What Love Feels Like

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  She couldn’t even look outside the side window in the living room to see when the truck pulled up, because it didn’t face the road. She suddenly felt a bit embarrassed by her living arrangements, and that bothered her. She never was one for showing off or trying to act better than everyone else. She could care less where a person lived, just about their honesty and their heart. Were they kind? Were they pretending?

  God, she had come a long way in almost a year’s time. She should feel proud that she was no longer on the streets or starving, and that she was making her way through life, alone.

  When she heard the knock on the door, she gasped, covered her chest with her hand, and then shook her head. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and then walked to the door to unlock it. As Shane and Quincy came into sight, they took her breath away. They were tall, way taller than her, especially since she wore a pair of sneakers. They looked her over, and she did the same to them, admiring their jeans, long sleeve shirts, and good looks.

  “You look so good, baby. Do you have a long sleeve shirt or something to cover your arms?” Quincy asked, and he reached out and caressed her bare arm. She was wearing a T-shirt.

  “Oh, uhm, maybe,” she said and went to turn, but Shane grabbed her hand.

  “Hello first,” he said and cupped her cheek and kissed her. She kissed him right back, and he slid his palm to her ass as he pulled back. “You sure know how to fill out a pair of blue jeans.”

  “She sure does. Where’s my hello?” Quincy stepped closer, leaned down, and pressed his lips to hers. She cupped his cheek, admiring how masculine and hard he was, but his lips were soft and gentle. When he released her, he gave her a wink. “Colby and Seren are pretty impatient to see you. Want to grab a long sleeve just in case?” he asked.

  “Okay. I’ll be right back.” She walked to the bedroom and heard the footsteps.

  “This place is pretty nice. Never been up here,” Quincy said.

  “It’s perfect for one person. Any more and it would be crowded,” she said and heard the floor creak. Both men were in the doorway, and they looked around.

  “I know it’s small,” she said, and Quincy’s eyes went to the closet that barely had that many clothes in it. She closed the door.

  “You don’t own many clothes for a woman,” Shane said to her. She was standing in front of him and Quincy. Shane reached out and stroked her jaw.

  “I don’t need much. Ready?” she asked. She could tell they looked taken aback by the scene. They would think she was a loser, that she didn’t have a lot of things. She felt uneasy, but before they made it to the door, Quincy pulled her into his arms.

  He cupped her cheeks. “Things are going to change for you, for us, Jade, starting today. You hear me?” he said, and she squinted at him. “Good things, so trust us,” he added and then gave her a kiss to her lips before they headed out of the apartment and down the stairs. When they got to the truck, Shane opened the back door, and Seren was there. Colby was driving.

  “Hey, beautiful,” Seren said to her as she grabbed onto the door and hopped up into the truck. Shane guided her, but she didn’t need his help. He, however, took the opportunity to brush his palm along her ass and thigh. He hopped in next to her and closed the door as Quincy got into the front passenger seat.

  “All set?” Colby asked, and they said yes.

  Seren placed his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze. “Get enough sleep?” he asked.

  “Ehh, it was an okay night,” she replied. She wouldn’t tell them that she kept thinking about this date and spending time with them.

  “Was it a good night tip wise?” Seren asked her.

  “Actually, it was really good. Those guys that bought you the round of beers were pretty drunk and closed the place down.”

  Seren squeezed her knee. “None of them were waiting for you, were they?” he asked.

  “No, why would you ask that?”

  “They had their eyes on you most of the night,” Colby said, and he sounded kind of grumpy.

  “Even if they did, Ade, Charge, and Orlando walk us out, plus Harper’s men were there, too,” she said to them.

  “Good, because some strange things have happened around here in the last year,” Quincy said.

  “I’ve heard some of the stories. We take precautions, I do, especially coming home and living up above a bar. John and Keith are awesome, though. They keep eyes out for me. I’m not used to that yet at all.” She clasped her hands on her lap.

  Seren caressed her thigh. “Why is that?”

  “I just take care of myself, I guess.”

  Shane brought her hand to his lips, causing her to look up at him. “Now you got us taking care of you, too,” he said, and she felt her cheeks warm.

  “I’m able to handle things, you know.”

  “Oh, you think so? A little thing like you?” Colby questioned from the front seat.

  The truck stopped behind the garage and office building. They started to get out, and when she started to walk around the truck, Colby was there. He lifted her up, and she straddled his waist as he pressed her up against the truck. “What would you do if some guys tried to grab you?” he asked. She stared up into his eyes and had her palms against his chest.

  “Whatever was necessary,” she replied.

  He gazed over her breasts in the V-neck T-shirt she had on. “You shouldn’t have to worry about that. Things will change soon enough,” he said and pressed his mouth to hers. She didn’t know what he meant, why he seemed so serious, but as he deepened that kiss, things got wild quickly. She moaned into his mouth as he cupped her breast and slid a hand over her ass. He squeezed and then pulled from her mouth so he could suckle along her neck and into her top.

  “Oh God, Colby. Oh God,” she repeated as he maneuvered his mouth into the cup of her bra and started suckling and licking, searching for her nipple. She tilted her head back, and he slid the strap of her bra off her shoulder, exposing her breast and immediately sucking on her tit.

  “Beautiful. Get a good taste, Colby. Make her see there’ll be nothing but pleasure with us,” Shane said, standing by her side. He stroked her cheek. She panted when she locked gazes with his eyes and saw that look of hunger. He gave his brother a tap to his arm, and Colby moved his mouth back to her lips while Shane cupped her breast and began to feast on her tit next. She moaned and rocked her hips, then gasped as Shane pinched her nipple. She pulled from Colby’s mouth. “Oh God, Shane. Holy God.”

  “Share her,” Quincy said, and in a flash, Colby and Shane handed her to Quincy, who immediately kissed her on the mouth and pressed her against the truck. Seren was there, too, and he pushed down her top a little lower and began to feast on her breast like his brothers had. She moaned into Quincy’s mouth. Then Quincy pulled back. “Mine,” he said, and Seren released her breast so Quincy could take his place.

  He started to lick and nip her skin and her breast, then suckle the tip into his mouth. Seren cupped her cheeks and held her gaze as she panted for breath. “Soon, you’ll be all ours to explore fully and fill up with cock. We’ll claim you as our woman, Jade. You want that? Because we do.”

  She couldn’t answer as something coiled up in her belly, and then she moaned.

  “Holy fuck,” Colby said.

  “God damn,” Shane said.

  Quincy and Seren continued to feast on her and kiss her until they got their fill and she felt limp in Quincy’s arms.

  Quincy hugged her to him. He squeezed her feminine body and could feel how thin she was, yet she had a firm, round ass, big breasts, and toned arms. He noticed her abs were hard as stone as he slid his palm from the skin against her back to her belly. He could crush her—wrap her up in one arm like a vice grip and she wouldn’t be able to get loose. He clenched his eyes tight as that feeling of protectiveness grew stronger. He kissed her neck as she calmed her breathing. “You okay?” he asked softly.

  “Not sure,” she said, and then she squeezed him tight. He locked gazes with his br
others, who were all smiling softly, reaching out, caressing her. He felt that connection, that jolt of a bond they had always shared yet seemed so faded in the last several years. It was clearer right now with Jade in their arms.

  “You’ll be just fine. You’ll always be protected in these arms, with us around you, Jade,” he said to her.

  She pulled back, and he hadn’t expected the tears. “Don’t say things like that to me. Please, don’t say what you think I want to hear.” She wiggled from his arms and stepped away from him. She fixed her top, but he saw the tattoo on her hip, just a glimpse of one, and he wanted to explore her further. He reached out to grab her hand, but she pulled away. She backed away from the four of them, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and narrowed her eyes at them.

  “I can’t do this. I’m sorry, but I think I should head home.”

  “What?” Seren asked.

  “God damn, and after that? After the make-out session we just had and how we all felt tasting you, exploring you, you want to go home? What kind of game are you playing?” Shane asked her in an accusatory tone.

  Her jaw dropped, and she went to speak but couldn’t get out the words.

  “Slow down now before this turns into something it shouldn’t,” Quincy said to her.

  “You were enjoying yourself,” Colby said, straight-faced.

  Her cheeks went flush, and then she covered her mouth with her hand and turned away. Quincy gave his brothers a stern expression, and he closed the space between him and Jade and wrapped his arms around her. She tightened up. As he leaned in close to whisper into her ear, he could feel her shaking, and then he heard her sniffle. “Calm down, sweetie. It’s perfectly normal to be a bit intimidated by this attraction. But remember how good it felt to let us explore you a little.”

  “No, no, not good, but a mistake. I let my guard down.” She tried pulling away, but he wouldn’t let her.

  “No, sweetie, we asked you to take this chance. You’re shaking right now in my arms,” he said to her.

  Seren walked in front of her. He stroked her tears away. “You’re breaking my heart, sweetie. Tell me, what’s this all about? We just fooled around a little, and it was perfect. You want us like we want you.”

  “I don’t know. I’m confused. I don’t think I can let this happen,” she said and then sniffled.

  “Sweetie, today was about getting to know us. About letting down this guard you have up. I know we’re older, more experienced, but you weren’t telling us to stop. You let go, and it was great.”

  Quincy kissed her neck. She leaned back against him. She was still shaking. He ran his palm up under her T-shirt and felt her tight abs.

  “How about this? Tell us what scared you and what has you wanting to leave and end this perfect date?” Seren asked. Colby and Shane leaned against the truck, and she was facing them. His brothers looked untrusting and downright pissed off.

  “I’d rather not,” she whispered and looked down.

  Quincy stroked her belly. “Come on, baby, be honest here. That’s what we’re being with you, honest. We like you a lot. Want to get to know you, want to make you our woman, and you need to let down those walls and tell us more about you, about your fears. Just tell us what scared you right now,” Quincy said to her.

  Seren took her hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed her knuckles. She held his gaze, and then he pressed it to his chest. “Go on, girl,” Seren said.

  “The way you make me feel. It’s foreign to me,” she said, voice cracking.

  “What do you mean, foreign?” Seren asked.

  “If what you say is true and you aren’t lying, that you want me, to protect me and maybe even care about me—”

  “To love you is more like it. This isn’t a game. A ménage relationship is serious business. We know what it takes, what it means from seeing the actions of our fathers with our mom,” Seren said.

  She shook her head. “I never had that. No one…no one ever loved me.” Tears fell from her eyes. Quincy hugged her tight, and he saw his brothers push off the truck, looking shocked.

  “Baby, really? Like not even your mom or dad? Surely, that can’t be true, they had you,” Seren said.

  She shook her head. “You don’t get it. You can’t understand because of your upbringing. Most people can’t, and I’m not jealous or anything, I just know what I know. I know how to adapt, to accept that people have agendas and want something from me, that’s all.”

  “No, sweetie, that isn’t it at all. That isn’t us,” Quincy said.

  Shane clutched her chin. He was right in front of her, and she stared up at him. They all towered over Jade, and Quincy could feel her shaking a little harder again.

  “There’s more to this. Explain it to us, so we understand your fears.”

  “I don’t want to explain it. I don’t want to share it, because it’s embarrassing and it hurts, and I’ve taught myself to handle things alone. It’s how it has to be.”

  “No, Jade, that isn’t how it has to be. Take it from me, keeping it all inside, having no one but yourself to process things in life, the pain, the danger, the violence, eats at you. I went through some crazy shit as a Navy Seal. My brothers in their military careers went through crazy, violent shit, too, and we all could have died in those situations. We didn’t. You didn’t die in whatever you went through. Whatever pain you faced, it still brought you here to Cherry Hill, to us. So let’s start off slow. Did you get scared because things got a little wild with our make-out session and you thought we might push to have sex with you right here against our truck?” he asked.

  She gulped. “Yes, because you’re more experienced. Sex is just sex to you, and I’m not as experienced.”

  “That isn’t a bad thing,” Colby said.

  Quincy caressed her belly and hip. “It turns us on that you’re not as experienced. Makes us feel like maybe we can teach you things, explore things with you to help you to be comfortable with sex with us.”

  She exhaled. “Oh God,” she said and then straightened out her shoulders.

  “Be honest, baby,” Seren said. “Is that what scares you? Sex with four men, when you’re used to maybe sex with one? I mean, did you only have traditional sex, one on one?”

  She stared at them and lamely tried to ease from Quincy’s arms. “No,” Quincy said when he noticed her squirming. “You answer his question. It’s a good thing us talking about being intimate because it’s coming. Fast. We want you in every sense of the word. Not just for sex, either, but for a commitment, a relationship we hope could be like our parents and last a lifetime.”

  She turned in his arms, and tears rolled down her cheeks. She held onto his sides as she just stared up at him. “Are you serious?” she asked.

  So, she was scared because she thought they could be lying about their feelings. He cupped her cheek. “Dead serious, Jade. I’m older, forty, and maybe I don’t deserve someone so young, so beautiful and sexy,” he said and stroked her breast with his thumb as he eased his palm up her side. Her femininity and smaller stature really made him feel protective.

  “No, no, I don’t mind that you’re older.”

  Seren placed his hands on her shoulders. “You mind that we’re more experienced?” he asked.

  “I, I don’t know what to think, because I don’t know what I’m supposed to think about this. About a relationship, about sex, about what’s right, and timing, I mean, anything,” she said.

  “Well, how did you handle lovers in the past?” Shane asked. He and Colby came closer. She stepped to the side and looked at the four of them.