If only this was not the last time they joined. He knew he’d lied when he’d told her that he accepted her conditions. He wanted so much more than one night. He wanted her regard and her trust. He wanted her to explain why she’d left her beloved son and come on this journey, why her promise to her late husband still drove her. And until she did, he knew he could never hope to convince her to give them a chance.
Chapter Thirteen
Cynehild sat bolt upright. Her under-gown was tangled about her legs and places she’d considered long dead ached. It took her several heartbeats to orientate herself. Kal’s breathing was even and his arm was flung about her, holding her against his nakedness.
She whispered a small prayer of thanks that it had been dark and he’d been spared the full horror of her body with its network of silver scars from her pregnancy and her overly generous curves. She was under no illusions. She knew that she had passed her best.
She lay still for a few heartbeats, drinking in his scent and revelling in the way she felt—as if she could accomplish anything. Except she had no real idea of how to proceed. Since she’d been young, she’d always had a plan, a mental list of what she wanted to accomplish. Today, she had nothing.
The room had become marginally lighter and she knew dawn must be near. She listened, but the sounds in the hall were muffled. She suspected there would be a late start to the day after last night’s feast. Few people would be about. It would be her best chance to investigate the church and discover where Leofwine had hidden the gold.
She meant what she’d said last night—she didn’t require Kal’s gold. She wanted the gold her late husband had left for their son because of what it represented.
She rapidly removed Kal’s hand. He mumbled something indistinct but remained asleep. In the faint light he appeared impossibly handsome, and she knew she’d lied to herself last night—one night with him was not going to be enough. Her desire for his touch remained as strong as ever.
It would be easy to believe that somehow they could make something of this—except she had other responsibilities. How could she ask him to look after her son, a boy whose presence might cause difficulties for him? People might whisper that she’d married him just so that her son could reclaim these lands. And would Kal even be willing to train Wulfgar, knowing whose son he was? She could not leave her son behind in Baelle Heale. Her child was the most important part of her.
She quickly dressed. Back in her travelling clothes, she felt like the woman she knew she was, rather than this mysterious being who had made love with Kal far into the night.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered, shutting the door with a click. ‘Sometimes things can only be right temporarily, and this is one of them. I need to start thinking with my brain, instead of other parts of me. I need to remember what and who is important.’ She closed her eyes, holding her breath. When her stomach had settled, she released it. ‘I can do what is required of me. And I will do it. Now.’
Grey-rose streaks painted the sky when Cynehild entered the ruined church which stood a little way from the new hall. It was the only building in the entire complex which was made from stone rather than from wood. Several of the stones were carved with Latin phrases. The door had been pulled off its hinges.
Inside, a small altar had been set up at one end, but it was clear from the muddy puddles and bird droppings that the church was seldom used these days. A faint musty scent clung to it. However, someone had recently left a small bouquet of spring flowers beside the altar—a sign that not everyone had forgotten what this place had been used for.
Cynehild cleared the dead leaves from its top and placed the bouquet in the centre.
Once this building had been at the centre of life on the estate, where incense had burned and the murmurs of priests had been heard, particularly in the early morning. Now all was deathly silent.
She went and knelt in front of the altar, asking forgiveness. For what, she wasn’t entirely sure—last night’s pleasure or the fact that she was here under false pretences and about to rob a man who had been nothing but kind to her. She suspected it hardly mattered. All she knew was that she’d made her promise and she needed to hold true to it. But the thought didn’t make her task any easier.
When her knees began to ache, she stood, dusted her hands off and began her search.
Leofwine had sworn that when she was in front of the altar, laying his sword, she would be able to tell from the way the statue of the Virgin Mary was placed where he’d secreted the hoard of gold. She’d presumed he meant under the flagstones, in front of the altar, but now, being in this place, she was no longer certain. And the statue had vanished, taking with it its vital clue.
Her heart sank. Did that mean the gold had gone as well and she’d endured all this for nothing? Had Leofwine’s request truly been all about ensuring Wulfgar reclaimed these lands?
She went down on her hands and knees, feeling about on the flagstone floor, trying to discover a tiny carving to which the statue must have been pointing. If she could find that, she’d discover Leofwine’s hiding place.
All the while she kept thinking that she’d come too far just to lose everything.
One of the flagstones slipped slightly. She feverishly dug with her fingers, trying to get a better grip on the stone. This had to be the one.
And then her hands stilled on the cold rock.
It was one thing to think about an unknown jaarl she was taking the gold from, and quite another thing to consider it was Kal—the man who had restored prosperity to this place.
She placed her hands flat on the stone. She was going about this the wrong way. She needed to confess her mission to Kal and ask him for his help. He owed her a life debt. More than that, she liked him and respected what he’d done here. She couldn’t stand the thought of him looking at her with hatred or disgust—not after he’d encouraged her to believe in her own abilities.
In that breath, she hated Leofwine for giving her this task, Kal for being decent and not the power-hungry Deniscan jaarl she had considered him to be, and most of all herself, for thinking she could do this.
She couldn’t. She had to tell Kal the truth and decide the way forward with him. She had to hope he’d see why she’d done it and why she’d kept her quest a secret.
A calm serenity swept over her.
‘I wondered when you would come here today. I had a bet with my husband about it. Before breakfast, I said. I do like being correct.’
Toka’s precise nasal whine echoed in the deserted building.
Cynehild froze. Her hands carefully eased the stone back into place. ‘Is there anything wrong with me coming here?’
‘Not in the slightest. I just knew you would—and I reckon Icebeard knows it as well, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.’
Cynehild took her hands away from the stone. Toka could have no idea why she was there...what she was looking for. No one knew. Leofwine had sworn that no one else knew.
When she trusted her breathing, Cynehild forced her legs to stand and turned to face the woman. She felt amazingly calm and serene.
‘I was at prayer. Is it surprising that I should wish to pray in my old church? A pity it has seen so much trouble since I last worshipped here.’
A tiny smile played on Toka’s thin lips. ‘If you ask him, I’m sure Icebeard will remake this place for you. He seemed quite besotted with you last night. But I have seen such obsessions come and go.’ She fluffed her hair. ‘I’ve often asked myself—why doesn’t he remarry? It would make life much simpler for everyone. But he never has. My sister was going to leave him after the baby came and make something of herself. We even had the right warrior lined up for her—someone who knew how the world worked and who had prospects. Except she died.’
‘Kal has proved your prediction wrong. He has made something of his life.’
Toka’s face contorted
. ‘Ranka despised him. After a short while she knew there was no good in him.’
Cynehild pressed her lips together. Her heart broke for Kal. She’d witnessed his grief and guilt over his wife and child. His late wife, if her spiteful sister was to be believed, hadn’t deserved any of it.
‘That was her sorrow, then. I’ve seen his decency and honour.’ She made the smallest of curtsies.
‘You simply mistake his intentions. He is playing a game with you because he requires something. I know him better than you do, and I’ve never seen his so-called honour.’ Toka’s mouth twisted. ‘You’re a naive fool if you believe otherwise. But I hear he is good in bed, so maybe that is all a lonely widow needs.’
Cynehild took several deep breaths and allowed the woman’s words to flow over her. If she started shouting Toka would have won a small victory, and she wasn’t minded to allow her to win even that.
‘I’m not in the habit of discussing my sleeping arrangements with strangers.’ She forced a smile. ‘I’m sure you’ll understand my reasoning. Do you go explaining to everyone who asks where your husband slept last night?’
Two bright spots appeared on Toka’s pale cheeks and she suddenly developed a great interest in the various objects which hung from her belt. ‘Very wise.’
Cynehild forced her back to stay straight. She gestured towards the faded bouquet. ‘Part of the reason Icebeard seeks to marry me is to unite our two communities. Refurbishing this church will demonstrate that he respects mine.’
‘That doesn’t sound like him—discussing anything with a woman.’
Cynehild edged away from the stone. ‘You’d be surprised. He is very easy to talk to. It is why I shall always treasure the time we spent alone before we arrived here.’
‘He can be single-minded when he desires something. My sister discovered that to her cost.’
‘If you think so little of him, why do you remain in this place? Surely your husband has lands of his own.’ She waited with bated breath to see if the woman took the bait.
The woman gave a half shrug and toyed with her belt. ‘They say that the former lord—your late husband—hid a veritable fortune before he left. In this very church. Did you know that? Or did he keep that piece of information to himself? What do you truly want here, Lady Cynehild?’
Cynehild concentrated on the fading flowers. A rumour. She should have considered that. And any number of people could have spied Leofwine when he’d buried the gold in this church, despite him swearing otherwise.
‘You mustn’t believe everything you hear. I know I don’t.’ Cynehild gave a decided nod. ‘Particularly rumours whose source is so vague. “They” are always saying things which are false.’
‘Icebeard and my husband have spent time searching for it but never found anything. I swear Icebeard must have lifted every stone in this building looking for it—but then he lusts after gold. It is why he wears so much of it. He has it now, but he didn’t have any when my poor sister required it.’
Sweat started to pool at the base of Cynehild’s neck. She knew Toka wanted to frighten her and she had to resist the urge to flee. Toka considered her to be a frivolous woman with barely any thoughts in her head. Why was it that some women thought so little of other women?
‘Kal hasn’t asked me about any gold which my late husband might have hidden.’ Cynehild forced a quick smile. ‘We’ve been busy with other things. You can understand how it is...particularly when you meet your soul friend.’
Soul friend—that was a good way to describe Kal and the way she felt about him. She didn’t love Leofwine any less. It was more as if her heart had grown and could accommodate Kal as well.
‘What will you tell him when he asks? He is bound to,’ said Toka.
‘That I came here to lay my husband’s sword at the feet of his ancestors and fulfil my promise to him in that way.’ Cynehild gestured with her hand. ‘I suspect my husband had a romantic notion that somehow the people would see the affection he held them in and would then offer some affection to my son. I am afraid I’m far more hard-headed than that—I am here to carry out my husband’s request, but my son remains elsewhere, safe.’
‘And your marriage? Will your son come here after the marriage, seeking to reclaim his inheritance, displacing more deserving warriors?’
Cynehild gulped hard. The woman was truly like a spider, spinning various webs to trap her. ‘My son is my concern, not yours. Why are you so intent on causing trouble? Are you frightened of me?’
‘Trouble? Frightened of a woman like you?’ The woman blinked several times. ‘I came to let you know that my former brother-in-law may seem charming, but there is a dark side to him. How do you think he gained his jaarldom?’
A distinct chill went down Cynehild’s spine. Toka might speak of Kal being ruthless, but the woman had ice in her veins, and she clearly disliked even using Kal’s name. She would be willing to wager that Toka had something to do with Kal’s injuries, even though she suspected the woman preferred to keep her own hands clean.
‘Through being an excellent war leader—the same way my brother-in-law gained his.’
The woman’s gaze turned scornful. ‘You are such an innocent.’
‘Cynehild—here I discover you. I’ve been searching for you.’ Kal strode into the ruined building.
How much had he overheard? Cynehild’s stomach twisted into tight knots. She knew she needed to confess, but not with Toka listening. What she had to say was for Kal’s ears only.
‘Kal, I came to the church for my morning prayers. I’d hoped to be back before you woke, but I was detained.’ She nodded towards Toka. ‘Toka seeks to instruct me in how best to please you.’
Kal’s eyes flickered between the two women. His expression hardened. ‘I shall be taking Cyn back to my chambers now, Toka. Your storytelling must wait for another day. I believe I am perfectly capable of instructing my future wife in what gives me pleasure.’
‘I look forward to continuing our discussions, Cynehild. Particularly as I can see that you are someone who values the truth.’ Toka curtsied and left.
Cynehild swallowed hard. Kal’s eyes were frosted with ice. She struggled to see the gentle man who had held her. ‘My husband—’
‘Your husband hid his gold in this place, rather than take it with him,’ he said.
‘You knew that?’
‘Any number of helpful villagers seeking to curry favour told me when I first arrived. I have searched it but found nothing.’ His face was set in hard and unforgiving planes. ‘If there ever was a hoard, it vanished before I ever arrived.’
‘Your memory returns?’
‘Yes, although patches remain missing. I am many things, Cyn, but I’m not stupid. Know that I always intended on giving you safe passage to lay the sword. Maybe I was cruel enough to wonder how you’d react when you discovered the missing hoard. Maybe I wondered about your son and if you intended the laying of the sword to be the first move in an uprising which would deprive me of my lands. Maybe I planned some sort of retribution.’
Cynehild’s throat worked up and down. She’d been wrong to dismiss Brother Palni’s fears. ‘What are you going to do to me? I only wanted to show my son that his father truly cared for him. I wanted to show him that following a promise, even when it is hard, is the right thing to do.’
He watched her without making a move towards her. ‘I assumed you were like the other Mercian ladies I’d encountered. I was very wrong indeed. You are nothing like them.’ He held out his arm. ‘Are your prayers finished?’
‘I was nearly done when Toka interrupted me.’
‘Take your time. I will wait.’
Cynehild knelt for a little while longer, aware that she was being watched and that her mind refused to give her any words which would make right what she’d done to him.
She rose unsteadily, aware that sweat had
pooled at her back. Leofwine had made it seem so easy, but it was far more difficult than she’d considered. She would have walked straight into a trap. Kal would never have allowed her to take the gold, even if she had somehow managed to discover it.
Her stomach twisted. Did she truly know him? They had only spent a relatively short time together. Maybe some of the things Toka said about him had a ring of truth...
Cynehild instinctively rejected the idea. Toka was trying to stir up trouble, plain and simple. Once they’d discovered the identity of Kal’s attacker then she was going home without a backward glance. She had to hope that she would escape with her life and without losing too much of her heart.
She had more to confess, but not here in what remained of this church.
She wiped her hands against her gown. ‘I’m ready to return to your chambers now.’
Chapter Fourteen
Kal breathed more easily when they reached the confines of his chambers. When he’d woken to find Cyn gone he’d panicked, certain his enemy had captured her, and he’d not relaxed until he’d discovered her confronting Toka in the church.
Toka’s prattling about the supposed treasure Cynehild’s husband had hidden had made matters worse. Kal had a vivid memory of searching for it, but after digging the stones up he’d discovered an empty cavity under one of the flagstones near the altar. If any treasure had been buried there, it was long gone, stolen away—possibly by whomever had burnt the hall down.
He knew that without Cynehild he would be dead now. He owed her a great deal more than any non-existent hoard of gold. It failed to matter why she’d travelled here, but it did matter why she was here now. She’d saved his life. She’d demonstrated her value was worth far more than any amount of gold. He simply had to convince her of that.
The pain in his head eased.
Betrothed to the Enemy Viking Page 20