by K. A. Linde
“Amazing and trying,” I told him. “I love my sisters. They’re my forever people, but it’s hard, being the youngest. My mom always says we’re her Little Women. Steph is such a Meg—the oldest, already married, with a kid. Eve is definitely our Jo, headstrong and a go-getter. She lives in Chicago as a reporter. Thankfully, Elle wasn’t sickly like Beth, but she’s our musician. She’s a music major at Georgia, playing violin.”
“Which makes you Amy.”
I laughed in surprise. “You’ve read Little Women?”
“Yes. Of course. It was assigned reading.”
“You do the assigned reading?”
“I enjoy classic literature, thank you.”
“Then, yes, I’m Amy. And my sisters would probably say, I’m the emotional, bratty younger sister,” I said with an eye roll. “But I’ve had to live without them a lot, and that side of me only comes out when I’m with them now.”
He arched a brow. “Does that make me your Laurie?”
“I don’t know. Did you propose to my sister recently?”
“Should I have led with that?” he joked, tugging me off of the ice and back to our bench.
“Probably. What’s your family like?”
“Only child. It’s pretty quiet.”
I wondered what that was like. Even when I felt alone with my mom, I was never alone like that.
“Do you want a drink or something?” he asked, changing the subject again as soon as it focused on him.
“Yes, but let me get it. You got the tickets.”
He opened his mouth to object, but I was already going through our locker to find some cash. Then I strode over to the vending machine.
Ash followed me. “You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s the least I can do. This has been so much fun.”
“I’m glad you’re having a good time.”
I fed the machine with the dollars I’d scrounged out of the bottom of my purse and pressed the button for a Coke. My Coke tumbled noisily into the bottom of the machine.
“What do you want?” I asked him.
But then there was another clink and another drink dropped out.
“Hey!” Ash cried. “Did you get lucky?”
“Oh my God! This happened to me last week at school. I can’t believe this.” I dipped my hand into the machine and pulled out two Cokes. “Two for one. Hope you like Coke.”
“What kind of monster doesn’t like Coke?”
I laughed and popped open my drink. The nerves I’d had earlier in the evening had disappeared. The longer I spent with Ash, the more I wanted it to be a real date. He wasn’t what I’d been expecting. He didn’t seem like the typical pretentious Holy Cross student. He didn’t strut around like he was the star quarterback. I wasn’t sure what to make of him, but I wanted to find out more.
We finished up skating and Ash took my hand as we left.
“Do you want to walk down to the riverfront?” he asked.
“You want to walk?”
From Oglethorpe down to River Street was probably a mile in the dark. I’d walked all of those roads a million times, but I hadn’t expected him to want to walk when we had his Mercedes.
“Yeah. The weather isn’t as bad as last night. We could stop at Leopold’s for ice cream on the way.”
“Far be it from me to turn down ice cream.”
I expected him to release my hand, but he laced our fingers together as we strolled under weeping willows and down the brick-lined streets of our home. Leopold’s was slammed; it always was. We waited in line for scoops of ice cream and then strode down the scarily steep stairs that led to Savannah’s most famous street sitting on the Savannah River.
We meandered the crowded street, finishing off our cones and darting into the confectionary stores, admiring the sugar workers handling the caramel and fudge. Alcohol was legal to drink on the streets on the riverfront, and we had to dodge one too many drunken party groups with giant slushy daquiris. We stopped right before the tunnel as a cop held up traffic on both sides to allow a couple to take wedding pictures down the middle of the street.
“Wow,” I whispered. “That dress is something.”
“I can’t believe they’re holding up traffic.”
“Tell me about it.”
We took the opportunity to cross the cobbled street to the river and sank onto a bench overlooking the water. Ash casually slung an arm around my shoulders. No awkwardness and no one was punched. Smooth. He drew me a little closer, and I tucked myself right into his side. Something clicked into place. Today had been pure magic. And I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else in the world.
“Lila?” he whispered.
I tilted my head to look up at him from under my lashes. My heart was skittering in my chest. The rest of me frozen in place. His eyes roamed my face, lingering on my lips and then back to my wide eyes.
“Yes?”
He didn’t use words. His hands slid into my hair the color of his name and drew me to him. Our lips met with all the sugary sweetness of our ice cream. That first touch sent a slow-burning fire rushing through my body. Any remaining chill dissipated in the wake of that first touch.
He withdrew to check where I was with the kiss. My eyes fluttered back open and looked up at him as I was heady with desire from the power of that one brush of his lips. Then he took my mouth for his own. His tongue swept in, caressing mine and swirling it around almost playfully. A soft groan left my lips as he dragged his teeth along my bottom lip.
I didn’t know how long we kissed on that riverfront bench. I didn’t remember when the world sat back on its axis. I had no recollection of the moments following that first remarkable kiss.
I knew that falling for Ash Talmadge in one kiss was foolish.
I shouldn’t hand him my heart on a platter.
And yet I did it anyway.
7
Savannah
December 25, 2006
“Get bundled up, girls,” my mom said. “I swear, this is the last time I’m going to say it.”
My sisters Eve and Elle clambered around, trying to find their jackets, hats, and gloves. Only the oldest, Steph, was ready, and that was only because she had her own five-year-old daughter, Charity, who refused to wear any gear for our annual trip.
“Dee, please,” my mom said, tossing me a scarf, “find your jacket.”
Only my mom called me Dee. She had since I was a baby. Even as I grew up as Lila. It didn’t matter that Steph was a Stephanie and Eve was an Evelyn and Elle was a Maryellen and I was a Delilah. We had nicknames and that was that.
“I already have it on.”
“The other one. You know it’s too cold for your cheer jacket.”
I grumbled and went for my thicker one. I’d begrudgingly returned my ski jacket. So, I grabbed the hand-me-down that Elle had given me last Christmas. This was the only time that I was grateful for school uniforms. I shouldn’t complain. There were many who were less fortunate than us. People who didn’t even have winter clothes. But it was hard to keep perspective at seventeen when all my friends were on a ski trip without me.
It was probably one of the reasons for our annual Christmas tradition. Every year, Mom made us get all dressed up, and we’d dish out Christmas dinner at the soup kitchen and deliver Christmas presents to those in need. As much as we all grumbled, it was our favorite tradition. We were lucky to have a mom who cared.
The doorbell rang suddenly.
“Who is that on Christmas?” my mom asked. “Dee, can you get that?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
I yanked the door open, tucking my hat into my pocket. My gasp must have been audible since the rustling in the background grew silent as I found Ash Talmadge in a suit on my doorstep.
“Ash, hey. What are you doing here?”
“Dee!” my mother said. “Invite the nice boy inside.”
I breathed deeply and opened the door wider. “Why don’t you come in?”
“Sure. I d
idn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s fine,” I told him quickly.
We’d hung out as much as we could since school had gotten out. I had work and dance, and he had work, so it wasn’t as much as either of us wanted. Not by a long shot. But he hadn’t said he was coming over on Christmas.
“Who is this, Lila?” my sister Eve asked.
“Sorry. This is Ash. Ash, this is my family.” I pointed out each of my sisters, who answered excitedly at the prospect of me having a boy over. I never would have invited him in if I could have helped it.
“Pleasure to meet you all. I’ve heard so much about you,” Ash said.
“Dee didn’t mention she had a boyfriend,” Steph said.
“Why don’t we give them a moment of privacy?” my mom said as she saw my face turning beet red.
“We’ll go to my room,” I said quickly.
“Sure, honey.”
Elle and Eve shared a look as I passed them. I fought the urge to punch them. I took Ash’s hand and hurried him back to my room. I hadn’t thought this through. Ash had never been to my house, and I definitely hadn’t picked up. It was a Christmas mess. All of my presents covered my bed, and clothes were strewn on the floor.
“Sorry about this,” I said, hastily hiding bras and kicking clothes out of the way.
“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have barged in like this.”
“I thought you were with your family all day.”
“I am. I can’t stay long. We’re on our way to Christmas mass,” Ash explained. “I wanted to drop off your Christmas present.”
“We weren’t exchanging gifts until tomorrow.”
Ash’s dad was going back to work right after Christmas. Something about building character again. His mom had some kind of event planning meetings, and he’d be free most of the afternoon.
“I know, but …” He shrugged and passed me a messily wrapped gift. “I wanted to give it to you today.”
“You shouldn’t have. I don’t have yours wrapped.”
“Tomorrow is still on,” he assured me.
I flushed. “All right.”
“Just open it, Lila.”
I tore open the Christmas wrapping paper, letting it fall to my floor. I turned the gift over in my hand. It was a copy of Little Women. A leather-bound copy with deckled edges and a red ribbon to mark my place.
My heart stuttered. I pressed the beautiful book to my chest. “Ash,” I whispered. My gaze rose to his with a vulnerable smile on my lips. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“It felt fitting.”
“It is. Thank you.”
He pressed a kiss to my lips. I wanted to cling to him. I wanted to keep him here forever. I certainly didn’t want him to go after something so thoughtful.
But then he withdrew. “As much as I’d love to stay, I have to get to mass.”
“Of course. Thank you so much. I love it.”
He kissed me again as if he couldn’t get enough either. “Read the inscription after I’m gone.”
Then, he disappeared from my bedroom. I could hear the farewells to my mom and sisters. The laughter as they tittered about his appearance. I opened the book and found Ash’s clear handwriting on the inside cover.
Merry Christmas, Lila.
* * *
Always your Laurie,
Ash
8
Savannah
January 8, 2007
The whispers about the ski trip were everywhere on that first day back. Luckily, I only had my last class of the day with Shelly. So, I didn’t have to face her until Spanish.
She had a smirk on her face as I stepped into the classroom. She must have known that I’d heard and was waiting for my reaction. My seat in the front row was unoccupied, but she’d taken the seat behind me. I could have chosen a different seat, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction.
I dropped my bag and plopped down, immediately swiveling in my seat. I plastered a smile on my face. “How was break, Shelly?”
“Amazing actually.” She arched an eyebrow.
“That’s so good to hear. Mine ended up being incredible. Blessing in disguise that you ended up having to cancel the ski trip.”
Then, I whipped back around before she could say anything else as Señora Chin began the lesson. I could practically feel her seething behind me, but I made sure not to turn around once. She had thought that she’d gotten the better of me by uninviting me to her ski trip. Well, I’d gotten something Ash out of the mix.
Once the class was over and Señora Chin handed out our first assignment of the new semester, I discreetly pulled out my phone to check for messages. Josie had sent me a series of blurry selfies with an I miss you attached.
“Delilah,” Shelly said with a fake smile. “Walk with me.”
“Sure,” I said, tucking away my phone. “You have to tell me everything about break.”
“Of course. Tell me about yours.” She eyed me curiously. “What did you get up to?”
“I mostly worked at the dance studio, but I had a three hour pointe intensive. Plus, I worked on my tumbling. I think my back handspring is where it needs to be for competitions this semester.”
“That’s so good. I know you’ve been working on them.”
We exited the broad double doors of the school. Shelly’s Lexus was always parked in the first spot. She’d even chalked her name onto it at the beginning of the year, so everyone knew who it belonged to. I only lived a few blocks over. So, I always walked, even in the cold while wearing my pleated Catholic school girl uniform.
She pulled me to a stop after we stepped outside. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, Delilah, but I ended up going skiing.”
“Oh,” I said, my face carefully blank.
“Yeah. Actually, like, a few football players came with us, and it kind of got out of hand. I don’t think it would have been your scene. Lots of drinking and sex, and I know … you’re a virgin.”
“Ah.”
I tried to keep from laughing. She was going to try to claim that she had done this to me because I was a virgin and I’d have been uncomfortable. And while … maybe I would have been uneasy with everyone naked and drunk, I still would have gone. Not that I wanted to be involved with any of that anymore. I’d been wasting my time trying to befriend Shelly and the other cheerleaders. I had Marley and Josie, and I didn’t need people who would treat me like this. Didn’t stop it from hurting, unfortunately.
“You understand, right?”
“Sure,” I said. “I understand.”
“Oh good.” Her smile brightened even wider.
She thought that she’d gotten away with it and that I was just going to let her hurt me.
“I mean, if you hadn’t uninvited me to your ski trip, then I never would be dating Ash now.”
Shelly blinked. “What?”
“I’m dating Ash Talmadge.”
“You mean you went on a date with Ash?”
“Well, yeah, like a dozen over break.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“We spent all break together. He took me out on his parents’ yacht for New Year’s.” I smiled daringly.
She assessed me carefully as if trying to put the pieces together. She was silent a full beat before finally saying, “His parents don’t let him date.”
I shrugged. Not that I wanted to let Shelly get to me. Because I actually hadn’t met Ash’s parents the month that we spent together. We always met after work or over at my place or down on the riverfront. Stolen meetings and kisses and lust. But even if his parents didn’t let him date or they didn’t know about me … it didn’t mean we weren’t dating.
“You didn’t know that, did you?” She smirked that same look she’d given me in the classroom. “Spent all break with him, and he never mentioned that he just likes to fuck and move on because, otherwise, his parents won’t let him see anyone?”
“Doesn’t seem to matter.”
“And he took you on
the yacht,” Shelly said with a laugh. “Are you still a virgin after a month spent with Ash Talmadge?”
I glared at her. “That’s none of your business.”
She snickered. “Maybe you should have come with me. Ash isn’t exactly gentle with hearts when he decides to break them.”
I was not going to have her ruin my best memory of break. New Year’s on the water had been a dream come true. Ash had made a move, but it absolutely had not been like what Shelly was talking about. And when I told him I wasn’t ready, he didn’t push it. He said we could go as slow as I wanted, and he’d meant it.
“Just because he didn’t care about you or how he handled your heart,” I said as I headed toward the stairs, “doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about me.”
Shelly followed me. “Delilah, I say this as someone who likes you … you should watch out for him.”
Just then, a Mercedes pulled up to the front of the school. The passenger window rolled down, and Ash Talmadge leaned toward it.
“Lila!”
I grinned with my heart full to bursting. All thoughts of Shelly Thomas fleeing my mind.
“Get in. I’ll take you home.”
I smiled at Shelly. Her lips were pursed at the sight. “Thanks for the advice.”
Then, I dashed down the front steps of the school and into Ash’s car. Shelly crossed her arms over her white button-up and navy-blue blazer and watched us with inscrutable eyes. I didn’t know whether she was planning revenge or what, but I’d won this round.
Ash waved to Shelly as he pulled away. She twirled her fingers at him and raised her eyebrow before he drove out of sight.
I rocked back into the leather seat and blew out a harsh breath. “I stood my ground against Shelly Thomas.”
“What happened? Was she a bitch about the ski trip?”
“Yeah. She said she did it because I was a virgin and couldn’t have handled it.” I rolled my eyes.
“Classic Shelly switch.”
“She said something else interesting though,” I said, cutting him a glance. He looked so cute in his uniform—khakis, white button-up, blue blazer, and his favorite Ray-Bans.