try again while I check Facebook.’
‘Still no answer.’ Madison ended the call and they began walking.
‘He hasn’t been on Facebook for three hours according to when he was last active. He knows I’m coming. He called me then to say we were meeting at eight in the morning, at his. He should be up and ready.’
‘What exactly are you both planning?’
Alice stopped, almost slipping on a patch of trodden snow. ‘He wouldn’t say.’
Madison tried his number again. This time it went straight to answerphone.
‘Hurry, we’re already late.’ Alice grabbed Madison’s arm.
‘What if something’s happened to him?’ Alice continued hurrying without answering Madison and she wondered if Alice knew more than she was letting on. For the first time that morning, Alice looked worried.
62
Gina shook her head. ‘With Mr Collins’s confession, all we can possibly have him for is harassing Amber, nothing more and no further evidence to prove otherwise.’ All their theories were slipping away, being disproven at speed when they had no time left. The metaphorical egg timer was running out of sand.
‘We’ve made two arrests this evening but neither has brought us closer to finding Kapoor.’ Jacob sniffed and sat back.
Mr Collins was being charged and so was Vincent Jordan – harassment and drug dealing. On a normal day, those results would be celebrated but now the team seemed more deflated than ever. The stench of frustration and failure filled the room and Kapoor was still missing. Gina stood up straight, trying her hardest to fight her body’s need to curl up into a ball and ruminate. There was no time for that. ‘Jacob, just run through things for us. Let’s start with Corrine Blake’s story.’ Snow blanketed the outer wall of the car park but the road itself had been gritted earlier that morning. Gina wiped the condensation from the incident room window to get a better look and in it she could make out Jacob’s tired reflection.
‘I checked with her again and she says it was a slip of the tongue. Her parents had lived at that address all her life, as had she before leaving for university. She claims she didn’t knowingly give us her wrong registered address and said she kept meaning to change it to the flat on Bulmore Drive but hadn’t got around to it. She seemed to be more worried about her passport and driving licence still being registered there.’ She turned, taking in the length of Jacob’s stubble.
‘Have we checked the addresses, old and new?’
He nodded. ‘Uniform have seen to that. Her parents live at the new address Corrine gave us and the old address has a new family living there. It seems that Corrine Blake is genuinely just a little forgetful.’
‘I honestly don’t know how some people function in life.’ She glanced at the board and three faces stared back at her. Amber, Madison and PC Kapoor. The photo they’d used was a professional shot with a pale grey background that was taken at an awards function. Her face so youthful, smiling in her pristine uniform. The classic shot. The type that families proudly displayed on mantlepieces. Gina remembered her earlier days in uniform and she had a similar photo but it was somewhere in the loft, boxed away no doubt until the day she died, when maybe her daughter Hannah would unearth it. Her stomach fluttered. They were seriously running out of time. She glanced at the other photos, the ones of Amber’s body at the scene and post-mortem. In her mind, she saw Kapoor’s next to them. The spritely young officer, dead and bloated then a y-incision on her chest as she lay on a stainless steel slab as her body gave up its secrets.
‘Guv.’ Wyre entered with a tray of steaming hot coffees. ‘I think we all need these.’
Gina continued to stare at the board. All hope slowly diminishing. She dragged her fingers through her hair, pulling a few strands out before grabbing a coffee. ‘Thank you. We’re not going to find her, are we?’
Each detective was a realist in their own right. If a family member was asking the same question, it would be met with, we are doing all we can, not a promise to find their loved ones safe and alive. No one knew. There were no answers to be had, only a deep sense of hope that a lead would come in fast.
Gina took a long swig of the coffee and hoped that the caffeine would begin to work as she was now struggling to function. ‘The Collinses: nothing. Tyrone Heard: again, nothing. Vincent Jordan: nothing unless you count the drug charges. That won’t save PC Kapoor. The link was looking promising with Madison and Amber – both students, living close to each other, same university. But Kapoor – apart from having a similar hair colour – where does she fit in? They all have their similarities but looking for someone who targets dark hair and not knowing why isn’t really helping us.’
‘There’s definitely a resemblance.’ Jacob took a coffee and thanked Wyre.
She nodded. ‘He glues their lips and stabs them. He’s trying to shut them up. Why them? It’s not them, it’s who he thinks they are, or who they represent. What happened to him?’ No one answered. ‘Time is running out. He is going to kill PC Kapoor, I know it. Why?’ She slammed her other hand on the desk and stepped back to the board, leaving a ring of spilled coffee around her cup.
‘We definitely need a break.’ Wyre sat at the table, head in hands.
There was one person on the board and she walked up and stared at the photo. It was a long shot but they had to dig deeper. His name had come up, he’d seemed okay but had she trusted all that he’d said? She placed her index finger over her lips as she tried to think back to the times she’d spoken to him.
O’Connor barged in as Gina placed her finger on the name. ‘You read my mind,’ he said. ‘I’ve just come off the phone to his course lecturer.’
The tremble in O’Connor’s voice told her that he had something. ‘Spill it out.’
‘The lecturer doesn’t know of that student’s name and has never heard of him. I emailed his photo over and he said he’d definitely never seen him before. He then delved into the records for me. This student,’ O’Connor jabbed at the name on the board with his finger, ‘studied this course six years ago and didn’t finish it. His name was in the old college records, way before this lecturer started two years ago.’
Gina turned, drank her coffee in one go and enjoyed the feeling of adrenaline that coursed through her veins. ‘What are we waiting for? Get everyone ready. Get one of the team to delve further. Find his past addresses. His parents – look them up. Everything. Now.’
The room began to hum with voices as they all jumped to action.
‘Kapoor’s survival depends on us getting this right.’ Gina paced out of the room and stood against the hallway wall as she waited for the trembling in her fingers to pass. It was time to go.
Briggs approached. ‘Are you okay?’
She shrugged and left him standing alone. She was not okay. They were not okay and their colleague might be dead. Nothing about today was okay.
63
‘Go check out the side window.’ Tyrone pointed in the direction.
Madison kicked snow as she walked through the bin store leaving Alice and Tyrone fiddling with the sash window. She could almost taste the revolting odour from the bins as she passed. These apartments were a filth tip, she could see why Tyrone wanted to leave – well that and the kitten he was hiding. As she kicked the snow, she pushed the bottom of the gate with her foot and it pinged open. The frosted window that led to his bathroom was open, just a little. A couple of nub ends were balanced on the ledge where Curtis had been smoking out of the window. ‘Here.’
Within seconds, the other two arrived. Tyrone stared at it. ‘I’m far too big to fit in there.’
‘I’m far too curvy.’ Alice stood back with a puzzled look on her face.
Madison shook her head and pointed to her wounds. A shiver ran through her body and it wasn’t from the cold sting in the air. Her mind flashed back to the night in the toilets at the pub, then the dark lane. The build of the man following her was covered up by clothing but now it was all coming back. She gasped as she thoug
ht of the hospital car park. Through the clothing, the scarf and the walking stick, she could now see his eyes. Her dream of the faceless man in the front row of the university auditorium had now been filled and it was as clear as daylight.
‘Do you want to know who attacked you?’
‘Yes, but—’ Something was forcing her back – fear, apprehension. She gasped and turned away. ‘I can’t do this.’
Tyrone chipped in. ‘You can. You have to if you want to find out the truth. He’s not in. I saw him leave and I know what I saw through the window. Like I said, we have to get in there, see if he’s left it behind. That’s the evidence and we can’t let him get away with it. If we find what we’re looking for, we can call the police. Maddie, if you take your coat off, you’ll fit through. You can then go straight to the front door and let us in.’ His dark eyes had a pleading look about them, like a puppy begging for a snack.
‘Okay! I can’t believe I just agreed to this.’ And she couldn’t. It wasn’t either of them who had been attacked. They had no idea how her stomach churned and her vision swayed. All her body’s responses were telling her to run away as far as possible but running doesn’t uncover the truth.
Tyrone ran into the bin store and came back with an old bedside table. He brushed the snow from the top. ‘Just step up onto this and pull yourself through. Simple.’