by T. A. White
The place was rife with stories of hapless humans wandering into somewhere they didn't belong only to die or emerge changed.
"Since the two idiots tested it for us, I'm assuming it's safe," Hanna observed.
"Assumptions more often than not lead to careless mistakes that result in death," Eva said.
Hanna looked at her like she'd finally done something interesting. "Very true, but no one ever claimed glory without taking a few calculated risks."
Hanna began disrobing.
"I'm not really interested in glory," Eva muttered, not really meaning for the other woman to hear.
"Everyone is interested in glory," Hanna responded without looking at Eva. "The form it takes might differ from person to person, but everyone wants respect and to be admired for their accomplishments."
Hanna slipped into the water after the other two.
"You should hurry. We don't have this spot to ourselves for long," Fiona said, leaning her head back. "Before long the men are going to be down here waiting for their turn."
Fiona nodded at the spot next to her. "Get in. I know you have to be sore after a day pent-up in that wagon."
As if to remind her, Eva's bruises throbbed, her muscles sending up a signal that they'd had a long day too. A hot bath suddenly seemed worth every bit of risk.
Eva shrugged out of her clothes, leaving them behind as she slid into the water. She wasn't self-conscious about her body. As far as she was concerned all women had basically the same parts, just in different shapes and colors and a year of taking care of horses had made her almost as lithe and muscular as the warriors.
Eva let out a small gasp of pleasure as the heat loosened tired muscles. The water was this side of scalding and almost decadently blissful. Fiona had been right. This was well worth the risk.
"Does anyone know where we're going?" Laurell asked.
Fiona shrugged. "Somewhere north. The pathfinder seems to think it is rough country. He said to beware of beasts. Evidently, strange things live up there."
Laurell snorted. "Pretty much the usual then. This whole damn land is strange."
"As long as she does what she needs to do and gets us the alliance, who cares where we're going," Hanna said, her mysterious eyes locked on Eva.
Eva met her gaze with an expressionless face. If she thought Eva was doing this so the Trateri could procure mounts from the Kyren, she had another thing coming.
"Typical snake clan, only concerned about what's in it for you," Fiona said, scowling at the other woman.
Even Eva had heard about the snake clan—about their clan leader, a woman who'd tried several times to orchestrate Fallon's death. She'd thought the clan had been disbanded and destroyed.
Hanna gave Fiona a cool look. "I'm snake clan no more. I'm clanless now."
"Once snake clan, always snake clan," Fiona muttered.
"The actions of one don't define us all," Hanna said evenly, her expression flat.
Through the still water, Eva caught a glimpse of Hanna's hands, clenched, the knuckles white. She might not appear affected, but Eva was willing to bet the words stung. Losing your place would do that to you. Eva couldn't help but sympathize.
She leaned back, letting her mind drift as the hot water worked its magic. If only every stop after a day's journey could be like this.
*
Bathed and feeling surprisingly refreshed, Eva made her way back up the hill ahead of the other three. They had gotten out of the water just in time. Several groups of men were heading down as they headed up.
When she crested the top of the hill, Eva was relieved to see Sebastian back from his flight. He stood next to Caia, dwarfing the horse as he stared haughtily around him.
She murmured a goodbye to the others before making a beeline for the two.
His greeting was drowned out by Caia's nicker as she danced toward Eva, bobbing her head and acting like they hadn't seen each other for an eternity instead of a measly few hours.
The horse head-butted her as Eva lifted her hand to pet her. "Such a fuss over so little time apart. What am I going to do with you?"
Eva could see Caia had already been brushed down for the day. Probably by Ollie. She was grateful to the other man, knowing it should have been her job. He'd likely fed and watered her with the other horses.
Despite that, she found a brush and gave Caia a quick rub-down, knowing if she tried to approach the Kyren right now, Caia would kick up a fuss that would have the whole camp’s attention.
She was conscious of another of the Anateri's eyes on her the entire time as he scanned the area for threats. Drake, he’d been called by Caden. He didn't seem to need conversation. He was just there, an ever-present watcher.
Eva now understood some of Shea's constant irritation better, if this was what she contended with on a daily basis.
Doing her best to ignore the unwelcome guardian, Eva made quick work of brushing Caia down before moving to her next charge.
She approached Sebastian carefully, stopping out of reach and waiting for him to greet her. She'd had time to think during the wagon ride and wanted to try a few things. She'd been treating him like a horse when he wasn't actually a horse. He might share certain equine attributes due to his resemblance to them, but he also shared many qualities similar to a human.
That meant she needed to be careful of how she treated him. She disliked being approached without her permission, and if someone tried to touch, they would get a fist in their belly and a knee to some sensitive bits. She could only assume Sebastian had similar hang-ups. It was her job to figure out what that meant for her.
"I'm sorry if I've offended you in any way," she told him, speaking to him as she would if she'd upset Ollie. "I don't know your customs, but I'm willing to learn if you'll teach me."
Her speech was sincere and honest, and she let that radiate from her, putting her intentions into the air between them.
She wasn't too sure how much of her feelings reached him, as he stared at her unmoving, his liquid brown eyes so similar to Caia's.
After an interminable wait, he padded forward, his steps silent, before he dropped his muzzle over Eva's shoulder and rubbed the side of her cheek with his. He blew his breath into her face and then pricked his ears up expectantly.
Moving slowly and giving him time to refuse, she reached up and took his face in her hands, stepping closer to rub her cheek against his. Next she blew lightly toward his nostrils, letting him get acquainted with her scent, before stepping back.
Sebastian bobbed his head up and down in a nod while letting out a pleased nicker.
Eva couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. "Well, look at that, we're getting somewhere."
As she patted Sebastian, she let her attention wander around the campsite, interested in who this group of people were. If they were going to be traveling together, it behooved her to understand their dynamic.
The level of separation between the different groups surprised her. Ollie, Jason and those in other support roles congregated in one area while Darius's warriors were in another. There was an ease and familiarity as the two groups shifted back and forth, talking and laughing before retreating to their own side.
The five throwaways were the only dark spot. Their group quiet and reserved. They kept to themselves, their faces going cold and resentful any time one of the Trateri strayed too close.
The meal she could see them eating was unappetizing at best. It lacked the fresh meat from the game one of the warriors had brought down.
They weren't even trying to fit in. Eva knew if they asked, the warriors would let them hunt for food. The Trateri were strict, but they weren't cruel. As long as none of the throwaways tried to run or sabotage the group or camp, they would be treated with respect.
Maybe they thought there was a way home, a path back to the way things used to be. It might be what was keeping them locked in their own little world. It was a delusional outlook, but perhaps it was one they clung to.
r /> There was no going back. The box had been opened; the possibilities realized. Even if the Trateri failed, some other group would eventually rise to take their place.
She wondered if any of the men sitting in that circle realized that.
Eva's gaze wandered lazily over the rest of those assembled, catching on Caden's enigmatic expression where he watched her with an intensity that made her skin itch. She couldn't say what it was about the commander that so rubbed her wrong, but every time she caught him watching her, she wanted to rattle his cage or do something unexpected, even as her instincts urged her to run far away and hide.
It was flummoxing. Frustrating. She was confident and secure in who she was, and he threatened all that.
He glanced at the throwaways and something shifted in his expression. He went from simply watching to planning.
Something would need to be done about them, Eva knew.
Her stomach rumbled. Besides the trail food Ollie had tossed into the wagon before they'd left, Eva hadn't eaten in hours. She hesitated, pulled between the two groups. One representing her past and the other her present.
She should talk to the throwaways, she decided. She needed to feel them out to see how big a problem they'd be.
Not all Lowlanders were painted with the same brush, she reminded herself. Some were sensible. Take her for instance. If she judged them without getting to know them, how was she any better than those who did the same to her?
She started toward the group as Ollie strolled up to her, using a towel to rub at his wet hair. "You going to talk to them?"
She shrugged. There was no judgment in his tone, just curiosity.
"Might as well. This trip is supposed to take weeks. I'd like to know the people I'm traveling with."
The better to separate the troublemakers from allies, she thought.
He grunted, even as amusement curled one corner of his mouth. He knew her past. Some of it anyway. There were parts she kept to herself because no one but her needed to know those bits.
He knew she didn't normally hang around the throwaways, didn't eat with them, or talk to them the few times their paths crossed. It wasn't because she didn't want their stigma to rub off on her as some of those who had embraced the Trateri feared. She simply didn't have time for some of their narrow-minded ways.
“Hey, thanks for brushing down Caia,” Eva said.
Ollie looked briefly startled. “That wasn’t me.”
She cocked her head. “Who was it then?”
Ollie glanced Caden’s way before trying to smother a smile. “I wonder.”
Eva frowned at the implication and examined the commander closely, the insinuation not lost on her.
“Maybe he felt guilty for earlier,” Ollie teased.
She snorted. “Unlikely.”
He’d have to feel he did something wrong to feel guilty.
Ollie shrugged. “You never know.”
Eva rolled her eyes. He was always the first to give someone the benefit of the doubt.
"If you're going to talk to them, see if you can get them to take a bath. The warriors will be done with the hot spring soon." The two of them glanced at the throwaways. "I think they'll be more likely to listen if that tidbit comes from you."
Probably. The throwaways might be part of the Trateri army, but they were unwilling participants, liable to resist and mouth-off whenever they thought they could get away with it. If Ollie went over there to suggest they take the opportunity to bathe, they were likely to refuse out of spite.
"Some of them stink. I don't think they were making use of the communal shower tents back at camp," Ollie muttered. For a Trateri, the words were considered a high insult.
Barbarians they might appear to many in the Lowlands, but they took pride in their appearance and hygiene. Cleanliness was important to them.
Eva found herself unsurprised to hear that the throwaways might not have showered. If these men were anything like the ones from her village, they would consider bathing in front of others as beneath them.
Eva squeezed Ollie's arm before starting across the camp, conscious of Drake shadowing her and Sebastian keeping pace with a lazy shamble.
She shot the Kyren an irritated glance. "Is there a reason you're following me?"
He grumbled under his breath.
Eva shook her head before continuing. She pasted a friendly smile on her face as she neared the five throwaways. One of them noticed her approach and said something in a low voice to the others. Suddenly she was the focus of the entire group.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Jason looking at them with interest as he slowly chewed the forkful of stew he'd put in his mouth. His gaze was alert and sardonic as if she'd proved some inner bet of his.
A short man with a stocky build and blocky features spat on the ground, narrowly missing Eva's boots. "Might as well turn your ass back around. We don't want you over here."
Eva took a deep breath. The sting from his words didn't land. She wouldn't let them. She'd made her choice long ago, and she'd known at the time her fellow Lowlanders would judge her harshly for it. That was alright. She was happy with her decision.
She didn't speak for a long moment, conscious of how those Trateri within hearing distance had paused, looking over at them with careful expressions.
Eva looked away from the short man, making sure to glance at each of the others in turn. Kent, the redheaded man who'd helped earlier avoided her gaze, glancing away as his shoulders curled toward his ears. Misery reflected off his face. He might not be happy with the way she was being talked to by the short man, but he wasn't going to do anything about it.
That was okay, Eva told herself even as heat moved up her neck. It made this entire journey that much easier. If they wanted to ignore her, she'd do the same for them.
Unease stole through her as one man's gaze went to where Sebastian hovered behind her. Greed shone in the man's eyes as Sebastian slipped his nose over Eva's shoulder in silent support.
She'd have to keep this man away from Sebastian.
"There's a spring with hot water at the foot of this hill," Eva said in as pleasant a voice as she could manage. "The Trateri said you're welcome to take advantage of it if you'd like."
The man's lip curled. "We don't need nothing from them. If you were smart you wouldn't let them use you up."
The skin around Eva's eyes tightened as she chanted to herself. You are capable; you are strong. Don't let this idiot get to you.
"Let me rephrase that. You will use the water and clean yourself. You smell."
Ollie may not have intended his gesture as an order, but Eva didn't care. These men were an embarrassment. Stubborn for the sake of being stubborn and so wrapped up in their own schemes they couldn't see the nose on their own faces.
The man's expression darkened, his lip curling as he stared at her. Violence hovered.
The Anateri behind her shifted closer, one hand falling to his sword as he leveled a flat stare on the throwaway.
Eva held still as she waited to see if the throwaway would be as dumb as he was acting.
"Vincent," Kent murmured.
Vincent relaxed, his expression shifting to one of derision as he flicked a glance at Eva. "I hope you're happy being their bedwarmer. After this, don't think you'll be getting any favors from us."
Sensing Ollie's mounting fury behind her, she held up a hand. She didn't need her friend getting involved. Eva fixed a haughty look on the man, raising her eyebrow as amusement touched her expression. If he thought to intimidate her, he had better up his game. She'd faced down much scarier people than him.
Trateri who were refused the mount they wanted were notoriously difficult. Their behavior would put this man to shame.
"You'll do exactly what you're told, exactly when you're told to do it." She leaned closer, releasing the smallest bit of the anger that was her constant companion. "That's the agreement your people made with Fallon Hawkvale. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what
happens when one of you breaks faith."
She straightened. Everyone in the Lowlands knew the price of such an action. The Trateri weren't merciful to those who tried to weasel out of the deals they'd struck.
And their people had struck that deal. Every one of them came from a village that chose to bow rather than fight. Nothing wrong with that, until you decided you were no longer happy being the subservient party and then tried to take what you were too cowardly to fight for in the beginning.
"You are throwaways," she said with a dark smile. "Your own people cast you aside so they might live."
"You're the same as us," one of the men challenged.
"Don't mistake my situation as the same as yours," Eva said. "I threw my people away, not the other way around. I'm a tagalong. Do your job, and they'll treat you fine. Don't do it and face the consequences."
She whirled, faltering momentarily as she found Caden lingering behind her, his eyes thoughtful as she pushed her way past.
"Have two of ours escort them down," he rumbled in a deep voice.
Eva tried not to feel anything as she retreated toward the section Ollie had claimed, kicking herself for going over there in the first place.
It wasn't the first time one of the Lowlanders had called her a traitor. It wouldn't be the last. For some reason, they took it as doubly offensive when they found a woman in the same position as them. Only she was more accepted. Trusted and treated with respect.
Call it envy or hatred, the end result was the same. A foot in both worlds yet part of neither.
"Do what I say when I say it," Caden's dark voice said next to her. "When are you going to take your own advice?"
She snapped her gaze to the commander, fire lighting deep in her belly at the amusement and condescension she saw in his expression. "I'm a tagalong, not a throwaway," she said, using her own term. "I chose the Trateri, not the other way around. No one forced me to be here. I do what I want."
CHAPTER EIGHT
Eva’s dreams that night were full of dark things, scenes that had never happened. At least not in the way she dreamed them.