The skin on T’chok’s cheeks darkened, and T’lan knew he was remembering all of the times he had done his duty as a Yehrin officer.
“I do not believe that I would be the appropriate male.”
“Of course you would. Please, T’chok. Someone has to look out for them.”
T’lan saw the instant T’chok succumbed to M’lee’s pleading. “Very well. I will request the assignment.”
“Thank you.” She gave him a determined nod. “I will tell T’rarchar you’d be perfect for the job.”
All three males suppressed a groan.
As they approached the ship, silence fell, and the increased tension was almost visible. As they passed between the outer arms, T’lan saw to his relief that, despite the two gaping holes in the central hub, the lights were on and normal activity had resumed. As soon as they docked and the airlock engaged, he released M’lee’s straps and stood with her in his arms.
“I am taking M’lee to the medic.”
“Tren should come, too,” she insisted.
The young warrior had grown increasingly pale on the return journey. T’lan nodded at T’chok and he moved to T’renan’s side. “We will all go,” he said.
At M’lee’s insistence, and over the protests of all of the males, A’rathia examined T’renan first, stitched up his head wound, and confined him to an observation room for twenty-four hours. Then she examined M’lee, ran a scan to confirm that the child had suffered no injury, spread healing gel over her bruises, and tended the wounds on her arm.
“Now go home, child,” she ordered. “T’lan, take her to your quarters, cleanse her, feed her a bowl of hot soup, and put her to bed.”
The four parted ways, with M’lee promising to visit T’renan the next day and to visit T’rarchar on T’chok’s behalf. T’lan carried her away before she began to promise them females as well.
“I’m fine, T’lan. I can walk.”
“No.” He kept walking. His feelings buffeted him. He was relieved that she and the child were healthy, but he was still furious that she had let him believe, even for a short time, that their child had died. He was equally as furious at the way T’ngorzul had explained their traditions, but couldn’t escape the feeling of guilt that he had not informed her of their true situation.
As soon as they entered their quarters, M’lee spotted Tribs in the life pod. She gasped and began to struggle against his arms.
“Let me down. Why did you put him in there? Is he—is he dead?”
“Be calm, my L’chka. The life pod is healing him. He is very brave little sekhmet—he is the one who alerted me that you had been taken.”
“Thank God. I was so afraid that T’ngorzul had killed him.”
He put a finger on her chin, and gently turned her face to his. “Now tell me. Why do you react with distress whenever I call you my L’chka?”
Her fingers went to the front of his uniform, picking at the fabric.
“M’lee.”
She still would not look at him. “Can’t we talk about this after we take a shower?”
Although he recognized that she wished to avoid the discussion, she was correct. Despite the perfunctory cleansing necessary to attend to her wounds, streaks of blood and dirt still covered her golden skin. Dismayed that he had been distracted from her needs, he agreed to her request.
“Very well. But we will return to the subject.”
“I know. I don’t want any more lies between us.”
“I have never lied to you, M’lee.”
“But you haven’t told me everything, have you?” She finally met his eyes and the pain in them shook him to his core.
Once they were in the cleansing room, he found it hard to put her down. She felt so small and fragile in his arms, and he had the terrifying sensation that she would slip away once he released her. Reluctantly, he placed her on her feet as he adjusted the water flow. She moved under it with a sigh of relief. As always, the sight of her naked body sent a surge of lust through him. Yesterday, he would have turned away, left her alone as he went to fight his urges elsewhere. Today, he had come too close to losing her. He could not leave. Stripping out of his belt and uniform, he went to join her under the water. Her eyes were closed but she opened them when he moved in behind her.
“You’re still here.”
“Yes, M’lee. I told you that I would not let my fear control me.”
She sighed and moved into his arms. “I have missed you so much.”
“As have I. It has tormented me not to be close to you.”
“T’lan, you didn’t hurt me. If anything, I was the one who was… overenthusiastic. You can’t take responsibility for everything.”
“It is my honor to care for you.”
“And I love that you feel that way. But if we’re going to be together…”
“If?” His hearts raced. “There is no if, M’lee. You are mine, always.”
“Only if you are honest with me. Don’t try and protect me by keeping secrets from me.”
“Yes, my L’chka.”
He caught the way her body tensed. “M’lee?”
“Just let me wash first.”
“I will wash you.”
She blushed. “I have missed that, too.”
His cock ached incessantly as his hands reacquainted themselves with her lush contours, but he managed to ignore it as he washed her swiftly and efficiently. He had also missed performing this service for her, and he cursed himself for having wasted this past week. As soon as she was clean, he moved her under the drying chamber, combing through her pale curls with his fingers as they dried, then wrapped her in a drying cloth. He carried her back into their bedchamber, reveling in the clean, delicious fragrance of his woman. After seating her against the pillows, he brought her a cup of hot tea, covered her with a blanket, and took a seat by her side.
“Now, M’lee.”
She picked at the blanket, not looking at him. “When T’ngorzul came to see me in the workroom, he told me that L’chka means Breeder in the old tongue.”
“Yes, that is part of the meaning. Why does that bother you?”
“It implies that you only want me because I can give you children; that I am only of value as a womb.”
His hearts ached at her words, and he hurried to reassure her. “Do you not know that you mean everything to me? If you could not have children, I would be saddened—for both of us—but I would never think you were of less value. You are mine, always.”
“You really mean that?”
“Yes, my L’chka.”
“But when I asked you if a L’chka was like a wife, you said no.”
“Because humans claim to make these bonds, yet they do not keep them. They are not faithful. They take a wife and discard her and take another. That will never happen with us.”
Tears sparkled in her eyes.
“Do not cry, my L’chka.”
“These are happy tears.” She leaned into him and he picked her up and tucked her against his chest. Despite her contented sigh, he was not surprised when her questions resumed.
“If breeding isn’t the most important part of a relationship, why did you even start to use that term?”
“It is a long story. One which I gladly will tell you,” he added hastily when she frowned. “But do you wish to hear it tonight?”
“Yes, I think it’s time.”
“Very well.” He leaned back against the headboard, settled her more comfortably across his thighs—ignoring his throbbing cock—and decided how to begin.
“The Yehrin have always been a warrior race. In the distant past, there was no greater happiness than to fight in glorious battle and die an honorable death. So, when we left our planetary system, there was no doubt that we would conquer all who came before us.”
“But?”
“But battles come at a cost, no matter how honorable the warriors. So, our ancient scientists went to work and altered our genetics. As a result, most Yehrin are born male.�
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“Cannon fodder,” she muttered.
“What?”
“An Earth expression meaning those who exist simply to fall beneath the enemy’s weapons.”
“Perhaps,” he conceded, “Although there was never any intention that they should fall.”
“So you took your boy babies and you conquered?”
“Yes. And we won. Only a few enemies could not be defeated in outright battle and we eventually came to an agreement with them.”
“Wait a minute. There were enemies you could not defeat?”
“Yes,” he admitted reluctantly. “The Yehrin Empire, the Brothers of Trauweth, the Icluthy, and the Xihlulen are all on a par in terms of technology and fighting skills. To destroy them, we would destroy ourselves, so we signed a compact.”
“What would have happened if they had come to Earth first?”
“The Xihlulen would have consumed it down to the last mineral in the crust. The Brothers of Trauweth would have taken you as slaves for their cult. The Icluthy are most like us.”
“You mean they want our women?” She smiled, and he could see that she joked but she had no idea how correct she was.
“Yes.” Her eyes widened. “They are not short of females, but they have a… different relationship with them. They also seek to preserve planets, although their intentions often take a different form. However, they are not here, we are. And you wished to understand Yehrin history, did you not?”
At her nod, he continued. “The problem started after we won the majority of our battles and reached the agreement with the other civilizations. Our warriors had fought valiantly, and they had lived. They wanted to enjoy their victory. They wanted to settle down, to have a home and a family.”
“Surely, on all of those conquered worlds, there were plenty of females?” Her eyes narrowed and he could not help but be pleased at the jealousy he could detect in her voice.
“There were many,” he agreed. “If all you wanted was an available female. There were not so many with which to raise a family. Very few species are genetically compatible with the Yehrin. And we have discovered that even when all of the tests indicate that we are a match, it does not mean we can breed with them. That is why the use of L’chka as breeder is considered the highest honor.”
“I see. And is that why you claimed me when you found out I was pregnant?”
“No, M’lee. As soon as I held you in my arms, I felt our connection. I did not expect it—I had never dreamed that I would be so honored—so I did not understand at first. Only after my rage at S’ram’s actions overwhelmed me, did I realize that I had found my mate.”
“Oh, T’lan.” She lifted her face for a kiss. He sought her lips urgently, his hunger for her increased by the distance he had placed between them, but the hunger was matched by a tenderness that he did not have the words to express. He delved deeper into her mouth, trying to collect every drop of the succulence he had so foolishly denied himself. When at last he raised his head, she was flushed and glowing and satisfaction filled him. His L’chka, content within his arms once again.
“Is there more?” she asked.
Putting aside the temptation to postpone any further discussion until after he had fully restored their relationship, he nodded.
“I am afraid so. You see, even on the rare occasions when we have found a truly compatible species, it has been difficult to get the females with child. And the child is most often male. So the imbalance continues.”
“Which is why a female child is so valuable?”
“Yes. T’ngorzul was correct in that respect.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth. “That is why only four Yehrin know that our child is female. We do not want to create a frenzy before the Forbidden Cycle is complete.”
“What’s this Forbidden Cycle about, anyway? I would think you would want to dive right in, so to speak, and find out if a new species is compatible.”
“That was the traditional approach. In darker times, honor has been discarded.” He did not want to reveal his people’s greatest dishonor, but he had promised to conceal nothing. “Many generations ago, we came to Zenn-la. Our testing had indicated that they were compatible, although you must understand that reality often proves the tests false. But our warriors were impatient and when one female became with child, they did not behave as warriors should. Many females, willing or not, were bred.” M’lee’s face paled and he could read the shock in her eyes, but he continued on. “Somehow, and we still do not know how it was done, a message was communicated among those women and within a month, they all died at their own hands. Millions of females who could have represented great hope for our future, all dead, because of our dishonor. So, the Forbidden Cycle came to be, as a reminder that no matter how great the temptation, we must wait and behave with honor.”
M’lee returned to picking at the blanket, looking troubled,
“Did you really learn the lesson? Imprisoning a group of women to await the end of your deadline doesn’t seem much better.” Her hands twisted in the fabric. “I know you said they had to be willing, but it still doesn’t seem to me as if they know they have a choice.”
“They are informed. When I—” He stopped abruptly but it was too late.
“When you what?”
“At the conclusion of the Forbidden Cycle, it is requested that all unattached officers perform their duty and attempt a breeding with a new species to test compatibility.”
Her body tensed. “And you did that?”
“Once, on my first campaign. The situation was clearly explained to the female and she had to give written consent.”
“Written consent? In return for what?”
“Her needs would be taken care of for the rest of her life,” he admitted.
“Can’t you see how wrong that is?” She dropped the blanket and reached for his hand, giving him an imploring look. “You basically bought a woman to have sex with you. Then you are shocked when someone like Sam’s mother behaves so badly.”
“It bothered me then and it bothers me now, which is why I never did it again. But M’lee, I do not think you understand. If we cannot reproduce, our entire species will die out.” He gently cupped her face. “You have given us great hope.”
“Just because I’m having a girl? You said most, not all, children are male, so obviously girls have been born before. I know we’re having a girl—but she’s only one child.”
“I understand. But to breed so easily...” She winced at his words. “And to have a female child immediately. Do you not know how much that means to us?”
“And don’t you see why that makes me doubt your feelings?”
“M’lee, I meant what I said. I would love you if you had a male child. I would love you if you never had a child at all. The most important thing is that we are together.”
“You love me?” she whispered.
“How can you doubt it?”
“You never said it.”
“It is not a word that comes easily to my people. But, M’lee, L’chka does not just mean Breeder; the very oldest meaning is Beloved. That is why I have called you that since the first hour in which we met.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Emily stared at T’lan, her mind in turmoil. Had he truly loved her that long? It had taken her longer to fall, although she too had felt the connection between them immediately. When she thought back over his actions, from tasting her meals to patiently waiting for her to agree to his claim to fighting for her, the poison of T’ngorzul’s words finally slipped away.
Happy tears filled her eyes. “I believe you.”
“Truly? You have no more questions or doubts?”
She grinned at him as the weight left her chest. “I will always have questions—but not about your feelings. I have no more doubts.”
“And you trust me completely?” His eyes started to glow, and a giddy sense of expectation swept over her.
“Yes, I trust you. Why?”
“Because, my L�
��chka, you lied to me. You let me think our child had died.”
Shame suffused her face with color. It had been a moment’s impulse, a desire to test him, but she had seen the devastation in his face.
“I know. I’m truly sorry, T’lan. I was afraid and I let T’ngorzul prey on those fears. He seemed so convinced that he was telling the truth.”
“In his twisted mind, he was. It is why he was so successful at stirring unrest.”
“What was he doing?”
“Spreading rumors about our ability to have a child with a human female.”
“Which is true,” she pointed out.
“Yes, but he did not know that, did he?”
“No, I don’t think he did. It was not until he realized that I was the person Sam… cared about, that he made the connection.”
“He also tried to have warriors rebel against the Forbidden Cycle, again because it was something he truly did not believe should exist.”
“Did it work?”
“He created some unhappiness, especially among some of the younger warriors, but we were able to reinforce the appropriateness of behaving with honor.” A grim expression crossed his face and she shivered. “It is because of you that we were able to stop the rot before it spread too far.”
“Because of me?”
“Knowing that you were with child—that someone had already broken the law—led me to investigate.”
“Why do you think Sam did it?”
He scowled but admitted reluctantly. “I believe he truly cared for you. He was young and he had T’ngorzul whispering poisonous words in his ear. To be so close to you and not have you must have been torture.”
“Would you have resisted?”
“I do not know, my L’chka. The time that you made me wait was torturous enough—to have waited an entire cycle…”
“But you don’t have to wait any more.” She wiggled her butt, delighting in the immediate response from the hard shaft beneath her. Her fingers trailed down his chest, loving the silky softness of hair dusted skin over warm, hard muscle.
“We must still be careful,” he warned.
“Of course. But it’s been so long. My whole body aches for you.” She lowered the drying cloth to expose her swollen breasts. His arm was behind her so she leaned back, knowing he would never let her fall, and cupped her breasts, offering them to him. “Can’t you see how much I need you?”
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