by T. A. White
"Fuck you, these talks were important," Shea said through gritted teeth.
"And did you get what you wanted out of them?" Chirron asked.
The smile she shot him was fierce and a little scary. "I did, indeed."
*
"Are you sure about this?" Fallon asked his oldest friend.
Caden nodded. "It's the best option. I've thought about it, and this solves all of our problems."
Fallon sighed and leaned back. He looked tired but happier than Caden had ever seen him. Shea's labor had produced a healthy baby girl whose lungs had announced her arrival to the entire Keep. "If this is what you want, then you know you have my support, as I’ve had yours all these years."
Caden bowed his head to this man who had been friend, Warlord, ally, and sometimes his only link to sanity. Things always changed, but that didn't make the transition any easier.
“I never did thank you for seeing the potential in a lostling with no clan or family lines,” Caden started.
Fallon waved away his words. “I did nothing that didn’t benefit me. You had the drive to succeed and no one was going to stop you, not even me. If I hadn’t been smart enough to secure your loyalty, I have no doubt another would have. You never sought attention, but the right people were aware of you.”
Caden bowed his head, the praise from his friend meaning more than words could express.
“I’m glad I threw that first punch the day we met,” Fallon said. “If I hadn’t, we never would have become friends, and I likely wouldn’t be standing here today.”
Caden grunted. “I still say I won that fight.”
“Lie. We all know I was the true victor,” Darius said, striding into the room, carrying a trio of glasses and one of the whiskey bottles the pathfinders usually kept under lock and key.
Fallon snorted. “Henri had to pick you up off the floor because we knocked you out.”
“I seem to remember I wasn’t the only one who spent a week in the healer’s tents,” Darius said with a sly smile.
“Or a month digging latrine pits as penance,” Caden added.
“Henri always did like his punishments,” Fallon mused.
Darius set the glasses on the table. “He still tells that story and laughs. Says if not for that month, we likely would have walked out of the healer’s tent and gotten into another fistfight before we took five steps.”
“He’s probably right,” Caden agreed. “I hated you two. You were the clan leaders’ favorite pupils, and if I could have, I would have knocked all your teeth out.”
He’d envied and resented them. They’d had what he so desperately wanted—a place and a path. Fallon might have thrown the first punch, but Caden had been relentless as he pricked and prodded until the older boy lost his temper.
Darius had only joined the fight because of the taunts they threw his way. He’d laughed and thought they were amusing; he hadn’t thought that long when he’d tasted the sting of Caden’s words and Fallon’s fist.
That month of punishment had made them see past the illusion of their different stations to their shared history. Nothing bonded boys like having a common goal.
Surviving Henri’s mentorship became their common goal, and later, when Fallon told them his dreams, their goal changed to encompass his.
“What’s all that?” Caden asked, nodding toward the glasses Darius was filling with whiskey.
"I thought it as good a time to celebrate as any. We’ve cut off one head of this rebellion, but there are bound to be many more. We know our enemy now."
Fallon slid Caden a look. "I was surprised they convinced you onto the back of one of those Kyren, given your fear of heights. Does she know?"
Caden shrugged. "Who is to say?"
She didn’t. Eva had been too distracted corralling her fire fox to notice his lack of ease.
It helped that he had a face most couldn’t read, not even his closest friends. If he was lucky, she’d never know. He couldn’t imagine the teasing she would subject him to when she found out.
Darius shoved glasses of the amber liquid into their hands. “It’s true what they say; love can make even the most practical and hardheaded change their ways.”
Caden’s lips quirked. Darius slapped him on the back.
Darius was the first to raise his cup. "Here's to what comes next. May our hunt be fruitful."
"Our blades fierce," Caden said.
"And our mercy nonexistent," Fallon finished.
They all took a sip before sharing a long look. The battle for the Broken Lands had finally begun.
*
Eva cradled the little bundle, surprised Shea had practically forced the small girl into her arms the moment she appeared in the door.
A warmth filled Eva's soul at the small weight, reminding her of the Kyren she’d helped foal. The trust and belief coupled with the knowledge that what she did mattered, filled her.
“What’s her name?” Eva asked.
“Rowan Lainie Hawkvale,” Shea said.
Eva peered into the tiny, wrinkled face. “Rowan. That’s a beautiful name.”
The light from the baby’s mind throbbed in Eva’s with the same clarity as a mythological’s even though she was completely human. Rowan was going to be special. Eva sensed that as easily as she could sense another animal.
She kept the news of what she felt to herself for now. Shea would love the child regardless of any differences, but information such as this couldn’t endanger Rowan if no one knew it.
The power Eva sensed in the baby, that same brush of shadow she felt in Ajari and the Kyren, might never bloom. Until then, there was no reason to worry the parents.
Caden slipped into the room moments later, his eyes softening on her and the child she held as Fallon crossed the room to press a kiss to his queen's head. Shea looked exhausted, her hair slick with sweat as her eyes practically glowed with happiness.
"I'll take the position," Eva said, glancing back down at the baby.
"Are you sure?" Shea asked.
Eva glanced up, meeting Caden's impenetrable eyes, his expression as closed as it was before she had gotten to know him.
"I am. They need me, and I think I might even need them."
Fallon observed her before slipping the baby out of her arms with an incredible gentleness. The look he gave the tiny one took her breath away. He stared at her and her mother like they were the only things that mattered, and he didn't know how he would exist without them.
"We'll send a detachment with you to help guard the herd lands and protect you," he said, rocking the child when her face started to crumple.
"You don't have to do that," Eva said.
"There are stirrings that concern me. The Kyren might be able to protect themselves, but I'll feel better knowing our people are there as well." Fallon eyes flashed up to meet hers. "You're one of us. We don't leave our own unprotected."
And that was that. No one except Shea argued with the Warlord when he decreed something.
Eva hesitated, her gaze going to Caden’s again. She drew strength from his presence even if their time together was drawing to an end. It was what gave her the courage to speak again.
“What will happen to Kent and the rest of throwaways among the Trateri?” she asked, taking a chance.
Vincent and the rest of the traitors had made the question of the throwaways’ existence very tenuous. Fallon and the Trateri could very well decide that all throwaways were no longer necessary and presented a danger to their army.
“What would you have me do?” Fallon asked.
Eva had to step carefully. Fallon might sound reasonable, but she sensed she was on very tricky terrain. He could change his mind at a moment’s notice and not even her new position would save her.
She swallowed hard. Her hands shook as she glanced at Caden again. He wouldn’t follow someone who was mercurial or unjust.
“You want to unite the Broken Lands, but how long do you think you’ll be able to hold them?”
she asked, taking a chance.
Fallon’s head tilted, looking at her the way she imagined he’d look at a foe on the battlefield. “Do you think they will be able to pry control from my hands?”
“Maybe not today or even a few years from now. Resentment festers. Eventually enough of them will ally and then people will die.” Eva glanced at the baby in Fallon’s arms. “It might not happen during your rule. Maybe it’ll happen during hers.”
Fallon’s went still, a wolf scenting blood.
“If the throwaways continue to feel like second-class citizens, your rule will always be challenged. Already, some work for your enemy.” Eva was under no illusion Vincent was the only mole inserted into Fallon’s army. She knew Fallon and Caden suspected the same.
Fallon’s expression didn’t shift as he cradled Rowan gently, completely at odds with the promise of death on his face. “Did you know the Trateri have always taken people from the Lowlands and added them to our clans? When we raided your cities and villages, we would take the strong and sometimes the weak. Those we took were told, your old life is dead, your new one is all that is left to you. Find your place. Rise or perish. Many chose to fade, never once fighting for a place. They took what they were given and never strove for more. Others fought for a spot among us. They earned the respect of the horde in different ways, adding their talents to ours. They climbed our ranks, some became leaders.”
Fallon glanced meaningfully at her. “Others became herd mistresses to a creature who resembles a god.”
Eva blinked rapidly as he let his words sink in.
He rocked Rowan as she made a small sound, cooing at her before spearing Eva with an intense gaze. “Now, you’re asking me to wipe away a tradition that goes all the way back to when we were exiled from our homelands and became nomads.”
Eva held his gaze, not daring to look away. She didn’t know how to respond, his words making her question what she’d been so sure was right. There was a certain poetry in what he said. She saw now why Caden would follow this man into the darkest parts of these lands. He was compelling. Charismatic.
“You intend to establish a new age,” Caden said when Eva didn’t speak. “Perhaps it is time for new ways to be explored. Isn’t that the whole basis of your treaty with the pathfinders?”
The Warlord’s expression lightened just the faintest bit, as if Caden’s words were an unexpected surprise, one he relished.
“The pathfinders allied with us willingly. Would you have me reward people who have fought us at every step? Who turn on their own so easily?” Fallon asked, lifting a mocking eyebrow.
And that was the crux of the issue. The Lowlanders had lost respect over and over again. How did the Trateri trust people who so easily cast away their own?
Eva didn’t know but she very much feared the answer was going to be important to the future.
“They don’t see the possibilities because they’re stuck in the past,” Caden said. “Reiterate the chance in front of them. Show them that we will accept those who are willing to make a home with us.”
“Send home the ones who don’t and have new tithes chosen. Ask for volunteers,” Shea inserted. “Half the problem is they miss their families. As long as the villages meet the quotas who cares if the person fulfilling the role changes every couple of years.”
“And how will they get home, my love?” Fallon asked in an amused tone. “I doubt many will be able to traverse these lands to reach their destination.”
Shea waved a negligent hand. “That’s for someone else to figure out. You know as well as I do that Eva and Caden are right. This can’t continue. Eventually their attitudes will become a rot that infects others.”
Fallon’s lips quirked, the only sign of amusement in an otherwise austere expression.
His attention locked on Eva. “Very well, your reservations are noted, herd mistress.”
Eva sucked in a breath, feeling like she’d tangled with a swarm of red backs and barely come out alive.
“I’m told this throwaway Kent’s actions contributed to saving you and ensuring the capture and death of the other traitors,” Fallon said, not giving her time to feel relief at coming out of this conversation with all her limbs attached. “I will reward him with a place in the Western Wind Division. Be warned, we will be watching him carefully. If I suspect he intends to betray us again, I will not be so kind a second time.”
Eva nodded. A chance was all Kent needed. If he could prove himself, she had a feeling he would be an asset to the Trateri.
Fallon gestured to the door with his chin. “Now, I'd like some time with my family.”
It was a dismissal and Eva slipped out of the room with a last searching look at Caden. She would have liked to explain her decision before she announced it. Perhaps it was better this way. A clean break and all that.
Too bad her heart didn’t agree.
*
“Fox? Where are you, fox?” Eva made a tsking sound, futilely trying to call the fire fox to her. The creature still didn’t have a name. Mostly because she didn’t want to get in the habit of calling him one thing only to have him tell her his real name later.
Unfortunately, that meant she was stuck calling him fox until he decided to speak to her.
She’d spent the last half hour since her meeting with the quartermaster about the necessary supplies for her trip to the herd lands looking for the mythological.
Eva didn’t want to leave him here even if he was used to wandering off. This wasn’t the wilds. These weren’t the Trateri he was used to. The people inhabiting the Keep might mistake him for a threat. She didn’t want something to happen to them or him because of a simple misunderstanding.
Eva rounded the corner, glimpsing the open door that led to one of the Keeps’ balustrades, stone walkways the pathfinders used as a position from which to shoot their enemies from above, in the event of an attack.
She ground to a halt when she caught sight of Caden’s familiar back.
She fidgeted, finally sticking her hands in her pockets as she hesitated, the urge to call out to him strong. She stayed silent, not knowing what to say. They’d shared so much over the journey, but in reality, they’d known each other such a short time.
Despite that, it felt like she knew him more intimately, both physically and emotionally, than she did any other. This chasm between them hurt. It felt unbridgeable.
Not knowing how to approach him, Eva took a step toward the hall, careful to move quietly.
“I hadn’t taken you for someone who ran,” Caden said from where he slouched against the wall.
Eva stopped and let out a heavy sigh, her shoulders straightened. They were going to do this after all. “I’m not running.”
“Is that why you’re trying to sneak off without speaking to me?”
He didn’t sound upset as he tilted his head back to take in the sun. She caught the barest glimpse of a half-smile there.
Maybe he wasn’t as torn up about her decision to leave for an as yet undetermined length of time, as she thought.
There was a rustle and then a red-gold head popped into view. The fox hopped onto the stone railing next to Caden, plopping down beside the commander as his tails wrapped around his feet.
Noticing where her attention had gone, Caden said, “He found me a little while ago.”
The fox panted happily, his mouth opening in a playful smile. Why did Eva get the feeling he’d orchestrated this entire meeting?
“I looked into your past,” Caden said.
Eva halted, her head tilting as she blinked at him. “I had assumed as much.”
He took Fallon’s safety very seriously. As soon as Eva had become someone of interest, Caden would have turned over every rock trying to see whether she presented a threat.
“Ollie never told you that some of the warband who found you also visited your village afterwards.”
Eva went still. No, he hadn’t. She cast her mind back, remembering how half the warband split-off f
rom them only to rejoin them a few days later.
At the time, the Trateri had been too new and scary for her to ask questions. Ollie had told her it was normal behavior for the warriors, and she had believed him.
“It’s not every day one of our warbands finds a woman who elects to tagalong.” There was a slight quirk to Caden’s lips as he used Eva’s term. “It made them curious.”
And curious Trateri weren’t used to walking away.
“They arrived to find the village preparing to sacrifice another,” Caden said.
A sound like that of a wounded animal was ripped from Eva’s throat.
“They stopped it,” Caden assured her. “They saved the woman and put to death all those participating.”
Eva closed her eyes. “Who was it?”
“She said her name was Elena.”
Eva’s mother.
“When the warband questioned her, she said they’d intended to sacrifice her eldest daughter. She’d managed to warn the girl to flee. When they came for her second daughter, she volunteered in her place.”
Eva took a shuddering breath. The conversation she’d overheard that night. She’d never thought it strange her parents were arguing at a time she often returned from the forest, in a place she wouldn’t have been able to help overhearing.
Now, it seemed, there was a reason for all that, and the reason threatened to steal her strength and send her toppling. Her mother had fought for her after all. She’d fought for Elise too.
Eva found herself at the balustrade walls, her hands clutching the stone ledge as she stared unseeing at the mountains in the distance.
Her entire history had just been rewritten.
“What happened to the woman?”
“She lives. She chose to stay in the village,” Caden said.
Eva nodded. “Why are you telling me this?”
“You blamed yourself for leaving another to take your place, but it was never your wrong to begin with. I wanted you to know so you could free yourself from this,” he said.
Eva’s laugh was raw and watery. “Such kindness.”
“Don’t let anyone know I have my moments. It might ruin my reputation.”
Eva snorted and faced him. “I’m not good at goodbyes.”