by L. S. Pullen
I squeeze my eyes closed, trying to find my centre before looking back at him. “No, I've just been so busy.” I feel guilty, knowing now more than ever I need to take better care of myself.
He gives me a stern look, and my eyes dart down at my lap. He steps away and makes his way over to the fridge, then pulls out a bottle of coke, twisting the cap off. He slides out a small plate of freshly made sandwiches.
“Here, you need to eat.” He holds out the plate, and I take it gratefully. Famished, I devour it.
“You were hungry,” he says, removing the empty plate and then passing me the bottle.
I swallow a large mouthful, quickly followed by a hiccup. I cover my mouth and muffle out, “Excuse me.” I blush, but he socks me with his signature smile. “Thank you, I needed that.”
“You’re more than welcome.” He takes the bottle, places it on the counter, then reaches his hand up to my face to tuck the hair behind my ear. My breath hitches. I’m suddenly very aware of how close he is. I don’t know why he always has to find a subtle way to touch me or why he always tucks my hair behind my ear, but it warms me to my core. He isn’t like this with anyone else. My stomach does a little flutter.
Everything around us seems to have stilled except for our breathing and the rapid beat of my heart thumping in my chest. His eyes slide to my lips. I don’t move as he bridges the gap between us. My eyelids flutter shut right before I feel the soft warmth of his lips seal against mine.
His tongue swipes gently along my bottom lip, and I open up to him. What started as gentle and slow, has now become intense. My arms slope around his neck as he guides my legs up. I wrap them around his waist, and his hands slip under my butt, holding me firmly.
I’m completely lost in him, surrounded by this moment when I hear the sound of laughter close by.
We both freeze and then pull apart a fraction. He rests his forehead against mine, our breathing heavy. He kisses the tip of my nose then steps back and in one solid move lifts me down and lets me find my footing.
“I think they’ll be missing their hostess. Shall we?” He holds out his arm. I smile as I take it. He winks at me, and I know he’s thinking things I am, but he won’t make this awkward. We were both swept up in the moment.
Chapter 26
Charlie
I’ve been having my doubts about what I asked Flick to help me do—keeping the lease on the shop quiet—but I was so worried she’d turn it down like there was an ulterior motive or something. Sophie deserves this. I couldn’t sit back and watch this opportunity slip through her fingers, not when the shop became available.
I’m going to have to tell her at some point, but just not yet. Hopefully, she won’t freak out too much, and she’ll see why I did it this way. She’s a stubborn, independent woman and it’s one of the many qualities I love about her. But Flick convinced her to come around, and I’m grateful for that.
The kiss we shared earlier totally got away from me. I couldn't help myself. I’ve never really been big on kissing, maybe because I’ve never felt a connection with anyone else the way I do with her. She’s bewitched me, and the thought scares the shit out of me. And what isn’t helping is the mixed signals. It’s not her fault. We have a connection, but just when I feel her letting go, her guard goes up, and she begins re-building those walls.
The spread she laid out today was on point. If that’s anything to go by, she’ll do well, I have no doubt. I can’t think of anyone else more deserving of having their dreams become a reality, and I couldn’t hide my smile when she revealed the name either. None of us knew, so I was in shock she’d gone with my suggestion. As pathetic as it sounds, it felt fucking awesome.
I hung back with Flick and Nate after everyone else had left, not being able to get a moment alone with her since our make-out session in the kitchen. Now Flick is with her in the kitchen and it’s just Nate and me.
“I’m going to bring my car around. Are you waiting here?” he asks. It’s a rhetorical question; he already knows I will. He nods once and leaves.
I can hear the girls whispering as I quietly move towards their hushed voices—that’s right, a grown man earwigging. I roll my eyes at my behaviour.
“Just be careful, that’s all I'm saying. If there’s more to this than you’re letting on, then maybe you should tell him?”
“Flick, I can't. It's just too complicated. You know that…”
I accidentally bump into a chair, causing it to scrape on the wooden floor, alerting them of my presence. They both turn their heads. I can tell from their facial expressions they’re worried I might have overheard something. Thinking fast, I try and play it off.
“What's complicated?” I ask, trying to keep my face impassive and nonchalant.
“Just girl stuff,” Flick says on a sigh. I see right through her attempt to hide whatever it was they were discussing, yet I also love the fact that they always have each other’s backs.
“Soph, are you ready to go? I can give you a lift home.”
“Yes, thank you.”
I’m grateful we live in the same direction, it’s the excuse I need to get her alone. She sets the alarm, then joins us outside and lowers the shutters as Nate pulls up. We say our goodbyes and make our way to my car.
Inside, I pull the small box out of my pocket. It was the reason I sought her out in the kitchen earlier. I was hoping to get a moment alone with her, but quickly got distracted. I clear my throat and wipe my palms on my jeans. Shit, why the fuck am I sweating? It’s not like I’m proposing.
“I have something for you,” I say, holding it out towards her.
“You didn’t need to do that,” she says, taking it from me.
I gently knock her shoulder. “Go on, open it.”
Her fingers tremble slightly. She won’t look at me.
“Don't go all shy on me. This is a milestone for you,” I say, pointing towards her. “I wanted to get you something.”
Her nerves are palpable. Why she finds it so hard to accept a gift is beyond me. She eyes it suspiciously, chewing the inside of her cheek.
“Please, Soph. Just open the damn gift,” I say, lightly trying to ease the tension.
“Fine, okay, bossy boots.”
Carefully she tears off the paper to reveal the velvet jewellery box. She hesitates and takes a deep breath. Opening the lid, she pauses.
“Wow, it's lovely.” She runs her finger over it.
“Do you like it?” I ask, unable to keep the smile off my face.
“Of course, how could I not? It's beautiful.”
I take the box out of her hand. “Good, let’s see what it looks like on shall we?”
She eyes me as I remove it from the box. I hold out my hand for her wrist and rest it on my thigh. I circle the bracelet around her delicate wrist and secure the clasp.
“Where did you get it?”
I should have guessed she’d know it wasn’t new—not because it appears old, more because it’s unique, one of a kind. I don’t know if I believe in fate, but she has the same initial as my mum, and it shouldn’t be sitting in a drawer somewhere. I hesitate at first, contemplating my answer, but I want her to know.
“It was my mum’s. She would’ve liked you. And you remind me of her.” I didn’t expect that much of the truth to come out.
“I can't accept this—”
I hold up my hand. “I’d be offended if you didn’t. Besides, I saved a lot of money for this when I was a kid. Found it in an antique shop in Aus. The owner let me pay him a little every week. She never took it off, not once. I had it cleaned, and the cupcake charm added.”
I’ve already said too much.
Running her fingers over the charm, she smiles. “It is exquisite. Thank you.” She leans over and puts her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. As uncomfortable as it is with the gear stick between us, I’m reluctant to let her go.
“I can't believe you'd give me this.”
“You mean a lot to me, Sophie. More than
just a friend.” What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Charlie, I don’t know what to say… I don’t want to be that girl anymore.”
“What girl?” I twist in my seat to give her my full attention.
“I always jump into things headfirst. But I never really give myself a chance just to be me.”
I don’t understand. “I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else. I like you, Sophie. I think we could have something, you and me.”
She stares out of the windscreen; the air grows thick and heavy.
“Sorry… I know I just dropped this on you and that wasn’t my intention. The bracelet wasn’t a gift that came with expectations. All I ask is that you think about the possibility of us?”
Her response is a small nod and a slight smile.
When I pull up outside her house, I switch the engine off. She unclips her seatbelt as I turn slightly in my seat.
“I really am chuffed for you, Soph.”
When she turns her head in my direction this time, her smile is genuine.
“Thank you, and thanks again for this,” she says, lifting her wrist.
I reach out for her hand and turn it over. I lean down and brush a soft kiss on her palm. She clutches her fingers in her palm and exits the car, saying goodbye over her shoulder.
I’m not sure if my reply made it past my lips, but I watch her until she’s safely inside before I pull away. Not telling her was no longer an option. It’s hard. I believed I could avoid it, the pull towards another—the all-consuming need to be with just one person. But I was foolish and naïve to think I could avoid the inevitable.
Chapter 27
Charlie
It’s been days since my confession, and I’m even more confused now than I was before. This whole situation is seriously beginning to mess with my sanity.
Nate came by to see me and is sitting on the other side of the bar while I sort out the rack of glasses to get ready for opening.
“Have you heard from Soph?” he asks, and that is the pivotal question, isn’t it.
I shake my head. “No, not a peep.”
He drums his fingers on the bar. “I don't know why she shies away from anything potentially good for her. You two should give it a shot if that's what you both want.”
“That’s just it. She doesn’t know what she wants.”
“Maybe not, but I see how you watch each other. You ogle her the way you do your baby grand, so I know your feelings run deep.”
I drop the tea towel and stare at him unblinking. “Who are you and what have you done with my hot-headed, mouthy best mate?”
“Fuck off,” he says, throwing a beer coaster at my face.
“Shut up. You know what I mean. You here, talking about feelings and shit…”
He nods and stares me down, his face serious. “You remember the accident I had?”
As if I could ever forget, my skin crawls just thinking about it. “That’s a rhetorical question, right?”
“I thought I was dead. Did I ever tell you that?”
I shake my head. “No, but maybe it had something to do with the fact you came close.” I try to swallow the knot in my throat. “It’s not something I’ll ever forget.”
He lowers his head but raises his eyes to speak. “I saw my Gramps, and the truth is, a big part of me didn’t want to leave. I felt this close to staying.” He holds up his thumb and forefinger a tiny width apart for emphasis. “I swear, man, if you ever repeat what I’m about to tell you…”
I lean back with a frown.
“It might have just been some crazy arse dream, but the truth is, it was so vivid. The pull to stay was overwhelming. But this was where I was meant to be.”
I know Nate’s faith dwindled when he lost his parents. It was the same for me with my mum. It was like when his Gramps went, the last of his resolve crumbled.
“Okay, man, so what exactly are you getting at here?” I don’t ask trying to be condescending. It’s just hearing him say he practically had a near-death experience isn’t something I want to think about, not when the sight of him pinned under the car is one I’ll never be able to erase.
“I guess what I’m saying is, sometimes things happen the way they’re supposed to, and sometimes we just have to trust things will work out, you know.”
“Are you saying I should let her come to me? That I need to back off?”
“Yeah, in a roundabout way. She likes you, I know she does, but she needs time to catch up. Flick worries about her. Sometimes when she smiles, she thinks we can’t see her sadness—just beneath the surface.”
It irks me that they’ve seen it, too. I’d prefer it not to be true, for me to have been mistaken, for her not to be genuinely sad. Nate sees more than he lets on, ignores her outward facade. I’ve seen it, too—the unspoken despair hidden in her eyes.
I never knew someone could say so much with so little words until I got to know her. And now I live for the rare moments where her eyes are alight and whatever demons she might be harbouring are in hiding long enough for me to glimpse a carefree and happy Sophie.
I want to show her every day how important she is to me. So, taking a step back goes against everything my body and heart are telling me, but I know if I don’t, she’ll keep pulling away from me.
“I’ve never seen you like this about a woman, and to be honest, it's quite unnerving.”
I grab a couple of bottles of coke and remove the caps, handing one to him. “Tell me about it.”
“I never thought I’d see the day when Charlie fucking Broadbent would be completely slain by a woman,” he says, laughing.
“I take it you’re talking about the delectable Sophie,” says Olly, walking in on the tail end of our conversation.
He walks over, fist bumps Nate and nods in my direction.
“Watch it, Oliver, I’m still your boss,” I say, but there’s no conviction in my words. I can’t even be mad at him for the way he is with Sophie. Because it’s Olly and he’s like it with everyone, and I mean anyone who will give him the time of day.
“True dat. But you also couldn’t run this place without me.”
“Touché,” I say, raising my bottle.
Nate elbows Olly. “So, I saw you and Rachel giving each other the stink eye the other day at the pre-opening.”
I lean on the bar, resting my chin on my hand. “Oh, do tell?”
He shakes his head, but not before something crosses his face. He clears his throat. “Nothing to tell.”
“If you say so, man, but even Flick noticed.”
He shrugs, but damn if I didn’t miss it. Now I’m intrigued. “Well, I, for one, didn’t notice. Did something happen between you two?”
He leans back, taps his finger on his nose. “None of your business, boss man.” He turns and heads out back, and I can’t help but laugh. Yeah, someone else is well and truly screwed.
Nate smiles, shaking his head.
“So, what gives?” I ask.
“I have no idea, man, but whatever it is, I’m sure it won’t stay hidden for long.”
And that’s it right there. The truth comes out, whether we will it away or not. Can’t hide from your feelings, apparently. Unless you’re Sophie, who is currently making it her forte.
Chapter 28
Charlie
This shit fucking sucks.
It turns out, trying to keep away from Sophie is fucking hard—like the earth not having the sun or the moon. I’ve made excuses to be in the general area of the coffee shop, but I don’t stay long. It’s so that I can see her for myself and know she’s all right.
I’ve even noticed a glow about her that wasn’t there before, and I don’t think it’s from her finally living her dream. I keep having this internal battle, jumping to conclusions that there is another reason behind it. And sometimes it sucks the breath out of me when I consider the possibility that it might be because she’s met someone. It's illogical, she’s been busy working her arse off, but I still worry, and then
something uneasy settles in the pit of my stomach, my chest becomes heavy. Is this what it feels like to be jealous?
My imagination soon gets the best of me, and before I can stop myself, I’ve typed out a text and sent it to Nate.
Do you know if Soph is seeing someone else?
Shit, I wish I could take it back, but it’s too late. I turn my phone over in my hands, feeling like an absolute prick when it pings with his reply.
Random. I thought she was thinking about u 2?
He’s right. I asked her to think about us. I don’t even know how to do relationships, and I sure as hell do not know how to talk about my feelings.
You’re right. Forget I asked. I’ll catch up with you later.
I decide to stop with this internal bullshit and drop by instead.
The bell chimes when I push through the door. Fresh-baked goodness completely slays me, my mouth salivates. I’d never stop eating if I worked here.
“Hi, Rachel, how are you?” I ask, straining to glimpse over her shoulder towards the kitchen.
Her smile is wide when she glances up from the counter. She comes around and gives me a quick hug in greeting.
“She’s not here,” she says, not needing me to ask.
“Oh, do you know when she’s due back?”
“Not long. About an hour or so,” she says with a half-shrug.
“No worries. How are you anyway? How’s Molly Mae?”
Her eyes shine with a mother’s love. “She’s good. Walking—well, standing and falling on her booty.”
“Boy, times sure have changed,” I say with a wink.
It wasn’t so long ago we were on opposite sides of the counter. Only I was behind the bar, and she was out partying every week.
“Yep. Coffee?” she asks.
I nod, might as well, I’m here now. “Only if you throw in one of those glorious muffins,” I reply.
“So, how're things with you?” she asks while making me a cappuccino.
“Same old.”
I don’t know how I feel about Rachel being in the shop alone, or Sophie for that matter. It’s not busy now, but surely they shouldn’t be alone working. It’s probably none of my business, but I’ll mention it to her when I see Soph next.